Is it possible for very rich people to hang out with poor/working class people?

[Kak]

I am going to argue that it is certainly possible, but unlikely. Studies flat out prove a canyon of belief system divide between the rich and the poor.

The problem is MINDSET... NOT MONEY.

The vast majority of the poor believe that wealth means you are lucky.

The majority of the poor believe that if it wasn't luck, it was dishonesty.

The poor believe that the rich should pay higher taxes.

The rich and the poor are interested in vastly different activities and lifestyles.

The rich adopt healthy habits more often then the poor.

The rich are disciplined and the poor are not.

The rich persue goals and the poor do not.

The rich are educated (whether self or traditionally) and the poor put less emphasis on becoming smarter.

Their ideas of a good time are vastly different.

They raise their families in vastly different ways.

They have differing hobbies.

The poor often are hostile of the rich.

The rich have an internal locus and the poor have an external locus of control.

All of this said, I have never met someone that was both happy to be poor and wanted to be friends with me. I don't blame them, because the feeling is mutual. I choose friends I can respect.

This is all notwithstanding the bootstrapping entrepreneurial minded person that is interested in and making the choices that make one wealthy, but isn't there yet. Those people already have the mindset that creates this divide.

I am not one to exclude someone because of how much money they have, but for me to put effort into a friendship with someone, I need to have respect for them in some way. It is the way I am wired. I can't force myself to like someone that makes repeatedly stupid choices and lives the life of a loser.

When you realize it is a choice, it is not a surprise why friend groups reflect similar socioeconomic and political backgrounds.

Bottom line. Choose your friend circle carefully. They can bring you up or bring you down.

MINDSET - FEATURED! - Author spent 5 years interviewing 177 selfmade millionaires to find their secrets. Findings inside.

"Corley conducted a survey by interviewing 233 wealthy people who make $160,000 or more in annual income and hold at least $3.2 million in net liquid assets (177 of whom were self-made, coming from poverty or the middle class) and 128 poor people who make less than $35,000 per year and have less...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[WestCoast]

After what @Kak said.... man...I think you can just close the thread.


I am friends with a guy who took his company public recently.
He's the nicest guy in the world, and even though he has 10000x the wealth I do, we can sit and talk for hours and hours.

But, he also doesn't suffer fools.
If you aren't on point in life, he won't make time for you.
Doesn't mean you need to be rich, but you need to be smart, clever, working on something big, passionate.
You need to have energy to live life, and make cool things happen.

Then it doesn't matter if you're worth $10k or $10M to him, he'll share all his knowledge and information.
But, if you are a complainer, or blamer, or whatever.
He'll smile, but, he'll also move on quickly.

I respect the hell out of this guy, but our mindsets match up. So, it makes sense in a way.

--
I'll add this, when I started my business, I was 22 years old. I didn't know *anything* (still don't, but that's a different thread).
I had customers who were very wealthy, and I slept at work sometimes.... getting paid $0 to $500/month.


And they loved chatting with me.
They loved talking about the hustle and grind, giving me encouragement.

I learned so much from people so much more successful than I was.
I had an open mind, I wasn't jealous, I tried hard to shut up and listen.
And, even to today, it motivates me to keep grinding, keep growing, keep pushing.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

It's fascinating to see the different opinions here!

From my experience it's broken down into 3 categories:

1. The people getting by.
2. The people who *think* they have money.
3. The people who *actually* have money.

I think "the rich are assholes" type of sayings usually come from that middle section. sMaybe they have a decent net worth. A million or two. Maybe they have a business pulling in a couple million a year and they think they are hot shit.

Most business owners know though that if you're doing a couple million in revenue in business, usually you're just getting started. That doesn't mean you have a couple million in the bank account. It means you're probably paying yourself a 100-200k/year and have more headaches (**gross generalization).

The people that I've met who have *real* money -- I'm talking hundreds of millions. They are the coolest, nicest, most down to earth people I've ever met.

I don't think you can get to that level without being really good at dealing with people (in one way, shape, or form).

I've had the chance to spend some real time with a couple of these guys and they could care less what you wear, your education, your background -- they only care about your character.

I'm certainly not at that level yet ...but even with my current position I rarely get the chance to meet people who don't want something from me/have an ulterior motive.

I can imagine it'll only get worse. And I can also imagine how nice it would feel to just sit down with someone for a meal or a drink and talk about boring every day things for once and shoot the shit.

... now writing this I can think of half a dozen examples of people from both those "categories" I made up and every single person who *actually* have money were so nice and kind and cool. Annnnnd I can think of a couple who were just assholes in that other category.

 

[Deleted50669]

I am going to argue that it is certainly possible, but unlikely. Studies flat out prove a canyon of belief system divide between the rich and the poor.

The vast majority of the poor believe that wealth means you are lucky.

The majority of the poor believe that if it wasn't luck it was dishonesty.

The poor believe that the rich should pay higher taxes.

The rich and the poor are interested in vastly different activities and lifestyles.

The rich adopt healthy habits more often then the poor.

