N.o., I wonder if it's possible for them to have a group of friends that are not.
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Free registration at the forum removes this block.N.o., I wonder if it's possible for them to have a group of friends that are not.
I grew up around rich farmers just like thatThere's this rich guy in my hometown, who hangs out with regular guys - just drinking vodka and bsing around
He has a working-class background, and the industry he's in deals with tough, roughneck type workers, who perform hardcore manual labor type of work.
He's a regular dude, doing regular dude things (except for the occasional traveling). It's almost as if he has built a system and he's just using it to make a ton of cash, without identifying as some kind of high-class ''mindsetist''. In a sense, he's the same as he was when he was just another worker.
So of course it's possible - it just depends on what kind of crowds the rich person prefers - if he's fine talking about basic shit, without discussing any intellectual/deep/financial topics, he'll do just fine with less wealthy as long as these people are not leeches.
I am going to argue that it is certainly possible, but unlikely. Studies flat out prove a canyon of belief system divide between the rich and the poor.
The vast majority of the poor believe that wealth means you are lucky.
The majority of the poor believe that if it wasn't luck, it was dishonesty.
The poor believe that the rich should pay higher taxes.
The rich and the poor are interested in vastly different activities and lifestyles.
The rich adopt healthy habits more often then the poor.
The rich are disciplined and the poor are not.
The rich persue goals and the poor do not.
The rich are educated (whether self or traditionally) and the poor put less emphasis on becoming smarter.
Their ideas of a good time are vastly different.
They raise their families in vastly different ways.
They have differing hobbies.
The poor often are hostile of the rich.
The rich have an internal locus and the poor have an external locus of control.
All of this said, I have never met someone that was both happy to be poor and wanted to be friends with me. I don't blame them, because the feeling is mutual. I choose friends I can respect.
This is all notwithstanding the bootstrapping entrepreneurial minded person that is interested in and making the choices that make one wealthy, but isn't there yet. Those people already have the mindset that creates this divide.
I am not one to exclude someone because of how much money they have, but for me to put effort into a friendship with someone, I need to have respect for them in some way. It is the way I am wired. I can't force myself to like someone that makes repeatedly stupid choices and lives the life of a loser.
When you realize it is a choice, it is not a surprise why friend groups reflect similar socioeconomic and political backgrounds.
Bottom line. Choose your friend circle carefully. They can bring you up or bring you down.
This is all so true. It is not me though. I grew up poor and remain such in attitude.
This is all so true. It is not me though. I grew up poor and remain such in attitude.
Each level has its own challenges. My dad used to tell me about the second grader versus his older brother, the seventh grader. The second grader thinks that his older brother has it made. He gets all the privileges and rights that go with being older. The older brother thinks that his younger brother has it easier because the second grade school work is elementary and he's treated more like a baby. The younger brother is not expected to be as responsible. Neither brother can see the other's challenges.I think this all depends on the attitude of the rich person and the non-rich person. I think that both people need to have respect for where others are in their own lives. I have alot of friends that still do the 9 to 5. To be honest, I don't know what half of them do for a living.
You just have to be self aware.
For example, once I asked my friend if she wanted to go see a movie on a weeknight. She asked if we could go on Friday because that's when she got paid. Obviously, there's a big income divide here. I could have just said, don't worry about the ticket, I got it. But my generous offer could have been seen as pity. It's their life, they have a budget and they are sticking to it. Good for them.
If I'm with MJ, I could complain about why my Ferrari sucked and why I got an R8 instead and it would be taken at face value. But doing that within a different crowd and you sound like a bragging douchebag. So you just have to be aware of that.
I have tons of stories to talk about from times of abundance and times of poverty and despair. I pull from this depending on the crowd.I was excited to finally meet you in February... We should have met each other years ago, but we always went to different get togethers. After meeting you, I disagree that you are poor in attitude. You may be unnaturally gifted in being able to relate to both sides, but you do not come across like a poor man, you are a wealth of wisdom.
