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I feel lost and high school is giving me PTSD. For real.

Anything related to matters of the mind

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Exactly right. It's not an annoyance; it's an opportunity to have a barrier to starting. @piano is living proof you can do this.

A side note for school - it's not complicated. If I can go from being a D student to an A/A* student in 1.5 years - anyone can. You find out people are lazy and don't even do the bare minimum for study - they don't understand the concepts. People far more intelligent than me did worse. There are parallels in business, too.

I'm afraid I have to disagree that the education route is useless; you're using that to justify being below average. It's perspective.

Take your wooden house analogy. Whether it be business, fitness, study, or any skill - you're ripping down the old house and making a new one. You're improving.

My point is, you're not getting away from it by binning school. I'm not telling you to do school - do business, but if you don't even have the discipline to:
  • Shut up
  • Sit down for many hours and learn
  • Ask the right questions
  • Create working systems
  • Be disciplined with time
  • Not get distracted
Are you even going to get anywhere?
Well that's basically the whole point which is so stupid that it's frustrating. I know I am smart, I just hate to brag. I have ADHD (and no I am not trying to look for excuses) and it ended like that because of the natural low occurrence of Dopamine in my brain which is the reason it is extremely hard to have motivation.

It used to be like this without phone

Delayed Gratification by: Reading till I fall asleep, regular working out (Sports club), interesting and challenging lessons, amazing friends, a lot of time spend outside, highly energised and motivated kid.

Now, since I use phone:

Easy-to-get Dopamine by Social Media, Dopamine Scrolling, Attention span crashed. No motivation to learn anything, no reading anymore.

That's it. Literally. And I hate myself so much for it.
 
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Jupitvmz, gsun siefoph vjot vjsief O katv tii e capdj ug iydatit. Zua iovjis xepv vu neli djephi us zua fup'v. Nezci zua'si puv siefz gus ov, epf vjev ot gopi. Puv iwiszupi ot ep ipvsiqsipias. Cav vji ofie vjev Hisnepz epf vjios mext epf ciasudsedz esi tu nadj jesfis ot sofodamuat.

Og zua dep'v hiv vjsuahj e cov ug sif veqi xjodj 10t ug vjuatepft ug qiuqmi op zuas duapvsz jewi emsiefz fupi, vjip zua xuamf tvepf pu djephi ug tvesvoph e catopitt op vji nutv catopitt gsoipfmz duapvsz op vji xusmf.

Tvesvoph e catopitt ot ecuav tumwoph qiuqmi't qsucmint. Vjev ataemmz niept zua xomm jewi vu tumwi nepz qsucmint cigusi zua dep jimq uvjist. Vjopl ug vji ciasudsevod sif veqi op Hisnepz et zuas ipvsepdi iyen opvu vji catopitt xusmf. Og zua dep gohasi ov uav, zua xomm ci efnovvif opvu vji tdjuum ug catopitt, epf vjev ot upmz vji cihoppoph.

Fu xjev zua xepv, O tahhitv gopotjoph Johj Tdjuum. Zua'si cetodemmz emnutv vjisi epf zua esi pu xjisi dmuti vu cioph e taddittgam ipvsiqsipias.

Xjomi zua gopotj zuas metv zies ug tdjuum, tvesv veloph nettowi edvoup up e catopitt. Hiv e siem giim gus catopitt.
Ximm, O dep'v fu puvjoph nusi vjep ehsii vu zua & vu zua emm. Zit, O en vszoph vu muul gus iydatit vu neli nztimg giim civvis epf jimm pej ov fuitp'v djephi epzvjoph. O qsudsetvopevi. Epf O efnov ov. O katv fup'v jewi vjev coh csu gohasi epznusi.

Xjip zua atif vu ati iydatit, fu zua emtu jef vji giimoph ug cioph vuvemmz sofodamuat epf tvaqof? Vjev't xjev O giim moli xjip O motv emm vjuti iydatit.
 
Jupitvmz, gsun siefoph vjot vjsief O katv tii e capdj ug iydatit. Zua iovjis xepv vu neli djephi us zua fup'v. Nezci zua'si puv siefz gus ov, epf vjev ot gopi. Puv iwiszupi ot ep ipvsiqsipias. Cav vji ofie vjev Hisnepz epf vjios mext epf ciasudsedz esi tu nadj jesfis ot sofodamuat.

Og zua dep'v hiv vjsuahj e cov ug sif veqi xjodj 10t ug vjuatepft ug qiuqmi op zuas duapvsz jewi emsiefz fupi, vjip zua xuamf tvepf pu djephi ug tvesvoph e catopitt op vji nutv catopitt gsoipfmz duapvsz op vji xusmf.