The rich are disciplined and the poor are not.

The rich persue goals and the poor do not.

The rich are educated (whether self or traditionally) and the poor put less emphasis on becoming smarter.

Their ideas of a good time are vastly different.

They raise their families in vastly different ways.

They have differing hobbies.

The poor often are hostile of the rich.

The rich have an internal locus and the poor have an external locus of control.

All of this said, I have never met someone that was both happy to be poor and wanted to be friends with me. I don't blame them, because the feeling is mutual. I choose friends I can respect.

This is all notwithstanding the bootstrapping entrepreneurial minded person that is interested in and making the choices that make one wealthy, but isn't there yet. Those people already have the mindset that creates this divide.

I am not one to exclude someone because of how much money they have, but for me to put effort into a friendship with someone, I need to have respect for them in some way. It is the way I am wired. I can't force myself to like someone that makes repeatedly stupid choices and lives the life of a loser.

When you realize it is a choice, it is not a surprise why friend groups reflect similar socioeconomic and political backgrounds.

Bottom line. Choose your friend circle carefully. They can bring you up or bring you down.

MINDSET - FEATURED! - Author spent 5 years interviewing 177 selfmade millionaires to find their secrets. Findings inside.

"Corley conducted a survey by interviewing 233 wealthy people who make $160,000 or more in annual income and hold at least $3.2 million in net liquid assets (177 of whom were self-made, coming from poverty or the middle class) and 128 poor people who make less than $35,000 per year and have less...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

This is so true. I am a loner because I cut out the negative people in my life, but have yet to break in with positive, goal-oriented crowds. I'd rather be a loner than awash in complacency and mediocrity, though.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Wait... what Lambo do you drive right now???

No more Lambo ...

Decided to retire the crowded roads for the empty desert.

 

[WabiSabi]

I don't really care how much money someone has, fortunes are made and lost all the time. I care more about their beliefs and values, certain beliefs attract wealth (monetary and otherwise).

Trust me, you can't be friends with side walkers. They will drag you down if you don't cut them out of your life.

 

[James90]

This reminds me of a funny quote by Trump. Take it for what it as I suppose.

"Successful people love losers. Some of my best friends are losers. I go out with successful people and I come home with a headache. We’re all sitting around talking about ourselves, ‘I did this, I did that.’ If you go out with a loser, you can talk all night, go home feeling fantastic and go to sleep."

 

[James Klymus]

Well, in my experience currently being a working class person, I would say that most working class and poor people have very different goals and world views than the wealthy do.

I've worked at places like restaurants and warehouses, and I've been able to compare and contrast the mindsets I see at those jobs vs the ones I see here.

In general, people who work at those jobs talk about things like getting a stable job, 401k, health insurance, stable income, maybe getting a promotion, and buying things like a new car and a home. Another thing i've noticed is that a lot of people i've worked with are almost always high, and spend their free time drinking, doing drugs for recreation, and playing video games and consuming entertainment.

In general, entrepreneurial people talk about opportunities, how they can solve problems, how they can serve their customers, investing their money in a business, Networking, and longer term visions.

One isn't better than the other, they're just different mindsets. But these ideas are somewhat incompatible. If you were to tell the average person to invest their money into a business, They would tell you it's too risky, and they won't have any health insurance. They won't listen, they won't understand, or they wouldn't see the long term vision.

Neither person, therefore, has much in common with the other, aside from hobbies potentially. For example, people who are into cars. I've seen guys with Bugattis, Paganis, and extremely expensive hypercars talk to people who owned a modified Camaro and made under $100k a year. Maybe their views on money and work are different, but they can still relate through a common interest.

Long story short: I don't think wealthy and working class people will intermingle much, unless they have common interests and hobbies.

 

[biophase]

I think this all depends on the attitude of the rich person and the non-rich person. I think that both people need to have respect for where others are in their own lives. I have alot of friends that still do the 9 to 5. To be honest, I don't know what half of them do for a living.

You just have to be self aware.

For example, once I asked my friend if she wanted to go see a movie on a weeknight. She asked if we could go on Friday because that's when she got paid. Obviously, there's a big income divide here. I could have just said, don't worry about the ticket, I got it. But my generous offer could have been seen as pity. It's their life, they have a budget and they are sticking to it. Good for them.

If I'm with MJ, I could complain about why my Ferrari sucked and why I got an R8 instead and it would be taken at face value. But doing that within a different crowd and you sound like a bragging douchebag. So you just have to be aware of that.

 

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[SteveO]

I was excited to finally meet you in February... We should have met each other years ago, but we always went to different get togethers. After meeting you, I disagree that you are poor in attitude. You may be unnaturally gifted in being able to relate to both sides, but you do not come across like a poor man, you are a wealth of wisdom.

You come across highly competent, very humble and content. You clearly know what matters to you and what doesn't. I admire the heck out of you. The old Jeeps, RVs and DIY ability make it moreso!

From where I was standing, you were very much at home in an entrepreneurial and high achiever environment.

