Anyone else pissed?

[Brian Suh]

You guys.... really need to work on your response to someone else's experience...... "oh, you're young...." "be glad it wasn't 50 years later!" .... "just be happy that...." are not proper responses to someone dealing with a very life-changing, world-jarring experience.

Imagine if someone told you that they had been raped, but were having trouble coping with the emotional aftermath... would you counter with "You should be happy you weren't murdered!" ... because that's what you're doing to this guy as he's telling you about a very real & emotional experience he's traversing.

I recall feeling this way after leaving the religion I was brought up with... angry about so much of my life wasted (early/mid 20's)... so much time lived in fear.... wasted.... so much time living under guilt & anxiety.... depressing... and then wanting to help others out of it & into the new freedom I'd found. This is the same thing.

Leaving mindsets you've been taught & believed your whole life can be a jarring process. One of the text book responses is anger. Let the guy have his experience. Stop telling him how to feel.

The next part of the process is to want to "free" everyone else & help usher them into the newfound truth you've found. Which can be confusing when you're met with people who will vehemently defend their way of doing things, no matter what you try & tell/show them.

The next part is acceptance that we all get to choose our path in this life & gratefulness that you've seen the light for yourself. Not everyone is going to agree with your viewpoints/choices, but you have to live & let live. You have to come to terms with that to have peace.

Let the guy have his experience. He'll work through the steps of the process & balance out. It's a process, after all. Be a supportive & listening ear.

Thanks for empathizing with this. I understand where people are coming from when they say it is better you learn this now than at 50 but understand, your years under 25 are very VERY formative and will set you apart for the rest of your life. My favorite analogy is two cars going parallel from each other. One car moves 1 degree from the other car. It doesn't look like much in a short period of time but in a longer stretch of time, the cars will be miles away from each other. The earlier you make changes, the more drastic your life will be different.

 

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