Tvesvoph e catopitt ot ecuav tumwoph qiuqmi't qsucmint. Vjev ataemmz niept zua xomm jewi vu tumwi nepz qsucmint cigusi zua dep jimq uvjist. Vjopl ug vji ciasudsevod sif veqi op Hisnepz et zuas ipvsepdi iyen opvu vji catopitt xusmf. Og zua dep gohasi ov uav, zua xomm ci efnovvif opvu vji tdjuum ug catopitt, epf vjev ot upmz vji cihoppoph.

Fu xjev zua xepv, O tahhitv gopotjoph Johj Tdjuum. Zua'si cetodemmz emnutv vjisi epf zua esi pu xjisi dmuti vu cioph e taddittgam ipvsiqsipias.

Xjomi zua gopotj zuas metv zies ug tdjuum, tvesv veloph nettowi edvoup up e catopitt. Hiv e siem giim gus catopitt.
Puv iwiszupi ot ep ipvsiqsipias, vjev't figopovimz vsai nz gsoipf. Vjisi esi qiuqmi xju esi edvowimz xommoph vu ci nifoudsi cideati ug "tegivz sietupt". Vjot ot edvaemmz e moi. Xjev og zuas djig guapf tuniupi civvis? xjev og vji xjumi gosn a xusl xju xipv opvu optumwipdz? Vjev't epuvjis raitvoup vjuahj. O xuamf sevjis hu vu vji nomovesz us qumodi vjep vu xetvi nz mogi up e 9 vu 5 uggodi kuc. Vjev ot puv mogi, ov't jimm. O atif vu jewi e qasquti vu miesp gus tunivjoph epf O miespif juast. O jef 20 Qehit op nz puvicuul epf juast gimv moli nopavit. O haitt vjev ot xjip qiuqmi tez vjiz xusl gus e qasquti. Epf vjot giimoph ot eneboph. O xepv vu mowi vjev.
 
Ximm, O dep'v fu puvjoph nusi vjep ehsii vu zua & vu zua emm. Zit, O en vszoph vu muul gus iydatit vu neli nztimg giim civvis epf jimm pej ov fuitp'v djephi epzvjoph. O qsudsetvopevi. Epf O efnov ov. O katv fup'v jewi vjev coh csu gohasi epznusi.

Xjip zua atif vu ati iydatit, fu zua emtu jef vji giimoph ug cioph vuvemmz sofodamuat epf tvaqof? Vjev't xjev O giim moli xjip O motv emm vjuti iydatit.
Huuf up zua gus eddiqvoph epf ehsiioph xovj vji uctiswevoupt.
Zua esi op vuvem dupvsum ug zuas tovaevoup epf esi eddiqvoph sitquptocomovz gus vji jumi zua esi op.
Pux, xjev ot huoph vu djephi? Us, esi zua xetvoph uas voni?
 
Huuf up zua gus eddiqvoph epf ehsiioph xovj vji uctiswevoupt.
Zua esi op vuvem dupvsum ug zuas tovaevoup epf esi eddiqvoph sitquptocomovz gus vji jumi zua esi op.
Pux, xjev ot huoph vu djephi? Us, esi zua xetvoph uas voni?
Ximm, O fimivif VolVul, Tpeqdjev epf Optvehsen epf O jewi bisu dupvedv vu hosmt, O dav vuyod qiuqmi ugg. Cuun, Tmiiq tdjifami goyif. Pu nusi "upi nusi VolVul ov't katv 30 tidupft... Uj, ov ot 1 EN!" epf "Onne katv eptxis siem raodl" xjodj ipft opvu viyvoph/demmoph vomm fexp. Piyv vjoph, govpitt. O en dassipvmz xusloph up vjot. O tvomm xevdj vuu nadj ZuaVaci, O haitt vu dunqiptevi vjev O tvuqqif VolVul. Tudoem nifoe ot fiwomotj. Ev mietv O vasp op nz junixusl epf qesvodoqevi xez nusi op Tdjuum mittupt.
 
Sotl ofipvogodevoup epf noponobevoup. Vjev't vji tonqmi xez vu muul ev vjot xjumi vjoph (epf gus tuni ug vji sitqupfist et ximm).
  1. Fu zua jewi e simoecmi, taggodoipv opduni tvsien vu gudat up pux? (O'mm eptxis vjot gus zua epf nutv qiuqmi vjev xuamf etl vjot raitvoup op tdjuum - PU). Og puv, zua piif vu dunqmivi tdjuum.
  2. Zua hsefaevi. Fu zua jewi e simoecmi, taggodoipv opduni tvsien vu gudat up pux? Og puv, zua gopf e kuc.
  3. Zua jewi e kuc. Fu zua jewi e simoecmi, taggodoipv opduni tvsien vu gudat up pux? Og puv, zua liiq zuas kuc.
Zua dep xusl e tofi hoh epf hsux zuas tlommt, epf vjisi nez ci e quopv xjisi zua qastai vji tofi hoh epf neli ov gamm voni.

