Your Purpose and Your Deepest WHY!

[MJ DeMarco]

I am beginning to think that this is all part of the Fastlane forum hazing protocol for new members...

You are getting friction and opposition from forum members because this forum is based on 3 books that I've written, one of which has sold 1M copies and has been translated in 20+ languages, books which I'm guessing you HAVE NOT READ. Moreover, your posts borders on self-promotional activity which I've allowed. (There is a self-promotion thread you can use if you want to re-read the introductory thread you were FORCED to read.)

In those books, I state with 99% confidence that any guru/coach who charges $X,XXX for a seminar, coaching program, or whatever, is not to be trusted and is simply taking advantage of human nature, humanity's desire for a shortcut or some "secret sauce" which doesn't exist.

The answer is not some guru course that costs 5 iPhones, but simple discipline in information seek and discovery.

Or worse, read a book for $15 -- like Simon Sinek's "START WITH WHY."

A lot of entrepreneurs here are seasoned and do not fall for these guru pitches; which is why someone mentioned "know your audience".

 

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[Mindsetmary]

You are getting friction and opposition from forum members because this forum is based on 3 books that I've written, one of which has sold 1M copies and has been translated in 20+ languages, books which I'm guessing you HAVE NOT READ. Moreover, your posts borders on self-promotional activity which I've allowed. (There is a self-promotion thread you can use if you want to re-read the introductory thread you were FORCED to read.)

In those books, I state with 99% confidence that any guru/coach who charges $X,XXX for a seminar, coaching program, or whatever, is not to be trusted and is simply taking advantage of human nature, humanity's desire for a shortcut or some "secret sauce" which doesn't exist.

The answer is not some guru course that costs 5 iPhones, but simple discipline in information seek and discovery.

Or worse, read a book for $15 -- like Simon Sinek's "START WITH WHY."

A lot of entrepreneurs here are seasoned and do not fall for these guru pitches; which is why someone mentioned "know your audience".

Thank you MJ, I'm okay with friction and opposition, I think that's how we learn to tolerate different perspectives and perhaps even change our own, I just think it can be done in a respectful and non-offensive manner which in my opinion has not been the case.

At the end of the day, it's just an assessment tool like Kolbe, DISC, Strength Finders, etc. It's not promising to transform someone's life or help them hit 8 figures in their business, it's just a tool that can give someone insights/awareness around what matters to them and how they can use the tool to connect more meaningfully with others.

Any great coach will help lead you back to your true self to make you more of who you already are, not force-fit their cookie-cutter program/strategy/solution into your business and tell you that they are the only ones with the winning formula.

Appreciate you taking the time to explain, I am looking forward to reading your books to learn more from you and contribute to the forum more meaningfully.

Thanks again and enjoy your weekend! =)

 

[Lex DeVille]

Any great coach will help lead you back to your true self to make you more of who you already are, not force-fit their cookie-cutter program/strategy/solution into your business and tell you that they are the only ones with the winning formula.

I just think it can be done in a respectful and non-offensive manner which in my opinion has not been the case.

Got it. People should be their authentic selves...as long as they conform to your beliefs about what you think you deserve.

This is just the opinion of one authentic a**hole, but I don't think you'll find many people on this forum who give a shit about what you think you deserve.

I know I don't.

I do sincerely hope you read MJs books and start to view the world as it is instead of the fantasy land you're presently living in.

 

[Jon822]

Thank you MJ, I'm okay with friction and opposition, I think that's how we learn to tolerate different perspectives and perhaps even change our own, I just think it can be done in a respectful and non-offensive manner which in my opinion has not been the case.

Respect goes both ways. You lied about your affiliation with an obvious guru after advertising your YouTube channel and advertising your "business" in other comments as a new forum member. This is not the behavior of someone who is respecting the forum or its members. You're making it abundantly clear that you only view this place as prospective customers.

