Enslaved by the pursuit of freedom

[perchboy]

Last Christmas, my best friend messaged me saying "Merry Christmas, but Christmas isn't so Merry when you aren't making 3k/month." I spent Christmas Day angry because my business wasn’t making any money yet.

For the past year, I would wake up every day furious about not having what I want. I would be ungrateful for everything, treat people with attitude, be miserable due to my "horrible" life, go to bed late feeling like shit, and repeat the cycle.

I kept setting new goals for myself:

• "I'm furious because I'm not at $3k/month!"
• "I'm furious because I'm not at $5k/month!"
• "I'm furious because I'm not at $10k/month!"

And this wasn’t only for my finances, it was for every aspect of my life.

• "I'm furious because I don't have a girlfriend!"
• "I'm furious because I want a cuter girlfriend!"
• "I'm furious because I don't have my driver's license yet!"
• "I'm furious because I want a better car!"

I thought it was good because I get some extra motivation from anger but I realized that on a long enough time frame, my life will unfold into decades of dissatisfaction; chasing one thing after another until my death comes and takes away everything I ever had.

Chasing is not the problem. I love striving for goals. The problem is telling yourself "I wont be happy until X" BULLSHIT! If you can't be happy RIGHT NOW, nothing external will ever be able to provide you long term happiness.

So, I reframed my attitude.
Instead of waking up and saying "I hate living in Toronto; I'll be happy when I wake up on an exotic island.” I now tell myself, "What a blessing to be in such a vibrant city of opportunity! People from war-torn countries and small villages would love to live here. I’ll make the most out of this blessing by pursuing my dreams with no regret!"

I approach things with love and gratitude rather than anger and discontentment. I'm 100X happier, I feel healthier, and more fulfilled.

Take time every day to be grateful for where you are. Live more in the NOW instead of in a future daydream. Chances are in a couple of years you’ll be looking back at today thinking “those were the good ol days”

Today is a gift; that's why it's called the present. Go make the most out of it!

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

Last Christmas, my best friend messaged me saying "Merry Christmas, but Christmas isn't so Merry when you aren't making 3k/month." I spent Christmas Day angry because my business wasn’t making any money yet.

For the past year, I would wake up every day furious about not having what I want. I would be ungrateful for everything, treat people with attitude, be miserable due to my "horrible" life, go to bed late feeling like shit, and repeat the cycle.

I kept setting new goals for myself:

• "I'm furious because I'm not at $3k/month!"
• "I'm furious because I'm not at $5k/month!"
• "I'm furious because I'm not at $10k/month!"

And this wasn’t only for my finances, it was for every aspect of my life.

• "I'm furious because I don't have a girlfriend!"
• "I'm furious because I want a cuter girlfriend!"
• "I'm furious because I don't have my driver's license yet!"
• "I'm furious because I want a better car!"

I thought it was good because I get some extra motivation from anger but I realized that on a long enough time frame, my life will unfold into decades of dissatisfaction; chasing one thing after another until my death comes and takes away everything I ever had.

Chasing is not the problem. I love striving for goals. The problem is telling yourself "I wont be happy until X" BULLSHIT! If you can't be happy RIGHT NOW, nothing external will ever be able to provide you long term happiness.

So, I reframed my attitude.
Instead of waking up and saying "I hate living in Toronto; I'll be happy when I wake up on an exotic island.” I now tell myself, "What a blessing to be in such a vibrant city of opportunity! People from war-torn countries and small villages would love to live here. I’ll make the most out of this blessing by pursuing my dreams with no regret!"

I approach things with love and gratitude rather than anger and discontentment. I'm 100X happier, I feel healthier, and more fulfilled.

Take time every day to be grateful for where you are. Live more in the NOW instead of in a future daydream. Chances are in a couple of years you’ll be looking back at today thinking “those were the good ol days”

Today is a gift; that's why it's called the present. Go make the most out of it!

I will give you GOLD for this because it’s one of the things I struggle with myself. Do you have any resources that you can share that helped you make this mindset shift?

 

[whitelight]

Last Christmas, my best friend messaged me saying "Merry Christmas, but Christmas isn't so Merry when you aren't making 3k/month." I spent Christmas Day angry because my business wasn’t making any money yet.

For the past year, I would wake up every day furious about not having what I want. I would be ungrateful for everything, treat people with attitude, be miserable due to my "horrible" life, go to bed late feeling like shit, and repeat the cycle.