You might be the biggest anaomoly to the theory I just laid out, on the entire forum, and I was excited to get your perspective before you even found the thread.

Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people? They must know you have been a successful real estate investor. After all, that is literally the first thing everyone asks of one another... "What do you do?"

I am curious, how did they react when you tell them you owned apartments? How do they react when you tell them you own a golf course? In my experience the walls almost immediately go up with a poverty minded person, THEY paint a divide... In contrast, a wealth minded, ambitious person will open up and think it is cool.

The weird thing... ZERO part of me wants to put them in a position where they feel a need to paint a divide... Yet, it is such the case, that I no longer even bother trying to make my career choices less offensive to them. Nor, at this point in my life, do I believe I should have ever done that. I believe in being an entrepreneur and will give them an honest answer to their question. "Yes, I am an entrepreneur and I love what I do." The uncomfortable question almost always comes next... "Do you make a lot of money?" "Yes."

I have tons of stories to talk about from times of abundance and times of poverty and despair. I pull from this depending on the crowd.

I don't feel animosity coming from others very often. Of course there are people that don't like me but I don't care.

I like to do things. Thus, I like to hang with people that share these same interests.

Currently on a 5 day off road trip through Arizona and Sonora Mexico. Sitting in a beachside hotel as I post this.

Some in the group chose a more modest lodging in town but we all still hang together during the day. I inserted a couple photos.

Same goes with softball or my running group. I only cared about our group interaction and ability to be competitive. Never cared about what others did for a living.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people?

I played softball some years ago with lifetime job people who were always complaining about work, money, etc -- I never felt welcome or part of the group which was proven later. I was usually an afterthought for other activities, even some of the games. Im sure they weren't comfortable with the Lambo pulling up to the games or that I was too happy for their own comfort... a remember sitting in silence with no comment as someone bragged about making $80,000 a year as a pharmacy tech just because they spent 3 years in grad school and 6 figures in student loans. All you can do is nod your head and smile approval.

@SteveO was also on some of those teams, he showed up in an old rusty truck. They loved him to death ... I'm guessing because he "stayed in their lane" and he seemed like he was coming straight from his job as a janitor.

Once I took a year hiatus for some needed surgeries and recovery, I was never invited again to play.

On a side note: I never talk about my books, my business, my work (or lack of work) unless asked, which driving a Lambo usually inspires questions. I use the same approach about being vegan -- I never talk about it unless I'm asked, or accosted with ignorance.

 

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[Seamster]

I think it's hard to be friends with someone too dissimilar to you. The chart below shows mindsets, not necessarily current cash on hand. A man with $5 million might still be growing his business so he is still acting from the entrepreneur mindset most of the time. Or, I know someone who is divorced and disabled. She's cash-poor, but her credit score is over 800, no debt, and she works hard under-the-table. So, her mindset is still Working Class.

Take a look at the chart and below I'll show how my interactions with others go.



Personally, I'm in 3 of the categories: I could survive on my $1500/mo passive income so I'm technically by my own definition rich, but that's not a lot so I'm still an entrepreneur trying to build that to $4000/mo before quitting my day job that I have as a member of the working class.

Me vs Poor - believe it or not I have studied the poor (book recommendations below). How can they drive a brand-new vehicle, afford 3 dogs and 5 kids, and not pay their $100/mo share of a government subsidized rental house? I once was kind of seeing this cute girl who worked part-time. Then she got knocked up by a druggie and I stepped away. I continued the friendship to learn. She just did nothing all day except live with mom and sister to raise the baby. All on government assistance. All drunk or high by 3 pm. When she leaves the house she takes a) phone and b) charger. Nothing else. No cash. No ID. No purse. No pockets. For them life = whatever the day brings. Our conversations are about food or popular media. When she calls I don't even want to answer. But answering helps me learn.

Me vs Working Class - I can safely say that my ambitions to be rich and time devoted to hard work has lost me friends. After my day job 9-5 weekdays, I might go paint or fix a fence. I'm home by 11 pm just in time for beer and a little TV. What have they done all day after work? YouTube. Xbox. We can't talk about cars because they want Teslas or BMWs. They have $0 in the bank and drive those cars whereas I have plenty of savings and drive a $1000 car. They talk about granite countertops in their $250k houses with $2000 mortgage payments; I talk about scraping the gunk off my 50 year old countertops in my rentals and my $500 apartment rent. They have kids and dogs and jetskis. I have none of this. They say, "you care too much about money" although we're all sitting at the same 9-5 for the purpose of making money.

Me vs Rich - I know some people with $1 million net worth or more. But, intimately, I only know millionaire couples who have worked hard and saved for 20 years. The conversation is fine, but I can't comment too much because they're all 20 years older than me.

Me vs Entrepreneurs - I can really only be friends with people who want to talk about investing, real estate, cell phone app creation, etc. You know how someone might feel jealous if you saw a guy who was more handsome, more muscular, taller, and richer than you? Well, entrepreneurs don't feel this way. They learn from each other.