At the end of the day, it's just an assessment tool like Kolbe, DISC, Strength Finders, etc. It's not promising to transform someone's life or help them hit 8 figures in their business, it's just a tool that can give someone insights/awareness around what matters to them and how they can use the tool to connect more meaningfully with others.

Translation: Dr. Dipshit is selling $4000 packages of air. This is preemptive damage control word salad. "It's not promising to do anything significant." Then why the $4000 up-sell?

If you want to keep doubling down on your bs, go right ahead. You'll end up wasting a year or more chasing money with nothing to show for it. Or you could spend that time learning and building a real business. Maybe after reading one of the books you'll revisit this thread with a better perspective.

 

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[Mindsetmary]

Respect goes both ways. You lied about your affiliation with an obvious guru after advertising your YouTube channel and advertising your "business" in other comments as a new forum member. This is not the behavior of someone who is respecting the forum or its members. You're making it abundantly clear that you only view this place as prospective customers.


Translation: Dr. Dipshit is selling $4000 packages of air. This is preemptive damage control word salad. "It's not promising to do anything significant." Then why the $4000 up-sell?

If you want to keep doubling down on your bs, go right ahead. You'll end up wasting a year or more chasing money with nothing to show for it. Or you could spend that time learning and building a real business. Maybe after reading one of the books you'll revisit this thread with a better perspective.

Respect does go both ways I agree! I lied about my affiliation? I literally included the flyer that has my face on it with him and my partner in the original post! I shared all my YouTube and socials, if I was bs’ing then I’m clearly doing it wrong! I said I’m not getting any financial compensation from the event, neither is my partner, we originally connected with him because we were interested in how the discovery could align with what we are doing in our group coaching program.

Respect goes both ways. You lied about your affiliation with an obvious guru after advertising your YouTube channel and advertising your "business" in other comments as a new forum member. This is not the behavior of someone who is respecting the forum or its members. You're making it abundantly clear that you only view this place as prospective customers.


Translation: Dr. Dipshit is selling $4000 packages of air. This is preemptive damage control word salad. "It's not promising to do anything significant." Then why the $4000 up-sell?

If you want to keep doubling down on your bs, go right ahead. You'll end up wasting a year or more chasing money with nothing to show for it. Or you could spend that time learning and building a real business. Maybe after reading one of the books you'll revisit this thread with a better perspective.

How did I lie about my affiliation when the original post to this forum I had attached the poster advertisement of him, my partner and myself on the poster! Did you look at the attachments from my original post attachments, I think it was the first attachment.

There is no affiliate deal with him or his company, it’s just a collaboration, zero compensation, we are more interested in understanding what the discovery can deliver in a group setting, if results land for people and whether it makes sense to integrate it into our program as something we provide to everyone at the onset by either us paying for them at $97 each or certifying whereby his certification provides 25 free discoveries to use as well as a 50% discount on any future discoveries after the free ones are done.

And absolutely yes, I do plan on reading MJ’s books!

 

[Oso]

Agreed. What I said was mostly a joke with some truth. The common denominator all (or almost all) worthless coaches and gurus share is operating in the space of "it sounds good and has a dash of truth to it but it's ultimately worthless or easy to replicate". If you can become a coach by lying about credentials and throwing up a WordPress site in less than an hour, then the stuff you're "coaching" is bullshit. It doesn't matter how much lipstick you put on a pig - it's still a pig.

As far as the making millions from it, I don't encourage it but I'm not against it. I feel bad for some of the people who get swindled out of thousands of dollars trying to improve their life even if they should know better. Regardless, this isn't the place for it.

Oh, no worries man, I feel you. Which is why I have no problem saying I do agree with you, to some extent. Of course there are people that can sit down and legitimately figure out their foundational values as a human as they progress. In my opinion, that's a superpower.

