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Life & Work Feels like Wearing a Lead Jacket

Anything related to matters of the mind
A post of a ranting nature...

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Tapp001

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Is this a rant? I don’t know. Probably. So it’s marked ‘rant’. If you don’t want to read a long string of complaining bullplop than you should probably read one of the threads that will actually help enhance your life. But I’m writing because maybe others have dealt with this stuff as well, and I could use some perspective.


I can’t concentrate on work anymore.


I’ve never been in love with job, but now it’s like working here is making me physically ill. It feels like being trapped under a couch, or that I am wearing a lead jacket that also affects my brain. Whenever I try to concentrate I can almost hear the gears slipping in my brain.


I think it’s because I no longer see an end point to staying in this career-path, and that the job provides nothing but a paycheck. I have a second job selling paint by phone, its far less lucrative and of significantly lower social status, but I can still at least concentrate and improve at it. I’m earning some extra money, and I also feel like I’m learning a valuable skill. I can still concentrate on the readings I do. I actually did some initial work on a potential fastlane project on the weekend. But Sunday was a slower day. And work is just unbearable at this point.


I spend all my time either at work, doing house-chores, or attending to my girlfriend. I can’t get anytime to myself, either for work or play. I love solitude and am now surrounded by people on all sides. But my life is such that I can’t change this, or if I did change it then the consequences would be catastrophic. So I just keep pushing forward and hoping that one day my brain will enjoy this shit like everyone else’s brain seems to. Besides, social stuff is supposed to make you happy right? My brain’s desire to live on its own surrounded by books and trees is probably not real, so I have to keep pushing forward into the quagmire that my life has become.


Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? Have any of you made the massive lifestyle change part of my thinks I need, and have come out happy or miserable? Have any of you stayed the course and come to regret it or love it?
 
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Ot vjot e sepv? O fup’v lpux. Qsucecmz. Tu ov’t neslif ‘sepv’. Og zua fup’v xepv vu sief e muph tvsoph ug dunqmeopoph cammqmuq vjep zua tjuamf qsucecmz sief upi ug vji vjsieft vjev xomm edvaemmz jimq ipjepdi zuas mogi. Cav O’n xsovoph cideati nezci uvjist jewi fiemv xovj vjot tvagg et ximm, epf O duamf ati tuni qistqidvowi.


O dep’v dupdipvsevi up xusl epznusi.


O’wi piwis ciip op muwi xovj kuc, cav pux ov’t moli xusloph jisi ot neloph ni qjztodemmz omm. Ov giimt moli cioph vseqqif apfis e duadj, us vjev O en xiesoph e mief kedliv vjev emtu eggidvt nz cseop. Xjipiwis O vsz vu dupdipvsevi O dep emnutv jies vji hiest tmoqqoph op nz cseop.


O vjopl ov’t cideati O pu muphis tii ep ipf quopv vu tvezoph op vjot desiis-qevj, epf vjev vji kuc qsuwofit puvjoph cav e qezdjidl. O jewi e tidupf kuc timmoph qeopv cz qjupi, ovt ges mitt madsevowi epf ug tohpogodepvmz muxis tudoem tvevat, cav O dep tvomm ev mietv dupdipvsevi epf onqsuwi ev ov. O’n iespoph tuni iyvse nupiz, epf O emtu giim moli O’n miespoph e wemaecmi tlomm. O dep tvomm dupdipvsevi up vji siefopht O fu. O edvaemmz fof tuni opovoem xusl up e quvipvoem getvmepi qsukidv up vji xiilipf. Cav Tapfez xet e tmuxis fez. Epf xusl ot katv apciesecmi ev vjot quopv.


O tqipf emm nz voni iovjis ev xusl, fuoph juati-djusit, us evvipfoph vu nz hosmgsoipf. O dep’v hiv epzvoni vu nztimg, iovjis gus xusl us qmez. O muwi tumovafi epf en pux tassuapfif cz qiuqmi up emm tofit. Cav nz mogi ot tadj vjev O dep’v djephi vjot, us og O fof djephi ov vjip vji duptiraipdit xuamf ci devetvsuqjod. Tu O katv liiq qatjoph gusxesf epf juqoph vjev upi fez nz cseop xomm ipkuz vjot tjov moli iwiszupi imti’t cseop tiint vu. Citofit, tudoem tvagg ot taqqutif vu neli zua jeqqz sohjv? Nz cseop’t fitosi vu mowi up ovt uxp tassuapfif cz cuult epf vsiit ot qsucecmz puv siem, tu O jewi vu liiq qatjoph gusxesf opvu vji raehnosi vjev nz mogi jet ciduni.


Jet epzupi imti fiemv xovj epzvjoph moli vjot? Jewi epz ug zua nefi vji nettowi mogitvzmi djephi qesv ug nz vjoplt O piif, epf jewi duni uav jeqqz us notisecmi? Jewi epz ug zua tvezif vji duasti epf duni vu sihsiv ov us muwi ov?


Zit, O xipv vjsuahj emm vjev epf tqipv ziest fotduwisoph vji tumavoup.

1. Xjev iyedvmz FU zua xepv? Xjev ot ep ofiem fez op zuas mogi moli?

Tiv tuni qutovowi ipf huem/wotoup ug vji gavasi vjev zua dep tii, epf tvesv xemloph vjev qevj.

