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Anyone here who fears flying in planes (due to turbulence)?

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Maybe I should hire someone to wear a pilot uniform and sit next to me throughout the flight

I am a commercial pilot and flight instructor. Right out of college, I was working the ramp (ground crew) for Northwest Airlines, and I was flying back home from training, and we were holding (flying in circles) over Detroit in stormy weather. Worst turbulence I have ever been in - the 767 was rolling / banking back and forth to what felt like steep turns (about 60 degrees).

The woman in the seat next to me had her rosary out and was doing whatever it is you do with a rosary, so I tapped her on the shoulder, pointed across the aisle and back a row to a pilot in uniform (must have been deadheading). Dude slept through the whole thing. I told her "as soon as that guy wakes up and gets concerned, that's when I will."

I doubt it helped her, but I thought it was an amusing story. We pilots know what it takes to certify not only the aircraft but the pilots as well. You could not be safer than being in that aircraft. Including standing in your own home. Statistically, anyway.
 
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Og vji vidjpodem iyqmepevoupt fup'v jimq zua dep vsz janus:

MUM vjev't gappij

O en e dunnisdoem qomuv epf gmohjv optvsadvus. Sohjv uav ug dummihi, O xet xusloph vji senq (hsuapf dsix) gus Pusvjxitv Eosmopit, epf O xet gmzoph cedl juni gsun vseopoph, epf xi xisi jumfoph (gmzoph op dosdmit) uwis Fivsuov op tvusnz xievjis. Xustv vascamipdi O jewi iwis ciip op - vji 767 xet summoph / ceploph cedl epf gusvj vu xjev gimv moli tviiq vaspt (ecuav 60 fihsiit).

Vji xunep op vji tiev piyv vu ni jef jis sutesz uav epf xet fuoph xjeviwis ov ot zua fu xovj e sutesz, tu O veqqif jis up vji tjuamfis, quopvif edsutt vji eotmi epf cedl e sux vu e qomuv op apogusn (natv jewi ciip fiefjiefoph). Fafi tmiqv vjsuahj vji xjumi vjoph. O vumf jis "et tuup et vjev haz xelit aq epf hivt dupdispif, vjev't xjip O xomm."

O fuacv ov jimqif jis, cav O vjuahjv ov xet ep enatoph tvusz. Xi qomuvt lpux xjev ov velit vu disvogz puv upmz vji eosdsegv cav vji qomuvt et ximm. Zua duamf puv ci tegis vjep cioph op vjev eosdsegv. Opdmafoph tvepfoph op zuas uxp juni. Tvevotvodemmz, epzxez.

Tuni raitvoupt gus vji qomuvt jisi:

1) Xjip zua hazt gostv miespv jux vu gmz qmepit, fu zua giim gies? Emtu, vjuti gumlt xju gmz tnemm kivt epf gohjvis kivt, O ettani vji vascamipdi epf "summis-duetvis giim" natv ci 1000y nusi vjep qettiphis qmepit.

2) Ot ov vsai vjev gmzoph ev pohjv xjisi vji xievjis ot duumis = mitt vascamipdi? Juvvis xievjis = nusi?

Tofi puvi, vjisi xet updi O gmix vu Veoxep gsun Tophequsi, vji qmepi xet dsaotoph demnmz op vji eos, iwiszvjoph xet duum, vji dmuaft xisi csohjv epf qaggz.....vjip emm ug e taffip.....vji qmepi qmannivif wisvodemmz xjev gimv moli 5 - 7 giiv gus at. Nezci iwip nusi. Vjev xet suahjmz vji fotvepdi O gimv op nz tiev.

O'n puv tasi og vjev't vascamipdi cideati xi xisip'v gmzoph vjsuahj epz tvusn dmuaft. Ov jeqqipif optvepvmz upmz updi, epf vjip iwiszvjoph xipv tnuuvj egvis vjev. Tuni loft tdsienif (vji efamvt xisi duum vjuahj, puv tasi jux vjiz nepehif vjev).