Furthermore, I 100% agree with you in regards to gurus. I'm very much a man with the mentality of "I'm not going to try to sell you something I haven't done myself." So, when a random pops up spouting off about coaching for "WHY" (because I'll respect your shenanigans), while having accomplished seemingly nothing in the entrepreneurship world, while then simultaneously charging exorbitant prices, I find myself struggling to respect that person at all. Because, to me - and most others - it screams out "all I care about is collecting your 4k, and hoping you either A) don't have the time to actually do it, or B) end up getting too scared to try it. Therefore, no one ever realizes it's a façade.

And this all leads us to our final point. Because, once again, I 100% agree with you. There's a tiny part of me that feels for them, however, most of me realizes this has been around for decades. Yet, akin to basic frauds and click baits, people still fall for them every second. Literally, thousands of people. If not hundreds of thousands. Millions? Idk. Cybersecurity is too hard for me. My point is: at what point do simply look at them and say, "if you refuse to adapt at all, I'm not going to feel sorry for you when you lose your net worth because you thought they were a Nigerian Prince?"

Completely off-topic: I'm a huge fan of you, my dude. Between the hentai trolling and this convo, you seem cool af. If you're ever in Chicago or the burbs, I'll buy you a beer. Promise I'm not a serial killer <3.

Cheers.

 

[NervesOfSteel]

Hi Everyone,

I recently interviewed on my YouTube Channel/Podcast Dr. Gary Sanchez who is the CEO of the WHY Institute. He has built an entire company around helping people discover their deepest WHY. For those of you that are personal development junkies (I am one of them) and have taken tons of online tests to better understand yourself, this one struck a huge chord with me!

I burst into laughter after reading this.

I would trust him if he was bald and looked a bit like Charles Xavier!

Nobody needs a program to find their WHY. One night as a homeless in the street will do the job!

The courage to be disliked (book) had some viewpoints based on Alderian philosophy.

Compelling book.

 

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[Mindsetmary]

Got it. People should be their authentic selves...as long as they conform to your beliefs about what you think you deserve.

This is just the opinion of one authentic a**hole, but I don't think you'll find many people on this forum who give a shit about what you think you deserve.

I know I don't.

I do sincerely hope you read MJs books and start to view the world as it is instead of the fantasy land you're presently living in.

Nobody needs to conform to my beliefs and I certainly don't need to conform to anyone else's, we are all within our rights to have our belief systems.

I have standards for how I treat others and how I wish to be treated, our standards may differ, you certainly don't need to meet my standards and I don't need to meet yours. We are who we are, you be you and I'll be me and that's how we stay authentic to ourselves no matter what others think of us.

You have certainly challenged my perspective, I'll think on that as I go through MJ's books.

 

[Mindsetmary]

Respect goes both ways. You lied about your affiliation with an obvious guru after advertising your YouTube channel and advertising your "business" in other comments as a new forum member. This is not the behavior of someone who is respecting the forum or its members. You're making it abundantly clear that you only view this place as prospective customers.


Translation: Dr. Dipshit is selling $4000 packages of air. This is preemptive damage control word salad. "It's not promising to do anything significant." Then why the $4000 up-sell?

If you want to keep doubling down on your bs, go right ahead. You'll end up wasting a year or more chasing money with nothing to show for it. Or you could spend that time learning and building a real business. Maybe after reading one of the books you'll revisit this thread with a better perspective.

I burst into laughter after reading this.

I would trust him if he was bald and looked a bit like Charles Xavier!

Nobody needs a program to find their WHY. One night as a homeless in the street will do the job!






Compelling book.

Are you familiar with Gino Wickman's work? Here is an extraction from his book "10 Disciplines":

"Knowing thyself is a matter of understanding your strengths, weaknesses, personality, and Modus Operandi
(M.O.). There are many different approaches to knowing thyself. You can use profiling tools like DiSC, Myers-Briggs,
Culture Index, or my favorite, Kolbe. I’ve taken at least 10 of them, and they’ve all had an impact on my clarity."