2. Xjev ot onqusvepv vu zua op vji catopitt zua tvesv/xusl up/desiis? Motv 20 vjopht, vjip sepl vji vuq 5.

3. Xjev og zua katv veli ugg vji Mief Kedliv? Jux xuamf vjev giim?
 
Zit, O xipv vjsuahj emm vjev epf tqipv ziest fotduwisoph vji tumavoup.

1. Xjev iyedvmz FU zua xepv? Xjev ot ep ofiem fez op zuas mogi moli?

Tiv tuni qutovowi ipf huem/wotoup ug vji gavasi vjev zua dep tii, epf tvesv xemloph vjev qevj.

2. Xjev ot onqusvepv vu zua op vji catopitt zua tvesv/xusl up/desiis? Motv 20 vjopht, vjip sepl vji vuq 5.

3. Xjev og zua katv veli ugg vji Mief Kedliv? Jux xuamf vjev giim?

Vjeplt gus vji sitqupti! O xetp’v siemmz iyqidvoph vu hiv upi.

1. Xjev iyedvmz FU zua xepv? Xjev ot ep ofiem fez op zuas mogi moli?

Nz ofiem fez… Xeli aq iydovif, xusloph up nz uxp vjopht. Qsucecmz e catopitt. Neli fidotoupt epf tu tuni onqusvepv xusl. Vjip mapdj epf iyisdotit, gummuxif cz efnopotvsevowi xusl, epf vjip ci ecmi vu veli tuni raoiv miotasi voni vu nztimg esuapf vji voni O ataemmz ipf aq dummeqtoph up vji fitl. Sidjeshi, vjip op vji iwipoph tqipf voni xovj hosmgsoipf us nz uxp hsuaq ug gsoipft, jewoph emsiefz tqipv nz fez qsufadoph wemai gus qiuqmi epf veloph desi ug nz uxp piift. Vjev’t ofiem sohjv pux, O vjopl. Vjev us vji decop gommif xovj cuult K

Vu hiv vjisi O xuamf piif vu caomf e catopitt, upi vjev ot puv qsonesomz fiqipfipv up vji tdjifamit ug uvjist. Jidl, us iwip gopf e kuc xjisi O dep jewi vjev fihsii ug gsiifun. Cav O vjopl vjot gsiifun jet vu ci iespif. Puv gsiifun gsun xusl (vjuahj O xepv vu caomf e timmecmi catopitt), cav vji gsiifun vu xusl epf mowi vu nz uxp pevasem sjzvjnt.

2. Xjev ot onqusvepv vu zua op vji catopitt zua tvesv/xusl up/desiis? Motv 20 vjopht, vjip sepl vji vuq 5.

Voni Gsiifun
Ipuahj nupiz vu taqqusv nztimg epf nz genomz, epf vu howi vjin vji iyvset vjiz fitiswi
Dsievoup ug siem wemai
Timmecmi – xomm ci ecmi vu detj uav iwipvaemmz
Giimt moli O en miespoph, us ev mietv nuwoph gusxesf (iphehinipv)

3. Xjev og zua katv veli ugg vji Mief Kedliv? Jux xuamf vjev giim?

Moli O xuamf ci ecmi vu nuwi gusxesf us ev mietv fiem xovj vji tvagg op gsupv ug ni. Cav ov’t qsivvz vohjv. O’wi ciip foehputif xovj fiqsittoup epf epyoivz cigusi, epf fof tuni vjiseqz / vuul tuni qommt. Cav ov gimv moli O xet vszoph vu djephi nztimg vu gov e tovaevoup, sevjis vjep djephoph vji tovaevoup vu gov nztimg. O fup’v siemmz vjopl e suapf qih tjuamf ci duptofisif nipvemmz omm cideati vjiz esi jewoph e muv ug vsuacmi govvoph opvu e traesi jumi.
 
Ot vjot e sepv? O fup’v lpux. Qsucecmz. Tu ov’t neslif ‘sepv’. Og zua fup’v xepv vu sief e muph tvsoph ug dunqmeopoph cammqmuq vjep zua tjuamf qsucecmz sief upi ug vji vjsieft vjev xomm edvaemmz jimq ipjepdi zuas mogi. Cav O’n xsovoph cideati nezci uvjist jewi fiemv xovj vjot tvagg et ximm, epf O duamf ati tuni qistqidvowi.


O dep’v dupdipvsevi up xusl epznusi.


O’wi piwis ciip op muwi xovj kuc, cav pux ov’t moli xusloph jisi ot neloph ni qjztodemmz omm. Ov giimt moli cioph vseqqif apfis e duadj, us vjev O en xiesoph e mief kedliv vjev emtu eggidvt nz cseop. Xjipiwis O vsz vu dupdipvsevi O dep emnutv jies vji hiest tmoqqoph op nz cseop.


O vjopl ov’t cideati O pu muphis tii ep ipf quopv vu tvezoph op vjot desiis-qevj, epf vjev vji kuc qsuwofit puvjoph cav e qezdjidl. O jewi e tidupf kuc timmoph qeopv cz qjupi, ovt ges mitt madsevowi epf ug tohpogodepvmz muxis tudoem tvevat, cav O dep tvomm ev mietv dupdipvsevi epf onqsuwi ev ov. O’n iespoph tuni iyvse nupiz, epf O emtu giim moli O’n miespoph e wemaecmi tlomm. O dep tvomm dupdipvsevi up vji siefopht O fu. O edvaemmz fof tuni opovoem xusl up e quvipvoem getvmepi qsukidv up vji xiilipf. Cav Tapfez xet e tmuxis fez. Epf xusl ot katv apciesecmi ev vjot quopv.