A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby K. Payne
No Shame in My Game: The Working Poor in the Inner City by Katherine Newman

 

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[Oden]

The thread title might sound a bit simplified.

I myself don't care what others earn, and I don't care for expensive things just because they are expensive. I.e I couldn't care less about what type of brand a watch or car is. I'm far from shallow when it comes to people I surround myself with.

But when I think about very, very wealthy people, I wonder if it's possible for them to have a group of friends that are not. People that work in a warehouse, in telemarketing and so on.

When I say rich, I mean the ones that have so much money that they most likely would have to invest in a house that is more secure, and a car that is way above average. At least in my country, in Europe, you wouldn't be able to hide your wealth, because it's possible to see what others earn and it would be a security risk.

I know it's possible to wear sweatpants and still be a millionaire. But at least around here, people would still know that a person has that kind of wealth. He's not just rich, but he's wealthy.

And I think most people would like to buy a very nice house, a cool and fast car and maybe travel a bit more than others, if they had that kind of wealth.

So, my question is - would it actually be possible to socialize with people from the working class, when you are in this position?

You'd still share some interests, still have the same humour - but I would think that the huge difference in wealth and freedom would create a barrier between that wealthy person and the working class people. I imagine they would behave differently and feel differently, in a negative way. Either by being envious, sucking up or trying to exploit the situation in some way.

I just remember when I was around 17-18 (living in a poor area) one of my mates received an ok amount of money from the government. All of the sudden, people that we knew started calling him more and wanting to hang out with him more. It was absurd to see. The way people changed around him was crazy.

I still see the same type of behaviour as an adult, when a celebrity or a very rich person comes around. "Regular people "(I'm a "regular person", but not this kind) loses it. They change completely. Not just for a day or an hour, but for weeks and months. Any time that person is around they change their behaviour and manners.

Again, when I was a teenager I got some fame locally. I could then see how people flipped as well. My closest ones didn't (apart from a few), but people that barely said hello before, all of the sudden wanted to buy me pints, have my number and so on.

So, in general, is it possible for a filthy rich person to have a close social group that consists of working class people? I'm not talking about meeting your old friends once a year at the pub, but having regular meet-up with the lads.

Note: I'm not rich and I have a working class background. So this is not meant to bash on anyone.

 

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[Kak]

This is all so true. It is not me though. I grew up poor and remain such in attitude.

I was excited to finally meet you in February... We should have met each other years ago, but we always went to different get togethers. After meeting you, I disagree that you are poor in attitude. You may be unnaturally gifted in being able to relate to both sides, but you do not come across like a poor man, you are a wealth of wisdom.

You come across highly competent, very humble and content. You clearly know what matters to you and what doesn't. I admire the heck out of you. The old Jeeps, RVs and DIY ability make it moreso!

From where I was standing, you were very much at home in an entrepreneurial and high achiever environment.

You might be the biggest anaomoly to the theory I just laid out, on the entire forum, and I was excited to get your perspective before you even found the thread.

Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people? They must know you have been a successful real estate investor. After all, that is literally the first thing everyone asks of one another... "What do you do?"

I am curious, how did they react when you tell them you owned apartments? How do they react when you tell them you own a golf course? In my experience the walls almost immediately go up with a poverty minded person, THEY paint a divide... In contrast, a wealth minded, ambitious person will open up and think it is cool.

The weird thing... ZERO part of me wants to put them in a position where they feel a need to paint a divide... Yet, it is such the case, that I no longer even bother trying to make my career choices less offensive to them. Nor, at this point in my life, do I believe I should have ever done that. I believe in being an entrepreneur and will give them an honest answer to their question. "Yes, I am an entrepreneur and I love what I do." The uncomfortable question almost always comes next... "Do you make a lot of money?" "Yes."

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

In my opinion and in my experience, a "rich" person who can hang out with and be friends with "non-rich" people generally is a healthier and happier person. (I'm sure this depends - I don't know any billionaires. I know people who are worth 7, 8 figures but probably not more than that.)

A "poor" (I hate saying poor because many people call themselves poor even though they are NOT poor) person who can befriend and hang out with someone more materially successful than them without envy, jealousy, or hate is also on the fast track to being successful themselves.

I think about this a lot and I think it's really important as a "fastlaner." You should be comfortable with people ahead of you and people who are on their way. Talk to both. Learn from both. They can all teach you something.

LEARN from people. I've met so many folks who are actually poor who, when talking to a business owner about their business, will not SHUT UP and listen. Like... they know more about business than they do? Really? Same with guys who have big paychecks and act all high and mighty and ignore wisdom from people without money.

 

[JordanK]

If you want to be friends with anyone then just add value to their life. It's that simple?

As an example, I'm 22 and have a 'small' real estate business. I hang out with 50+ year olds in the industry who are very wealthy and also have a wealth of knowledge.