There is no "program", it's just an assessment like the ones quoted above, it gives clarity to those who are seeking it, it's not promising to change your life it is just trying to help you understand yourself a little better and that was my own experience with my results.

I am not going to claim that it will help everybody but I also don't think that it will help nobody because it did help me, I think we decide what we choose to be receptive to, take what's useful, and discard the rest. =)

 

[Kevin88660]

Hi Everyone,

I recently interviewed on my YouTube Channel/Podcast Dr. Gary Sanchez who is the CEO of the WHY Institute. He has built an entire company around helping people discover their deepest WHY. For those of you that are personal development junkies (I am one of them) and have taken tons of online tests to better understand yourself, this one struck a huge chord with me!

My ultimate why revolved around "TRUST", my need to feel like I am a trusted source, my need to cultivate self-trust, and my desire to have others trust me. That was such a massive unlock for me, especially in areas of my life where I struggled or had relationship breakdowns, it always led to some sort of break in trust!

His company is on a mission to help 1 billion people find their WHY, they are currently just over 300,000 discovery assessments completed! My birthday is next Tuesday Feb 27 and he has offered to host an event to show coaches/consultants the power of this discovery and how it can help elevate their impact, income and client conversions. The best part is that he is gifting the discovery to each person who attends the event which is awesome ($97 value)!

I am personally not getting paid for this event or selling anything to anyone! I found my results to be insightful and helpful in better understanding myself and also communicating to others what's really important to me. I think other coaches/consultants would find this exercise really valuable. I plan on using this discovery with my one-on-one clients as well as integrate it into the front end of my group coaching program.

The event will take place online next Tuesday February 27, 10:00-11:00 Pacific, If you're interested in learning about the importance of knowing someone's WHY and taking the WHY discovery yourself then please let me know, I am happy to send you a registration link and get you set up.

Hope this was helpful, sending you all lots of love!

Mary

p.s. I am relatively new to this forum and hope I am not breaking any rules, if anyone sees any issues with this post please send me a message and I will delete this thread! Thx =)

As you said you need to feel like a trusted source, please give us some academic citations on how finding out “why” help to improve performance.

It is not the first time I heard you need to figure on “why”. But why “why”?

I have been pitched courses before but they turn elusive when I ask for the numbers and evidence.

I almost laughed when I was told that I need to have “leap of faith”. Of course I didn’t laugh in order not to show signs of disrespect.

I paid for bazi, fengshui, horoscope consultations before. I definitely don’t consider myself too close minded when it comes to paying to hear with an open mind.

 

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[Jon822]

Completely off-topic: I'm a huge fan of you, my dude. Between the hentai trolling and this convo, you seem cool af. If you're ever in Chicago or the burbs, I'll buy you a beer. Promise I'm not a serial killer <3.

You got fooled by great marketing of a shit product, but I'd be honored to be your first kill.

On a more serious note, I'm glad I've resonated with you because I think you'd be a perfect recipient for a coaching seminar I'm hosting called "just give me money". It's not $4000 like other obvious scams - it only costs $3999 (plus a $1 booking fee). Note that it won't change your life overnight, nor will it even get you started. Also, I won't be attending.

On an actual serious note, I will definitely take you up on your offer whenever an opportunity presents itself

 

[Antifragile]

What’s my WHY?
What’s my WHY?
…

 

[biophase]

And absolutely yes, I do plan on reading MJ’s books!

Mary, your first post screams like advertising to this WHY webinar. You can say you aren’t getting paid or you have no affiliation… but it’s still advertising and people aren’t believing you are doing this out of the goodness of your heart.

In fact later on you mentioned that you want to see how this works to see if you can add it into your new coaching plan. Probably the one that you will pay $4000 for for access to their test which to me is the sign of something scamy.

Maybe if coaching wasn’t your main business then people might believe you. Or maybe if you had posted up about a program that is outside of something that your coaching would offer.

After you finish MJ‘s books you will think what the F*ck was I doing?