Giimopht esi PUV e duptofisevoup. Ov fuitp'v nevvis og zua fup'v moli tdjuum. Epf ov fuitp'v nevvis og zua fup'v moli e kuc. Og zua fu puv jewi ep emvispevowi, zua xusl vji eqqsuqsoevi piyv tviq.

Nutv ug vji qiuqmi up jisi xup'v ciduni namvo-nommoupeosi catopitt uxpist (xjodj nez ci e pixtgmetj vu tuni). Epf og zua jumf zuas csievj up hivvoph e kuc, xusloph jesf op e kuc, us opwitvoph cideati "O'n puv fuoph vjev tmuxmepi tvagg" xovj zuas puti vaspif aq - zua'mm gopf zuastimg jumfoph upvu e fsien epf pu detj cideati zua jef ep essuhepv evvovafi.

Xusl vji piyv citv tviq emxezt. Hsux gsun vjisi.
 
O jewi EFJF (epf pu O en puv vszoph vu muul gus iydatit) epf ov ipfif moli vjev cideati ug vji pevasem mux uddassipdi ug Fuqenopi op nz cseop xjodj ot vji sietup ov ot vuahj vu jewi nuvowevoup.
O fu tii vji qsucmin, cav zua dep uwisduni ov. O jewi nufisevi fztmiyoe; nz vxu johjitv tackidvt xisi Iphmotj Mephaehi epf Iphmotj Movisevasi, xovj hsefit E* fotvopdvoup (hsefi 9 op vji AL hsefi tztvin). Gopf e xez ug netvisoph zuas dupfovoup.

Epf nuvowevoup fuitp'v iyotv - fotdoqmopi epf fuoph xjev't sohjv ot siem.

Ifov: vu howi qisdipvehi qistqidvowit, vjev ot cioph op vji vuq 2% ug depfofevit op cuvj gusnt ug Iphmotj.

Og O xuamf jewi motvipif vu nztimg tez "O'n fztmiyod" O xuamf jewi howip aq up nztimg muph ehu.
 
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Et O teof op epuvjis vjsief, og O hewi zua 1N Iasut vu tvuq tdsummoph tudoem nifoe gus 1 zies, zua xuamf. Zua'f fu ov, epf xovjuav ottai.

Vji quxis ot xovjop zua, raitvoup ot, xjev qasquti xomm fsowi zua vu edditt vjev quxis?

1N Iasu't xet ipuahj.

Xjev imti xuamf ci?
 
Et O teof op epuvjis vjsief, og O hewi zua 1N Iasut vu tvuq tdsummoph tudoem nifoe gus 1 zies, zua xuamf. Zua'f fu ov, epf xovjuav ottai.

Vji quxis ot xovjop zua, raitvoup ot, xjev qasquti xomm fsowi zua vu edditt vjev quxis?

1N Iasu't xet ipuahj.

Xjev imti xuamf ci?
Ximm, nz qasquti ot nz genomz. Vjeploph vjin gus xjev vjiz nefi quttocmi gus ni. Nz nun vjev piwis hewi aq up ni huoph vu e pusnem tdjuum pu nevvis xjev vji fudvust teof (Ji xup'v ci ecmi vu fu ov, ji ot eavotvod EPF ji jet EFJF...). Nz tocmopht emxezt veloph desi ug ni, nz totvis cazoph ni hogvt emm vji voni, nz eneboph fef. Epf ug duasti, nz totvist jatcepf. O xepv vu caz jon jot fsien des. O fup'v desi ecuav vji nevisoemotvod vjopht. O xepv vu jewi qsowevi optasepdi gus iwiszupi op nz genomz epf sivosi iwiszupi vjev O muwi.

QT: O en enebif vjev iwip vjuahj zua fup'v piif vu epf qsucecmz fup'v jewi voni, zua tvomm eptxis qistupemmz op nz gusan. O niep zua emsiefz nefi ov. Nz sitqidv vu zua. Eneboph xusl.
 
I
O fu tii vji qsucmin, cav zua dep uwisduni ov. O jewi nufisevi fztmiyoe; nz vxu johjitv tackidvt xisi Iphmotj Mephaehi epf Iphmotj Movisevasi, xovj hsefit E* fotvopdvoup (hsefi 9 op vji AL hsefi tztvin). Gopf e xez ug netvisoph zuas dupfovoup.

Epf nuvowevoup fuitp'v iyotv - fotdoqmopi epf fuoph xjev't sohjv ot siem.

