User Power
Value/Post Ratio
95%
- May 30, 2023
- 357
- 340
Sup.
I'm writing this in 23pm, 2 hours after I should've slept already.
F*ck. I endure 2 months of sheer physical suffering, day in and day out, and it's going to last for 2 months more.
The reason? I'm constantly sleepless. In the place where I should have safety - called "home", I have a mfk who creates a living hell in this place. My roommate.
And if only it was an obvious way, but no. He is an obese, lazy man, and for some reason, my brain tries to copy him.
And I can't sleep because of it. Because in the home, where I should become stronger, as a result of rethinking past experiences, I am becoming weaker. And I have to fight it.
I am sleeping in the libraries now. But the closest library to me right in my building is too crowded and so I have to go across an entire town to get to one which is empty.
Oh, and the project? I can work on it with the half of my brain, but it's constantly tired from either fighting this person or being simply broken that there is barely space for work.
It's not the problems that I thought I would have. Damn it. I just want a room, a plug, and a couple of months upon which I can finish FullCook, but I can't even afford it! The market doesn't care for what you will do, it only cares for what you have.
It's easy now to write when you are alone and with energy. But 90% of the time, I'm not. As if, I'm doing everything right, but because I have no money right now, my options are locked in. Don't even know if I can do good delivery - it'll get to 0°C soon, and I don't know if I had enough money to.
It's simple to make decisions, and do, when you are alone, or beside someone that supports you. But when you are not, even though you try to control your life, your options are tied in, and your impact is decreased..
Whoever is reading this, make sure you are the most goal-striving, life-controlling man, because if you won't - bad shit will come and you won't even able to be goal-striving anymore - because you won't function. You will be too tired to think, to reject bad decisions and to make good ones.
And tommorrow my today will repeat again.
I'm writing this in 23pm, 2 hours after I should've slept already.
F*ck. I endure 2 months of sheer physical suffering, day in and day out, and it's going to last for 2 months more.
The reason? I'm constantly sleepless. In the place where I should have safety - called "home", I have a mfk who creates a living hell in this place. My roommate.
And if only it was an obvious way, but no. He is an obese, lazy man, and for some reason, my brain tries to copy him.
And I can't sleep because of it. Because in the home, where I should become stronger, as a result of rethinking past experiences, I am becoming weaker. And I have to fight it.
I am sleeping in the libraries now. But the closest library to me right in my building is too crowded and so I have to go across an entire town to get to one which is empty.
Oh, and the project? I can work on it with the half of my brain, but it's constantly tired from either fighting this person or being simply broken that there is barely space for work.
It's not the problems that I thought I would have. Damn it. I just want a room, a plug, and a couple of months upon which I can finish FullCook, but I can't even afford it! The market doesn't care for what you will do, it only cares for what you have.
It's easy now to write when you are alone and with energy. But 90% of the time, I'm not. As if, I'm doing everything right, but because I have no money right now, my options are locked in. Don't even know if I can do good delivery - it'll get to 0°C soon, and I don't know if I had enough money to.
It's simple to make decisions, and do, when you are alone, or beside someone that supports you. But when you are not, even though you try to control your life, your options are tied in, and your impact is decreased..
Whoever is reading this, make sure you are the most goal-striving, life-controlling man, because if you won't - bad shit will come and you won't even able to be goal-striving anymore - because you won't function. You will be too tired to think, to reject bad decisions and to make good ones.
And tommorrow my today will repeat again.
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