Clash of Egos in Family Business

[Andreas]

I worked at a job for 4-5 years before leaving to assist with the family business. Around 5 months into this role, I identified issues with setting priorities and communication.

Our family business in the natural stone industry was established by my grandfather approximately 50 years ago. Over time, more family members joined, while some pursued independent ventures and left the business. We are now the 3rd generation involved, with my grandfather still contributing part-time.

The biggest and most glaring issue is the debt that was accumulated by the previous generation because they made bad investments. They were not calculated risks, but more like careless spending and borrowing so as a result of that we are forced to work more hours because we can't afford to hire new people. The debt is steadily being repaid but until then we have to sit tight for a few more years.

Our business specializes in high-quality materials with fewer customers but higher profit margins (20-30%) compared to competitors. When it comes to construction materials, the people who want cheap, lightning fast delivery and good quality at the same time bring a lot of headaches and much teeth grinding so we are able to weed these people out quickly due to the nature of our products and how we process them. It's not that we don't get difficult customers, but when we do, this is where we rub more salt to our wounds.

My grandfather's impatience and insistence on outdated methods often disrupt workflow. Despite my brothers' expertise in handling major client projects, clashes arise with my grandfather's inflexibility. This causes frustration within the family, and despite efforts to streamline operations, my grandfather's resistance persists.

As a newcomer to the business, I lack the authority to address these issues directly. However, I am focused on organizing tasks and implementing incremental improvements to enhance efficiency. I like the challenge of figuring out how to fill in the gaps in efficiency and it makes me very happy when employees start implementing new ideas and make incremental improvements. Nevertheless, my grandfather's stubbornness remains a recurring obstacle for us to navigate.

My brothers and I have no clue how to deal with that, and even if our debt was wiped off instantly and managed to hire more people, we would still be unhappy because of that issue.

 

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[heavy_industry]

Ask yourself one simple question: What is the purpose of this business?

• Is this business built from the ground up to serve the NEEDS of the market?
• Or is it just a fun side project to bring the family together?

There is no right or wrong answer. Both are noble goals.

However, if the answer is #1, and the customers want X, Y, and Z.

That's exactly what you are going to deliver: X, Y, and Z.

---

Everything else is secondary. Nobody gives a shit about:

• The age of the company
• Who started the company and why
• Your relationship with your team (parents, children, friends from college, etc.)
• Methods used to manufacture, deliver, and repair the products
• Etc. etc. etc.

Are you solving my problem? Yes or no?

If yes, here is my money.

---

This is obviously a very sensitive matter, and you're the only one that can decide the path forward.

But you can have your cake and eat it too: there are a myriad of non-business activities that you can engage in to spend quality time with your family.


However, if you decide to stay in this business, I would highly recommend reading the book Extreme Ownership.

By reading it, you will understand that your grandfather's stubbornness is not the problem. You are the problem.

 

[Andreas]

Ask yourself one simple question: What is the purpose of this business?

• Is this business built from the ground up to serve the NEEDS of the market?
• Or is it just a fun side project to bring the family together?

There is no right or wrong answer. Both are noble goals.

However, if the answer is #1, and the customers want X, Y, and Z.

That's exactly what you are going to deliver: X, Y, and Z.

---

Everything else is secondary. Nobody gives a shit about:

• The age of the company
• Who started the company and why
• Your relationship with your team (parents, children, friends from college, etc.)
• Methods used to manufacture, deliver, and repair the products
• Etc. etc. etc.

Are you solving my problem? Yes or no?

If yes, here is my money.

At this point we are very clear on who we are selling to and what we sell.

The problem is, we are not being as efficient as we should. My task is not to implement things that are nice to have, but rather, what can we do different to automate repetitive tasks and get things done faster. It's not just about solving the client's problem in this industry. It's very important to do it on time because there are a bunch of different firms and professionals who have to fulfil their timelines in the construction industry.

I lack the knowledge and experience to deal with the communication problem because I don't have the skills yet, which is why I'm asking in the first place.

 

[ZCP]

Have the talk i did with my Dad in the same spot ........ Dad, do you want me in this business? There is massive opportunity and things that need to change and most of them start with you. He was clear.

I went off to university to learn to be an engineer and eventually now run my own company.

It your Grandfather is the owner, it is his business. If he does not want you to lead / manage / be a part of it, don't. If he does, set clears goals and boundaries and remind him that each time he blows up or disagrees or does not let someone handle their role; he says go somewhere else.

Finally, you do not owe the family anything. Make your own path. Either there or somewhere else.

In the grand scheme, you grandfather will want you to be happy. Being somewhere else might be the way. Dm me, would be happy to do a call with a few of you in the business and give you some advice / thoughts / ideas.

 

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[Andreas]

Just to make it clear, I'm not the one having arguments with my grandpa or anyone, and I can walk away at any time but I choose to stay. I like the challenge of process improvement, but when it comes to the issue of stubbornness, I have no clue how to help my brothers out.

When they talked about their emotional issues, they were very frank and admitted that they have their own issues. As we all know when it comes to emotional issues, they can't be dealt with pure logic and math, which is why I'm asking for advice from anyone who has more experience in this area.

 

[ZCP]

....... Dm me, would be happy to do a call with a few of you in the business and give you some advice / thoughts / ideas.

@Andreas