Buzzfeed: Tony Robbins accused of sexual misconduct

[BellaPippin]

I'm glad you said it, because I don't think these words are nearly as powerful coming from a man.

I've been sat next to the guy on the crowded NYC subway who whips out his dick and starts masturbating.

As a man, I've turned it into a funny party story (one that people request I tell over and over again). I can't even imagine how I would have felt if I were a woman; I haven't even tried until now. I admit, it was scary for me because this guy clearly had nothing to lose and was off his rocker.

As a woman, it would have been terrifying.

Every woman I've hired or worked with has had stories of a boss or superior being incredibly inappropriate.

One woman was flat out told she wouldn't get a raise because she was sleeping with the boss, which never happened. The boss was just telling people that. She wound up going to HR and providing written proof of this, and they gave her 6 months pay just to keep her quiet. Sounds great for her, right?

Well, that's until you realize this guy got a relatively cheap pass to figure out what doesn't work, and has an opportunity to figure out how to abuse another woman.

On the flip side, we're entering a state where any woman can claim abuse even if it's unfounded. Several years ago in my first job out of college, one of my female friends in the office had a crush on me, but I wasn't interested. When I told her I'd rather be friends, she told HR that I was making unwanted sexual advances at her, and they threatened to fire me even though they knew it was baseless.

Whenever something like this comes up, I really try to use my head and not make judgement on either party unless there's overwhelming evidence (cough cough, R. Kelly)

I don't have any answers here, aside from that I try to follow the Golden Rule and treat everyone with respect.

It's a minefield out there, ya'll.

Thanks man. For the record I also hate that people take advantage of these things. It delegitimizes the claims of people who actually have something to deal with and it's just plain.... such a low, disgusting thing to do. I'm sorry you came across one of those people. Also there's cray girls out there being raised just as shallow as some men thanks to all the trash out there thinking it's ok to treat guys like garbage. Or that when they take a chance to try to approach you the best way to turn them down is to humiliate them. That enrages me just as much. We humans can be gold or trash, gender is irrelevant.

I love every word you said.

I'm torn because on the one hand MeToo is taken to disgusting extremes. Ruining someone's exemplary life because of something they may have done 40 years ago leads to no place good. Not for the individual, not for society.

On the other, our treatment of women is often abhorrent as Bella relates above. Not all men, not even most men, but some men do this, and it needs to be punished.

MeToo is like a prescription drug. Its pretty powerful, but comes with some dangerous side effects. Like powerful drugs in medicine, it should be used only where necessary. When its no longer necessary, we need to switch to something more appropriate.

We as a society aren't good at judging when we've gone too far, and we're also not good at backing off when its the time to do so. Perhaps people like Tony Robbins can help wean us off of MeToo and get us moving in a more productive direction.

Thanks Jon.

The media (Buzzfeed included) is soooo inflamatory. It's never been easier to just strike a match and light someone on fire without evidence. The helplessness goes both ways, whether if they are innocent or if you are telling the truth, more often than not you can't prove it anyway. It's hard at least for me to judge and say "this person came out 10 years later because now they are emotionally ready to say something" or assume well, the interview money and the media attention is also nice, isn't it?! How do you know??? You can't. It's literally someone's word against the other person's. Maybe it's a bit of both.

Sometimes I tell myself my ex is living his life all fine and dandy, and that he could abuse someone else. That I should have said something or what if I actually pressed charges now? But I don't have proof. At least nothing that would be solid in a court room. All I can do is support people and raise some awareness. I could go on a revenge crusade but I rather move on, I don't wanna see his face again. And I'm cautious of what I say because I don't want to be associated with the men haters. Good men get hurt too by all this circus. Heck good men get abused too. I hate it’s a war of the sexes, people are so blind on both sides. As usual a lot of good people end up in the same bag as the loud dumb ones.

Point was...The media skews the perception of everything towards the wrong way, because that is what sells. We know that. For bad or for good if we "have to be careful" I think at least that encourages thinking before acting/talking...even if sometimes we end up overthinking some things. Hopefully with time we can balance it out and not be so sensitive either. Most of the conversations I've been in, however, people are chill and don't need an algorithm to know what to say and aren't oversensitive either. The only time I see this drama is media.

It is more important than ever to use our critical thinking and advocating for common sense and fairness at the level we each can, however futile it may seem, instead of being men vs women it should be us vs toxic people.

 

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