Who's Really There for You? Why You Shouldn't Let Others Hold You Back From Doing What You Want

[MTF]

Traveling makes me feel a thirst for life.

But I used to limit it because I didn’t want to spend too much time away from my family.

When I eventually became semi-suicidal, stuck in a dreary, stagnant environment in my native country of Poland, I decided that it was time to prioritize my own needs and stay abroad as long as I wanted to.

Almost instantly after landing in my first destination, Perth, I felt as if someone had taken off a gigantic weight off my shoulders.

I was so ecstatic I was full of energy even with a jet lag, sleeping just 5 hours each night (while usually I don’t feel good even after getting 10 hours of sleep in Poland).

The weather, the colors, the people, the wildlife, the atmosphere. It was intoxicating. I was cured of my affliction.

To this day when I listen to the songs I listened to back then I get filled with energy.

Over weeks of my travels, both I as well as my girlfriend realized that our families (and friends) don’t really care much about our travels, regardless of what kind of epic things we do. They’re more interested in what their pets or neighbors are doing.

And it’s not as if I’m that guy who keeps pestering his friends and family with hundreds of travel pictures. I would send a few carefully-selected pictures and a 20-second video or two a week. Even that didn’t garner more than one sentence of a response. Not much interest, even if I asked about their lives and wanted to stay on top of what they were doing.

Only a handful of people stayed in touch and so I shifted my focus to these relationships.

But this isn’t me crying about a lack of attention. Far from it. I accept and respect that people have their own lives and they don’t owe me anything.

I’m not traveling to gain anyone’s approval. I’m not doing it to have others tell me how incredible I am. And I’m definitely not posting this to vent.

Rather, I’m posting this thread for people who used to be like me, postponing their dreams because they’re afraid they would hurt or offend some family member or lose a friend.

It doesn’t take long to see who’s invested in your life and who isn’t.

Leave your city for a month. See who’s going to stay in touch with you and who won’t express much interest in what you’re doing.

If your friends only show interest in you when you’re in the same location, are they really your loyal friends?

If your family members can’t share the joy you have when fulfilling your dreams, do you really need to live where they live?

Ask yourself if the people for whom you’re sacrificing your life would do the same for you. If they can’t take the time to talk with you when you’re away, it’s possible they don’t prioritize the relationship as much as you do.

I’m a nice guy who always puts the needs of others above himself. Inevitably, it leads to dissatisfaction, frustration, and over the long term, depression.

My trip has showed me that first it’s you who needs to be happy. If you’re only capable of being happy away from your friends and family, then that’s okay. They should live their own lives and you should live yours.

 

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[Albert KOUADJA]

Traveling makes me feel a thirst for life.

But I used to limit it because I didn’t want to spend too much time away from my family.

When I eventually became semi-suicidal, stuck in a dreary, stagnant environment in my native country of Poland, I decided that it was time to prioritize my own needs and stay abroad as long as I wanted to.

Almost instantly after landing in my first destination, Perth, I felt as if someone had taken off a gigantic weight off my shoulders.

I was so ecstatic I was full of energy even with a jet lag, sleeping just 5 hours each night (while usually I don’t feel good even after getting 10 hours of sleep in Poland).

The weather, the colors, the people, the wildlife, the atmosphere. It was intoxicating. I was cured of my affliction.

To this day when I listen to the songs I listened to back then I get filled with energy.

Over weeks of my travels, both I as well as my girlfriend realized that our families (and friends) don’t really care much about our travels, regardless of what kind of epic things we do. They’re more interested in what their pets or neighbors are doing.

And it’s not as if I’m that guy who keeps pestering his friends and family with hundreds of travel pictures. I would send a few carefully-selected pictures and a 20-second video or two a week. Even that didn’t garner more than one sentence of a response. Not much interest, even if I asked about their lives and wanted to stay on top of what they were doing.

Only a handful of people stayed in touch and so I shifted my focus to these relationships.

But this isn’t me crying about a lack of attention. Far from it. I accept and respect that people have their own lives and they don’t owe me anything.

I’m not traveling to gain anyone’s approval. I’m not doing it to have others tell me how incredible I am. And I’m definitely not posting this to vent.

Rather, I’m posting this thread for people who used to be like me, postponing their dreams because they’re afraid they would hurt or offend some family member or lose a friend.

