BlackMagician
Bronze Contributor
LEGACY MEMBER
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G'day All,
I am back with lots of battle scars, tons of failures and going back to square one after my last post.
The journey has been hellish, mentally, physically and emotionally.
In Sept 22, I posted about my agency progress, doing okiesh with everything in life.
Then I fell ill in Sept 22. Got admitted in hospital for a 15 days and found that i had Tuberculosis (T.B).
After few days, and couple of more test, doctors found, i also have HIV.
From there everything crashed. I never had intimate relationship with anyone before my marriage and my wife is HIV negative but i got HIV positive. I don't know how. Well that sucks.
Every damn thing just crashed hard.
I was not prepared for anything like this. Anyhow, because of strong mental capacity, the HIV thing, didn't have much impact on my mind and emotions, but physically, i was destroyed, due to both T.B and HIV.
So a long hustle of medication started to cure T.B asap, which dramatically reduced my ability to function properly.
I always had high fever
I was not able to sleep long
Constant body ache, weakness, dizziness
Only 3-4 hours of mental energy to function
Hence i took the decision on pausing the agency altogether, telling my clients goodbye becoz it became difficult to function in my day to day activities.
Also, due to no preparation and zero savings, I also had to earn food for my big family (8).
Hence i started looking for job in agencies and found 1 after a month.
Due to health, i had to take this and started working in the agency, remotely, with minimal input from my end.
The agency owner was a friend connection so he helped me initially with work load.
i scraped by someone how in those 9 months, financially.
Simultaneously, due to no savings, I was constantly in pressure to earn my bread, which also made my family very restless (parents) because its only me in my family that earns. My family was very supportive and worry constantly about my health and my work.
At the same time, my family and my wife started having issues between them and the relationship started getting sour.
I somehow managed (we live in joint family here in India)
4 months back, i had a cute and lovely baby boy. My first child.
Almost everything was going wrong. I also stopped doing any spiritual work i used to do.
It's been 11 months now since then.
I have recovered my health. T.B is cured. HIV medication is going (there is NO cure).
2 months back, i again took decision of leaving the job and start working on my agency again.
Right now i have 2 clients in hand that pays the bill.
Relationship between my family and wife is still sour but i am handling things somehow.
Mentally and physically i am ok but still fog/stress/depress and weak body.
I will give a detailed update on my status on BIZ and what i am doing/going to do to grow again in next post.
Right now, i just wanted to say HI to all of you once again that i am back
Posting here about all of these to unload my mind a little and start using the forum for positive feedback loop and accountability from you guys.
You guys have been a morale support for me and I am thankful for that. Kindly be responsive on this thread that i will revive and again strive to achieve my goals/dreams.
Just wish me luck and give your blessings.
@Kak @Andy Black @MJ DeMarco @BizyDad @Rabby @Bekit @ZCP @MattL
Tagging all of you who were following this thread so that you can share your inputs on this.
It could be possible that my current mindset is wrong so you can point me. I am open to all feedbacks, criticism and support.
Until next time
Thanks
Sayonara
BM
I am back with lots of battle scars, tons of failures and going back to square one after my last post.
The journey has been hellish, mentally, physically and emotionally.
In Sept 22, I posted about my agency progress, doing okiesh with everything in life.
Then I fell ill in Sept 22. Got admitted in hospital for a 15 days and found that i had Tuberculosis (T.B).
After few days, and couple of more test, doctors found, i also have HIV.
From there everything crashed. I never had intimate relationship with anyone before my marriage and my wife is HIV negative but i got HIV positive. I don't know how. Well that sucks.
Every damn thing just crashed hard.
I was not prepared for anything like this. Anyhow, because of strong mental capacity, the HIV thing, didn't have much impact on my mind and emotions, but physically, i was destroyed, due to both T.B and HIV.
So a long hustle of medication started to cure T.B asap, which dramatically reduced my ability to function properly.
I always had high fever
I was not able to sleep long
Constant body ache, weakness, dizziness
Only 3-4 hours of mental energy to function
Hence i took the decision on pausing the agency altogether, telling my clients goodbye becoz it became difficult to function in my day to day activities.
Also, due to no preparation and zero savings, I also had to earn food for my big family (8).
Hence i started looking for job in agencies and found 1 after a month.
Due to health, i had to take this and started working in the agency, remotely, with minimal input from my end.
The agency owner was a friend connection so he helped me initially with work load.
i scraped by someone how in those 9 months, financially.
Simultaneously, due to no savings, I was constantly in pressure to earn my bread, which also made my family very restless (parents) because its only me in my family that earns. My family was very supportive and worry constantly about my health and my work.
At the same time, my family and my wife started having issues between them and the relationship started getting sour.
I somehow managed (we live in joint family here in India)
4 months back, i had a cute and lovely baby boy. My first child.
Almost everything was going wrong. I also stopped doing any spiritual work i used to do.
It's been 11 months now since then.
I have recovered my health. T.B is cured. HIV medication is going (there is NO cure).
2 months back, i again took decision of leaving the job and start working on my agency again.
Right now i have 2 clients in hand that pays the bill.
Relationship between my family and wife is still sour but i am handling things somehow.
Mentally and physically i am ok but still fog/stress/depress and weak body.
I will give a detailed update on my status on BIZ and what i am doing/going to do to grow again in next post.
Right now, i just wanted to say HI to all of you once again that i am back
Posting here about all of these to unload my mind a little and start using the forum for positive feedback loop and accountability from you guys.
You guys have been a morale support for me and I am thankful for that. Kindly be responsive on this thread that i will revive and again strive to achieve my goals/dreams.
Just wish me luck and give your blessings.
@Kak @Andy Black @MJ DeMarco @BizyDad @Rabby @Bekit @ZCP @MattL
Tagging all of you who were following this thread so that you can share your inputs on this.
It could be possible that my current mindset is wrong so you can point me. I am open to all feedbacks, criticism and support.
Until next time
Thanks
Sayonara
BM
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