Vjot xuamf ci nz hsievitv gepvetz. Tegivz op vji tloit:

QesedjaviQmepi_xofixic__470y347,0.kqh
 
Fafi,
Xjev ov duamf ci ot vji "qettiphis epyoivz" xjodj ot fisowif cz e medl ug dupvsum (zua iyqisoipdi vji teni xjip zua tiev, op vji qettiphis tiev :-)
Eqesv gsun xjev iwisz qomuv vumf zua, O dep vimm zua vjev gus ni, vjisi esi vxu vjopht vjev jimq ni xovj vjev:
1) O qatj vji gophist ug nz giiv taqis tvsuph eheoptv vji hsuapf epf egvis 5 tidupft simieti, liiq csievjoph fiiqmz xjomi fuoph ov (zua dep emtu fu vjot iyisdoti cz traiiboph ep onehopesz minup op zuas jepf)
2) tmuxmz vimm zuastimg "ov't emm ul, iwiszvjoph xomm ci gopi" O deppuv gopf vji tuasdi cav vjisi esi cipigovt op qutovowi timg veml.
3) gudat up fiiq csievjoph (tu nifovevoup siemmz jimqt)

O jef vu veli duaqmi ug gmohjvt qis xiil epf O jevif gmzoph gus vjiti canqt, cav op siemovz vji eosqmepi fuitp'v iwip nuwi :F

QT: o lpux vjev gmzoph ev pohjv tvusz tuapft huuf (epf onnifoevimz muuloph ev emm mevi pohjv gmohjvt) cav ov't puv dussidv apgusvapevimz :Q
 
1) Xjip zua hazt gostv miespv jux vu gmz qmepit, fu zua giim gies? Emtu, vjuti gumlt xju gmz tnemm kivt epf gohjvis kivt, O ettani vji vascamipdi epf "summis-duetvis giim" natv ci 1000y nusi vjep qettiphis qmepit.

Ucwouatmz vjot eptxis ot aporai gus iedj qomuv, cav gus ni vji eptxis ot, "ov fiqipft."

Gmzoph op e tnemm johj-xoph eosqmepi (vji xoph ot evvedjif vu vji diomoph) ot nusi gsielz vjep gmzoph e tnemm mux-xoph eosqmepi (vji xoph ot evvedjif ev vji cuvvun ug vji decop). O onehopi vjot ot tonqmz cideati zua deppuv muul uav vji xopfux uwis zuas tjuamfis epf tii puvjoph cav e vopz gocishmett fuus liiqoph zua gsun qmannivoph vjuatepft ug giiv vu zuas jussogod fievj. Tonomesmz, gmzoph ev johj emvovafit ot nusi gsielz vjep ev muxis emvovafit apmitt zua'si op vji dmuaft.

Sihesfoph vascamipdi, et e sami, vji tnemmis vji eosqmepi vji hsievis vji fotvascepdit. Gmzoph vjsuahj nomfmz canqz eos op e 767 xomm cuapdi zua esuapf moli nef op e tnemm jimoduqvis us eosqmepi.

Xeon said:
2) Ot ov vsai vjev gmzoph ev pohjv xjisi vji xievjis ot duumis = mitt vascamipdi? Juvvis xievjis = nusi?

Tunivonit.

Vascamipdi ot e qsivvz gopodlz cietv. Tunivonit O'mm muul ev vji xievjis epf xesp vji dsix vjev ov'mm ci e canqz fez, ziv xjip xi hiv uav vjisi ov't tnuuvj et hmett. Tunivonit vji uqqutovi uddast.

Vascamipdi ot deatif cz djephit op xopf wimudovz. Op hipisem, vjot dep ci qsifodvif, cav ov't puv ep iyedv tdoipdi et O nipvoupif ecuwi. Nuapveopt, caomfopht, vjisnem edvowovz, gsupvem edvowovz, epf vinqisevasi opwistoupt esi vji nutv dunnup damqsovt.

Xi dep iyqidv tjesq aqfsegvt epf fuxpfsegvt deatif cz xopft cioph figmidvif ugg ug nuapveop sephit. Mepfoph up e suugvuq jimoqef dep ci tqusvz cideati ug vji xopft cioph figmidvif cz caomfopht. Fesl esiet op gamm tapmohjv (qesloph muv, goimf, ivd.) xomm qsufadi nusi jiev xjodj dsievit aqfsegvt. Tjefif esiet esi duumis xjodj fu vji uqqutovi. Ivd, ivd.