I'll go out on a Saturday morning to help them solve an issue at a rental property or handle some of their calls when they go away for a week or two on holiday with the family. I'll also jump on a phone call with them at 11pm at night to hear about a great deal they just landed and the inner workings of how it came to be. In most cases, their wives don't really care about their business.. the kids may or may not.. but as you all know as entrepreneurs its a significant part of our lives and we all love to share our wins and mull over our loses at times.

They know I'm super interested in what they are doing. I ask the right questions and challenge them on an intellectual level. Isn't that what we all really want out of our friends? To be interested in common things, to be happy for each others success, to enjoy each others company and to offer support/guidance when things aren't fully going to plan.

I have a lot of mentors but I think when people go looking 'to find a mentor' they approach it from completely the wrong angle. All of my mentors since I started down the entrepreneurial path few years back are people who I first admired greatly, then I became friends with and we both genuinely cared about each others lives/success. I have never asked anyone to 'be my mentor', if I'm having a problem that I need support or direction on I'll pick up the phone and ask my friend what he would do in a similar situation. Often times they do the same with me as I'm more hands on so I have 'my ear to the ground' (Irish expression for knowing whats happening in the real world vs a behind a desk/internet sources) in whats happening locally. Or I'll run an errand for them, do some basic repairs when the handymen aren't available etc for free and immediately.

There is no better way to learn than to help solve the problems of people who are 20-40 years ahead of you on a similar journey.

 

[WildFlower]

A dating book I read a long time ago said if you want to meet a doctor then hang out where the doctors do after they get off work.. the bar next door or what ever. So find out where the "rich" people hang out and go there. Some of them are on boards of non-profits. It's really just networking.

 

[Kevin88660]

The thread title might sound a bit simplified.

I myself don't care what others earn, and I don't care for expensive things just because they are expensive. I.e I couldn't care less about what type of brand a watch or car is. I'm far from shallow when it comes to people I surround myself with.

But when I think about very, very wealthy people, I wonder if it's possible for them to have a group of friends that are not. People that work in a warehouse, in telemarketing and so on.

When I say rich, I mean the ones that have so much money that they most likely would have to invest in a house that is more secure, and a car that is way above average. At least in my country, in Europe, you wouldn't be able to hide your wealth, because it's possible to see what others earn and it would be a security risk.

I know it's possible to wear sweatpants and still be a millionaire. But at least around here, people would still know that a person has that kind of wealth. He's not just rich, but he's wealthy.

And I think most people would like to buy a very nice house, a cool and fast car and maybe travel a bit more than others, if they had that kind of wealth.

So, my question is - would it actually be possible to socialize with people from the working class, when you are in this position?

You'd still share some interests, still have the same humour - but I would think that the huge difference in wealth and freedom would create a barrier between that wealthy person and the working class people. I imagine they would behave differently and feel differently, in a negative way. Either by being envious, sucking up or trying to exploit the situation in some way.

I just remember when I was around 17-18 (living in a poor area) one of my mates received an ok amount of money from the government. All of the sudden, people that we knew started calling him more and wanting to hang out with him more. It was absurd to see. The way people changed around him was crazy.

I still see the same type of behaviour as an adult, when a celebrity or a very rich person comes around. "Regular people "(I'm a "regular person", but not this kind) loses it. They change completely. Not just for a day or an hour, but for weeks and months. Any time that person is around they change their behaviour and manners.

Again, when I was a teenager I got some fame locally. I could then see how people flipped as well. My closest ones didn't (apart from a few), but people that barely said hello before, all of the sudden wanted to buy me pints, have my number and so on.

So, in general, is it possible for a filthy rich person to have a close social group that consists of working class people? I'm not talking about meeting your old friends once a year at the pub, but having regular meet-up with the lads.

Note: I'm not rich and I have a working class background. So this is not meant to bash on anyone.

In theory yes. As long as you can provide value and be useful.

Rich people hang out with rich people not because they want to be with “equals” but more often than not it is because there is networking value to help then solves their problems and become even be richer. Think about a bunch of businessmen attending a mba course. It is not about learning but more about knowing the people.

It is about what resources you have at hand and what you offer to solve their dire needs or interest. And yes you do not have to be rich.

One of the easy entry point is offer digital assistance to small business operated by baby boomers. That is the fastest way you can build relationship with a niche of rich people. Helping the Uncle Goldbug to open a Binance account also counts.

You actually do have something that rich people do not have and are willing to learn. Helping people to make more money is coming from a position of strength that will pull people into you. No body thinks they have enough money.

There is a generational wealth gap that exists and also a generational skill gap that exists. You may be surprised that some rich people will be grateful to you for doing what any 16 year old could do.

 

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[Jon L]

It's fascinating to see the different opinions here!

From my experience it's broken down into 3 categories:

1. The people getting by.
2. The people who *think* they have money.
3. The people who *actually* have money.

I think "the rich are assholes" type of sayings usually come from that middle section. sMaybe they have a decent net worth. A million or two. Maybe they have a business pulling in a couple million a year and they think they are hot shit.

Most business owners know though that if you're doing a couple million in revenue in business, usually you're just getting started. That doesn't mean you have a couple million in the bank account. It means you're probably paying yourself a 100-200k/year and have more headaches (**gross generalization).