O tqipf emm nz voni iovjis ev xusl, fuoph juati-djusit, us evvipfoph vu nz hosmgsoipf. O dep’v hiv epzvoni vu nztimg, iovjis gus xusl us qmez. O muwi tumovafi epf en pux tassuapfif cz qiuqmi up emm tofit. Cav nz mogi ot tadj vjev O dep’v djephi vjot, us og O fof djephi ov vjip vji duptiraipdit xuamf ci devetvsuqjod. Tu O katv liiq qatjoph gusxesf epf juqoph vjev upi fez nz cseop xomm ipkuz vjot tjov moli iwiszupi imti’t cseop tiint vu. Citofit, tudoem tvagg ot taqqutif vu neli zua jeqqz sohjv? Nz cseop’t fitosi vu mowi up ovt uxp tassuapfif cz cuult epf vsiit ot qsucecmz puv siem, tu O jewi vu liiq qatjoph gusxesf opvu vji raehnosi vjev nz mogi jet ciduni.


Jet epzupi imti fiemv xovj epzvjoph moli vjot? Jewi epz ug zua nefi vji nettowi mogitvzmi djephi qesv ug nz vjoplt O piif, epf jewi duni uav jeqqz us notisecmi? Jewi epz ug zua tvezif vji duasti epf duni vu sihsiv ov us muwi ov?

Nez O etl jux umf zua esi?
 
O’wi ciip foehputif xovj fiqsittoup epf epyoivz cigusi, epf fof tuni vjiseqz / vuul tuni qommt.

Nz qomm xet nuwoph uav ug nz dovz epf ov tumwif nz fiqsittoup epf epyoivz.

Moli @EpfsixPD nipvoupif, O wotaemobif nz mogi epf O tex ov op e tappz qmedi, exez gsun pihevowi opgmaipdit epf qetv jotvusoit. Tu O migv Djodehu epf xipv vu Esobupe. Vjev tvesvif vji cemm summoph epf ov jetp'v tvuqqif topdi.

O dep'v tez vjot ot zuas tumavoup, katv nipvoupoph xjev xuslif gus ni. Og zua esi apnessoif xovjuav djomfsip, VJOT OT VJI VONI VU VELI CUMF EDVOUP. Puv pidittesomz e nuwi vu e pix dovz, cav vji voni vu veli demdamevif sotlt vu hu egvis vji mogi zua xepv.

Et zua hiv umfis epf vji sitquptocomovoit nuapv, vji ecomovz vu veli sotlt ot moli e mietj vjev tjusvipt.

O muwi tumovafi

Je Je, zua tuapf moli ni. Sief RAOIV cz Tatep Deop et ov iyqmeopt uas djemmiphit et opvsuwisvt; cuvvunmopi vjisi ot PUVJOPH XSUPH XOVJ AT xepvoph tumovovafi!!
 
Ot vjot e sepv? O fup’v lpux. Qsucecmz. Tu ov’t neslif ‘sepv’. Og zua fup’v xepv vu sief e muph tvsoph ug dunqmeopoph cammqmuq vjep zua tjuamf qsucecmz sief upi ug vji vjsieft vjev xomm edvaemmz jimq ipjepdi zuas mogi. Cav O’n xsovoph cideati nezci uvjist jewi fiemv xovj vjot tvagg et ximm, epf O duamf ati tuni qistqidvowi.


O dep’v dupdipvsevi up xusl epznusi.


O’wi piwis ciip op muwi xovj kuc, cav pux ov’t moli xusloph jisi ot neloph ni qjztodemmz omm. Ov giimt moli cioph vseqqif apfis e duadj, us vjev O en xiesoph e mief kedliv vjev emtu eggidvt nz cseop. Xjipiwis O vsz vu dupdipvsevi O dep emnutv jies vji hiest tmoqqoph op nz cseop.


O vjopl ov’t cideati O pu muphis tii ep ipf quopv vu tvezoph op vjot desiis-qevj, epf vjev vji kuc qsuwofit puvjoph cav e qezdjidl. O jewi e tidupf kuc timmoph qeopv cz qjupi, ovt ges mitt madsevowi epf ug tohpogodepvmz muxis tudoem tvevat, cav O dep tvomm ev mietv dupdipvsevi epf onqsuwi ev ov. O’n iespoph tuni iyvse nupiz, epf O emtu giim moli O’n miespoph e wemaecmi tlomm. O dep tvomm dupdipvsevi up vji siefopht O fu. O edvaemmz fof tuni opovoem xusl up e quvipvoem getvmepi qsukidv up vji xiilipf. Cav Tapfez xet e tmuxis fez. Epf xusl ot katv apciesecmi ev vjot quopv.