 

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[NervesOfSteel]

Maybe if coaching wasn’t your main business then people might believe you. Or maybe if you had posted up about a program that is outside of something that your coaching would offer.

Golden Advice to adapt/customize the sales pitch

 

[MJ DeMarco]

You can use profiling tools like DiSC, Myers-Briggs,
Culture Index, or my favorite, Kolbe. I’ve taken at least 10 of them, and they’ve all had an impact on my clarity."

Here is the disconnect we're feeling...

People visit this forum to help grow their business, get business ideas, and overcome business problems/obstacles. We're really not here to get clarity X 10, we're here to build businesses.

Some are getting the feeling you're not here for this purpose, but here to sell us on this WHY Conference, or to find new coaching clients.

It's like you want to sell tickets to a baseball game inside the stadium to people who already have tickets.

Ultimately, we really aren't your audience as 99% of the people here know their WHY -- which is WHY they are here; to grow their business, escape the rat race, and live life on their terms.

 

[Mindsetmary]

As you said you need to feel like a trusted source, please give us some academic citations on how finding out “why” help to improve performance.

It is not the first time I heard you need to figure on “why”. But why “why”?

I have been pitched courses before but they turn elusive when I ask for the numbers and evidence.

I almost laughed when I was told that I need to have “leap of faith”. Of course I didn’t laugh in order not to show signs of disrespect.

I paid for bazi, fengshui, horoscope consultations before. I definitely don’t consider myself too close minded when it comes to paying to hear with an open mind.

I think finding one's own why is more relevant to alignment than performance, knowing who you are, what matters to you, understanding your triggers, etc it's about self-awareness and clarity of purpose.

In terms of performance, if you know what's important to someone you're working with or someone you want to work with, I think it can create deeper connections and trust.

Personally speaking, my business partner and I both took the test, the WHY assessment basically has 9 WHY's (trust is one of them), and when I compared my results with my partner's, his first three why's were my last nine, he is all about simplification (his first why was simplify) and I am all about giving the most value because I want to be a "trusted source" and I saw first hand how that played out when we developed the curriculum for our group coaching program, there was some friction in the way we both worked. My thought process is to do it well and get it right which took me more time, and his thought process was to stop spending so much time to "get it perfect" and just get it done and let's move on to the next thing because we will tweak as get feedback from people in the program. Understanding how he operates and what matters to him (keep it simple and keep moving), I understand him better and him understanding how important it is for me to ensure that everything we do is of a high standard, we can create more harmony in how we work together.

We were both convinced enough that there was some value in this assessment just based on our personal experience with the assessment, and the ability to understand each other's values/motivations.

I like to be open-minded as well, I think the best way to know if something is for you or not is to be open to the experience (if it makes sense), trust your gut, and decide for yourself. =)

 

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[Kak]

Why?

How about why not?

It's better to have resources than not.

Do things that allow you to have more resources.

The end.

 

[Mindsetmary]

Here is the disconnect we're feeling...

People visit this forum to help grow their business, get business ideas, and overcome business problems/obstacles. We're really not here to get clarity X 10, we're here to build businesses.

Some are getting the feeling you're not here for this purpose, but here to sell us on this WHY Conference, or to find new coaching clients.

It's like you want to sell tickets to a baseball game inside the stadium to people who already have tickets.

Ultimately, we really aren't your audience as 99% of the people here know their WHY -- which is WHY they are here; to grow their business, escape the rat race, and live life on their terms.

That makes complete sense MJ thank you for sharing that, and I think it goes back to Lex's original post about "know your audience". I also don't want to sell anything to anyone, especially when they don't want or need it.

Maybe if I had found a forum like this years ago, I wouldn't have spent the last 23 years in the rat race! Growing my business, escaping the rat race, and living life on my terms is certainly something that resonates deeply for me because I have been on this journey since Covid hit which is when I began questioning my life's path and I have worked hard in the last few years to develop my mindset, up level my skills and have the confidence and courage to leave my career in April (as a single parent with four kids, I did not take this decision lightly)!

