What would you define as a successful woman? Someone who has climbed the corporate ladder? Someone who has published a book? Someone who has raised 2 amazing kids?
In my humble opinion, women who refer to themselves as "successful" usually refer to their career success/climbing the corporate ladder and making it into a position of power. From my experience this is closely linked with someone's "disagreeability" trait - their want/need/willingness to disagree. Unfortunately after succeeding climbing the corporate ladder this trait is reinforced time and time again and the result is a individual who is almost searching for battles. This won't apply to all "successful" women just as it won't apply to all "successful" men. But it's a useful factor to take into account.
This can then manifest itself in relationships with that person always having to be right and looking for a fight when there isn't one. And then if they can't find a fight they complain that the man doesn't challenge them enough or isn't passionate enough about things. They believe that everything has to be a battle.
Now this is quite a blanket statement and I don't mean it to be. But I would assume that if someone is willing to pay for a dating coach they have already spent the time working out what the
goal is, who the target "catch" is, or their ideal man. There is nothing wrong with this but, again, in my humble experience... Women value themselves far higher than men will. They all see themselves as 10s with incredible personality and soooo much to offer - society is at large to blame for this. There is a constant narrative that you determine your own value - sorry, you don't, others do. You can only sell something for what others are willing to pay.
It's like th rule of calculating how many people someone has slept with. Whatever number a man has given you divide by 3 because they want to seem more of a "lad", whatever a women says multiple by 3 because they don't want to be seen as a "slut".
When it comes to attractiveness you can reduce th number by 2-3 for women and increase it by 2-3 for men. Men always rate themselves lower that others perceived them and women always rate themselves higher. I think this is due to all the self worth bullshit and nonsense being floated around
I've worked with ladies who complain they want a man with a great body (bg shoulders, thick firearms, strong chest), great personality and cash in the bank because they deserve it and are worth that man... While they sit their talking crap about Love Island, eating shit to add to their size 20 frame and spending all their money on random clothes and crap. It's beyond belief what expectations are now and how men have to work so hard for a women, I wouldn't be surprised if in 10 years marriage hit the lowest numbers ever because men just can be assed working that hard. But that's another arguement.
Just to caveat these statements as I know they could be taken brutally. I see similar expectations from men who want a beautiful wife but I very rarely hear money in the equation, it usually comes to someone who is caring and loving. Someone you can talk with who doesn't judge you. I also tend to see when men are saying these things they are focusing on improving something about themselves to help win a partner - it could be their appearance (e.g. hitting a gym) or their wealth by looking to earn more.
Hint: This biggest pain a man has in his life is not being able to talk to someone honestly and openly without fear of judgement or retribution at a later date. (Again this is just my personal view).
Men are not looking for a push over, or someone to do as they are say, or cook, clean and wipe their a$$. They are looking for a partner, someone who can be equal with them and hold them accountable while also supporting them and being their when we need to throw a paddy and just curse the world.
I say all this as a man who has been married for 10 years and together for 18. I don't care about my wife's "success" in the traditional sense. Her success is that she has raised two incredible children, prevented us from all killing each other, and is the rock of our family. This is clear whenever a child is ill, they want to play with dad because I'm a bit of a daft idiot but as soon as they are ill... All they want is mum! Mum is the bedrock of the family.
I believe we are successful together because we support each other and neither of us feel the need to be right. It is what it is, if one of us gets something wrong then who cares. It's not a battle about who is right or who is wrong.
I'd be interested to hear the different expectations/focus on partners between men and women from your experience as a dating coach.