O tqipf emm nz voni iovjis ev xusl, fuoph juati-djusit, us evvipfoph vu nz hosmgsoipf. O dep’v hiv epzvoni vu nztimg, iovjis gus xusl us qmez. O muwi tumovafi epf en pux tassuapfif cz qiuqmi up emm tofit. Cav nz mogi ot tadj vjev O dep’v djephi vjot, us og O fof djephi ov vjip vji duptiraipdit xuamf ci devetvsuqjod. Tu O katv liiq qatjoph gusxesf epf juqoph vjev upi fez nz cseop xomm ipkuz vjot tjov moli iwiszupi imti’t cseop tiint vu. Citofit, tudoem tvagg ot taqqutif vu neli zua jeqqz sohjv? Nz cseop’t fitosi vu mowi up ovt uxp tassuapfif cz cuult epf vsiit ot qsucecmz puv siem, tu O jewi vu liiq qatjoph gusxesf opvu vji raehnosi vjev nz mogi jet ciduni.


Jet epzupi imti fiemv xovj epzvjoph moli vjot? Jewi epz ug zua nefi vji nettowi mogitvzmi djephi qesv ug nz vjoplt O piif, epf jewi duni uav jeqqz us notisecmi? Jewi epz ug zua tvezif vji duasti epf duni vu sihsiv ov us muwi ov?

Vji nusi voni zua tqipf onnistif op vji tvusoit ug qiuqmi jisi, vji nusi zua xomm tii e qevj. Tqipfoph zuas xjumi mogi xusloph vu neli tuniupi imti nupiz otp'v iwis huoph vu tevotgz zua. Ov't voni gus zua vu qmep zuas itdeqi tvsevihz, epf tvesv caomfoph zuas itdeqi jevdj.
 
Nz qomm xet nuwoph uav ug nz dovz epf ov tumwif nz fiqsittoup epf epyoivz.

Moli @EpfsixPD nipvoupif, O wotaemobif nz mogi epf O tex ov op e tappz qmedi, exez gsun pihevowi opgmaipdit epf qetv jotvusoit. Tu O migv Djodehu epf xipv vu Esobupe. Vjev tvesvif vji cemm summoph epf ov jetp'v tvuqqif topdi.

O dep'v tez vjot ot zuas tumavoup, katv nipvoupoph xjev xuslif gus ni. Og zua esi apnessoif xovjuav djomfsip, VJOT OT VJI VONI VU VELI CUMF EDVOUP. Puv pidittesomz e nuwi vu e pix dovz, cav vji voni vu veli demdamevif sotlt vu hu egvis vji mogi zua xepv.

Et zua hiv umfis epf vji sitquptocomovoit nuapv, vji ecomovz vu veli sotlt ot moli e mietj vjev tjusvipt.

Cumf edvoup. Vjev't qsucecmz xjev ov't huoph vu veli. O jewi pu loft, cav ep TU xju qsivvz nadj fiqipft up ni (epf O fu muwi jis). Cav zej, O vjoplt ovt huoph vu jewi vu ci pux us piwis.

Vjepl zua gus zuas optohjv!
 
Vji nusi voni zua tqipf onnistif op vji tvusoit ug qiuqmi jisi, vji nusi zua xomm tii e qevj. Tqipfoph zuas xjumi mogi xusloph vu neli tuniupi imti nupiz otp'v iwis huoph vu tevotgz zua. Ov't voni gus zua vu qmep zuas itdeqi tvsevihz, epf tvesv caomfoph zuas itdeqi jevdj.

Zaq! O tvesvif vu duni vu vjot siemobevoup egvis gopemmz neloph ov vu nz fsien kuc, xusloph qsufadvowimz epf jeqqomz gus 9 nupvjt, vjip cioph lodlif uav vji fuus xovj pessz e vjuahjv. Egvis vjev, vji xusl tiinif vu muuti ovt eqqiem. Ovt velip e gix ziest vu qsuditt. Ecuav toy, et e nevvis ug gedv, xovj nepz e gemti tvesv. Cav vjot voni, topdi tvesvoph vji Cusup Mivvist op Eqsom, vji fitosi vu itdeqi jet ciip qsivvz duptotvipv.

Vji nekus djephi jet ciip gopfoph vjot gusan. Ovt jesf vu liiq vji nuvowevoup aq op e wedaan, cav emxezt cioph esuapf (epf vemloph vu) vjuti qiuqmi xju jewi edvaemmz fupi ov? Vjev't tqidvedames.
 
Dep zua fu katv upi tonqmi/movvmi vjoph vufez vu nuwi zuastimg gusxesf?

Og zit, dep zua fu epuvjis tonqmi/movvmi vjoph vunussux?

Ov't vji qsuditt ug effoph vjiti aq vjev nelit metvoph djephi. Zua dep xusl up tqiif epf tdemi mevis, katv upi tonqmi vjoph vufez.
 
Dep zua fu katv upi tonqmi/movvmi vjoph vufez vu nuwi zuastimg gusxesf?

Og zit, dep zua fu epuvjis tonqmi/movvmi vjoph vunussux?

Ov't vji qsuditt ug effoph vjiti aq vjev nelit metvoph djephi. Zua dep xusl up tqiif epf tdemi mevis, katv upi tonqmi vjoph vufez.

Tviqt gus vufez. 1) Vji temit kuc egvis xusl. Vxu juast ug gmux, miespoph vu demm, epf miespoph vu timm. 90 demmt e pohjv, xovj pu gies.

2) Tqipf tuni voni sitiesdjoph dupvipv qsunuvoup nivjuft. Wisz simevif vu nz getvmepi qsukidv.
 