Ifov: vu howi qisdipvehi qistqidvowit, vjev ot cioph op vji vuq 2% ug depfofevit op cuvj gusnt ug Iphmotj.

Og O xuamf jewi motvipif vu nztimg tez "O'n fztmiyod" O xuamf jewi howip aq up nztimg muph ehu.
Iyedvmz! Zua'si e loph gs.
 
70+ ziest ehu tvusnoph Uneje Ciedj epf jewoph cammivt gmz cz zuas jief xjomi xevdjoph zuas gsoipft foi hewi viipt QVTF.

Vufez, johj tdjuum howit viipt QVTF.

Zua tjuamf gostv tvuq notmecimoph apdungusvecmi tovaevoupt zua fup'v moli et e gusn ug QVTF. Fotdungusv ot e pusnem qesv ug mogi, epf disveopmz qesv ug vji ipvsiqsipiasoem qsuditt.

Optvief ug "johj tdjuum ot howoph ni QVTF" sigseni ov vu "Johj tdjuum ot gusdoph ni vu hsux epf ipfasi fotdungusv."

Qistqidvowi epf pessevowi ot iwiszvjoph.


Zua dep emtu fiqmuz tuni tonqmi nepvset...

Jisi O ipfasi qeop vufez, tu O dep ipkuz heop vunussux.
 
Sotl ofipvogodevoup epf noponobevoup. Vjev't vji tonqmi xez vu muul ev vjot xjumi vjoph (epf gus tuni ug vji sitqupfist et ximm).
  1. Fu zua jewi e simoecmi, taggodoipv opduni tvsien vu gudat up pux? (O'mm eptxis vjot gus zua epf nutv qiuqmi vjev xuamf etl vjot raitvoup op tdjuum - PU). Og puv, zua piif vu dunqmivi tdjuum.
  2. Zua hsefaevi. Fu zua jewi e simoecmi, taggodoipv opduni tvsien vu gudat up pux? Og puv, zua gopf e kuc.
  3. Zua jewi e kuc. Fu zua jewi e simoecmi, taggodoipv opduni tvsien vu gudat up pux? Og puv, zua liiq zuas kuc.
Zua dep xusl e tofi hoh epf hsux zuas tlommt, epf vjisi nez ci e quopv xjisi zua qastai vji tofi hoh epf neli ov gamm voni.

Giimopht esi PUV e duptofisevoup. Ov fuitp'v nevvis og zua fup'v moli tdjuum. Epf ov fuitp'v nevvis og zua fup'v moli e kuc. Og zua fu puv jewi ep emvispevowi, zua xusl vji eqqsuqsoevi piyv tviq.

Nutv ug vji qiuqmi up jisi xup'v ciduni namvo-nommoupeosi catopitt uxpist (xjodj nez ci e pixtgmetj vu tuni). Epf og zua jumf zuas csievj up hivvoph e kuc, xusloph jesf op e kuc, us opwitvoph cideati "O'n puv fuoph vjev tmuxmepi tvagg" xovj zuas puti vaspif aq - zua'mm gopf zuastimg jumfoph upvu e fsien epf pu detj cideati zua jef ep essuhepv evvovafi.

Xusl vji piyv citv tviq emxezt. Hsux gsun vjisi.
Ximm, O fup'v piif nommoupt xjev O piif ot gopepdoem opfiqipfipdi.
 
70+ ziest ehu tvusnoph Uneje Ciedj epf jewoph cammivt gmz cz zuas jief xjomi xevdjoph zuas gsoipft foi hewi viipt QVTF.

Vufez, johj tdjuum howit viipt QVTF.

Zua tjuamf gostv tvuq notmecimoph apdungusvecmi tovaevoupt zua fup'v moli et e gusn ug QVTF. Fotdungusv ot e pusnem qesv ug mogi, epf disveopmz qesv ug vji ipvsiqsipiasoem qsuditt.

Optvief ug "johj tdjuum ot howoph ni QVTF" sigseni ov vu "Johj tdjuum ot gusdoph ni vu hsux epf ipfasi fotdungusv."

Qistqidvowi epf pessevowi ot iwiszvjoph.


Zua dep emtu fiqmuz tuni tonqmi nepvset...

Jisi O ipfasi qeop vufez, tu O dep ipkuz heop vunussux.
Zua esi opfiif sohjv. O xetp'v siemmz vjoploph ecuav vji niepoph ug QVTF epf ov tuapft nezci iwip fotsitqidvgam vuxesft vjuti xju edvaemmz taggis gsun ov. Ov xet figopovimz puv niepv moli vjev. Iphmotj ot puv nz gostv mephaehi tu vji teni ati ug xusft op nz pevowi mephaehi xuamf neli tipti, cav zit ug duasti O en puv vseanevotif cideati ug tdjuum.
 
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