My life is about three magical words. Three words everyone heard before. And it’s not about the well-known words “I love you”. A little bit, though. It’s a story about the question, “Who am I?”…
Hi guys, I am Manuela and I am 26 years old. I am not finished with “The Millionaire Fastlane “ yet but it has already changed my life. I’d rather say it changed my perspective and and as a result my perception. But there was a time before as well…
When I was little, there was a strong bond between me and my mum. I was brought up very warm-hearted. My mum picked me up from kindergarten and cooked lunch for me and my older sister. I met with my best friend almost every day. She came to our house, I went to hers. Whenever I didn't meet up with a friend, my mum, my sister and me went on bike rides or picnics at lunchtime, did handicrafts and drew paintings, or played catch on climbing frames. In the evening my dad came home from work and I was excided to see him. On weekends, as a family, we rode inline skis, fly kites or ride sleds (ofc depending of the season). I had a great childhood. Later, in elementary school it was the same. I’ve enjoyed it very much.
In 7th grade, I was a 13 year old teenager, our class got a new mate. We linked quickly. She became my best buddy and we had the best time of our lives. But one day it changed. She bullied me and I had no clue why. Other classmates avoided me and I had no clue why. I had no idea how to deal with this kind of rejection. So I withdrew and isolated myself for a pretty long time. Due to that I developed social phobia, low self-esteem and high levels of self-doubt. “I am not enough“, became my mindset (because I decided that this is reality). For a long time I was afraid of connecting with people and to experience rejection again. Furthermore, I assumed I was no longer noticed by others. All of it was a damn negative feedback loop I coundn’t break out of. Because I didn’t know how to trust anyone, I suffered in silence. A few years ago I’ve red a quote by Charles Cooley, who said, “I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am”. This absolutely represents my younger self-concept. During this time I was in a relationship. My boyfriend was my “life saver“ (continue reading to get to know what he became later on), because I had no one else. I was afraid of losing him and thus being alone again. So I started clinging to him. As the years went by (many years), I spent a lot of time alone, I often studied for school because otherwise I had little to do. My life was colorless – it was boring. There was hardly anything that inspired me. More years have passed and I took life as it was.
In 2022 I met a guy who showed me the sunny side of life. My life revealed itself to me like under a lens: I was unhappy for a very long time, unhappy about who I am, about my relationship and about the life I was going to live. I realised something had to change – I had to stand up for myself. When I decided to deal with all bad experiences from my school days and to admit fears, I began to discover a brand new me. I realized that I am much more than my past experiences. It was no longer the question “Who am I?” but “Who do I want to be?”. No longer I wanted to be a frightened and shy girl. So I started the process of becoming an independent woman. I actually wanted to live my dreams: to do whatever I want to do (no matter what time or what others say) and to explore the beauty of the world. First step was to communicate about my desires. So I told my boyfriend about my plans. When he dismissed it with, "It's just a phase", I wondered at his lack of understanding. He prevented me from thriving freely, from being the woman I wanted to be. One day I realised that there is no way to fix this relationship. In consequence, I had to break up after nearly 11 years. It was time to put myself first. It was the only way I could ever be happy.
When I broke up with my bf, my mum told me the reason for my bullying experience. She knew it for all the time (9 years!) but she kept quiet in order to “protect“ me. My former classmate and best buddy was jealous of me having a boyfriend - that’s it. The motive is so ridiculous. Curious about what happened with that bond between me and my mum…? Right, it’s not as strong as it was before. And I wonder if I can ever trust her fully again (haven’t found an answer yet).
Since the separation of my bf, I dealt a lot with my fears, but also with my needs. Then something gorgeous happened. A man came into my life. A man who listened to me. A man who carried about my fears and needs. By showing me the importance of open communication, I learned to trust him fully, regardless of my past difficulties. Later, he became my partner (and hopefully my husband-to-be). He loves me just the way I am. For the first time in my life I can be who I am even if I am going crazy. Being valued by him is an infinitely fulfilling feeling!
In the end, I am so glad I had the courage to break up with my former bf and to put myself first. It’s the most important thing to pay attention to your deepest wishes, desires, hopes and dreams. I’ve created a new mindset. Whenever something isn’t good, I take action and change status quo. Meanwhile, it’s really fun connecting with people. Addressing people proactively is still a small challenge, ‘cause I am still afraid of rejection. But that doesn’t stop me. If I get rejected, I’ll try again at another point. All in one it was such a valueable lesson! Now I know I can reach anything if I have the courage to take action.
And what does this mean for my future me? I don’t know in detail. But I know how it feels when you don’t have anyone to lean on - no support, no role model, no friends, no safe space. I can relate with all those who feel or felt similar. This empathy is one of my superpowers and I’d like to make use of it! I wanna bring people together, so they can expand their social network.
Thank you for reading my story to the end. I really appreciate it! And now let’s make use of our superpowers!