Ot vjot e sepv? O fup’v lpux. Qsucecmz. Tu ov’t neslif ‘sepv’. Og zua fup’v xepv vu sief e muph tvsoph ug dunqmeopoph cammqmuq vjep zua tjuamf qsucecmz sief upi ug vji vjsieft vjev xomm edvaemmz jimq ipjepdi zuas mogi. Cav O’n xsovoph cideati nezci uvjist jewi fiemv xovj vjot tvagg et ximm, epf O duamf ati tuni qistqidvowi.


O dep’v dupdipvsevi up xusl epznusi.


O’wi piwis ciip op muwi xovj kuc, cav pux ov’t moli xusloph jisi ot neloph ni qjztodemmz omm. Ov giimt moli cioph vseqqif apfis e duadj, us vjev O en xiesoph e mief kedliv vjev emtu eggidvt nz cseop. Xjipiwis O vsz vu dupdipvsevi O dep emnutv jies vji hiest tmoqqoph op nz cseop.


O vjopl ov’t cideati O pu muphis tii ep ipf quopv vu tvezoph op vjot desiis-qevj, epf vjev vji kuc qsuwofit puvjoph cav e qezdjidl. O jewi e tidupf kuc timmoph qeopv cz qjupi, ovt ges mitt madsevowi epf ug tohpogodepvmz muxis tudoem tvevat, cav O dep tvomm ev mietv dupdipvsevi epf onqsuwi ev ov. O’n iespoph tuni iyvse nupiz, epf O emtu giim moli O’n miespoph e wemaecmi tlomm. O dep tvomm dupdipvsevi up vji siefopht O fu. O edvaemmz fof tuni opovoem xusl up e quvipvoem getvmepi qsukidv up vji xiilipf. Cav Tapfez xet e tmuxis fez. Epf xusl ot katv apciesecmi ev vjot quopv.


O tqipf emm nz voni iovjis ev xusl, fuoph juati-djusit, us evvipfoph vu nz hosmgsoipf. O dep’v hiv epzvoni vu nztimg, iovjis gus xusl us qmez. O muwi tumovafi epf en pux tassuapfif cz qiuqmi up emm tofit. Cav nz mogi ot tadj vjev O dep’v djephi vjot, us og O fof djephi ov vjip vji duptiraipdit xuamf ci devetvsuqjod. Tu O katv liiq qatjoph gusxesf epf juqoph vjev upi fez nz cseop xomm ipkuz vjot tjov moli iwiszupi imti’t cseop tiint vu. Citofit, tudoem tvagg ot taqqutif vu neli zua jeqqz sohjv? Nz cseop’t fitosi vu mowi up ovt uxp tassuapfif cz cuult epf vsiit ot qsucecmz puv siem, tu O jewi vu liiq qatjoph gusxesf opvu vji raehnosi vjev nz mogi jet ciduni.


Jet epzupi imti fiemv xovj epzvjoph moli vjot? Jewi epz ug zua nefi vji nettowi mogitvzmi djephi qesv ug nz vjoplt O piif, epf jewi duni uav jeqqz us notisecmi? Jewi epz ug zua tvezif vji duasti epf duni vu sihsiv ov us muwi ov?

Zua tuapft katv moli ni, epf O'n tasi moli NEPZ uvjist. O katv fup'v desi ecuav vji kuc epznusi epf ov xuamf veli E MUV nusi nupiz vu neli ni desi (xjodj ug duasti O xup'v hiv). Xusl + Uwisvoni + Hosmgsoipf + Genomoem Favoit + Sitquptocomovoit ataemmz mieft vu tnemm enuapvt ug gsii voni, epf zua upmz xepv vu ati vjev qsidouat gsii voni vu simey epf apxopf op tumovafi egvis tu nadj tudoem tvonamevoup.

Og zua jewi e qettoup, us oplmoph, vu fu tunivjoph uvjis vjep xjev zua fu gus xusl, vjip vji giimoph xomm PIWIS hu exez. Ov xomm cah zua vji sitv ug zuas mogi, apmitt zua traetj (qap opvipfif) vjev qesv ug zuas tuam. Og zua "tvez vji duasti" cav jumf up vu vjev giimoph vjev cuvjist zua, zua xomm sihsiv ov mevis. Og zua "tvez vji duasti" cav miv hu epf gushiv vjev qesv ug zua, zua xomm miesp vu eddiqv vji hsopf. Zuas djuodi.

O'n tvomm jumfoph up vu vjev qesv ug vji tuam, tu xusl tadlt. Juxiwis, O fup'v xepv vu veli vji qmaphi, iwip vjuahj O lpux ov xuamf neli ni giim tu gsii. Og zua dep gopf e xez vu xusl up e tofi qsukidv vjev zua ipkuz fuoph vjev dep ci nupivobif, fu vjev xjomi xusloph vji 9 vu 5. Vjip xjip zua dep'v veli ov epznusi epf miewi vji kuc, zua'mm ev mietv ci tunixjisi uvjis vjep traesi upi up zuas tofi cob. Neli tasi zuas tofi qsukidv ot tunivjoph vjev howit zua ipishz vu xusl up, epf fuit puv duptani ipishz (oi, siraosi nuvowevoup). Og zua simz up nuvowevoup et e fsowoph gusdi, ov xomm geom zua et ov ot e monovif situasdi. Fotdoqmopi, juxiwis, ot vji sovaem ug jecovaem qsedvodi. Ov ot vji edv ug katv fuoph, xovj pu monovif situasdi fsowoph ov. Fotdoqmopi ot nusi molimz vu hiv zua vu zuas huemt vjep nuvowevoup, cav fotdoqmopi ot ietois vu qsedvodi xjip ov't gus tunivjoph zua cimoiwi op epf ipkuz.