I kept setting new goals for myself:

• "I'm furious because I'm not at $3k/month!"
• "I'm furious because I'm not at $5k/month!"
• "I'm furious because I'm not at $10k/month!"

And this wasn’t only for my finances, it was for every aspect of my life.

• "I'm furious because I don't have a girlfriend!"
• "I'm furious because I want a cuter girlfriend!"
• "I'm furious because I don't have my driver's license yet!"
• "I'm furious because I want a better car!"

I thought it was good because I get some extra motivation from anger but I realized that on a long enough time frame, my life will unfold into decades of dissatisfaction; chasing one thing after another until my death comes and takes away everything I ever had.

Chasing is not the problem. I love striving for goals. The problem is telling yourself "I wont be happy until X" BULLSHIT! If you can't be happy RIGHT NOW, nothing external will ever be able to provide you long term happiness.

So, I reframed my attitude.
Instead of waking up and saying "I hate living in Toronto; I'll be happy when I wake up on an exotic island.” I now tell myself, "What a blessing to be in such a vibrant city of opportunity! People from war-torn countries and small villages would love to live here. I’ll make the most out of this blessing by pursuing my dreams with no regret!"

I approach things with love and gratitude rather than anger and discontentment. I'm 100X happier, I feel healthier, and more fulfilled.

Take time every day to be grateful for where you are. Live more in the NOW instead of in a future daydream. Chances are in a couple of years you’ll be looking back at today thinking “those were the good ol days”

Today is a gift; that's why it's called the present. Go make the most out of it!

One of my pastor used to say that God gave us a brand new day to correct the mistake we made yesterday.

 

[Xeon]

Do you have any resources that you can share that helped you make this mindset shift?

It's called Buddhism.

 

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[MartinG]

Wanting is pain...

What is the point of having such an approach to not having things you think you want? This is just makes matters worse and can affect your ability to execute on going after the things you want.

Life is short man to get hung up on all this bs, especially when the internet and social media is rife showing 1000's of different kinds of lifestyles that you will never have because everything is unique to your own situation.

Work hard, enjoy the ride and don't get so hung up on things you don't have because you will never be satisfied.

This is not saying to settle or give up, more to take a different look at life and how you live it.

Having ambition but also being content in your day to day should not be two mutually exclusive things.

And we are all guilty of wanting things...it's just natural.

Just accept that, so that you can best deal with it in how you move forward.

Good luck.

 

[Lou7]

I will give you GOLD for this because it’s one of the things I struggle with myself. Do you have any resources that you can share that helped you make this mindset shift?

I think everyday about things I'm grateful for. Specially the small things. Being able to have confort (bed and AC), food, friends, family...

 

[maverick]

Stop comparing yourself to other people

 

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[srodrigo]

It reminded me of this video. It talks about this struggle with happiness, goals, and outcomes.

View: https://youtu.be/p0p1fjLPjYQ?t=20

 

[perchboy]

I will give you GOLD for this because it’s one of the things I struggle with myself. Do you have any resources that you can share that helped you make this mindset shift?

Gratitude + mindfulness

Acknowledge 3 things you’re grateful for and then do 1 minute of meditation every morning.

It sets your mood and energy for the rest of the day.

 

[Aidan04]

Last Christmas, my best friend messaged me saying "Merry Christmas, but Christmas isn't so Merry when you aren't making 3k/month." I spent Christmas Day angry because my business wasn’t making any money yet.

For the past year, I would wake up every day furious about not having what I want. I would be ungrateful for everything, treat people with attitude, be miserable due to my "horrible" life, go to bed late feeling like shit, and repeat the cycle.

I kept setting new goals for myself:

• "I'm furious because I'm not at $3k/month!"
• "I'm furious because I'm not at $5k/month!"
• "I'm furious because I'm not at $10k/month!"

And this wasn’t only for my finances, it was for every aspect of my life.

• "I'm furious because I don't have a girlfriend!"
• "I'm furious because I want a cuter girlfriend!"
• "I'm furious because I don't have my driver's license yet!"
• "I'm furious because I want a better car!"

I thought it was good because I get some extra motivation from anger but I realized that on a long enough time frame, my life will unfold into decades of dissatisfaction; chasing one thing after another until my death comes and takes away everything I ever had.