It doesn’t take long to see who’s invested in your life and who isn’t.

Leave your city for a month. See who’s going to stay in touch with you and who won’t express much interest in what you’re doing.

If your friends only show interest in you when you’re in the same location, are they really your loyal friends?

If your family members can’t share the joy you have when fulfilling your dreams, do you really need to live where they live?

Ask yourself if the people for whom you’re sacrificing your life would do the same for you. If they can’t take the time to talk with you when you’re away, it’s possible they don’t prioritize the relationship as much as you do.

I’m a nice guy who always puts the needs of others above himself. Inevitably, it leads to dissatisfaction, frustration, and over the long term, depression.

My trip has showed me that first it’s you who needs to be happy. If you’re only capable of being happy away from your friends and family, then that’s okay. They should live their own lives and you should live yours.

It's easy to say all this when you have the ability. If you're someone like me who is looking to invest in a business and has trouble eating regularly, you wouldn't have thoughts like these.

 

[heavy_industry]

Welcome back @MTF
I missed your posts!

My trip has showed me that first it’s you who needs to be happy.

That was exactly what I was about to comment, but I've seen you've already written it in the conclusion.

The only way to be able to bring joy into this world is to first create it within yourself. When you live a life of purpose you become like a beacon of light in this world.

Always fix yourself before trying to fix other people. You can't guide others on the right path if you are lost as well.

It's easy to say all this when you have the ability.

You also have the ability. You always have a choice.

But sometimes is more convenient and comfortable to pretend otherwise.

 

[Albert KOUADJA]

You also have the ability. You always have a choice.

But sometimes is more convenient and comfortable to pretend otherwise.

how ??? What do you mean by that ?

 

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[DMass]

Great post @MTF.

I've come to realise that people who you think are your friends are often not. They don't want you to grow, they don't want you become different, they dont want you to succeed.

What they really want is for you to stay the same as them, so that they can validate their life.

Here are a couple of examples "Dont give up alcohol, you won't be fun anymore and we won't hang out as much", "Don't work so hard, relax a bit, come out for a few beers so we can moan about the world together and how it lacks opportunities", "Don't be stupid, theres no way people like us can become millionaires and live the lives we dream of, it isn't for guys like us".

Every time one of your friends says something like the above remember the saying... "Misery loves company"... It's so much easier to bitch, complain and whine when others chip in too.

Circling back to @MTFs original point, these guys don't really want you to become successful. They say they do but you know from their actions that they don't. That's why they are not interested in what your doing, what your plans are, or what they can do to help.

If you succeed then it shows them that it can be done and they are lazy, unmotivated losers who have the ability to change their lives but don't. They have no one else to blame but themselves.

People don't like being proven wrong and having to challenge their status quo.

This is your life, not theirs, push on, push hard, and enjoy the journey. F*ck everyone else!

 

[heavy_industry]

how ??? What do you mean by that ?

In life you get to choose exactly what you want to do.

This is your fundamental freedom as a human being.

Whenever you say "I can't do that because...", what you actually mean is that you do not want to do it. You're choosing the perceived better alternative, and then you justify your choice by saying that "you can't".

• I can't start a business because I don't have time / experience / an idea etc.
• I can't exercise because I'm tired.
• I can't eat healthy because healthy food is too expensive.

In life you will either find a way, or you will find an excuse.

Actions always express priorities.

You're free to make your own choices, but never lie to yourself telling that you can't, when the truth is that you don't want.

 

[Albert KOUADJA]

• Je ne peux pas démarrer une entreprise parce que je n'ai pas le temps / l'expérience / une idée, etc.
• Je ne peux pas faire de sport car je suis fatigué.
• Je ne peux pas manger sainement parce que la nourriture saine coûte trop cher.

Dans la vie, soit vous trouverez un moyen, soit vous trouverez une excuse.

Les actions expriment toujours des priorités.

Vous êtes libre de faire vos propres choix, mais ne vous mentez jamais en disant que vous ne pouvez pas , alors que la vérité est que vous ne voulez pas .

I completely understand you in this context. This can't wait, it has to be done without apologies.

But spending money on travel while broke..no. I want but I can't.