I appreciate how you've shown up in this thread MJ, I'm committed to reading your books, getting to know this forum better, and contributing in a way that is in alignment with why people are here.

 

[Mindsetmary]

Mary, your first post screams like advertising to this WHY webinar. You can say you aren’t getting paid or you have no affiliation… but it’s still advertising and people aren’t believing you are doing this out of the goodness of your heart.

In fact later on you mentioned that you want to see how this works to see if you can add it into your new coaching plan. Probably the one that you will pay $4000 for for access to their test which to me is the sign of something scamy.

Maybe if coaching wasn’t your main business then people might believe you. Or maybe if you had posted up about a program that is outside of something that your coaching would offer.

After you finish MJ‘s books you will think what the F*ck was I doing?

After reading what so many people wrote here, I do now understand the optics of my post looking "scammy", I receive taht and I will learn from it!

I know people don't believe that I am doing this for free and perhaps that is a HUGE lesson learned for me, even "free" comes at a cost to my time, energy, and mental bandwidth. This is all useful feedback, and I am okay with making mistakes, so long as I learn from them, but I will certainly be more careful in any future collaborations that I agree to!

Thx for sharing your thoughts, appreciate you!

 

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[Mindsetmary]

Why?

How about why not?

It's better to have resources than not.

Do things that allow you to have more resources.

The end.

Well said!

 

[Antifragile]

Growing my business, escaping the rat race, and living life on my terms

There’s your WHY, Mary!

I feel you are turning around, you might like it here more than you think.

With different mindset you can achieve what you want easier, with less time!

For a single mom, to quit your job … you need to be successful.

Your kids are also your WHY.

Welcome once again, and we look forward to seeing you achieve your goals in business. We are here to help when you need it.

PS Start with books, then GOLD threads, contribute, stick around … share your success and lessons …

 

[Mindsetmary]

There’s is your WHY, Mary!

I feel you are turning around, you might like it here more than you think.

With different mindset you can achieve what you want easier, with less time!

For a single mom, to quit your job … you need to be successful.

Your kids are also your WHY.

Welcome once again, and we look forward to seeing you achieve your goals in business. We are here to help when you need it.

PS Start with books, then GOLD threads, contribute, stick around … share your success and lessons …

I receive that, thank you, this group has certainly challenged my thinking and put me through some uncomfortable feelings, but I do value learning and growth and that can't happen if I'm not challenging my worldview.

I'm not one to shy away from adversity, I've had my fair share of it and it's only made me a better human/parent.

I will check the forum threads to see if there is a particular sequence to which book to read first, appreciate your message, and I plan on sticking around, thank you for having me!

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

After reading what so many people wrote here, I do now understand the optics of my post looking "scammy", I receive taht and I will learn from it!

This is all useful feedback,

I receive that, thank you, this group has certainly challenged my thinking and put me through some uncomfortable feelings, but I do value learning and growth and that can't happen if I'm not challenging my worldview.

Adaptability, open-mindedness, willingness to learn, receptive and not terribly defensive to critical feedback; amazing.

These are entrepreneurial superpowers that will transfer well into your business success.

Give yourself a high-five.

 

[Andy Black]

Adaptability, open-mindedness, willingness to learn, receptive and not terribly defensive to critical feedback; amazing.

^^^ This.

 

[Mindsetmary]

Adaptability, open-mindedness, willingness to learn, receptive and not terribly defensive to critical feedback; amazing.

These are entrepreneurial superpowers that will transfer well into your business success.

Give yourself a high-five.

Thank you MJ, appreciate your kind words, that means a lot!

I still have much to learn, I'm grateful that I found this forum to help me navigate my journey!

Looking forward to digging into your books, the threads, and the Fastlane life!

Happy Sunday!

 

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