Best regards to all of you!
Manuela
Hi guys, I am Manuela and I am 26 years old. I am not finished with “The Millionaire Fastlane “ yet but it has already changed my life. I’d rather say it changed my perspective and and as a result my perception. But there was a time before as well…
When I was little, there was a strong bond between me and my mum. I was brought up very warm-hearted. My mum picked me up from kindergarten and cooked lunch for me and my older sister. I met with my best friend almost every day. She came to our house, I went to hers. Whenever I didn't meet up with a friend, my mum, my sister and me went on bike rides or picnics at lunchtime, did handicrafts and drew paintings, or played catch on climbing frames. In the evening my dad came home from work and I was excided to see him. On weekends, as a family, we rode inline skis, fly kites or ride sleds (ofc depending of the season). I had a great childhood. Later, in elementary school it was the same. I’ve enjoyed it very much.
In 7th grade, I was a 13 year old teenager, our class got a new mate. We linked quickly. She became my best buddy and we had the best time of our lives. But one day it changed. She bullied me and I had no clue why. Other classmates avoided me and I had no clue why. I had no idea how to deal with this kind of rejection. So I withdrew and isolated myself for a pretty long time. Due to that I developed social phobia, low self-esteem and high levels of self-doubt. “I am not enough“, became my mindset (because I decided that this is reality). For a long time I was afraid of connecting with people and to experience rejection again. Furthermore, I assumed I was no longer noticed by others. All of it was a damn negative feedback loop I coundn’t break out of. Because I didn’t know how to trust anyone, I suffered in silence. A few years ago I’ve red a quote by Charles Cooley, who said, “I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am”. This absolutely represents my younger self-concept. During this time I was in a relationship. My boyfriend was my “life saver“ (continue reading to get to know what he became later on), because I had no one else. I was afraid of losing him and thus being alone again. So I started clinging to him. As the years went by (many years), I spent a lot of time alone, I often studied for school because otherwise I had little to do. My life was colorless – it was boring. There was hardly anything that inspired me. More years have passed and I took life as it was.
In 2022 I met a guy who showed me the sunny side of life. My life revealed itself to me like under a lens: I was unhappy for a very long time, unhappy about who I am, about my relationship and about the life I was going to live. I realised something had to change – I had to stand up for myself. When I decided to deal with all bad experiences from my school days and to admit fears, I began to discover a brand new me. I realized that I am much more than my past experiences. It was no longer the question “Who am I?” but “Who do I want to be?”. No longer I wanted to be a frightened and shy girl. So I started the process of becoming an independent woman. I actually wanted to live my dreams: to do whatever I want to do (no matter what time or what others say) and to explore the beauty of the world. First step was to communicate about my desires. So I told my boyfriend about my plans. When he dismissed it with, "It's just a phase", I wondered at his lack of understanding. He prevented me from thriving freely, from being the woman I wanted to be. One day I realised that there is no way to fix this relationship. In consequence, I had to break up after nearly 11 years. It was time to put myself first. It was the only way I could ever be happy.
When I broke up with my bf, my mum told me the reason for my bullying experience. She knew it for all the time (9 years!) but she kept quiet in order to “protect“ me. My former classmate and best buddy was jealous of me having a boyfriend - that’s it. The motive is so ridiculous. Curious about what happened with that bond between me and my mum…? Right, it’s not as strong as it was before. And I wonder if I can ever trust her fully again (haven’t found an answer yet).
Since the separation of my bf, I dealt a lot with my fears, but also with my needs. Then something gorgeous happened. A man came into my life. A man who listened to me. A man who carried about my fears and needs. By showing me the importance of open communication, I learned to trust him fully, regardless of my past difficulties. Later, he became my partner (and hopefully my husband-to-be). He loves me just the way I am. For the first time in my life I can be who I am even if I am going crazy. Being valued by him is an infinitely fulfilling feeling!
In the end, I am so glad I had the courage to break up with my former bf and to put myself first. It’s the most important thing to pay attention to your deepest wishes, desires, hopes and dreams. I’ve created a new mindset. Whenever something isn’t good, I take action and change status quo. Meanwhile, it’s really fun connecting with people. Addressing people proactively is still a small challenge, ‘cause I am still afraid of rejection. But that doesn’t stop me. If I get rejected, I’ll try again at another point. All in one it was such a valueable lesson! Now I know I can reach anything if I have the courage to take action.
And what does this mean for my future me? I don’t know in detail. But I know how it feels when you don’t have anyone to lean on - no support, no role model, no friends, no safe space. I can relate with all those who feel or felt similar. This empathy is one of my superpowers and I’d like to make use of it! I wanna bring people together, so they can expand their social network.
Thank you for reading my story to the end. I really appreciate it! And now let’s make use of our superpowers!
Best regards to all of you!
Manuela
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum:
Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.