You come across highly competent, very humble and content. You clearly know what matters to you and what doesn't. I admire the heck out of you. The old Jeeps, RVs and DIY ability make it moreso!
From where I was standing, you were very much at home in an entrepreneurial and high achiever environment.
You might be the biggest anaomoly to the theory I just laid out, on the entire forum, and I was excited to get your perspective before you even found the thread.
Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people? They must know you have been a successful real estate investor. After all, that is literally the first thing everyone asks of one another... "What do you do?"
I am curious, how did they react when you tell them you owned apartments? How do they react when you tell them you own a golf course? In my experience the walls almost immediately go up with a poverty minded person, THEY paint a divide... In contrast, a wealth minded, ambitious person will open up and think it is cool.
The weird thing... ZERO part of me wants to put them in a position where they feel a need to paint a divide... Yet, it is such the case, that I no longer even bother trying to make my career choices less offensive to them. Nor, at this point in my life, do I believe I should have ever done that. I believe in being an entrepreneur and will give them an honest answer to their question. "Yes, I am an entrepreneur and I love what I do." The uncomfortable question almost always comes next... "Do you make a lot of money?" "Yes."
Btw... thanks for the glowing statements about me and my traits. Not 100% accurate but appreciated.I was excited to finally meet you in February... We should have met each other years ago, but we always went to different get togethers. After meeting you, I disagree that you are poor in attitude. You may be unnaturally gifted in being able to relate to both sides, but you do not come across like a poor man, you are a wealth of wisdom.
You come across highly competent, very humble and content. You clearly know what matters to you and what doesn't. I admire the heck out of you. The old Jeeps, RVs and DIY ability make it moreso!
From where I was standing, you were very much at home in an entrepreneurial and high achiever environment.
You might be the biggest anaomoly to the theory I just laid out, on the entire forum, and I was excited to get your perspective before you even found the thread.
Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people? They must know you have been a successful real estate investor. After all, that is literally the first thing everyone asks of one another... "What do you do?"
I am curious, how did they react when you tell them you owned apartments? How do they react when you tell them you own a golf course? In my experience the walls almost immediately go up with a poverty minded person, THEY paint a divide... In contrast, a wealth minded, ambitious person will open up and think it is cool.
The weird thing... ZERO part of me wants to put them in a position where they feel a need to paint a divide... Yet, it is such the case, that I no longer even bother trying to make my career choices less offensive to them. Nor, at this point in my life, do I believe I should have ever done that. I believe in being an entrepreneur and will give them an honest answer to their question. "Yes, I am an entrepreneur and I love what I do." The uncomfortable question almost always comes next... "Do you make a lot of money?" "Yes."
Mostly true. I do know some sidewalkers who know that about themselves and prefer the "safe" route. They also can have great, interesting, and intelligent conversation with fasteners.I don't really care how much money someone has, fortunes are made and lost all the time. I care more about their beliefs and values, certain beliefs attract wealth (monetary and otherwise).
Trust me, you can't be friends with side walkers. They will drag you down if you don't cut them out of your life.
Have you ever felt hostility from poverty minded people?
ust ask, what position did you have @MJ DeMarco play @SteveO ??
I like to fly under the radar too. It's easier. Then I get to ask a lot of questions and get them talking. My success has been more modest than MJ's, but it's still a social problem with a lot of people around me.On a side note: I never talk about my books, my business, my work (or lack of work) unless asked, which driving a Lambo usually inspires questions. I use the same approach about being vegan -- I never talk about it unless I'm asked, or accosted with ignorance.
You making fun of my old work truck? Haha. I was in dire straights for a while and that truck was necessary.I played softball some years ago with lifetime job people who were always complaining about work, money, etc -- I never felt welcome or part of the group which was proven later. I was usually an afterthought for other activities, even some of the games. Im sure they weren't comfortable with the Lambo pulling up to the games or that I was too happy for their own comfort... a remember sitting in silence with no comment as someone bragged about making $80,000 a year as a pharmacy tech just because they spent 3 years in grad school and 6 figures in student loans. All you can do is nod your head and smile approval.
