If you could only pass on one life lesson to everyone on this forum, what would it be?

[eliquid]

No one's coming to your rescue.

Therefor, you gotta do it yourself and F*ck what other people think about it.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

How you do anything, is how you do everything.

If you can't take pride in doing a good job washing dishes, you probably won't do a good job at anything else.

 

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[John Clancy]

I thought this might make for an interesting thread, in the vein of some other very valuable "lessons learned" threads we've seen here down through the years.

No two people on this forum have lived their lives in precisely the same way.
Sure, some of us have a lot more experience than others (at 21, I'm younger than a lot of you reading this), but I believe that everyone has a message to share - they just need a platform...

So, here's your platform.

I'll kick things off.

If I could only pass on one lesson to you, it'd be this:

You are not your thoughts.

Trite? Perhaps.

But powerful? Definitely.

One of the principal benefits you get from meditating is learning to exist in the space between stimulus and response. Between the impulse and action, you have a chance to observe what's happening and make an informed decision, rather than reacting in a knee-jerk fashion.

In business, we see people holding themselves back from ever even trying because they think that they're not good enough, that they're a failure, that they need to read these 16 books and listen to those 27 podcasts and subscribe to all those email lists first...

But these thoughts are just that.
Thoughts.
Nothing more than a cloud drifting across the sky of your conscious awareness. They are not who you are... unless you reach out, cling to them, and make them part of your identity.

Why do I know this?

(Warning - possible overshare incoming)

Back in late 2017, not for the first time in my life, I went through a bad mental health spell. Compulsive thoughts were nagging, nagging, nagging away at me. Without getting too detailed (that's not what this post is about), I was constantly fighting the urge to hurt myself physically... and worse.

At my lowest, I was having these thoughts 50-60 times a day, and I didn't really know what to do about it. Counselling was an idea, but I ended up on a two-week waiting list once they felt I wasn't an immediate risk.

By the time I got a call to say an appointment was available, the worst had passed, and I was on the way back up again... but I knew I had to be better prepared the next time around. For my own sake.

Weeks went by, and I reflected on the questions I'd been left with:
How can I overcome this challenge?
How can I ensure that I don't suffer from one of these bad spells again?
How do I know it won't be worse next time?

Journaling. Reading. Talking to people (professionals and otherwise). All played a part, and all helped to a degree...

But what helped me most was reflecting back on my experience during that bad spell, as painful as it was. In seeing how I had kept going then, I could learn to do so again in the future.

And there, in the midst of all that I wished to forget, I found the one truth that could save me.

I was not my thoughts.

Every impulse, every nagging image, every compulsive desire that rose up in me was not who I was.

This isn't dissociation. Running away from this kind of problem doesn't help (believe me, I tried).

This is about realizing your thoughts are a stimulus. Your response can be provoked by this stimulus... but only you choose what that response will be.

You can agree (if it serves you), or you can decline (if it doesn't). The choice is yours.

(Note: Please don't take any of this as victim-shaming, or trivialization of serious mental health issues. This is serious business, I understand that. This is just a mental framework that has helped me, among other things.)

I still get these thoughts sometimes (not as often), but they don't have the same power over me that they once did.

When they float up now, I recognize them for what they are - a stimulus, and nothing more.

You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are a stimulus, and your response is your own.

*******

Looking forward to seeing the lessons you all have to share!

 

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[B. Cole]

You are what you repeatedly do. Nothing more, nothing less, so don’t pretend and definitely don’t lie to yourself. You can’t change what you are if you can’t admit what you are.

 

[Kruiser]

You are able to land on your feet every single time. Why waste so much energy worrying about stuff? You are always able to figure out. Doesn't matter that you haven't figured this one out yet. You will. You always do. Relax.

 

[ZeroTo100]

Start.

 

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[Andy Black]

Treat people how you want to be treated.

 

[Get Right]

It is possible.

 

[TreyAllDay]

Be the person you want to be, NOW! Don't wait!

I often find people think they have to wait for some event, a certain amount of business, a certain income. Be the person you want to be now.

 

[Darius]

Question everything.

Question all of your current habits.
Question all of the advice you receive.
Question the way things have always been done.

For most situations, the "why" is more important than the "what".

 

[JunkBoxJoey_JBJ]

Best modern day advice:
Log-out (facebook)

 

[lewj24]

Never stop learning.

Whether it's reading books or doing new things or asking smart people questions etc. Never have an idle mind. My life has changed a ton in the past couple years just by trying to learn things on my own and not relying on schooling.

 

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[RazorCut]

Life is not happening to you. Life is responding to you.

“Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life.”