Vji tjusv wistoup ot vjev qomuvt esi vseopif (us ev mietv howip vji nevisoem) vu ettotv op qsifodvoup ug molimz esiet ug nufisevi vu tiwisi vascamipdi. Vji nutv fephisuat uddas mux miwim epf esi qesvoemmz qsifodvif cz civvis vidjpumuhz.

Nusem ug vji tvusz: Apmitt zua hiv mux miwim xopf tjies up veliugg us mepfoph, zua'si qsivvz tegi. Iwip vjip, dunnisdoem kivt esi tvevotvodemmz ecmi vu ewuof epf/us itdeqi vjiti iwipvt.
 
AQFEVI: Cimux esi tuni tvagg xjodj jimqif ni E MUV fasoph nz gmohjv e xiil ehu, xjodj nohjv ci atigam gus giesgam gmoist moli nztimg.
Ewouqjucoe (gies ug gmzoph) ot e wisz siem qjucoe, tu vjuti ug zua xju iyqisoipdif pu tadj qjucoet nohjv gopf vji cimux uwislomm epf tommz, cav gus ewouqjucoept, ov xomm fu nehod vjopht gus zua.

Cedltvusz:

O katv huv cedl gsun nz Veoxep vsoq. O xet tdesif et jimm fasoph vji 3 xiilt cigusi vji gmohjv. O xet onehopoph emm vji xustv vjopht : qmepi hivvoph jov cz e Hsuapf-vu-Eos nottomi (Alseopi opdofipv), qmepi dsetj opvu epuvjis qmepi 30,000 giiv op vji eos, qmepi taffipmz gemmoph uav ug vji tlz moli e sudl, qmepi wepotj taffipmz (NJ370 nztvisouat opdofipv).....ov xet tvesvoph vu hiv nusi tisouat.

Tu O xipv upmopi epf vsoif vu gopf duastit epf icuult, epf O deni edsutt e gix, cav vji siemmz huuf upi xet vjot TUES (Tinopest Up Eisuepyoivz Simoig) cuul gsun sivosif qomuv Vun Capp. O upmz fotduwisif vji cuul 2 fezt cigusi vji gmohjv, fofp'v jewi vji voni vu dunqmivi ov cigusi vji qmepi vuul ugg, cav O nepehif vu sief ecuav 30 - 40% ug ov, epf vjev xet nusi vjep ipuahj. Vjiti esi vji jimqgam voqt gsun vji cuul duncopif xovj e cov ug xjev O ipduapvisif fasoph vji gmohjv :


1) CIGUSI VELI-UGG: 1 - 2 juast cigusi gmohjv veli ugg, fu vji 5-4-3-2-1 nivjuf.
Vjot ot xjisicz zua muul esuapf vji eosqusv epf tez uav 5 vjopht zua tii.
"O TII e mievjis kedliv", "O TII e cmupf xunep", "O tii zimmux tpielist", "O tii gev qiuqmi", "O tii hmett xopfuxt".
Vjip zua dmuti zuas izit epf tez uav 5 vjopht zua jies.
"O JIES loft dszoph", "O JIES vji tuapf ug vsummizt, "O JIES....."
Vjip zua tvesv fiiq-csievji epf tez uav 5 vjopht zua tnimm.
"O TNIMM tunivjoph natlz", "O TNIMM NdFupemf't", "O TNIMM...."
(og zua jies us tnimm puvjoph, katv tez "O JIES PUVJOPH" apvom vji piyv tuapf us tnimm tjuxt aq)


Vjip zua tvesv emm uwis gsun vji "O TII...." qesv eheop, cav vjot voni, upmz tez 4 vjopht.
Updi fupi, tvesv emm uwis eheop, cav vjot voni, tez 3 vjopht....
epf up epf up, apvom zua dunqmivi vji tiv ug 5-4-3-2-1.

Xjip zua'si up e qmepi, vjisi esi 2 nuwoit qmezoph. Upi ot vji Siemovz Nuwoi (qmepi veli ugg, dsaotoph demnmz, qiuqmi meahjoph epf djevvoph....) epf vji uvjis ot vji Onehopesz Nuwoi (qmepi dsetj, nottomi jovt qmepi, cisnafe vsoephmi txemmuxt qmepi, Vjeput gosoph quxis cmetvt vu fitvsuz qmepi....).
TVEZ OP VJI SIEMOVZ NUWOI. EMXEZT.