The people that I've met who have *real* money -- I'm talking hundreds of millions. They are the coolest, nicest, most down to earth people I've ever met.

I don't think you can get to that level without being really good at dealing with people (in one way, shape, or form).

I've had the chance to spend some real time with a couple of these guys and they could care less what you wear, your education, your background -- they only care about your character.

I'm certainly not at that level yet ...but even with my current position I rarely get the chance to meet people who don't want something from me/have an ulterior motive.

I can imagine it'll only get worse. And I can also imagine how nice it would feel to just sit down with someone for a meal or a drink and talk about boring every day things for once and shoot the shit.

... now writing this I can think of half a dozen examples of people from both those "categories" I made up and every single person who *actually* have money were so nice and kind and cool. Annnnnd I can think of a couple who were just assholes in that other category.

I agree with this. The people I know that have made a pile of money are the easiest-going, friendliest, most encouraging, talk about anything kind of people. Its interesting, though, that when you get them into their area of expertise, they're incredibly sharp. They cut straight to the key points, can spot BS a mile away, know what they like, ask insightful questions, etc. They also spend money wisely. They'll not hesitate to spend large sums when it makes sense, but they'll also question a $30/month add-on charge when it doesn't make sense.

 

[WJK]

I think this all depends on the attitude of the rich person and the non-rich person. I think that both people need to have respect for where others are in their own lives. I have alot of friends that still do the 9 to 5. To be honest, I don't know what half of them do for a living.

You just have to be self aware.

For example, once I asked my friend if she wanted to go see a movie on a weeknight. She asked if we could go on Friday because that's when she got paid. Obviously, there's a big income divide here. I could have just said, don't worry about the ticket, I got it. But my generous offer could have been seen as pity. It's their life, they have a budget and they are sticking to it. Good for them.

If I'm with MJ, I could complain about why my Ferrari sucked and why I got an R8 instead and it would be taken at face value. But doing that within a different crowd and you sound like a bragging douchebag. So you just have to be aware of that.

Each level has its own challenges. My dad used to tell me about the second grader versus his older brother, the seventh grader. The second grader thinks that his older brother has it made. He gets all the privileges and rights that go with being older. The older brother thinks that his younger brother has it easier because the second grade school work is elementary and he's treated more like a baby. The younger brother is not expected to be as responsible. Neither brother can see the other's challenges.

The differences between the "haves" and "have-nots" is similar. The challenges are so different, and so are mindsets. Even the "boot-strap" guy who has clawed his way up the business mountain, many times can no longer relate to people left in his dust. Over time, he's had to completely change his view of the world. Like the seventh grader, he forgets how hard the lessons were for him when he was on the second grade level - the beginner's level. From the top of his mountain, those lessons look down right easy. And beginner in business doesn't even recognize the challenges of the guy at the top of the heap. All he can see are the rewards and the perks. It's hard to have a meaningful conversation that lacks basic points of understanding.

 

[SteveO]

I was excited to finally meet you in February... We should have met each other years ago, but we always went to different get togethers. After meeting you, I disagree that you are poor in attitude. You may be unnaturally gifted in being able to relate to both sides, but you do not come across like a poor man, you are a wealth of wisdom.

You come across highly competent, very humble and content. You clearly know what matters to you and what doesn't. I admire the heck out of you. The old Jeeps, RVs and DIY ability make it moreso!

From where I was standing, you were very much at home in an entrepreneurial and high achiever environment.

You might be the biggest anaomoly to the theory I just laid out, on the entire forum, and I was excited to get your perspective before you even found the thread.

Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people? They must know you have been a successful real estate investor. After all, that is literally the first thing everyone asks of one another... "What do you do?"

I am curious, how did they react when you tell them you owned apartments? How do they react when you tell them you own a golf course? In my experience the walls almost immediately go up with a poverty minded person, THEY paint a divide... In contrast, a wealth minded, ambitious person will open up and think it is cool.

The weird thing... ZERO part of me wants to put them in a position where they feel a need to paint a divide... Yet, it is such the case, that I no longer even bother trying to make my career choices less offensive to them. Nor, at this point in my life, do I believe I should have ever done that. I believe in being an entrepreneur and will give them an honest answer to their question. "Yes, I am an entrepreneur and I love what I do." The uncomfortable question almost always comes next... "Do you make a lot of money?" "Yes."

Btw... thanks for the glowing statements about me and my traits. Not 100% accurate but appreciated.

I am at my highest comfort level at our fastlane meetups. The freedom to express ourselves in that environment is incredible.

As for daily interaction, @biophase and @MJ DeMarco can tell you more about my traits although they probably won't. My wife likes to comment "there goes steveo making friends again" as I'm in the middle of a tough interaction.

I once got an entire softball team kicked off the field that involved the police and threats against me. They were jackasses and I let them know repeatedly. Since I was pitching, they kept trying to hit me with the ball. One of them took a swing at me when I tagged them out.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

ust ask, what position did you have @MJ DeMarco play @SteveO ??