If you were a broke man, would you rather invest in a business that will bring income in the long term or would you rather invest in travel or or other things such as alcohol, drink... ?

 

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[heavy_industry]

If you were a broke man, would you rather invest in a business that will bring income in the long term or would you rather invest in travel

Of course the bulk of the money should go into business, rather than the vacation budget. But this is true for all entrepreneurs, not only those just starting out.

Good luck in your ventures!

or other things such as alcohol, drink... ?

That is not a good investment.

 

[Saad Khan]

Welcome back @MTF. I think this quote also fits the context:

"People don't want the best version of you, they want the version of you that serves them best.:

 

[Guest050x2]

People: please read this 100x over and apply it to your life.

I spent most of my childhood wanting to move out of IL, but at 18, I didn't because of a girlfriend, some "friends," and my family. Despite being miserable in IL, I stayed. Could've lived in Arizona, Florida, and a handful of others. But I was always terrified to leave everyone behind.

And now? I'm still in Illinois, but I'm no longer with that girlfriend, haven't spoken to any of those friends in years now, and my family is broken after my narcissistic, crackhead uncle drove everyone away years ago.

Just leave. Do what's best for you and leave. If you want to, of course.

The fact is most of those people will not be in your life 5-10 years from now. And the people that truly love you and care about you will make a relationship work, even if you're on the other side of the country.

I was so terrified of leaving everyone behind, I didn't notice they were leaving me behind.

 

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[Albert KOUADJA]

People: please read this 100x over and apply it to your life.

I spent most of my childhood wanting to move out of IL, but at 18, I didn't because of a girlfriend, some "friends," and my family. Despite being miserable in IL, I stayed. Could've lived in Arizona, Florida, and a handful of others. But I was always terrified to leave everyone behind.

And now? I'm still in Illinois, but I'm no longer with that girlfriend, haven't spoken to any of those friends in years now, and my family is broken after my narcissistic, crackhead uncle drove everyone away years ago.

Just leave. Do what's best for you and leave. If you want to, of course.

The fact is most of those people will not be in your life 5-10 years from now. And the people that truly love you and care about you will make a relationship work, even if you're on the other side of the country.

I was so terrified of leaving everyone behind, I didn't notice they were leaving me behind.

I'm not afraid of losing something, or losing someone. Besides, I live far from my parents, my family and am the only one responsible for my life so what would I be afraid of? Friends that I made through the benches of the school, the street or who else? Absolutely nothing.

To travel, the money I will need to raise will exceed the money I need to start my business (passport and travel expenses). For this reason travel is ranked in the last list of my priorities. But if earlier I found the opportunity to travel I would. Otherwise I don't want to travel illegally in a country, continent, and be homeless. We say to take risks but measured risks.

If anyone has the ability to do this like @MTF, I strongly advise them to do this without fear of anything. Me personally, I always like to embrace the unknown to see how far it will take me. If things go as planned, I'm more happy, otherwise I'm far from regretting not having tried.

Do it if it makes you happy and not because other people do it.

 

[MTF]

It's easy to say all this when you have the ability. If you're someone like me who is looking to invest in a business and has trouble eating regularly, you wouldn't have thoughts like these.

Be careful when saying or thinking things like "it's easy to say this when you're x." This automatically puts you into the role of a victim and the person in question as someone above you (which is not true).

I made a post about this recently as well:

MINDSET - Rely On Your Own Strength Instead of Somebody Else’s Compassion

On a recent flight, I decided to re-read some old documents and reviewed the Boron Letters by Gary Halbert. One thought in particular that caught my attention was: The first thing I want to say is that a fat, sloppy or skinny and weak body tends to broadcast to the world that the owner of that...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

Also, I'm posting this as a person who can afford it, yeah. But the quick back story is the following:

• I didn't travel abroad until I was almost 20 and before that, rarely traveled ever, even in my country. My parents were too poor for that.
• I lived in Mexico for 3 months when I was 21, mostly off my savings. I got broke there while trying to make money freelancing and had to borrow money to go back home.
• I vowed to keep working and not travel until I could easily afford it without it impacting my business. Many times I was very close to going bankrupt. I had to borrow money to pay social security so that I could keep running my business (without expensive mandatory social security you can't run a business in my country of birth).
• I didn't travel anywhere abroad for 5 years until things finally clicked and I could start spending some money without worrying about it.

