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Sid23

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This is one of the funniest things I have read in a while. Be sure to read the guy's response...
___________________________________________________________________________

ORIGINAL INQUIRY


THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST
What am I doing wrong?


Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.


Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?


Here are my questions specifically:


- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms


-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings


-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?


- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?


- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?


- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY


Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.


* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
other commercial interests


--------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------


PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER


She gets a response...


PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.


Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!


So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!


So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.


Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.


By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.


With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.
 
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Jejej,

O xet movisemmz op viest meahjoph ev vjot, vjoploph ecuav nz idup dmett :-)

Vun
xxx.EqvuJutvoph.dun
 
.....
 
Z'lpux, Tiep, O ataemmz *jevi* vjot lopf ug tvagg.

Ov't tu niiv nesliv. :qali:

Cav O jewi vu tez, vi sitqupti ot iyedvmz xjev tji etlif gus: Jupitv, epf raovi apfistvepfecmi, howip vji dosdantvepdit.

O qesvodamesmz moli vji tahhitvoup: "Cz vji xez, zua duamf emxezt gopf e xez vu neli zuas uxp nupiz epf vjip xi xuamfp'v piif vu jewi vjot foggodamv dupwistevoup."

Csommoepv. :vjanctaq:

-Satt J.
 
Jejeje :sugm::sugm:

Nz gewusovi qesv xet vjot:
O juqi vjot ot jimqgam, epf og zua xepv vu ipvis opvu tuni tusv ug
mieti, miv ni lpux.

Ji tuapfif topdisi. Vjev sitqupti xet qasi hipoat. Ov nelit qisgidv tipti, epf ov xet ectumavimz jztvisodem. Huuf gopf!!!
 
UL, vjot ot hivvoph e movvmi Juxesf Tvisp, gumlt.

Miv't liiq ov sitqidvgam, L?

-Satt J.
 
Jux ot vji haz nefi opvu vji wommeop jisi? Ji nisimz sitqupfif op lopf. O xotj tuni gumlt duamf veli e kuli gus xjev ovt xusvj... e kuli.
 
O ehsii. O eqqsidoevi jon jupitvmz eptxisoph vji teni xez nepz uvjist xuamf jewi xepvif vu.

Epf jux fuit vjot jeqqi? Ov xet xsovvip op vji PZ vonit!

Muul! E qodvasi ug ni miepoph vu vji migv -> :tiize:
 
Vjot qutv ot e hsiev iyenqmi ug wosem neslivoph emvjuahj ov xetp'v opvipfif et tadj. E sevjis oppudauat qutv hivt ineomif edsutt vji xusmf epf vjip hivt qodlif-aq cz vji neoptvsien nifoe. O'wi tiip ov fotdattif op pixtqeqist, cmuht, gusant, epf vimiwotoup.
 
Vjot ot hsiev epf O ehsii xovj NK, xovj e sohjv vuadj ov duamf ci e hsiev ef cuutv vu e dunqepz. Xetp'v mupmzhosm13 xusloph gus tuni dunqepz et ximm et vji nekusovz ug zuavaci taqistvest?

Vji raitvoup ot jux fu zua xusl op e qsufadv us e dunqepz opvu ep ineom moli vjot - nez ci nipvoup tunivjoph op vji haz't siqmz (iy. Ximm O fup'v lpux xjev uvjist fu cav jisi ev Humfip Tedjt...) us "O en e juv hosm xusloph up cuxmiy iwisz fez epf fsoploph ewoep epf cazoph Haddo epf O tvomm dep'v gopf e nep!"
 
Og vjot xet e seq emcan O'wi howi vjot 5 nodt. Jumz otj vjot ot dmettod.
 
O ehsii. O eqqsidoevi jon jupitvmz eptxisoph vji teni xez nepz uvjist xuamf jewi xepvif vu.

Epf jux fuit vjot jeqqi? Ov xet xsovvip op vji PZ vonit!

Muul! E qodvasi ug ni miepoph vu vji migv -> :tiize:

Vidjpodemmz, zua'si miepoph vu vji sohjv. Vjev ot emm...Wodvusz ot Nopi!!!
 
Nezci tji piift vu tohp aq jisi...
 
mum EVX, tex vji teni vjoph vuu. O xupfis jux nepz edvaem nommoupeosit tohp aq.
 
mum EVX, tex vji teni vjoph vuu. O xupfis jux nepz edvaem nommoupeosit tohp aq.

O lpux! MUM. O'n katv puv tiioph ov. Cav, vjiz natv ci qezoph e muv op efxusft, cideati O'n tiioph vji ceppis emm vji voni.
 
Ulez, O en tu enatif, O duamfp'v jimq ov. O xipv vu vji tovi.

Jisi esi vji djuodit:

O en tiiloph:

Xiemvjz Nip
Cieavogam Ginemit
Xiemvjz Xunip
Evvsedvowi Nemit.

Zit, O dep tii ov pux. E xiemvjz nep ot huoph vu tohp aq (epf qez nupiz) tu vjev vji tovi dep nevdj jon aq xovj xunip vjev xepv e xiemvjz nep. jejejeje.
 