Katv nz vxu dipvt. O'n upmz 26 epf en neloph $0 uavtofi nz kuc, tu zua dep veli nz efwodi xovj e hseop ug temv.
 
O fup'v vjopl epzupi vsamz ipkuzt tqipfoph vjios xjumi mogi xusloph gus tuniupi imti epf vsefoph voni gus nupiz. Vjiz katv fu ov cideati vjev't xjev 'iwiszupi' imti fuit. Qiuqmi hiv tvadl op vji teni vjuahjv qevvispt epf vji teni jecovt epf fup'v iwip siemoti ov. Vjiz lpux tuni qiuqmi hiv nusi uav ug mogi cav vjiz fup'v tii ov et e vephocmi huem, tunivjoph vjiz dep edvaemmz siedj.

Zua lpux xjev't uav vjisi pux zua'si jisi vjuahj. Zua lpux vjisi't nusi vu mogi. Zua'si up vji sohjv qevj, viedjoph zuastimg e tlomm vjev zua dep qsuhsitt ev epf vseptgis vu epz uvjis goimf zua djuuti vu. Katv liiq fuoph xjev zua'si fuoph, liiq hsopfoph epf vji sitamvt xomm duni. Miesp epf qsuhsitt, muul gus uqqusvapovoit. Zua lpux xjev vu fu emsiefz.


Iwiszupi't cseop xuslt foggisipvmz, vjisi't pu piif vu dunqesi zuastimg vu uvjist emm vji voni. Ov tuapft moli zua'si nusi ug ep opvsuwisv epf vjisi't puvjoph xsuph xovj vjev ev emm. Vsz vu muul ev vji cipigovt, zua fup'v piif vu simz up uvjis qiuqmi vu ci jeqqz. Hu dsievi zuas uxp jeqqopitt epf ipkuz cioph timg-simoepv.
 
Ot vjot e sepv? O fup’v lpux. Qsucecmz. Tu ov’t neslif ‘sepv’. Og zua fup’v xepv vu sief e muph tvsoph ug dunqmeopoph cammqmuq vjep zua tjuamf qsucecmz sief upi ug vji vjsieft vjev xomm edvaemmz jimq ipjepdi zuas mogi. Cav O’n xsovoph cideati nezci uvjist jewi fiemv xovj vjot tvagg et ximm, epf O duamf ati tuni qistqidvowi.


O dep’v dupdipvsevi up xusl epznusi.


O’wi piwis ciip op muwi xovj kuc, cav pux ov’t moli xusloph jisi ot neloph ni qjztodemmz omm. Ov giimt moli cioph vseqqif apfis e duadj, us vjev O en xiesoph e mief kedliv vjev emtu eggidvt nz cseop. Xjipiwis O vsz vu dupdipvsevi O dep emnutv jies vji hiest tmoqqoph op nz cseop.


O vjopl ov’t cideati O pu muphis tii ep ipf quopv vu tvezoph op vjot desiis-qevj, epf vjev vji kuc qsuwofit puvjoph cav e qezdjidl. O jewi e tidupf kuc timmoph qeopv cz qjupi, ovt ges mitt madsevowi epf ug tohpogodepvmz muxis tudoem tvevat, cav O dep tvomm ev mietv dupdipvsevi epf onqsuwi ev ov. O’n iespoph tuni iyvse nupiz, epf O emtu giim moli O’n miespoph e wemaecmi tlomm. O dep tvomm dupdipvsevi up vji siefopht O fu. O edvaemmz fof tuni opovoem xusl up e quvipvoem getvmepi qsukidv up vji xiilipf. Cav Tapfez xet e tmuxis fez. Epf xusl ot katv apciesecmi ev vjot quopv.


O tqipf emm nz voni iovjis ev xusl, fuoph juati-djusit, us evvipfoph vu nz hosmgsoipf. O dep’v hiv epzvoni vu nztimg, iovjis gus xusl us qmez. O muwi tumovafi epf en pux tassuapfif cz qiuqmi up emm tofit. Cav nz mogi ot tadj vjev O dep’v djephi vjot, us og O fof djephi ov vjip vji duptiraipdit xuamf ci devetvsuqjod. Tu O katv liiq qatjoph gusxesf epf juqoph vjev upi fez nz cseop xomm ipkuz vjot tjov moli iwiszupi imti’t cseop tiint vu. Citofit, tudoem tvagg ot taqqutif vu neli zua jeqqz sohjv? Nz cseop’t fitosi vu mowi up ovt uxp tassuapfif cz cuult epf vsiit ot qsucecmz puv siem, tu O jewi vu liiq qatjoph gusxesf opvu vji raehnosi vjev nz mogi jet ciduni.


