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Like a guy addicted to crake, I have been a guru’s wet dream for the last 7 years. I would watch hours up on hours of secret’s, strategies and keys for a better life. I loved the works of people like Bob proctor and Tony Robbins.
Luckily I’ve never forked out for expensive seminars but have been at seminars and watched people sign up for the “Secret success $15k weekend extravaganza”.
I recently turned 30 and this point reflected on the decade just gone. What I came to realise is most morning’s I would wake up, think about why I’m not this “vision” of success and feel like utter shit.
Until one morning, I woke up, anxious as hell as to why “I wasn’t a millionaire yet and why I wasn’t successful” to realise it’s maybe self help isn’t helping, but like and anchor, holding me back.
Here’s how I realised self help has actually deferred me from drastically moving forward:
1. I became a magpie…
For me self help causes the next shiny thing syndrome. You become focused on your goals. I want “x amount of money in 5 years”.
You see someone else raking it in so you jump on board with what they’re doing. Not realising they may strengths in that field and you don’t and to make the same amount would require real hard “process”.
When you stop and think about what value you could provide (without the money goal) you’re more likely to hit the money target. This is because your business will be focused on what others want to pay for rather than the “how much money can I make” way of thinking.
Had I just stuck with some of the ideas and business I had from my earlier years who knows where I could have been now.
2. I believed I had to match the illusion of success:
When you read and listen to too much self help, you start to compare yourself to the person that the guru portrays.
For me “success” is a moving target. When I was broke success was enough money to buy food. Now “success” is a much bigger image.
I read a famous book that said “you really need to be getting up at 5 in the morning as the is what successful people do”. So I started setting my alarm for 5.
After a month, I felt like death. I was tired, zombie like and just not functioning… I was like “look at me a vision of success getting up at 5” but realistically it was killing me.
These visions of “success” may work for some and not others.
I’m lucky in the sense that I know some pretty successful people, who have created 7 figure businesses and they are pretty “normal”. They worked hard to get where they got to, but none of it was down to visualisation’s and getting up at 5 in the morning. They did what was needed to do be done and relaxed when they didn’t.
The self help “success” boilerplate I feel is there to make you feel bad so that one day you buy the “Secret success $15k weekend extravaganza”.
Looking back at my 20’s I was pretty successful. I moved from broke to 6 figures in around 5 years and also made some great relationships. All of which I never appreciated until I ditched the self help.
3. I compared my life to others.
What I’ve come to realise is that there is always someone crushing it ahead of you or much younger than you.
If money is your litmus for success then you will always see the 20 year old who is a millionaire. You can not compare yourself to this but instead congratulate the big win and continue with your life and path.
As I’ve dropped the self help I realise what we’re all aiming for is fun and excitement. And what excites you may not excite others (and vice versa) and business and work should excite you.
Even if have a trash collecting business, you could be passionate for a cleaner environment which excites you. Guru's have a tendancy to make you think you need to build the next Facebook.
----
I’d like to help people that are feeling the same… I know it’s hard sometimes when you see people here and outside “killing it” to think you’re a nobody or that you could be better.
I believe you really have to know what success is in your eyes. Life is journey were all on and rewards can come and different periods.
I also don’t want to fully poo poo self help. It can be great. It got me off my a$$ and start something which gave me good income. Only if it is becoming a detriment to your happiness then it may be time to step back and re-think.
I'd love to know your thoughts!
Luckily I’ve never forked out for expensive seminars but have been at seminars and watched people sign up for the “Secret success $15k weekend extravaganza”.
I recently turned 30 and this point reflected on the decade just gone. What I came to realise is most morning’s I would wake up, think about why I’m not this “vision” of success and feel like utter shit.
Until one morning, I woke up, anxious as hell as to why “I wasn’t a millionaire yet and why I wasn’t successful” to realise it’s maybe self help isn’t helping, but like and anchor, holding me back.
Here’s how I realised self help has actually deferred me from drastically moving forward:
1. I became a magpie…
For me self help causes the next shiny thing syndrome. You become focused on your goals. I want “x amount of money in 5 years”.
You see someone else raking it in so you jump on board with what they’re doing. Not realising they may strengths in that field and you don’t and to make the same amount would require real hard “process”.
When you stop and think about what value you could provide (without the money goal) you’re more likely to hit the money target. This is because your business will be focused on what others want to pay for rather than the “how much money can I make” way of thinking.
Had I just stuck with some of the ideas and business I had from my earlier years who knows where I could have been now.
2. I believed I had to match the illusion of success:
When you read and listen to too much self help, you start to compare yourself to the person that the guru portrays.
For me “success” is a moving target. When I was broke success was enough money to buy food. Now “success” is a much bigger image.
I read a famous book that said “you really need to be getting up at 5 in the morning as the is what successful people do”. So I started setting my alarm for 5.
After a month, I felt like death. I was tired, zombie like and just not functioning… I was like “look at me a vision of success getting up at 5” but realistically it was killing me.
These visions of “success” may work for some and not others.
I’m lucky in the sense that I know some pretty successful people, who have created 7 figure businesses and they are pretty “normal”. They worked hard to get where they got to, but none of it was down to visualisation’s and getting up at 5 in the morning. They did what was needed to do be done and relaxed when they didn’t.
The self help “success” boilerplate I feel is there to make you feel bad so that one day you buy the “Secret success $15k weekend extravaganza”.
Looking back at my 20’s I was pretty successful. I moved from broke to 6 figures in around 5 years and also made some great relationships. All of which I never appreciated until I ditched the self help.
3. I compared my life to others.
What I’ve come to realise is that there is always someone crushing it ahead of you or much younger than you.
If money is your litmus for success then you will always see the 20 year old who is a millionaire. You can not compare yourself to this but instead congratulate the big win and continue with your life and path.
As I’ve dropped the self help I realise what we’re all aiming for is fun and excitement. And what excites you may not excite others (and vice versa) and business and work should excite you.
Even if have a trash collecting business, you could be passionate for a cleaner environment which excites you. Guru's have a tendancy to make you think you need to build the next Facebook.
----
I’d like to help people that are feeling the same… I know it’s hard sometimes when you see people here and outside “killing it” to think you’re a nobody or that you could be better.
I believe you really have to know what success is in your eyes. Life is journey were all on and rewards can come and different periods.
I also don’t want to fully poo poo self help. It can be great. It got me off my a$$ and start something which gave me good income. Only if it is becoming a detriment to your happiness then it may be time to step back and re-think.
I'd love to know your thoughts!
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