​

 

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[Yoda]

Work hard in silence and create your own luck.

 

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[Singularity73]

Learn to work without motivation. Embrace the grind.

 

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[AnAverageJoe]

The things that happen to us have zero effect on us. It's our reactions to those things that affect us.

If we choose to be hurt, we're hurt.

If we choose to flip it the middle finger, we adapt and move on.

 

[million$$$smile]

Eat less, Love more

 

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[Envision]

You are who you surround yourself with

 

[Johnny boy]

You are unimportant-er than you think.

Your problems are small. Your obstacles are small. Your goals are small.

But you think they're big because they're yours.

My one lesson is to remove the attachment with yourself and see yourself from the honest perspective of someone else. Not "me", but "him". To see what others see because it is what others see that really changes anything. Want to sell something? Somebody else has to buy it. Want to date a girl? She must like something about you. Everything the world has to offer comes from the world so we must learn to see reality as the world sees it, not just as we see it.

It will allow you to empathize with people, make logical decisions, see the truth, be a better salesman, be more charismatic and attractive, be bold, have less anxiety and stress, worry less about the future. It will allow you to be like water and fit any situation. It will calm your mind and make everything you do twice as effective.

We all do the same thing because we live in the same world and unless something changes, we will continue to respond in a predictable and similar way to others. That is unless there is a change in our thinking or environment. And I cannot rely on my environment to change itself for me. How arrogant would that be?... I must change my thinking.

It will help you be bold and have less anxiety. You will realize that you are just one person. Your impact on this world will fade away. Even the universe will eventually end. It all turns to dust and we all die. You are small and nothing really matters, so nothing is worth worrying too much over. Is it really so bad to risk something? It's all going away regardless.

It will allow you to be more successful in business. If you can get inside the head of someone else that isn't you, then you can find a way to succeed. It's what I do with any plan to market or sell a product or service or how to grow any type of business. I put myself in the shoes of the customer, client or whoever is on the other end of the deal, and I think for a long time about what it's like being them. Where do they spend their time? How do they like to communicate? Where is their attention? Where will it be in 2 years? Is there some sort of hidden angle to take that will make everything easier?

But we live in a world full of narcissists. These narcissists are not people who focus on their appearance. Or people who focus on building up an instagram page. Or people who are confident. The narcissists are the 95+ percent of people who play it safe, stay in the lines, do what they're told, regurgitate cliche phrases they heard somewhere else, and stay in their small little worlds and live the boring life of a perpetual consumer until they die. Those are the narcissists and they are always afraid. They cannot get outside of their tiny little heads and their tiny little world to see how small they are, and that everything they want could be theirs if they learned to see from the outside in, instead of the inside out. Producer, not the consumer. The show, not the audience. "That guy", not "me".

 

[Shinebabe]

You magnify whatever you focus on.

 

[OlivierMo]

Love everything people said above.

My current life lesson is: most people are worried about their own life and problems, don't waste time thinking they're spending time judging or criticizing you. That's a tough one to escape when you've been raised by highly critical family members.

 

[Pat D. Rick]

Always be grateful for what you already have

 

[HackVenture]

Successful people are not that much different from "normal people".

They make blunders too, they stutter on stage too, they lose their temper too, they do stupid things too.

They just put themselves out there enough times that somehow at least something hits and they become "successful" and use the momentum to keep becoming more and more so, till they don't look "normal" anymore.

 

[Arthur Charles]

"Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75." - Benjamin Franklin

Your most precious resource is time. Cherish every second that passes, make it a priority to do the things that matter to you, and constantly seek progress in all aspects of your life.

(and bookmark this thread. As @Prakhar Verma said, life lessons have a different impact on you depending on where you are on your life journey.)

 

[Olimac21]

Learn to use your mind since is the biggest tool you want to be using effectively in life.

 

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[Bhanu]

It is from Gautama Buddha’s final words on his death bed:
Appo Deepo Bhava means be light unto yourself.

It means don’t accept ideas or teachings based solely on the presumed authority of others; on tradition; on dogma, etc. but evaluate them in light of your own experience. Take complete responsibility of your life in your own hands.

 

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[Deleted50669]

less talkie, more walkie

 

[MJ DeMarco]

You'll never be any younger than you are TODAY.
Your youthful time depreciates like an automobile. Ten years of freedom at 30 is not the same as ten years of freedom at 60.

 

[100ToOne]

What you will learn in 15 years could be learnt in 6 months if you have a guide/mentor to show you the way.

 

[Saiful]

Only a few things matters to anything.
You want to find those few things, then stick to them and master them.


Source:
100 Years of Wisdom in 10 Minutes - Darren Hardy