@SteveO was also on some of those teams, he showed up in an old rusty truck. They loved him to death ... I'm guessing because he "stayed in their lane" and he seemed like he was coming straight from his job as a janitor.
Once I took a year hiatus for some needed surgeries and recovery, I was never invited again to play.
On a side note: I never talk about my books, my business, my work (or lack of work) unless asked, which driving a Lambo usually inspires questions. I use the same approach about being vegan -- I never talk about it unless I'm asked, or accosted with ignorance.
Wait... what Lambo do you drive right now???I played softball some years ago with lifetime job people who were always complaining about work, money, etc -- I never felt welcome or part of the group which was proven later. I was usually an afterthought for other activities, even some of the games. Im sure they weren't comfortable with the Lambo pulling up to the games or that I was too happy for their own comfort... a remember sitting in silence with no comment as someone bragged about making $80,000 a year as a pharmacy tech just because they spent 3 years in grad school and 6 figures in student loans. All you can do is nod your head and smile approval.
@SteveO was also on some of those teams, he showed up in an old rusty truck. They loved him to death ... I'm guessing because he "stayed in their lane" and he seemed like he was coming straight from his job as a janitor.
Once I took a year hiatus for some needed surgeries and recovery, I was never invited again to play.
On a side note: I never talk about my books, my business, my work (or lack of work) unless asked, which driving a Lambo usually inspires questions. I use the same approach about being vegan -- I never talk about it unless I'm asked, or accosted with ignorance.
We have some of those old work trucks and old heavy equipment. We don't look like we have much $ either. It works for us and we don't have to explain anything. People are always under estimating us. It's a real advantage most of the time. We just blend in with our surroundings. On the other hand, if we want something, we simply buy it -- but, there's very little that we want at this point in our lives. Who do we have to impress????You making fun of my old work truck? Haha. I was in dire straights for a while and that truck was necessary.
But you are right. I don't look like someone with money. Never have.
Those yips were strange. Lasted a couple years.
They were intimidated by you for sure.
Wait... what Lambo do you drive right now???
If I ever get a truck, it would be a Raptor.
Absolutely agree with you!!I am going to argue that it is certainly possible, but unlikely. Studies flat out prove a canyon of belief system divide between the rich and the poor.
The problem is MINDSET... NOT MONEY.
The vast majority of the poor believe that wealth means you are lucky.
The majority of the poor believe that if it wasn't luck, it was dishonesty.
The poor believe that the rich should pay higher taxes.
The rich and the poor are interested in vastly different activities and lifestyles.
The rich adopt healthy habits more often then the poor.
The rich are disciplined and the poor are not.
The rich persue goals and the poor do not.
The rich are educated (whether self or traditionally) and the poor put less emphasis on becoming smarter.
Their ideas of a good time are vastly different.
They raise their families in vastly different ways.
They have differing hobbies.
The poor often are hostile of the rich.
The rich have an internal locus and the poor have an external locus of control.
All of this said, I have never met someone that was both happy to be poor and wanted to be friends with me. I don't blame them, because the feeling is mutual. I choose friends I can respect.
This is all notwithstanding the bootstrapping entrepreneurial minded person that is interested in and making the choices that make one wealthy, but isn't there yet. Those people already have the mindset that creates this divide.
I am not one to exclude someone because of how much money they have, but for me to put effort into a friendship with someone, I need to have respect for them in some way. It is the way I am wired. I can't force myself to like someone that makes repeatedly stupid choices and lives the life of a loser.
When you realize it is a choice, it is not a surprise why friend groups reflect similar socioeconomic and political backgrounds.
Bottom line. Choose your friend circle carefully. They can bring you up or bring you down.