Do I know and understand how hard it is for you now? Probably not. But you're on this forum so you have access to the same resources I had when starting out. The rest is within your control, even if it includes moving somewhere else with a more favorable economy and environment for making money.

 

[MTF]

Welcome back @MTF
I missed your posts!

Thank you. I appreciate it.

That was exactly what I was about to comment, but I've seen you've already written it in the conclusion.

The only way to be able to bring joy into this world is to first create it within yourself. When you live a life of purpose you become like a beacon of light in this world.

Always fix yourself before trying to fix other people. You can't guide others on the right path if you are lost as well.

All is easier when you live your own truth.

 

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[MTF]

Great post @MTF.

I've come to realise that people who you think are your friends are often not. They don't want you to grow, they don't want you become different, they dont want you to succeed.

What they really want is for you to stay the same as them, so that they can validate their life.

Here are a couple of examples "Dont give up alcohol, you won't be fun anymore and we won't hang out as much", "Don't work so hard, relax a bit, come out for a few beers so we can moan about the world together and how it lacks opportunities", "Don't be stupid, theres no way people like us can become millionaires and live the lives we dream of, it isn't for guys like us".

Every time one of your friends says something like the above remember the saying... "Misery loves company"... It's so much easier to bitch, complain and whine when others chip in too.

Circling back to @MTFs original point, these guys don't really want you to become successful. They say they do but you know from their actions that they don't. That's why they are not interested in what your doing, what your plans are, or what they can do to help.

If you succeed then it shows them that it can be done and they are lazy, unmotivated losers who have the ability to change their lives but don't. They have no one else to blame but themselves.

People don't like being proven wrong and having to challenge their status quo.

This is your life, not theirs, push on, push hard, and enjoy the journey. F*ck everyone else!

Real talk. Very well put. Can't add anything to that other than I would still respect other people's choices but just choose not to invest too much into my relationship with them.

 

[MTF]

Welcome back @MTF. I think this quote also fits the context:

"People don't want the best version of you, they want the version of you that serves them best.:

Thank you.

100%. It's very eye-opening when you realize that many relationships are manipulative in their nature. Few people can be genuinely happy for someone else, even if that person chooses a completely different life.

 

[Albert KOUADJA]

Be careful when saying or thinking things like "it's easy to say this when you're x." This automatically puts you into the role of a victim and the person in question as someone above you (which is not true).

I made a post about this recently as well:

MINDSET - Rely On Your Own Strength Instead of Somebody Else’s Compassion

On a recent flight, I decided to re-read some old documents and reviewed the Boron Letters by Gary Halbert. One thought in particular that caught my attention was: The first thing I want to say is that a fat, sloppy or skinny and weak body tends to broadcast to the world that the owner of that...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

Also, I'm posting this as a person who can afford it, yeah. But the quick back story is the following:

• I didn't travel abroad until I was almost 20 and before that, rarely traveled ever, even in my country. My parents were too poor for that.
• I lived in Mexico for 3 months when I was 21, mostly off my savings. I got broke there while trying to make money freelancing and had to borrow money to go back home.
• I vowed to keep working and not travel until I could easily afford it without it impacting my business. Many times I was very close to going bankrupt. I had to borrow money to pay social security so that I could keep running my business (without expensive mandatory social security you can't run a business in my country of birth).
• I didn't travel anywhere abroad for 5 years until things finally clicked and I could start spending some money without worrying about it.

Do I know and understand how hard it is for you now? Probably not. But you're on this forum so you have access to the same resources I had when starting out. The rest is within your control, even if it includes moving somewhere else with a more favorable economy and environment for making money.

Ok thanks you again for this reminder.

 

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[MTF]

People: please read this 100x over and apply it to your life.

I spent most of my childhood wanting to move out of IL, but at 18, I didn't because of a girlfriend, some "friends," and my family. Despite being miserable in IL, I stayed. Could've lived in Arizona, Florida, and a handful of others. But I was always terrified to leave everyone behind.

And now? I'm still in Illinois, but I'm no longer with that girlfriend, haven't spoken to any of those friends in years now, and my family is broken after my narcissistic, crackhead uncle drove everyone away years ago.

Just leave. Do what's best for you and leave. If you want to, of course.