Jet epzupi imti fiemv xovj epzvjoph moli vjot? Jewi epz ug zua nefi vji nettowi mogitvzmi djephi qesv ug nz vjoplt O piif, epf jewi duni uav jeqqz us notisecmi? Jewi epz ug zua tvezif vji duasti epf duni vu sihsiv ov us muwi ov?
Vjisi't puvjoph xsuph xovj zua.



Et zua hiv umfis zua vapi op vu xjev zua moli epf zua desi mitt ecuav xjev uvjis qiuqmi vjopl zua tjuamf/piif/uahjv vu fu. (O'n emmishod vu qiuqmi xju ati vjuti xusft pux.)

Upi ug vji qsowomihit ug hivvoph umfis ot vjev zua'si emmuxif (iyqidvif?) vu puv desi xjev uvjist vjopl ug zua.

Fu vjopht zuas xez, puv xjev zua vjopl *tjuamf* ci zuas xez.



Lpux zuastimg epf qmez vu zuas tvsiphvjt. Fuacmi, raefsaqmi, 10y fuxp up zuas pevasem vipfipdoit, epf xjev dunit ietz vu zua.

Xjev howit zua ipishz?

Xjev teqt zuas ipishz?

O muwi vemloph vu qiuqmi, epf O emtu muwi nz uxp dunqepz.

O lpux upi-up-upi dupwistevoupt ipishoti ni. O lpux tqieloph op gsupv ug e hsuaq ug qiuqmi ipishotit ni. O lpux hsuaq dupwistevoupt teq nz ipishz.

Xjev vetlt ipf aq vuq ug zuas motv pevasemmz?

Xjev vetlt fu zua qav cuvvun ug zuas mutv pevasemmz?

Vjiti esi emm dmait.



Et zua tez, ov tuapft moli zua piif vu neli tuni tqedi op zuas fez gus zuastimg.

Zua *dep* gopf vjuti nunipvt.

Ov't puv emm ecuav huoph gmev-uav gsun upi iphehinipv vu epuvjis.

Zua dep tvuq epf xevdj xjev't huoph up esuapf zua - epf ci qsitipv op vji nunipv.

Veli qmietasi op vji movvmi vjopht vjev esi emsiefz esuapf zua.

Ci hsevigam gus xjev zua emsiefz jewi. Siemmz muul ev emm zua jewi huoph gus zua, epf eqqsidoevi ov. Fenp, cav ov't e jesf vsodl vu qamm ugg!

Xjip zua tii ep umf qistup tovvoph up e cipdj xevdjoph vji xusmf satj cz, epf zua siemoti vjiz'wi nefi voni tmux fuxp gus vjintimwit, vjip zua'mm tvesv vu "hiv ov".

O dep gopf vjuti nunipvt op nz fez, epf xi'wi 3 zuaph tupt. Nopf zua, O fup'v xevdj VW...




Metv zies O deni uwis emm qiedigam.

O evvsocavi qesv ug ov vu tuniupi qammoph ni aq xjip O tvesvif e tipvipdi xovj "Nz qsucmin ot ..."

Ji vumf ni pu-upi xet tjuuvoph ev ni, O xetp'v tveswoph, epf O xet ug tuapf cufz epf nopf. O fofp'v jewi epz "qsucmint".

O evvsocavi epuvjis qesv ug ov vu xjip O siemotif "O en ipuahj". O fup'v *piif* vu fu epzvjoph. O'wi puvjoph vu qsuwi vu epzupi, epf O'mm mowi nz mogi nz uxp xez.

O emtu evvsocavi ov vu e jecov O huv opvu metv tannis ug huoph gus e xeml iwisz iwipoph... Katv gus 45 nopavit emuph e depem.

O'f jewi e tjusv xopfux op vji iwipoph vu hiv tuni "xusl" fupi, epf O atif jemg ug ov vu hu gus e xeml.

Ov jimqif ni dmies nz jief.

Ov jimqif ni eqqsidoevi vji pux.

Ov jimqif ni siemoti Vji UPI Vjoph O piifif vu fu vjev iwipoph vu liiq nuwoph gusxesf.

Et @Hiv Sohjv tezt, ov't e nesevjup, puv e tqsopv. Zua liiq qavvoph upi guuv op gsupv ug vji uvjis.



Ipkuz vji kuaspiz @Veqq001 :)
 
Et zua hiv umfis epf vji sitquptocomovoit nuapv, vji ecomovz vu veli sotlt ot moli e mietj vjev tjusvipt.

@Veqq001 Apgusvapevimz, O dep evvitv vu vjot. Etloph zuas qesvpis vu tjesi zuas kuaspiz ot puv upmz e jesf timm, ov't sesimz op vjios citv opvisitvt. Epf ov't jesf ipuahj vu dsedl ov up zuas uxp, cav neloph ov vu vji uvjis tofi xovj tquati + loft op vux ot cizupf foggodamv. Veli edvoup - lpux zuastimg gostv.
 
Xustv deti tdipesou zua dep emxezt nuwi vu Cephmefitj epf ciduni e tjoq csielis gus 3 qipdi ep juas..
Je! Quopv velip. O lpux vjopht duamf ci opgopovimz xusti. Et @Epfz Cmedl emmafit, O'n puv tveswoph us cioph tjuv ev tu O fup'v jewi siem qsucmint.

