I WANT to LiVE

[rogen]

I want to live, I dont want to waste my time, I dont want to be here, I dont want to talk about shit that dont interest me at all, I want real friends, not just drink buddies, I want driver license, I want a car, I want to talk with people who have real life wisdom, I dont want to brag, I want to help, I dont want to be in this rat race "who is better" I JUST WANT To LIVE

With this said.. This is my drunken post, I decided to start a progress thread because IT MIGHT motivate me to take action.. I know that no one reads this sh** but I just want to get this off my chest

20 years old.. Poland.. What Ive seen all my life? Dirty streets.. Dirt.. Alcohol.. Sun.. Restrictions.. No money.. Everyone enjoying life but not me..

I never seen sea in my entire life.. I never been in capital city.. I never been in another country..

I never been anywhere, I feel like everyone treats me like air despite fact I have some friends..
I cant talk about business, hell, i cant talk about Better Life with them.. They say ITS Impossible.
I dont feel like they are my true friends.. They just want to drink when they have 2 days free after working all week. They think Im "crazy".. F*** what is so crazy about trying to LIVE like A HUMAN BEING?!

..and to be honest, I dont see myself living good life and helping others.. It would be completely NOT ME.

I CANT IMAGINE MYSELF being someone different than Im right now (that is, having no money, no car, being stuck in this town)..

Okay maybe sometimes I do see myself having money and being truly happy and feeling good..
But it seems like almost impossible to achieve..

You know why? Because all my life my skills/ambitions were mocked. I was told Im a dreamer. I was always "that guy who say crazy out-of-this-world things"
And when I achieved something above their expectations like scholarship or online revenue they were completely shocked. Everytime. Im tired of this constant proving that Im more than they could imagine.

Ehh.. Im tired to the point, that this year I didn't cared about anything..

But week ago, I got on my feet, New freaking haircut, girls checking me out ) yeaah IM MORE than they say IM. FUC* EM. Now i need final puzzle in place.. I need money. As selfish as it sounds.

But to get money I need to grow up. Im 20 years old and because of that constant mocking, Im almost convinced I cant run a business, I cant be more than peoole I talk with dialy.

Fu** its so hard to igonre your life, and start new one..

This is the end Of my drunken post. I hope for advice.. And now Im going to eat some chicken.. Still paid by my parents.. I HATE this. I wish I could buy my own food.

Btw. Just hour ago I was on gas station with my... Friends.... We were there for beer and hotdogs.. I barely scraped some money for beer (i had to lend few cents) still they bought themselves hotdogs.. I had to watch.. F*ck F*ck why the F*ck I cant buy myself a F*cking hotdog man ( Why money avoids me.. Or rather I dont have business oriented mindset.. Fucccckkkk this life man... I know I can do better than this YET SOMETHING is HOLDING ME BACK.. Like Im not privileged enough or something.. ://

I have to change my life VERY Fast. I DONT HAVE A CHOICE. I have nothing so what Can I loose? As long i wont rob someone I should be fine.. Right??

 

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[jon.a]

I want to live, I dont want to waste my time, I dont want to be here, I dont want to talk about shit that dont interest me at all, I want real friends, not just drink buddies, I want driver license, I want a car, I want to talk with people who have real life wisdom, I dont want to brag, I want to help, I dont want to be in this rat race "who is better" I JUST WANT To LIVE

With this said.. This is my drunken post, I decided to start a progress thread because IT MIGHT motivate me to take action.. I know that no one reads this sh** but I just want to get this off my chest

20 years old.. Poland.. What Ive seen all my life? Dirty streets.. Dirt.. Alcohol.. Sun.. Restrictions.. No money.. Everyone enjoying life but not me..

I never seen sea in my entire life.. I never been in capital city.. I never been in another country..

I never been anywhere, I feel like everyone treats me like air despite fact I have some friends..
I cant talk about business, hell, i cant talk about Better Life with them.. They say ITS Impossible.
I dont feel like they are my true friends.. They just want to drink when they have 2 days free after working all week. They think Im "crazy".. F*** what is so crazy about trying to LIVE like A HUMAN BEING?!

..and to be honest, I dont see myself living good life and helping others.. It would be completely NOT ME.

I CANT IMAGINE MYSELF being someone different than Im right now (that is, having no money, no car, being stuck in this town)..