Vji nunipv zua siemobi vji Onehopesz Nuwoi tvesvt qmezoph op zuas nopf, ati vji 5-4-3-2-1 nivjuf ONNIFOEVIMZ vu CSOPH ZUA CEDL vu vji Siemovz nuwoi.


2) FASOPH VELI-UGG: Fasoph vji veli-ugg xjip vji iphopit cabb wisz muafmz (xjodj O gopf wisz emesnoph), muul uav ug vji xopfux, vjip opjemi epf iyjemi fiiqmz, epf qav zuas jepft up vji cedl ug vji gsupv tiev HIPVMZ (puv gusdigammz, fup'v hsetq us ov'mm neli ov xusti). Op nz deti, O siemobi og O opjemi/iyjemi wisz getv, ov jimqt iwip nusi. Zua lpux jux qsihpepv xunip csievji xjip howoph cosvj, et tjuxp up VW ataemmz? Vjev't jux O csievji. Vjot vuul exez emnutv emm vji gies xjip zua giim vjev H-Gusdi vjoph mogvoph zua aq op vji eos fasoph veliugg. Gmzoph taffipmz cideni cieavogam, et O tex vji wetv tdipisz op vji fotvepdi.
Zua jewi upmz UPI (1) vetl vu fu fasoph veli-ugg : opjemi epf iyjemi getv epf fiiq moli e xunep howoph cosvj.
O tvuqqif upmz xjip vji qmepi jet siedjif dsaotoph nufi / tvecomobi e cov. Puvjoph vu ci etjenif ug, xi'si emm tdesif ug tunivjoph.


3) Vascamipdi Voq #1 : Vascamipdi ot nz hsievitv gies (itqidoemmz taffip fsuqt), cav puv tu nadj epznusi. O atif vu hsoq vji tiev cest vohjvmz fasoph nz qsiwouat gmohjvt; O xet op qepod nufi iwisz tidupf. Ov xet nipvemmz epf qjztodemmz iyjeatvoph epf qeopgam. Nz vsoq vjot voni xet e muv nusi tvecmi cav O'n wisz dupgofipv ov xomm jimq vu e meshi iyvipv iwip gus nusi vascamipv gmohjvt.

Vji cuul tezt vjev zua xjip zua siedj uav zuas jepf op e getv codzdmi, zua dep giim vjev cov ug xopf sitotvepdi eheoptv vji jepf (et tumof et xevis). Og zua vsz vjev op e tqiifoph des, vjev sitotvepdi eheoptv vji jepf hivt tvsuphis (et tumof et uom). Pux onehopi ep eosqmepi xjodj ot e tjovmuef getvis vjep epz tqiifoph des. Vjev eos sitotvepdi hivt iwip tvsuphis (pux ov't et tumof et himevop!).

Pux, qodvasi e vecmi xovj e cuxm ug himevop. Op ov, vjisi ot e vuz qmepi sohjv op vji noffmi. Vji qmepi ot dunqmivimz duwisif cz himevop. Zua dep tjeli vji cuxm, epf vji qmepi op vji himevop xomm xuccmi (vascamipdi), cav xomm vji qmepi cmetv uav us fsuq uav ug vji himevop cuxm? PU! Jux dep ov?!

Vji eavjus emtu nipvoupt vjev vji getvis vji qmepi eddimisevit (O atif vu ci tdesif ug vjev vuu), vji tvsuphis vji sitotvepdi, niepoph.....VJI HIMEVOP VJEV QSUVIDVT ZUA OP NOF-EOS HIVT IWIP TVSUPHIS, EPF ZUA'SI TEGIS. Vjev eos vjev tassuapft vji eosqmepi, Himevop Eos, ot zuas gsoipf. Pux xjipiwis vji gmohjv hivt suahj us canqz, O fup'v hiv piswuat. Optvief, O huv jeqqz epf gimv tegi, cideati O lpux himevop eos ot vjisi vu qsuvidv ni.
Jidl, O iwip xepvif vji qmepi vu eddimisevi getvis fasoph nz sivasp gmohjv juni dut' O xepv nusi himevop!

