I don't expect to get much response from this thread, nor do I expect validation. I just needed a medium to vent (and perhaps, something to look back on).
Today is just one of those days. I'm typically a happy, motivated person. Looking back, for most of my life I've been stuck in the slow lane. Get good grades, go to college, get a job. W-t-f!
Straight out of college, I knew the corporate work-until-you-die life isn't for me. I wanted freedom, and I wanted to be very successful. So, I started my first venture. It failed. I lost about $20,000. I could go over all of the reasons it failed, but I've been over them before. The biggest reason, in my opinion, is that it was a limited idea and always had a strong cap of how far I could really take it. The second part, is I wasn't willing to put in and sacrifice to make it work (I didn't realize how much sacrifice starting a business would take. The third was working with a partner.
Also, at this time, I didn't have a job as I had some cash reserves. This was really poor judgment on my part. So, I ran out of money, had to move back up North, and got a job.
I've already detailed my second failure (although it never got off the ground) in my e-commerce thread.
Fast forward to today, and I realize why being in the slowlane sucks. Lack of control of your life, future, income, living situation, and more. I moved into a new place, the landlord (who lives there) is really controlling and telling me I can't cook past 8:30, etc. I've been working on my business at home, and I almost can't stand to be there lately. I realized I have no control in this situation but to move to another place. Well, looked at places online and realized I don't really like living with other people all that much, especially if I don't know them. I can't really afford a place on my own (rent is expensive in California). So, definitely, the slowlane is about a lack of control and I'm definitely realizing that now.
Also, I know people that make less money with me that have a motorcycle, nice car, and a house. I have no idea how they afford it (lots of debt?). Maybe, I don't know, but I need to get out of the rat trap.
Furthermore, my day job is moving and making my commute of 45 minutes to an hour instead of 15 minutes. Also, I don't particularly like working with some of the people at my company, and I don't get paid all that well. Yes, I am CHOOSING to work there, so I can't complain about it. Again, lack of control in the slow lane. I don’t want to waste time by looking for another slowlane job, but I also don’t want to drive and take up more of my day for my current job. Shit, I should just get a night job as a bartender or something!
Also, I’m dating this girl, and I’m not really sure where it’s going or if I’m wasting my time with her. I just don’t know, but I certainly know I don’t really have the time to put in dating anyone else for finding a new girl, or even if I should care about getting laid or companionship at this point in my life.
And, I’ve lost a little confidence in my “fastlane†business project, so the wind has been taken out of my sails a little bit. I just don’t know what to do. I’m sure everyone has days/weeks like this, but goddamn, this sucks. Sometimes I think well maybe I should take the easy way out and work for a living, but then I remember how unhappy I would be, and I’d have to be someone else’s slave for the next 30 years. F*ck that!
I just want control over my life, destiny, and income. I don’t want to top out at some income level, or trade my weekdays for weekends and a 401k. Again, I’m not looking for sympathy. I just needed to vent and put some thoughts down on paper.
Today is just one of those days. I'm typically a happy, motivated person. Looking back, for most of my life I've been stuck in the slow lane. Get good grades, go to college, get a job. W-t-f!
Straight out of college, I knew the corporate work-until-you-die life isn't for me. I wanted freedom, and I wanted to be very successful. So, I started my first venture. It failed. I lost about $20,000. I could go over all of the reasons it failed, but I've been over them before. The biggest reason, in my opinion, is that it was a limited idea and always had a strong cap of how far I could really take it. The second part, is I wasn't willing to put in and sacrifice to make it work (I didn't realize how much sacrifice starting a business would take. The third was working with a partner.
Also, at this time, I didn't have a job as I had some cash reserves. This was really poor judgment on my part. So, I ran out of money, had to move back up North, and got a job.
I've already detailed my second failure (although it never got off the ground) in my e-commerce thread.
Fast forward to today, and I realize why being in the slowlane sucks. Lack of control of your life, future, income, living situation, and more. I moved into a new place, the landlord (who lives there) is really controlling and telling me I can't cook past 8:30, etc. I've been working on my business at home, and I almost can't stand to be there lately. I realized I have no control in this situation but to move to another place. Well, looked at places online and realized I don't really like living with other people all that much, especially if I don't know them. I can't really afford a place on my own (rent is expensive in California). So, definitely, the slowlane is about a lack of control and I'm definitely realizing that now.
Also, I know people that make less money with me that have a motorcycle, nice car, and a house. I have no idea how they afford it (lots of debt?). Maybe, I don't know, but I need to get out of the rat trap.
Furthermore, my day job is moving and making my commute of 45 minutes to an hour instead of 15 minutes. Also, I don't particularly like working with some of the people at my company, and I don't get paid all that well. Yes, I am CHOOSING to work there, so I can't complain about it. Again, lack of control in the slow lane. I don’t want to waste time by looking for another slowlane job, but I also don’t want to drive and take up more of my day for my current job. Shit, I should just get a night job as a bartender or something!
Also, I’m dating this girl, and I’m not really sure where it’s going or if I’m wasting my time with her. I just don’t know, but I certainly know I don’t really have the time to put in dating anyone else for finding a new girl, or even if I should care about getting laid or companionship at this point in my life.
And, I’ve lost a little confidence in my “fastlane†business project, so the wind has been taken out of my sails a little bit. I just don’t know what to do. I’m sure everyone has days/weeks like this, but goddamn, this sucks. Sometimes I think well maybe I should take the easy way out and work for a living, but then I remember how unhappy I would be, and I’d have to be someone else’s slave for the next 30 years. F*ck that!
I just want control over my life, destiny, and income. I don’t want to top out at some income level, or trade my weekdays for weekends and a 401k. Again, I’m not looking for sympathy. I just needed to vent and put some thoughts down on paper.
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Vji sietup ovt tu onqusvepv ot cideati vjot tu demmif "heni ug mogi" ot emm qmezif uav op zuas jief.
