Stan_
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- Apr 25, 2022
- 30
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I saw some threads here about good advice, books, habits etc. that people wish they read / heard about earlier.
I am actually curious about the opposite. What BAD advice, BAD books, BAD habits etc. did you wish you never read / heard about ?
I think that achieving what you want is more times than not about NOT doing a specific thing than doing a specific thing.
I'll go first with an easy one
"Listen and follow your feelings when they spark up"
Absolutely useless advice that made me waste so much time beating myself up for feeling discomfort when things got hard.
I kept thinking that there was going to be a magical point where things will feel "natural" and "comfortable" and if I was not there that just meant that I needed to explore and meditate on my feelings even more (action faking by all accounts).
For example I was a very anxious person. I had anxiety spikes every time I went into a place with unknown people (yes, things literally as small as a shop). I used to think that I need to examine my anxiety and just be gentle with myself. Just tell myself that nothing was going to happen until the feeling disappeared.
That feeling never disappeared.
And when I got sick of this cycle I told myself that DESPITE me feeling anxious I will STILL follow through with the action that I meant to do.
And you know what? I still had anxiety. But little by little as I kept going it wound down.
Ultimately I've learned that having a bad feeling in fact is a good indication that I was doing something that would take me in the right direction.
What others do you have? And what books or habits do you wish you did not hear about?
I am actually curious about the opposite. What BAD advice, BAD books, BAD habits etc. did you wish you never read / heard about ?
I think that achieving what you want is more times than not about NOT doing a specific thing than doing a specific thing.
I'll go first with an easy one
"Listen and follow your feelings when they spark up"
Absolutely useless advice that made me waste so much time beating myself up for feeling discomfort when things got hard.
I kept thinking that there was going to be a magical point where things will feel "natural" and "comfortable" and if I was not there that just meant that I needed to explore and meditate on my feelings even more (action faking by all accounts).
For example I was a very anxious person. I had anxiety spikes every time I went into a place with unknown people (yes, things literally as small as a shop). I used to think that I need to examine my anxiety and just be gentle with myself. Just tell myself that nothing was going to happen until the feeling disappeared.
That feeling never disappeared.
And when I got sick of this cycle I told myself that DESPITE me feeling anxious I will STILL follow through with the action that I meant to do.
And you know what? I still had anxiety. But little by little as I kept going it wound down.
Ultimately I've learned that having a bad feeling in fact is a good indication that I was doing something that would take me in the right direction.
What others do you have? And what books or habits do you wish you did not hear about?
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