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MJ DeMarco
I followed the science; all I found was money.
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I've been in Poland for over two months now (due to some medical-related stuff of my girlfriend) and my mental state is shit now. I thought that occupying myself with lots of stuff would help. It helped in the beginning but I think I was just initially fueled by the energy from 2023 (I spent the entire year in great weather).
Now, I'm so tired that I'm close to collapsing mentally and my health is also way worse.
Almost every day is the same F*cking shade of gray. There have been 2-3-week periods without any sunshine whatsoever. I can't be even 25% as active as in the summer because it's too miserable for long walks, let alone runs or cycling. Swimming (a huge mental booster for me) is not possible at all since I hate swimming in swimming pools.
I try to fill the void with food which has led to weight gain (I'm fighting to reverse this now but it's extremely hard with this weather). I get frequent digestive issues because of that. My skin looks worse (probably due to indoor heating, dry air and shit air quality). My injuries are nagging me, further making me feel unhealthy.
Mentally I'm a wreck, too. All the most effective stress management tools are not available to me. In the summer (or in warm climates) I get a huge stress reduction from freediving, surfing, swimming or simply being out in the sun.
The periods of time in my life when I felt the healthiest were always in the summer or abroad when I lived for at least a few weeks in a place with excellent weather and water activities.
This is my second honest attempt to see if I can feel good in the winter in Poland (two years ago I did an entire year in Poland, focused on training MMA which I since stopped doing due to the fear of injuries) and I just can't manage that. My mind and body take a huge beating that later requires a few months to recover from (only to happen again if I don't leave in the fall).
Thankfully it's almost March, I'm going to train freediving for two weeks in one of the deepest swimming pools in the world (which happens to be in Poland) and the forecast is finally showing some nicer weather coming soon.
It also helps to know that technically I can leave whenever I want. I just choose not to due to my girlfriend.
When was the last time you had blood work with a complete, thorough panel?
I'd start with Vitamin D, B12, and testosterone.
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