Okay maybe sometimes I do see myself having money and being truly happy and feeling good..
But it seems like almost impossible to achieve..

You know why? Because all my life my skills/ambitions were mocked. I was told Im a dreamer. I was always "that guy who say crazy out-of-this-world things"
And when I achieved something above their expectations like scholarship or online revenue they were completely shocked. Everytime. Im tired of this constant proving that Im more than they could imagine.

Ehh.. Im tired to the point, that this year I didn't cared about anything..

But week ago, I got on my feet, New freaking haircut, girls checking me out ) yeaah IM MORE than they say IM. FUC* EM. Now i need final puzzle in place.. I need money. As selfish as it sounds.

But to get money I need to grow up. Im 20 years old and because of that constant mocking, Im almost convinced I cant run a business, I cant be more than peoole I talk with dialy.

Fu** its so hard to igonre your life, and start new one..

This is the end Of my drunken post. I hope for advice.. And now Im going to eat some chicken.. Still paid by my parents.. I HATE this. I wish I could buy my own food.

Btw. Just hour ago I was on gas station with my... Friends.... We were there for beer and hotdogs.. I barely scraped some money for beer (i had to lend few cents) still they bought themselves hotdogs.. I had to watch.. F*ck F*ck why the F*ck I cant buy myself a F*cking hotdog man ( Why money avoids me.. Or rather I dont have business oriented mindset.. Fucccckkkk this life man... I know I can do better than this YET SOMETHING is HOLDING ME BACK.. Like Im not privileged enough or something.. ://

I have to change my life VERY Fast. I DONT HAVE A CHOICE. I have nothing so what Can I loose? As long i wont rob someone I should be fine.. Right??

Come back tomorrow.

 

[rogen]

Come back tomorrow.

Tommorow I will be too shy, I will overthink everything too much.. Sorry..

 

[jon.a]

Tommorow I will be too shy, I will overthink everything too much.. Sorry..

All the more reason, face your fears sober.

 

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[skekasaurus]

I know that no one reads this sh** but I just want to get this off my chest

I read it!

I CANT IMAGINE MYSELF being someone different than Im right now

This right here is probably one of the biggest things holding you back. How can you move past the person you are now if you can't even give yourself a vision of a person you want to become?

I cant talk about business, hell, i cant talk about Better Life with them.. They say ITS Impossible.
I dont feel like they are my true friends.. They just want to drink when they have 2 days free after working all week. They think Im "crazy".. F***

Quit hanging around "Slowlane" friends, another element that's holding you back. I'd rather be alone with no friends. Negativity will mentally hold you back and discourage you from ever doing anything in life. Go into solitude if you have to!

 

[rogen]

Go into solitude if you have to!

But if not them then who? I need to get out of house from time to time.. In solitude Im from monday to friday.. Because they are working slowlane

 

[rogen]

All the more reason, face your fears sober.

I did it once this week.. I broke one of my fears.. And it gave MORE colours to my life.. Like miracle..

Still starting a business is my Ultimate fear.. If I broke this one then It woudnt be me.. I would be different person

 

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[Silverhawk851]

We've all been there.

Let your pain fuel your fire.

First make a SOLID decision of what you want man. Accept the reality, that your choices got you where you are.
If you don't want what you have, then you've got to change what your doing.

If you need a route, look into what other successful people are doing. How did they get to where they are.
Act like them, do what they did, and you will have the same result.

You become the 5 people you spend the most time with. Find better people.


P.s. you can msg me if you need a little help, we all have ups and down it's cool

 

[jon.a]

I did it once this week.. I broke one of my fears.. And it gave MORE colours to my life.. Like miracle..

Still starting a business is my Ultimate fear.. If I broke this one then It woudnt be me.. I would be different person

Knock them done one at a time. Work your way up the food chain building your confidence.

 

[rogen]

Let your pain fuel your fire.

Everyday is just like the other Im tired of this.. Im tired of people thinking Im no one, Im tired of them thinking Im just talking about business but they are convinced this will never happend. No one roots for me. Everyone would like to see me fail. Its so frustrating and exhausting. It melts my brain. How can someone be good for you, yet wish you worst? I know this is selfish world but..

 

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[Silverhawk851]

How can someone be good for you, yet wish you worst?

