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If friendships are not your priority, are there any projects you have wanted to work on? I find that I am most excited to wake in the morning when I have a medium-term project (2 to 6 months) to look forward to working on outside of business.
I'm working on a long-distance open water swimming goal now but I guess it's not enough to give me much meaning. If anything, it adds dread to my life because I'm stressing out I need to get it done before the end of the season. And that may actually take away some of the enjoyment of just swimming without any goals.
Not sure if any of this will help you, but as someone who once had a very nihilistic worldview and extreme existential dread, I now
I think you wanted to add something more here.
A few weeks ago, I had to drive 11 hours to pick up a dog that I fostered that was returned to the rescue. My parents think I'm crazy to do things like that. They think I'm wasting 22 hours of my life. But I honestly, have nothing else going on.
So the night before I drove 2 hours and got a room at a Motel 6 in a small town. Went to sleep at midnight and woke up at 6am ready to drive another 9 hours. Picked up the dog at 4pm. A few days later drove her back another 11 hours to my place. Normally, I have trouble waking up in the morning, but because I had a goal that day, it was easy. The drive was easy. I felt a sense of accomplishment.
Now, my normal everyday life is waking up at 9am and wondering what to do. I'm usually doing house stuff. Yesterday I put up shelves in the laundry room. Today, I installed new lights in the garage. Yeah it's busy work but nothing near as fulfilling as picking up the dog.
I think the answer to get excited about waking up is to have something meaningful to do that day. It doesn't have to be everyday, but you must fill it at least once a week or every two weeks.
Do you ever just wake up and look forward to a dinner reservation? Or look forward to going to a movie? They don't need to be big things, they just need to be things...
Have you ever found any resources or talked with other people who are similar to you in that aspect that you're free to do whatever you want and you're wondering what to do?
It may be a first world problem but it's a rare problem so it's hard to find solutions. It's very hard for people to relate to that because if you're hustling toward that goal, you can't even imagine that once you reach it, you'll lose all drive in life.
Because objectively, you're an extremely intelligent and talented guy yet you choose to (no offense) spend your days putting up some random shelves in the laundry room. So you're doing pretty much the opposite thing of what most people recommend here: you spend your time on the least meaningful thing you can find.
Sounds like depression based on all of your responses to people in here. I was depressed and had terrible anxiety for most of my 20's. I started seeing a therapist and pyschiatrist and got on a low dose of Lexapro. It wasn't perfect but it really helped me get out of my funk. After about a year on it I tapered off of it and feel great most times. If it is depression dont be afraid to get help. It's not weak to get help from professionals.
It probably is depression. And I don't see a therapist being able to address it. It's a philosophical problem. I don't trust doctors, let alone therapists who are incentivized to come up with random mental illnesses to keep you hooked on their "therapy." And what is a therapist supposed to tell me? "Come on man, life has purpose" (while it has none)?
As for drugs, I wouldn't touch that shit with a ten-foot pole. Maybe they help suicidal people but I'm not suicidal (I'm too scared of death).
I'm with MTF on this one. I don't wake up excited in the morning most of the time.
I don't control the mood I'm in when I wake up (directly), it just happens unconsciously. It's a little f*cked up when I think about it; it's as if my brain is withholding the excitement from itself?
It could signal that the unconscious doesn't approve of your life's general direction maybe? Having a personally meaningful purpose/goal seem required from what I'm reading. Maybe it's a problem of self-knowledge.
Or maybe it's just a chemical thing like others are mentioning.
What if you don't believe in the existence of a meaningful purpose? Or if your life was only about one purpose and once you reach it, you've served your purpose?
It may be a problem of self-knowledge but I've never been able to figure it out. I did try to figure out my life's new general direction. Not sure if the following is going to help you but maybe it will...
For many years I was driven by my goal to build a house for my parents. Once I achieved that (and retired myself), it feels as if I served my purpose.
I used to believe that my next big goal would be to find a place somewhere tropical where I could buy a house. But the reality is that I can't be bothered to work more to make money to afford it. I also can't find any place that fits my requirements so it's a completely abstract goal as I don't even know where I would want to buy it. Perhaps if I knew a specific place, specific prices, etc. then I'd be more motivated to pursue it.
I also had thoughts that I could focus on sports or adventures but the reality is that I'll never become even 10% as good as top performers (even less so with my high frequency of injuries). So why bother obsessing so much about it only to end up mediocre at best? In today's world it's often not even about the ability itself but about selling yourself (those who shout the loudest get all the rewards).
I also had some pro-environmental goals but then I realized it's too much work and there are others who are doing it much better than I can ever hope to do it (or there are others with other goals who will win against me, for example the local council won't allow to plant a forest because they'd rather make money selling residential lots). So again, why bother? My involvement changes F*ck all.
I feel it’s been said to you @MTF, maybe I’m wrong, but it’s apparent you need bigger or perhaps more impactful goals. Think beyond yourself and your family.
The thing is that I know that these bigger goals won't change anything in my life. I know there's nothing on the other side so why bother?
I guess my question is: what's the point of living from one goal to another instead of having a goalless life? To me, people set goals purely because they want to keep themselves occupied because the alternative (reality) is too scary. Sort of like people believing in god(s).
For example, I'm working on a long-distance open water swimming goal now. I know nothing will change when I reach it. Yeah, my muscles will build some endurance but that's it. I'm doing it purely to keep myself occupied and have something to work toward to when swimming but I'm not fooling myself it has any purpose because it has none.
----
Yeah I know how resigned it all sounds. My curse is that I spend way too much time thinking how insignificant everything is, obsessing about death (I think about it multiple times every day) and that I can't accept the passage of time and it makes me even more depressed.
There are still things that I enjoy doing, some even a lot, but I'm just not fooling myself there's some kind of a meaningful purpose to them. They give me joy when I do them but it's not like I wake up REALLY excited to do them.
I feel kind of stupid having asked this question in the first place as it has led to this depressing thread that doesn't help anyone.
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