The fact is most of those people will not be in your life 5-10 years from now. And the people that truly love you and care about you will make a relationship work, even if you're on the other side of the country.

I was so terrified of leaving everyone behind, I didn't notice they were leaving me behind.

That's very poignant.

What keeps you from moving away from Illinois now?

 

[Guest050x2]

That's very poignant.

What keeps you from moving away from Illinois now?

Absolutely nothing. This is the last year my girlfriend and I will be in IL. There are 2-3 states we are looking at, but realistically, AZ will probably win, depending on a couple of factors at that time. I am so excited to leave this state.

Hell, Chicago was more or less "taken over" a week ago or so by a couple hundred teenagers. Furthermore, while I tend to avoid politics, the direction IL is heading is not something I wish to be apart of. For reference, just take a look at San Francisco...

 

[MTF]

So I got back to my hometown a couple of days ago. At first I felt fine, even excited. It's late spring, you can already feel summer in the air, everything's green, the birds are chirping, the temperatures are warm-ish and the skies are blue.

But I'm already starting to feel worse. I expected disappointment but it still hurts when your family and friends don't care that you're back. Even the places that I used to frequent up to a few times a week (like local restaurants where all the employees know me) no longer care or even show any recognition.

I believe that if I were to die (or any person for that matter, barring maybe the most exceptional individuals), almost everyone would move on within 3 months. I can see that now, with me still alive. It shows you how little loyalty there is and how little it matters.

I don't regret my travels. It's just sad that people can't empathize and can't show any genuine interest or understanding when you're back home after a long, exciting adventure. It makes the reverse culture shock even worse and just makes you want to leave again since you don't feel like at home anyway. So you might as well be a stranger in a more interesting place.

I'm already going back to my self-destructive habits like emotional eating and it's getting harder to keep positive. It's a real struggle to feel good in a place that triggers you like that. I guess that's the price you pay for wanting to explore the world.

 

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[Kak]

So I got back to my hometown a couple of days ago. At first I felt fine, even excited. It's late spring, you can already feel summer in the air, everything's green, the birds are chirping, the temperatures are warm-ish and the skies are blue.

But I'm already starting to feel worse. I expected disappointment but it still hurts when your family and friends don't care that you're back. Even the places that I used to frequent up to a few times a week (like local restaurants where all the employees know me) no longer care or even show any recognition.

I believe that if I were to die (or any person for that matter, barring maybe the most exceptional individuals), almost everyone would move on within 3 months. I can see that now, with me still alive. It shows you how little loyalty there is and how little it matters.

I don't regret my travels. It's just sad that people can't empathize and can't show any genuine interest or understanding when you're back home after a long, exciting adventure. It makes the reverse culture shock even worse and just makes you want to leave again since you don't feel like at home anyway. So you might as well be a stranger in a more interesting place.

I'm already going back to my self-destructive habits like emotional eating and it's getting harder to keep positive. It's a real struggle to feel good in a place that triggers you like that. I guess that's the price you pay for wanting to explore the world.

Life isn’t as complicated as you make it seem. I hope you find hope…

There is an observable correlation between your happiness when you did your discomfort club and when you weren’t/aren’t. Just saying.

 

[Antifragile]

@MTF you sound depressed (again). It's sad to read because it is always sad and because it was predictable.

Kyle nailed it, that pivot when you shifted away from discomfort club to "comfort club traveller"... honestly I was expecting this kind of post, it was a matter of when. You probably won't agree or even truly hear me when I say this.

People like to spend time with happy people. Change you state, and you'll change how people react to you. Your travels are just your adventures, your memories. They mean nothing to people around you (including me, on the internet here).

People are busy with their own lives, you shouldn't have to feel good or bad based on their interpretation of your importance. You can't control how others feel, but you can control your own state. Ironically, you know all of that already. You used to help others, lead by example etc.

We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are. You are seeing it all judgemental and negative. You decided that whoever was in your life must get interested in YOUR adventures. All the while, same people are probably busy living their own complex (but perhaps fulfilling) lives.

 

[Kak]

So I got back to my hometown a couple of days ago. At first I felt fine, even excited. It's late spring, you can already feel summer in the air, everything's green, the birds are chirping, the temperatures are warm-ish and the skies are blue.

