"A Little Too Late"

[Marc B.]

I am writing this post as a stream of consciousness because I believe that true thoughts and feelings are best delivered unfiltered. Please forgive me for any lack of organization, or for any typographical/grammatical errors.

I am creating this thread in response to a few others that I have seen in the People & Relationships section of the forum.

This morning I received news that a friend and former mentor of mine passed away. To make matters worse, I received the message three months late.

Last week I sent an email to an old mentor of mine, Chris, to check in and see how he was doing. We were both part of several home audio and speaker design forums; I followed him to each because the knowledge he had on the subject seemed boundless and often surpassed that of professionals. To add, he was often as objective as possible, and would spend hours on the forums answering questions regardless of their complexity. It was common for Chris to leave a wall-of-text response to a simple question because he didn't want anyone to be misinformed. He was passionate about the trade and wanted to share his feelings with anyone who would listen. His words seldom fell on deaf ears.

He would occasionally build custom speakers for forum members for the cost of materials only. Several years ago his health started to decline inexplicably, and he was unable to finish a project for another member; his body wasn't up to the task. He couldn't afford to reimburse another forum member in full and was banned from the forum for his fraudulent behavior. Many bandwagoners immediately abandoned Chris and made sure, over the next couple years, that he felt unwelcome if he tried to return with a different name.

I kept in touch as best as I could through emails and phone calls (since I couldn't reach him through the forums), but our communication stopped in January when I started my penultimate semester of college. This is where the thread should become more relevant:

I dropped everything that semester. I lost contact with several of my closest friends both in-person and long-distance. I dedicated all of my time to my studies to improve my grade point average and ensure my success. When my semester ended in May, I was glowing with the results of my sacrifices.

Out of sight, out of mind must apply here because it was not in my head to rapidly reconnect with the people I let go. Since the summer, I have slowly but surely been getting back in touch with everyone because my success means nothing to me if I have nobody to share its benefits with. I got to Chris a little too late, and his father had to regrettably tell me that Chris died of a heart attack; he was 36 years old.

I don't regret my sacrifices, but I do regret my lack of urgency. Let this be a lesson because my mentor's passing has left a hole that isn't easily filled. I can say the same about anyone who I stopped talking to if they met the same fate. You may not approve of your friend's lifestyle choices financially or otherwise, but that shouldn't be the reason to abandon them during your own pursuit. Remember who matters most and what they have done for you.

Vigilante, your recent thread regarding your mentor is now more real to me then I ever imagined it would be. Thanks again for sharing.

Everyone take a minute to reflect on the people who have helped you up to this point. It doesn't take long to make a phone call and let someone know, "I'm still thinking about you."

Take care, and thanks for reading.

 

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[Lauryn]

Nz dupfumipdit. Hsiev sief.