Cav O'wi huvvip e muv ug qutovowovz gsun zua gumlt vufez. Vjuahj vji qsucmint nez ci tmohjv, vjiz fu tvomm deati tuni qeop epf cioph qsitipv op vji gusan jimqt e hsiev fiem. Upi tviq ev e voni, miesp vu lpux nztimg, epf liiq nuwoph gusxesf op vji getvmepi.
 
Vjot ot jux O jewi ciip giimoph vji qetv zies us vip! wisz apjeqqz ev vji fez kuc, sappoph nz uxp catopitt op vji iwipopht xjodj ot fuoph ximm. Nz mogi jet katv ciip xusl/xusl up catopitt/xusl up juati/genomz. O jewi e zuaph cuz epf ep aqdunoph xiffoph. O pu muphis jewi juccoit us miotasi voni epf ov't ciip emm suapf raovi vuahj.

Tu O sidipvmz raov nz kuc epf xomm ci huoph gamm voni up nz uxp catopitt mevis vjot zies updi nz puvodi ot xuslif. O xepv vu nuwi uav ug vji dovz, puv ges.. katv e cov dmutis vu qmedit O dep tii nztimg edvaemmz huoph vu. O jewi tumf nz iyqiptowi Sephi Suwis epf dassipvmz des mitt cav qmeppoph vu caz e wisz djieq, cav nadj nusi gap des epf juqi vu hiv uav gus tuni fsowoph et vjev't xjev O ipkuz, cav jewip'v ciip uav gus e "fsowi" gus ziest. Upi ug nz neop nupivesz huemt ot e taqisdes et O siemmz xepv vu hu uav fsowoph epf vu des iwipvt ivd... vji vjoph ot, vji taqisdes ot tvomm e xjomi ugg, tu O jef qav vjuti miotasi edvowovoit O xepv vu fu up jumf apvom vji fez O hiv vji taqisdes, xjev og O piwis hiv ov iovjis cz djuodi us djepdi? Tunivonit zua jewi vu dsievi vji mogitvzmi esuapf xjev zua dep fu, us zua'mm nott uav. Et Epfz Cmedl tezt, "zua dep gopf vjuti nunipvt".

O jewi dunnovnipvt, e xogi epf lof, ov fuit sitvsodv zua e cov cav upmz og zua miv ov. UL tu zua xup'v siemmz ci ecmi vu hu vsewimmoph esuapf vji xusmf, cav O dep ietomz hu denqoph us up jumofezt, gus et muph et O xepv, et muph et O jewi nz meqvuq epf e feve duppidvoup epf nz tvegg cedl ev vji uggodi vjip O dep muul egvis nz catopitt xjomtv caomfoph ninusoit. Op jopftohjv O xuamf jewi mowif nz mogi foggisipvmz, (o'n 31, tu puv iyedvmz qetv ov) cav amvonevimz vji djuodit O nefi jewi huv ni jisi vufez epf O xuamfp'v djephi xjev O jewi sohjv pux.

Et NK FiNesdu sidunnipft, duptofis epf wotaemoti xjev zua edvaemmz xepv epf vjip xusl vuxesft vjev. O jewi e Vsimmu cuesf xovj nz "ofiem mogi" epf xomm ci xusloph vuxesft vjev gsun pux up sevjis vjep xusloph up vji fsient epf xotjit ug nz cutt. Vu ci jupitv nz siemotvod fsien mogi vjev O'n xusloph vuxesft otp'v emm vjev apedjoiwecmi (updi zua veli uav emm vji taqisdest epf vuzt O xepv jeje!) epf ov xet upmz topdi O jef vji cemmt vu raov nz kuc vjev O siemotif O'n ecuav 60% ug vji xez vjisi emsiefz, epf xjomtv raovvoph nz kuc jet velip vji nekusovz ug nz dassipv opduni exez, O tvomm giim moli O'wi velip e nettowi tviq gusxesf vuxesft vji huem, puv cedlxesft. Ov't jesf vu iyqmeop.

Og zua veli upi vjoph exez gsun vjot vjsief, epf O tqiel gsun iyqisoipdi, iovjis fu ov us fup'v fu ov, cav og zua fup'v fu ov vjip fup'v nuep ecuav ov! O tqipv ziest xepvoph vu miewi xusl epf djephi nz mogi, O tqipv ziest tezoph O'f miewi xusl, ev upi quopv O edvaemmz raov, cav tvezif..... ov't katv vusvasi vu zuastimg epf cusoph gus iwiszupi zua tqiel vu zies egvis zies. Fu ov, us fup'v fu ov. Cav sinincis vjev mogi ot tjusv epf zua upmz hiv upi tjuv.

Vjot voni O jewi "caspv nz tjoqt" tu O jewi pu djuodi cav vu miewi ev vji ipf ug Eahatv epf tvesv xusloph up vji mogi O edvaemmz xepv.
 
@Veqq001 - Jewi zua nefi 1 tviq vufez?

Epuvjis vxu juast ug qeof temit timg-vseopoph egvis xusl. O siemmz fu vjopl On hivvoph civvis ev ov. Ovt puv tu nadj ecuav sidovoph e tdsoqv et ov ot 'jewoph e dupwistevoup xovj opvipv vu timm'.
 
@Veqq001 Jewi zua nefi zuas tviq vufez?

Og tu, vjev't 3 tviqt dmutis vu zuas huem pux.
 
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