But I'm already starting to feel worse. I expected disappointment but it still hurts when your family and friends don't care that you're back. Even the places that I used to frequent up to a few times a week (like local restaurants where all the employees know me) no longer care or even show any recognition.

I believe that if I were to die (or any person for that matter, barring maybe the most exceptional individuals), almost everyone would move on within 3 months. I can see that now, with me still alive. It shows you how little loyalty there is and how little it matters.

I don't regret my travels. It's just sad that people can't empathize and can't show any genuine interest or understanding when you're back home after a long, exciting adventure. It makes the reverse culture shock even worse and just makes you want to leave again since you don't feel like at home anyway. So you might as well be a stranger in a more interesting place.

I'm already going back to my self-destructive habits like emotional eating and it's getting harder to keep positive. It's a real struggle to feel good in a place that triggers you like that. I guess that's the price you pay for wanting to explore the world.

Were your travels about you and your wants or impressing other people?

What do your travels have to do with people you didn’t travel with?

Other than a good story or two your travels matter ZERO to other people’s lives.

The irony here is that you are a debilitatingly introverted person and you’re kind of begging for attention.

Are you a sad sack because people don’t want to spend time with you? Or are are they avoiding you because you’re a sad sack? Your return to Houston, if you lived here, wouldn’t garner much attention from me with this attitude.

I haven’t made my life all about me. Somehow that’s better for me anyway. Hmm.

 

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[MTF]

I actually wanted to delete this post deeming it unnecessary and getting me back to posting too much here but I guess I was too late.

There is an observable correlation between your happiness when you did your discomfort club and when you weren’t/aren’t. Just saying.

Great job assuming how happy I am based on my posts on the forum. You're a true scientist. For all you know, I could have been pretending all the time with the DC how seemingly "happy" I was.

Everything and everyone can be very different from that tiny fraction you see online.

Were your travels about you and your wants or impressing other people?

What do your travels have to do with people you didn’t travel with?

Other than a good story or two your travels matter ZERO to other people’s lives.

The irony here is that you are a debilitatingly introverted person and you’re kind of begging for attention.

Are you a sad sack because people don’t want to spend time with you? Or are are they avoiding you because you’re a sad sack? Your return to Houston, if you lived here, wouldn’t garner much attention from me with this attitude.

I haven’t made my life all about me. Somehow that’s better for me anyway. Hmm.

They weren't about impressing anyone and as I emphasized multiple times in this thread, I don't expect people to listen to my stories for hours on end. I expect basic RECIPROCITY. I put in the time to ask people about their lives, remember little details, etc. What do I get in return? Zero interest in my life. Perhaps you have better relationships in your life. Good for you.

The only two people with whom I talk regularly and who have had the same experiences (with their families/friends not giving a F*ck about their lives) are both world travelers who have spent extensive time abroad or lived abroad.

They empathize and know well how it feels. I guess that comes with the territory and is a part of the reverse culture shock. As I said in the beginning, I should have removed this post and simply reached out to my friends. Got a little carried away by the negative emotions.

 

[Kak]

I actually wanted to delete this post deeming it unnecessary and getting me back to posting too much here but I guess I was too late.



Great job assuming how happy I am based on my posts on the forum. You're a true scientist. For all you know, I could have been pretending all the time with the DC how seemingly "happy" I was.

Everything and everyone can be very different from that tiny fraction you see online.



They weren't about impressing anyone and as I emphasized multiple times in this thread, I don't expect people to listen to my stories for hours on end. I expect basic RECIPROCITY. I put in the time to ask people about their lives, remember little details, etc. What do I get in return? Zero interest in my life. Perhaps you have better relationships in your life. Good for you.

The only two people with whom I talk regularly and who have had the same experiences (with their families/friends not giving a F*ck about their lives) are both world travelers who have spent extensive time abroad or lived abroad.

They empathize and know well how it feels. I guess that comes with the territory and is a part of the reverse culture shock. As I said in the beginning, I should have removed this post and simply reached out to my friends. Got a little carried away by the negative emotions.

You’re really coming across like someone I want to ask all about.

Seriously. I’m becoming maddeningly interested in your travels all of a sudden!

Come on man. You showed up at home like an a**hole all pissed off hoping people would make you feel better. They didn’t.