I played every position, most comfortable in outfield, did a lot of pitching when Steve couldn't make it.

My worst position was third-base, I didn't have an accurate or a speedy throw.

SteveO was always the pitcher ... who incidentally, had the yips on throws to first base. He'd underhand it, roll it, kick it, anything but a normal throw! Odd, because he was pretty darn accurate pitcher to home plate, not first base. LOL.

 

[justindircksen]

I am going to argue that it is certainly possible, but unlikely. Studies flat out prove a canyon of belief system divide between the rich and the poor.

The problem is MINDSET... NOT MONEY.

The vast majority of the poor believe that wealth means you are lucky.

The majority of the poor believe that if it wasn't luck, it was dishonesty.

The poor believe that the rich should pay higher taxes.

The rich and the poor are interested in vastly different activities and lifestyles.

The rich adopt healthy habits more often then the poor.

The rich are disciplined and the poor are not.

The rich persue goals and the poor do not.

The rich are educated (whether self or traditionally) and the poor put less emphasis on becoming smarter.

Their ideas of a good time are vastly different.

They raise their families in vastly different ways.

They have differing hobbies.

The poor often are hostile of the rich.

The rich have an internal locus and the poor have an external locus of control.

All of this said, I have never met someone that was both happy to be poor and wanted to be friends with me. I don't blame them, because the feeling is mutual. I choose friends I can respect.

This is all notwithstanding the bootstrapping entrepreneurial minded person that is interested in and making the choices that make one wealthy, but isn't there yet. Those people already have the mindset that creates this divide.

I am not one to exclude someone because of how much money they have, but for me to put effort into a friendship with someone, I need to have respect for them in some way. It is the way I am wired. I can't force myself to like someone that makes repeatedly stupid choices and lives the life of a loser.

When you realize it is a choice, it is not a surprise why friend groups reflect similar socioeconomic and political backgrounds.

Bottom line. Choose your friend circle carefully. They can bring you up or bring you down.

MINDSET - FEATURED! - Author spent 5 years interviewing 177 selfmade millionaires to find their secrets. Findings inside.

"Corley conducted a survey by interviewing 233 wealthy people who make $160,000 or more in annual income and hold at least $3.2 million in net liquid assets (177 of whom were self-made, coming from poverty or the middle class) and 128 poor people who make less than $35,000 per year and have less...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

Absolutely agree with you!!
That being said... I am a truck driver. I have lots of windshield time. In the last year I have listened to about 80 audiobooks and as I look on my audible app... 26 days, 2 hours, and 28 minutes of listening time. Plus podcasts, plus kindle, plus actual books, plus a cool forum, etc. Needless to say, I’m learning. My mindset is and has changed. But unless I tell you this, by looking at me today, you wouldn’t know it. I live in basically a shit apartment, I have an average car, and I haven’t started any business (yet).
Here’s my question, Why would you want to be friends with me?
I understand you have to be able to respect a person. You have to choose your circle of friends wisely. You want to hang out with people smarter than you, that already have what you want. You have to reach up to bigger and better. OK I GET IT. But that means somebody has to reach down. Who wants to reach down?
Value. What value do I bring? None. Ive read a book, big deal.
I’m a flatbed truck driver that doesn’t have a network and doesn’t know where to socialize, oh wait, those days are over.
Wanna be friends??

 

[Kasimir]

Good question. With the right people, it's possible. The rich person and the working class people have to put money on the side and just see that we're all human.

A have a little older friend who perfected your topic. He retired with 23 or 24 but he is just like anyone else.

But I wouldn't recommend trying to be that guy. It's difficult and people with a similar mindset can help you improve.

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

The thread title might sound a bit simplified.

I myself don't care what others earn, and I don't care for expensive things just because they are expensive. I.e I couldn't care less about what type of brand a watch or car is. I'm far from shallow when it comes to people I surround myself with.

But when I think about very, very wealthy people, I wonder if it's possible for them to have a group of friends that are not. People that work in a warehouse, in telemarketing and so on.

When I say rich, I mean the ones that have so much money that they most likely would have to invest in a house that is more secure, and a car that is way above average. At least in my country, in Europe, you wouldn't be able to hide your wealth, because it's possible to see what others earn and it would be a security risk.

I know it's possible to wear sweatpants and still be a millionaire. But at least around here, people would still know that a person has that kind of wealth. He's not just rich, but he's wealthy.

And I think most people would like to buy a very nice house, a cool and fast car and maybe travel a bit more than others, if they had that kind of wealth.

So, my question is - would it actually be possible to socialize with people from the working class, when you are in this position?

You'd still share some interests, still have the same humour - but I would think that the huge difference in wealth and freedom would create a barrier between that wealthy person and the working class people. I imagine they would behave differently and feel differently, in a negative way. Either by being envious, sucking up or trying to exploit the situation in some way.