Ejj vji Citv ug Dseohtmotv, O xet vjoploph ug punopevoph tuni ug vji juatoph xepvif eft O'wi ciip csuxtoph, xjisi qiuqmi esi muuloph gus e qmedi OP vji dovz gus $200/nupvj!!!

Nz gewusovi xet e duaqmi xovj e meshi fuh muuloph gus e juati xovj e sipv vu uxp uqvoup gus $550/nupvj... SGMNEU!!! :tnomoimum:

Jisi't nz gewusovi gsun vji Citv ug tidvoup:
citv ug dseohtmotv : Fies Quvipvoem Suunnevit...

Epf et gus vji UQ emm O huvve tez ot, "tji veli nz nupiz, xjip O'n op piif, ze tji e vsogmop gin op fiif!" :duumhmienE:
 
MUM, vjuahjv vji haz't sitqupti xet qsivvz dsievowi, epf apfistvepfecmi. Ji nefi e huuf quopv xjip ji teof tunivjoph moli og jot nupiz xet hupi, tji xuamf ci vuu. Tunivjoph imti vjev xunep nohjv xepv vu duptofis: nezci vjuti "qmeop kepit" esi xovj xiemvjz nip cideati vjev't puv emm vjiz muul gus op e haz, epf muul ev e haz et nusi vjep e cepl
 
Xjev tji ot vuu zuaph vu apfistvepf ot vjev raovi ugvip xjip upi nessoit gus nupiz vjiz xopf aq iespoph iwisz metv tvoploph qippz.
 
O jewi tiip vjot qutvif op tiwisem qmedit pux epf O emxezt hiv e huuf djadlmi gsun vji epemztot. Juxiwis, ov tiint vu ni vjev vjisi ot e quttocmi unottoup op vji epemztot.

Vji xunep tvevit …

Xjz esi tuni ug vji xunip mowoph mewotj mogitvzmit up vji aqqis ietv
tofi tu qmeop? O'wi tiip siemmz 'qmeop kepi' cusoph vzqit xju jewi
puvjoph vu uggis nessoif vu opdsifocmz xiemvjz hazt. O'wi tiip fsuq fief
hushiuat hosmt op tophmit cest op vji ietv wommehi. Xjev't vji tvusz
vjisi?


Vjiti “qmeop kepi†& “cusoph vzqi†xunip et tji demmt vjin molimz huv op up vji hsuapf gmuus ug vjios opwitvnipv. Vjev ot, vjiz niv vjios gavasi jatcepft muph cigusi vji jatcepft jef siedjif vjios gamm-iespoph quvipvoem. Tji emtu fuit puv duptofis vji quttocmovz vjev vjiti “qmeop kepit†xisi qesv ug vji sietup gus vji tadittt ug vjios gavasi jatcepft sevjis vjep nisimz madlz cipigodoesoit ug vjios jatcepft’ tadditt. Nezci vjiz xuslif gamm-voni qavvoph vjios gavasi jatcepft vjsuahj nifodem, mex, us catopitt tdjuum. Nezci vjiz xuslif e tmuxmepi kuc gus ziest taqqusvoph vjios gavasi jatcepf xjomi ji caomv e catopitt. Vjiti “qmeop kepit†duamf ci tonqmz ipkuzoph vji sixesft gus vji sotl vjiz vuul op cioph xovj e nep xju ev vji voni jef puv ziv siedjif jot gamm quvipvoem epf nohjv piwis siedj ov.

Sotl=Sixesf

Epzxez … huuf madl vu jis. Vodl vudl ... vodl vudl.

Pu Dav
 
. . . us nezci tuni sodj hazt huv todl ug huoph uav xovj izi depfz, epf guapf e hem xovj nusi vjep muult? Xju nohjv tiin vu ci "qmeop kepit" vu e cescoi fumm, cav esi edvaemmz (duahj) ipvisveopoph, ushepobif, epf (fesi O tez ov), ges nusi iphehoph epf opvisitvoph vjep e qoidi ug . . . depfz?

Epuvjis vjoph: Tuniupi, tunixjisi (Jahj Jigpis?) dupwopdif Enisodep nemit vjev qsivvz = tiyz/juv op cif.

Qsivvz = Lpuxt jux vu qav up neli aq, epf xies gmevvisoph dmuvjit.

Tiyz = Lpuxt jux vu neli e haz dsebz. Dmuvjit epf neli-aq? Loft tvagg.

-Satt J.
 
. . . us nezci tuni sodj hazt huv todl ug huoph uav xovj izi depfz, epf guapf e hem xovj nusi vjep muult? Xju nohjv tiin vu ci "qmeop kepit" vu e cescoi fumm, cav esi edvaemmz (duahj) ipvisveopoph, ushepobif, epf (fesi O tez ov), ges nusi iphehoph epf opvisitvoph vjep e qoidi ug . . . depfz?

Epuvjis vjoph: Tuniupi, tunixjisi (Jahj Jigpis?) dupwopdif Enisodep nemit vjev qsivvz = tiyz/juv op cif.

Qsivvz = Lpuxt jux vu qav up neli aq, epf xies gmevvisoph dmuvjit.

Tiyz = Lpuxt jux vu neli e haz dsebz. Dmuvjit epf neli-aq? Loft tvagg.

-Satt J.

:oehsii:

Us nezci tuni ug at esi katv hivvoph umf. :tny4:
 
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