Cry me a river you just got back from living life on your terms and doing whatever you wanted for the last however long. And now you want all the people in your life who didn’t do that to feel sorry for you now that you’re back.

I wouldn’t be slinging this mud if I didn’t think you needed it. I’m telling you what they won’t.

Other people don’t like sad complainy assholes that say things like “you wouldn’t care if I died.” It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.

I guess I just don’t understand the plight of a world traveler.

 

[Fox]

Come on man. You showed up at home like an a**hole all pissed off hoping people would make you feel better. They didn’t.

Cry me a river you just got back from living life on your terms and doing whatever you wanted for the last however long. And now you want all the Other people don’t like sad complainy assholes that say things like “you wouldn’t care if I died.” It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.

Pretty weird post. The guy got back from a few weeks traveling the far side of the planet and just wants to see that anyone cares.

No need to gaslight him into thinking he is depressed.

 

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[MTF]

Kyle nailed it, that pivot when you shifted away from discomfort club to "comfort club traveller"... honestly I was expecting this kind of post, it was a matter of when. You probably won't agree or even truly hear me when I say this.

Congratulations for your awesome assumption and I'm very happy that you expected this kind of a post. I really appreciate your online diagnosis based on a single post written in a moment of weakness caused by struggling to adapt to a new environment. Another trained psychologist on the forum. I'm impressed.

I did way more uncomfortable stuff in the last few months than while I was running the Discomfort Club. I just keep it to myself now instead of writing a newsletter. But you wouldn't know about it. It only matters when you're destroying your body Goggins style and posting that online, right? I don't aspire to that bullshit anymore but I guess that's soft for you.

As a side note, I was away from the forum for a long time and when I got back I was greeted by ridiculous fights mostly started either by you or by Kyle. Great job turning the forum into such an unwelcome place. With all the polarization it starts to feel a lot like toxic social media now.

Few people called you out on it because you have too many posts and this forum has a tendency to make people with many posts appear as if they're always right and can't be questioned.

But I see many people here on the forum tired of your holier-than-thou approach. Perhaps it's not other people who have so many problems, depression, sadness, lack of leadership or lack ambition, etc. but you who has a problem with everyone who doesn't share your viewpoint (as was also indicated in other posts by other posters here).

 

[Kak]

@MTF You’re totally right.

Your attitude and a funnel into freelancing is totally what a group of hopeful entrepreneurs need.

Lol I’ll 100% bow out if MJ or the general forum wants me too.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

I was away from the forum for a long time and when I got back I was greeted by ridiculous fights mostly started either by you or by Kyle

It’s true that the forum has become a lot more divisive in the past 6 months or so, but I don’t think it’s because of Capitalism Kyle or Antifragile.

As a culture we are trained to be less respectful of one another, social media is just cementing that. If you look at it, this fragmentation is happening eveywhere.

Things are breaking apart, and people retreat into factions and join others who share their beliefs, find it hard to relate outside of that.

If you look at it, social media is the cause of this. Now if you’re a capitalist, you can easily find other capitalists to hang around, same if you’re a communist. You don’t need to interact with those dirty communists or those capitalist pigs anymore (as you had to before social media).

You can go and find your tribe. The result of that is a narrowing of perspectives. That’s what’s happening here too.

 

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[Fox]

@MTF You’re totally right.

Your attitude and a funnel into freelancing is totally what a group of hopeful entrepreneurs need.

Lol I’ll 100% bow out if MJ or the general forum wants me too.

Take a break man.
No even mentioned freelancing here.

But bring in freelancing to claim the upper ground as always.

Guy was just posting to get some forum support - way to help out.

 

[Kak]

Take a break man.
No even mentioned freelancing here.

But bring in freelancing to claim the upper ground as always.

Guy was just posting to get some forum support - way to help out.

No, you came in still butthurt that I don’t think freelancing is a great idea for new entrepreneurs and had to take your chance to jab.

Hey everyone! Are you new to thinking about entrepreneurship?



Try the “legends program” conveniently in the same font as the forum! You’ll be a “legend” in no time. It’s “official.”

You’re selling diet pills Rob not a lifestyle change.

Of course you want me to take a break. That’s a conflict of interest for you. I’m encouraging the lifestyle change and not charging for it.