Chasing is not the problem. I love striving for goals. The problem is telling yourself "I wont be happy until X" BULLSHIT! If you can't be happy RIGHT NOW, nothing external will ever be able to provide you long term happiness.

So, I reframed my attitude.
Instead of waking up and saying "I hate living in Toronto; I'll be happy when I wake up on an exotic island.” I now tell myself, "What a blessing to be in such a vibrant city of opportunity! People from war-torn countries and small villages would love to live here. I’ll make the most out of this blessing by pursuing my dreams with no regret!"

I approach things with love and gratitude rather than anger and discontentment. I'm 100X happier, I feel healthier, and more fulfilled.

Take time every day to be grateful for where you are. Live more in the NOW instead of in a future daydream. Chances are in a couple of years you’ll be looking back at today thinking “those were the good ol days”

Today is a gift; that's why it's called the present. Go make the most out of it!

"Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want."
- Naval Ravikant

 

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[perchboy]

"Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want."
- Naval Ravikant

It doesn’t need to be that way. You can strive for your goals with a smile on your face.

If you went on a hike, would you be unhappy until you reach the end?

No! You would enjoy the adventure that you’re on while still taking steps towards the final result.

I am working towards my goals but I still enjoy this part of the journey. I will never be 16 again starting a business with no bills to pay.

No matter where I’m at, I’ll have a smile on my face. If you’re breathing, there is always a reason to enjoy right now.

 

[Aidan04]

It doesn’t need to be that way. You can strive for your goals with a smile on your face.

If you went on a hike, would you be unhappy until you reach the end?

No! You would enjoy the adventure that you’re on while still taking steps towards the final result.

I am working towards my goals but I still enjoy this part of the journey. I will never be 16 again starting a business with no bills to pay.

No matter where I’m at, I’ll have a smile on my face. If you’re breathing, there is always a reason to enjoy right now.

You know that's not what I meant hahaha

If you know Naval, he's a multimillionaire entrepreneur.

Of course the guy has had desires, he's just saying to be careful about how many you have.

 

[Spenny]

It doesn’t need to be that way. You can strive for your goals with a smile on your face.

If you went on a hike, would you be unhappy until you reach the end?

No! You would enjoy the adventure that you’re on while still taking steps towards the final result.

I am working towards my goals but I still enjoy this part of the journey. I will never be 16 again starting a business with no bills to pay.

No matter where I’m at, I’ll have a smile on my face. If you’re breathing, there is always a reason to enjoy it right now.

Yes, yes, yes. This.

It hit me like a truck when I did this with Chess. I was so desperate to get to 1000 Elo for the first time I reached it and felt empty because I didn't enjoy the process.

The joy of looking at things positively, too, is seeing opportunity. I had a video stolen from me recently by an affiliate marketer. Initially, I was upset, but I realised that many people must be looking to push my product for me. Bam, the new opportunity.

Great post, Perch. Keep killing it.

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

It doesn’t need to be that way. You can strive for your goals with a smile on your face.

If you went on a hike, would you be unhappy until you reach the end?

No! You would enjoy the adventure that you’re on while still taking steps towards the final result.

I am working towards my goals but I still enjoy this part of the journey. I will never be 16 again starting a business with no bills to pay.

No matter where I’m at, I’ll have a smile on my face. If you’re breathing, there is always a reason to enjoy right now.

I actually agree with this, this is actually exactly why I dislike eastern philosophies like Buddhism, which advocate against desire.

 

[Dockid]

If you are healthy, you are already wealthy. A healthy person wants 1000s of things, a sick person just wants one.

 

[Anna13]

Last Christmas, my best friend messaged me saying "Merry Christmas, but Christmas isn't so Merry when you aren't making 3k/month." I spent Christmas Day angry because my business wasn’t making any money yet.

For the past year, I would wake up every day furious about not having what I want. I would be ungrateful for everything, treat people with attitude, be miserable due to my "horrible" life, go to bed late feeling like shit, and repeat the cycle.

I kept setting new goals for myself:

• "I'm furious because I'm not at $3k/month!"
• "I'm furious because I'm not at $5k/month!"
• "I'm furious because I'm not at $10k/month!"

And this wasn’t only for my finances, it was for every aspect of my life.

• "I'm furious because I don't have a girlfriend!"
• "I'm furious because I want a cuter girlfriend!"
• "I'm furious because I don't have my driver's license yet!"
• "I'm furious because I want a better car!"