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Sure! I respect the hustle tremendously! Your book stats are off the freaking charts. You should be proud of that. That is a hell of a lot more reading than I currently do.Absolutely agree with you!!
That being said... I am a truck driver. I have lots of windshield time. In the last year I have listened to about 80 audiobooks and as I look on my audible app... 26 days, 2 hours, and 28 minutes of listening time. Plus podcasts, plus kindle, plus actual books, plus a cool forum, etc. Needless to say, I’m learning. My mindset is and has changed. But unless I tell you this, by looking at me today, you wouldn’t know it. I live in basically a shit apartment, I have an average car, and I haven’t started any business (yet).
Here’s my question, Why would you want to be friends with me?
I understand you have to be able to respect a person. You have to choose your circle of friends wisely. You want to hang out with people smarter than you, that already have what you want. You have to reach up to bigger and better. OK I GET IT. But that means somebody has to reach down. Who wants to reach down?
Value. What value do I bring? None. Ive read a book, big deal.
I’m a flatbed truck driver that doesn’t have a network and doesn’t know where to socialize, oh wait, those days are over.
Wanna be friends??
This is exactly what I was saying earlier!Absolutely agree with you!!
That being said... I am a truck driver. I have lots of windshield time. In the last year I have listened to about 80 audiobooks and as I look on my audible app... 26 days, 2 hours, and 28 minutes of listening time. Plus podcasts, plus kindle, plus actual books, plus a cool forum, etc. Needless to say, I’m learning. My mindset is and has changed. But unless I tell you this, by looking at me today, you wouldn’t know it. I live in basically a shit apartment, I have an average car, and I haven’t started any business (yet).
Here’s my question, Why would you want to be friends with me?
I understand you have to be able to respect a person. You have to choose your circle of friends wisely. You want to hang out with people smarter than you, that already have what you want. You have to reach up to bigger and better. OK I GET IT. But that means somebody has to reach down. Who wants to reach down?
Value. What value do I bring? None. Ive read a book, big deal.
I’m a flatbed truck driver that doesn’t have a network and doesn’t know where to socialize, oh wait, those days are over.
Wanna be friends??
Yes. People like me want to friends with people like you because a bunch of us started exactly where you started. And we wanted more. So, we worked and we worked. And then we worked some more. We learned, Then we struggled to apply what we learned. You're getting ready to join our ranks.Absolutely agree with you!!
That being said... I am a truck driver. I have lots of windshield time. In the last year I have listened to about 80 audiobooks and as I look on my audible app... 26 days, 2 hours, and 28 minutes of listening time. Plus podcasts, plus kindle, plus actual books, plus a cool forum, etc. Needless to say, I’m learning. My mindset is and has changed. But unless I tell you this, by looking at me today, you wouldn’t know it. I live in basically a shit apartment, I have an average car, and I haven’t started any business (yet).
Here’s my question, Why would you want to be friends with me?
I understand you have to be able to respect a person. You have to choose your circle of friends wisely. You want to hang out with people smarter than you, that already have what you want. You have to reach up to bigger and better. OK I GET IT. But that means somebody has to reach down. Who wants to reach down?
Value. What value do I bring? None. Ive read a book, big deal.
I’m a flatbed truck driver that doesn’t have a network and doesn’t know where to socialize, oh wait, those days are over.
Wanna be friends??
In that regard alone, you must be the only vegan who doesn't drop it into the conversation within the first couple of minutes.I use the same approach about being vegan -- I never talk about it unless I'm asked, or accosted with ignorance.
That trait alone is very valuable, and shows that they're conscious of the difference in situations and don't want to cause a problem, therefore value the ability to hang out with you more than the activity. So much nicer than either just picking expensive / extravagant activities or, perhaps worse, picking expensive things and offering to pay for you too. The latter is nice once in a while, but not as a habit.What I have noticed though is, when that person wants to do an activity with me, they don't choose the craziest most expensive activity. They are very considerate in the realization of the differences between our economic status. So it is possible. It just depends on the person.
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