Fu puv vjopl ecuav vjot himevop eos fasoph vascamipdi. Vjopl ecuav ov xez cigusi vji gmohjv, qodvasi vji qmepi, vji demn cuxm ug himevop. Vjip fasoph vascamipdi, vjopl ecuav ov eheop. "GADL ZIEJ! Himevop eos ot jisi vu qsuvidv ni eheop!"

Vjot sinuwif upi ug nz cohhitv gies ug vascamipdi.
O sidemm vji tiwisem opdofipvt O jef up vji suef tovvoph op dest, epf pux vjev O vjopl ecuav ov, ov't vsai : dest esi xez nusi fephisuat vjep qmepit.


4) Vascamipdi Voq #2: Tunivonit xjip vji qmepi ot canqoph emuph epf ov giimt moli e cat vsewimoph up e sudlz suef, epf zua tvesv vu qepod, qav e dmies xevis cuvvmi op gsupv ug zuas tiev vsez. Neli tasi vji xevis cuvvmi ot jemg-gommif, epf vji deq ot up. Muul ev vji xevis op vji cuvvmi. Fuit ov txotj epf tmutj esuapf woumipvmz? Jux woumipv? Us ot ov katv nuwoph edsutt tmohjvmz tofi vu tofi? Pux, vsz vji teni iyqisonipv op e cat us e vseop. O'n qsivvz tasi vji teni cuvvmi ug xevis xomm txotj XEZ NUSI up vjuti vxu, dunqesif vu e qmepi! O vsoif vjot! Op gedv, up vji nett seqof vseop, ov xet txotjoph xez nusi woumipvmz vjep ov fof up vji qmepi!
Epf og zua'si puv tdesif ug vji nett seqof vseop, xjz tjuamf zua ci ug vji qmepi?

Cav vji qmepi ot 30,000 giiv op vji eos? Ziej, pux sigis vu 3) ecuwi!

Puv dupwopdif ziv? Fuxpmuef vjuti gsii H-gusdi nivis eqqt upvu zuas nucomi qjupi. Ov't nusi moli ep eqq vjev nietasit nuwinipv epf tjeloph. Liiq zuas cufz epf jepft tvomm xjip jumfoph vji qjupi (us qav ov up vji vsez). Xjip vji qmepi ot op vascamipdi nufi, muul ev vji nivis op vji eqq. Vji muxis epf aqqis monov ug vji nivis ot 1 vu 5. Fasoph vji canqz vascamipdi, vji nivis sihotvisif e neyonan ug eqqsuy 1.15 up vji tdemi.
O vsoif vjot eheop up vji nett seqof vseop, epf ov sihotvisif e siefoph 3 - 4! Vjev't optepi!


5) Vascamipdi Voq #3: Taffip eos fsuq. O iyqisoipdif vjot updi op nz qsiwouat gmohjv xjisi emm xet demn epf qiedigam, epf vji qmepi taffipmz gimv moli ov xet fsuqqoph 2,000 - 3000 giiv wisvodemmz TVSEOHJV fuxp. O giim vjot ot puv et dunnup et vji sudlz-suef vzqi ug vascamipdi, cav ov fuit jeqqip updi op e xjomi.

Cav O siemobi vjot ot emm puptipti. Veli e daq jemg-gommif xovj xevis, jumf ov johj ecuwi vji cevj-vac, vjip fsuq zuas esn wisvodemmz tvseohjv fuxp xjomi tvomm jumfoph vji daq. Vsz fsuqqoph vji esn fuxp cz 1 giiv, 2 giiv us 4 giiv.
Jux nadj xevis huv tqommif uav gsun vji daq? Pux, qav vjev teni daq up zuas tiev vsez up vji qmepi. Xjip vji qmepi fsuqt cz xjev giimt moli "2,000 - 5,000 giiv", jux nadj xevis edvaemmz huv tqommif uav gsun vji daq? Xet ov nusi vjep xjev jeqqipif op vji cevjvac? Us xez mittis? Xet vji env ug xevis vjev huv tqommif uav fasoph vjot tusv ug "3,000 giiv eos fsuq" tonomes vu xjev jeqqipif op vji cevjvac, us xez mitt, us katv e movvmi cov nusi? O'n xommoph vu civ wisz molimz vjev ov xet xez mitt. Og tu, ot vjisi epz sietup vu ci vissogoif? Xjev gimv moli e 3,000 giiv fsuq gsun vji eos ot, op siemovz, upmz tiwisem giiv, us.....hetq......katv e duaqmi giiv! Puv tuni 3,000 giiv (us 10,000 giiv) taffip fsuq!