I just remember when I was around 17-18 (living in a poor area) one of my mates received an ok amount of money from the government. All of the sudden, people that we knew started calling him more and wanting to hang out with him more. It was absurd to see. The way people changed around him was crazy.

I still see the same type of behaviour as an adult, when a celebrity or a very rich person comes around. "Regular people "(I'm a "regular person", but not this kind) loses it. They change completely. Not just for a day or an hour, but for weeks and months. Any time that person is around they change their behaviour and manners.

Again, when I was a teenager I got some fame locally. I could then see how people flipped as well. My closest ones didn't (apart from a few), but people that barely said hello before, all of the sudden wanted to buy me pints, have my number and so on.

So, in general, is it possible for a filthy rich person to have a close social group that consists of working class people? I'm not talking about meeting your old friends once a year at the pub, but having regular meet-up with the lads.

Note: I'm not rich and I have a working class background. So this is not meant to bash on anyone.

Yes, if the rich person isn’t a douche about it and the working class person isn’t too consumed with envy.

Takes two people to form any kind of human relationship. All you can do is be the giver, and see if the other person meets you in the middle.

 

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[Deleted78083]

Sociologically it's unlikely.

People hang out with similar people because humans bond over shared experiences.

This is why it is not surprising to see that successful people knew successful people before they became successful. What is alike attracts each other.

This is also why you lose most of your friends when you start personal development and are getting results. Your friends won't like new you as you won't be able to relate to each other anymore.

Mediocrity lives among mediocrity. Wealth lives among wealth. Success lives among success.

Since success is rarer than mediocrity, successful people (especially artists) will often tell you how lonely they feel. There aren't many people they can relate to. And the more successful, the lonelier.

 

[biophase]

This is all so true. It is not me though. I grew up poor and remain such in attitude.

This is true, SteveO hung out with me when I was poor.

 

[MoneyDoc]

No more Lambo ...

Decided to retire the crowded roads for the empty desert.

View attachment 35865

If I ever get a truck, it would be a Raptor.

My friend has one and they are just amazing in every way.

 

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[Kak]

Absolutely agree with you!!
That being said... I am a truck driver. I have lots of windshield time. In the last year I have listened to about 80 audiobooks and as I look on my audible app... 26 days, 2 hours, and 28 minutes of listening time. Plus podcasts, plus kindle, plus actual books, plus a cool forum, etc. Needless to say, I’m learning. My mindset is and has changed. But unless I tell you this, by looking at me today, you wouldn’t know it. I live in basically a shit apartment, I have an average car, and I haven’t started any business (yet).
Here’s my question, Why would you want to be friends with me?
I understand you have to be able to respect a person. You have to choose your circle of friends wisely. You want to hang out with people smarter than you, that already have what you want. You have to reach up to bigger and better. OK I GET IT. But that means somebody has to reach down. Who wants to reach down?
Value. What value do I bring? None. Ive read a book, big deal.
I’m a flatbed truck driver that doesn’t have a network and doesn’t know where to socialize, oh wait, those days are over.
Wanna be friends??

Sure! I respect the hustle tremendously! Your book stats are off the freaking charts. You should be proud of that. That is a hell of a lot more reading than I currently do.

You also wrote an intelligent post, and based on what you just posted here, you clearly aren't the type to be hostile of someone that expects more out of life than a 9-5 and complaining over beers on Friday.

Like I said, respect is the difference for me. I respect you doing what you need to do to be an entrepreneur.

Don't conflate needing to respect someone to be friends with them with needing to somehow get something out of them. That is social climber weirdo stuff.

If you're serious, shoot me a direct message. Let's chat!

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

Absolutely agree with you!!
That being said... I am a truck driver. I have lots of windshield time. In the last year I have listened to about 80 audiobooks and as I look on my audible app... 26 days, 2 hours, and 28 minutes of listening time. Plus podcasts, plus kindle, plus actual books, plus a cool forum, etc. Needless to say, I’m learning. My mindset is and has changed. But unless I tell you this, by looking at me today, you wouldn’t know it. I live in basically a shit apartment, I have an average car, and I haven’t started any business (yet).
Here’s my question, Why would you want to be friends with me?
I understand you have to be able to respect a person. You have to choose your circle of friends wisely. You want to hang out with people smarter than you, that already have what you want. You have to reach up to bigger and better. OK I GET IT. But that means somebody has to reach down. Who wants to reach down?
Value. What value do I bring? None. Ive read a book, big deal.
I’m a flatbed truck driver that doesn’t have a network and doesn’t know where to socialize, oh wait, those days are over.
Wanna be friends??

This is exactly what I was saying earlier!
I bet you could teach everyone in this forum a lot about trucking, the industry, the “load board” (I think that’s a thing?), how shipments are handled, etc.

Not to mention finding common ground in, I don’t know, hobbies and things unrelated to business

oh and other fastlane opportunities, like car washes for 18 wheelers (they’re still pretty rare), weighing stations, all sorts of products that make the life of a truck driver better or easier, parts and technical information, I can go on...

Everyone has something to offer!!!
You can learn something from everyone.

 

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