Ok. They don't want you to succeed. Ok, so what? It doesn't matter what anyone says bro. Today they are here, tomorrow they are not. It's your life, you were born alone, will die alone. Man up, stop giving a F*ck, and do what you have to do to become something.

Stop hanging around them. Cut off any negativity.

Your just blaming people, you can't control them. You can only control yourself, so you can only blame yourself.
It's not their responsibility to get you what you want, it is your responsibility to get you what you want.

Man up, accept that you didn't do what you had to, and say from now on you will do whatever you have to do to get successful.

This time will pass, don't worry. Just keep working.

 

[jon.a]

Everyday is just like the other Im tired of this.. Im tired of people thinking Im no one, Im tired of them thinking Im just talking about business but they are convinced this will never happend. No one roots for me. Everyone would like to see me fail. Its so frustrating and exhausting. Its melts my brain. How can someone be good for you, yet wish you worst? I know this is selfish world but..

Dude no one is going to root for you but your mom. Get used to it. When you do have success, they'll say that you were lucky, get used to that too. You're tired, go to bed. Tomorrow, face another fear. Just keep doing it one at a time and do it only for you.

 

[Silverhawk851]

Dude no one is going to root for you but your mom. Get used to it.

Jon is perfectly right. Everybody is too busy worried about themselves to bring you success.

 

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[CarrieW]

I understand. I was where you are without the drinking and living with parents... feel free to msg me anytime privately

Sent from my SCH-I200 using Tapatalk

 

[rogen]

Dude no one is going to root for you but your mom.

Not even my Mom
I dropped out of high school in third out of four grade.. Shes kind of beliveng in me.. She let me do this. But sometime she admits that she dont have a clue what I will do with my life, and I always reply "i know what I will do dont worry".. and I do know what I have to do, I have to sell, I have to know What Im selling and To Who Im selling, and this thing im selling have to solve a problem. I read a looot in 2013/2014 after dropping out. Im just afraid to pull the trigger.

Ok Im going to sleep now, everyone please share your wisdom publicly there is no need for pms )

And thank you for advice.. Its worth gold here where I live, and in situation Im

 

[Formless]

Poland is not a country, it's a mind-state.

Uswiadom to sobie, a nagle wszystko sie ulatwi

 

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[rogen]

Poland is not a country, it's a mind-state.

Uswiadom to sobie, a nagle wszystko sie ulatwi

Hahahaha true.. Everything seems like a mind state.. And you are a sum of all your fears.. Or something

 

[CarrieW]

Ok I thought you may want to disclose more privately at a less drunk time but here she goes stop drinking n get a job. Learn sales. Pick one or 2 nights a week to hang out and spend the rest of your time reading or working..

Sent from my SCH-I200 using Tapatalk

 

[SteveO]

I agree with Jon. You can work through this but not while you are drinking.

We respect who you are and the challenges that you are facing.

For starters, quit thinking about what you don't want. Focus yourself on what you do want.

You don't have to quit hanging out with friends. Just don't talk to them about what you are doing. Talk to us. That is why we are here.

I don't talk to my friends about what I do. I just hang out with them and enjoy whatever activities that we do.

 

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[Mike.B]

Think about this ... you're just 20 years old, you haven't even begun to experience things yet. You have so much time ahead of you. Stop stressing about what others think now. Will you give a shit about any of them 5 years, 10 years, from now? probably not.

Work on you first!

 

[AubreyJ]

If you don't like your life, change it! If you don't like your friends, get new ones. If you don't like where you live, move. whatever aspect of your life you are not happy with, change it, it's as simple as that. You need to get your priorities straight, if you are so low on money, why are you wasting it on beer? You should be saving it, not spending it.

I am 20 years old too, and so to an extent I know how you feel. But your age isn't an excuse for your situation. I see so many of the people that I went to high school with mooching off their parents or jumping from crappy job to crappy job, and years ago, I decided that wasn't how I was going to spend my life. So I got off my a$$, I started working hard, and now I am able to support myself, while also funding my own business ventures.

Nobody is going to hold your hand. There are going to be people who doubt you, people who call you stupid for aiming high, and people who are betting and hoping that you will fail...ignore those people- or better yet, use them to motivate you even more. If you are waiting for the "right" time to change your life, and become the person you truly want to be, that time will never come. You just have to go for it.