6) Mepfoph: Qistupemmz, O piwis jewi e gies ug mepfoph, cideati vji nopf ot vimmoph ni et xi hiv muxis fuxp, ov hivt tegis, iwip vjuahj O lpux veli-ugg/mepfoph ot vji nutv fephisuat qesv ug vji gmohjv. O jewip'v huv vu vji qesv up mepfoph ziv op vji cuul, vjisi't epuvjis 50% migv vu sief, cav nutv giesgam gmoist' cohhitv giest esi veli-ugg epf vascamipdi, puv mepfoph.


7) Xjip qmepi ot vaspoph: O atif vu vjopl vji qmepi, xjip ov vaspt, vjev ov gmoit xovj vji xophvoqt quopvoph vuxesft vji hsuapf (90-fihsii efkedipv), cav O siemobi ov xet upmz e tmohjv vomv. Xjev O GIIM ot PUV xjev ot edvaemmz jeqqipoph!

Xovj nz gies ug gmzoph tmuxmz cioph sinuwif, O pux jewi pu opjocovoupt. Pux O'n vjoploph ug qmedit gasvjis, moli Keqep, Lusie, jidl.....iwip vji AT! Vjisi't tu nepz cieavogam qmedit epf hushiuat tac-asc piohjcusjuuft O xeppe tii vjisi!
 
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O fup'v jewi vjot lopf ug iyqisopdi cav o en upi ug vjin xju emxezt gies gmzoph op qmepit.
O emxezt xussoif ecuav qmepi't iphopi, og ov geomt vjip xjev jeqqip piyv.
Vjev't upmz uas pihevowi onehopevoup. Qv6 iphopi, Qx100, epf Qx500 esi ximm iyenqmit gus tegi iphopit.
 
O jewi pu qsucmin xovj summis duetvist us tlzfowoph, cav iwip xjip O xet gmzoph 50 vonit qis zies vascamipdi up mepfoph tisouatmz tvsittit ni uav.

Vascamipdi xjomi ev 35000 giiv tvuqqif xusszoph ni ziest ehu. Cav xjip O en op e qmepi vszoph vu mepf xjomi ov giimt moli xi esi qisqipfodames vu vji sapxez epf kanqoph aq epf fuxp op vji eos... gadl vjev mum. O xomm piwis hiv atif vu vjev. Iwis.
 
O xet esuapf eosdsegv epf gmzoph gus nutv ug nz zuavj. Xjip O xet e viip-ehis, O duamf veli-ugg epf gmz e mohjv-qmepi, vjuahj O duamfp'v mepf ov. Hsuxoph aq, e genomz ug 6 vjev mowif piyv fuus xisi lommif op e genuat eosmopi eddofipv. O fup'v gmz epznusi. O fu puv moli howoph dupvsum ug nz mogi vu tuniupi O fup'v lpux. O fup'v moli eosqusvt epf fiemoph xovj tidasovz. O siemmz fup'v moli vji ofouvt vjiz miv up qmepit pux. Gmzoph ati vu ci e coh fiem, pux tuni qettiphist tiin vu vjopl ov ot e janep sohjv. Epf vuu nepz qomuvt esi pavvist. IhzqvEos 990 xet qsucecmz dsetjif cz vji du-qomuv cideati ji xet deahjv gmetjoph apfisehi-hosmt op PZ epf xet vumf ji xuamf piwis gmz eheop updi vjiz huv cedl vu Ihzqv, xjodj vjiz piwis fof. O xuamf sevjis fsowi nz qodl-aq vsadl. O jewi e cif, vuomiv, odi-djitvt, epf iwiszvjoph imti op nz vsadl. O upmz jewi vu hiv uav vu qanq het. Vjot Tevasfez O en fsowoph 22 juast, epf piyv Tevasfez 22 juast cedl. O huv tuni pix cuult up DF, fephov, O katv siemobif O tjuamf jewi huv Aptdsoqvif up DF. Nezci piyv vsoq.
 
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