I thought it was good because I get some extra motivation from anger but I realized that on a long enough time frame, my life will unfold into decades of dissatisfaction; chasing one thing after another until my death comes and takes away everything I ever had.

Chasing is not the problem. I love striving for goals. The problem is telling yourself "I wont be happy until X" BULLSHIT! If you can't be happy RIGHT NOW, nothing external will ever be able to provide you long term happiness.

So, I reframed my attitude.
Instead of waking up and saying "I hate living in Toronto; I'll be happy when I wake up on an exotic island.” I now tell myself, "What a blessing to be in such a vibrant city of opportunity! People from war-torn countries and small villages would love to live here. I’ll make the most out of this blessing by pursuing my dreams with no regret!"

I approach things with love and gratitude rather than anger and discontentment. I'm 100X happier, I feel healthier, and more fulfilled.

Take time every day to be grateful for where you are. Live more in the NOW instead of in a future daydream. Chances are in a couple of years you’ll be looking back at today thinking “those were the good ol days”

Today is a gift; that's why it's called the present. Go make the most out of it!

 

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[Anna13]

Thought like your past you before my father died. Since he died in 2011, I‘ve been thinking bout death every morning I wake up (first I thought this is really bad and that I needed to go to therapy). But today, 12 years later, I‘m actually grateful, because every day I reminded myself that I could suddenly die, like my father did, and it absolutely reminds me of what I really want, of my priorities and that life is precious. You‘re right, being grateful is the path to happiness.

 

[Jrjohnny]

Man. I can’t relate to this more.

I now wake up, at 6:30 every morning because of school. Say a quick thank you to god for another day.

I might get a little annoyed when very tired, and start ranting about how I live in Toronto, but I try to catch myself and tell myself that I may not be in the best city, anything I have can be taken away so easily, I may aswell enjoy it while I have it.

Sure, it might take me an hour to make it home from school,

But atleast I make it home.

Sure, I’ve been struggling to pursue entrepreneurial endeavours,

But atleast I can.

I hate it going to school,

But atleast I get to go to school.

there’s a popular song going around, it’s called yesterday is gone.

“
Yesterday gone, don′t think 'bout the past Didn′t know who I was under the mask It look greener when you look at their grass Jealousy make you blind to what you have

“

Some of you might find it funny, but it resonates with me.

“Gosh I wish I could wake up in a mansion”

Be grateful your waking up

“gosh I wish I lived in a different city”

Be grateful you live somewhere where you don’t have to walk a marathon for water

“I wish I could live like X, Y or Z”

Don’t be wishing to live like XYZ, Be happy your living like YOU.

 

[Lou7]

I actually agree with this, this is actually exactly why I dislike eastern philosophies like Buddhism, which advocate against desire.

buddhism does not advocate against desire. It is a common misconceoption. It actally advocates against the wrong king of desire! Otherwise you wouldn't take a bath or even eat

 

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[perchboy]

buddhism does not advocate against desire. It is a common misconceoption. It actally advocates against the wrong king of desire! Otherwise you wouldn't take a bath or even eat

Please elaborTe

 

[Lou7]

Please elaborTe

Sorry for the typos, wrote it while inside a super fast uber LOL

'Buddhism does not advocate the suppression of all desires, but rather offers the means to gain freedom from afflictive emotions. The desire for food when one is hungry, the aspiration to work for peace in the world, the thirst for knowledge, the wish to share one’s life with dear ones, or the yearning for freedom from suffering: all of these can contribute to lasting happiness as long as they are not tainted by craving and grasping. Like the other emotions, desire can be experienced either in a constructive or in an afflictive way. It can be the catalyst for a meaningful life—or the maelstrom that wrecks it'

Basically, the desire to get rich to get more freedom and help yourself and others is good. It makes you evolve. However, you can't control the outcome. Thus, the outcome can't be the condition for happiness. Firstly because you can control it 100%. Secondly because it is fleeting.

Concluding: Try to be happy here and now. Be thankful for what you have. If you get rich, good. If you don't, at least you tried and now you are a better person because of it

 

[Lou7]

View: https://youtu.be/vSQjk9jKarg?si=SIKuDtdX22fpWemS


we all benefit from this video, check out folks!! longest study on happiness

the main takeaway is the final study between happiness and money

 

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