Life & Work Feels like Wearing a Lead Jacket

[Tapp001]

Is this a rant? I don’t know. Probably. So it’s marked ‘rant’. If you don’t want to read a long string of complaining bullplop than you should probably read one of the threads that will actually help enhance your life. But I’m writing because maybe others have dealt with this stuff as well, and I could use some perspective.


I can’t concentrate on work anymore.


I’ve never been in love with job, but now it’s like working here is making me physically ill. It feels like being trapped under a couch, or that I am wearing a lead jacket that also affects my brain. Whenever I try to concentrate I can almost hear the gears slipping in my brain.


I think it’s because I no longer see an end point to staying in this career-path, and that the job provides nothing but a paycheck. I have a second job selling paint by phone, its far less lucrative and of significantly lower social status, but I can still at least concentrate and improve at it. I’m earning some extra money, and I also feel like I’m learning a valuable skill. I can still concentrate on the readings I do. I actually did some initial work on a potential fastlane project on the weekend. But Sunday was a slower day. And work is just unbearable at this point.


I spend all my time either at work, doing house-chores, or attending to my girlfriend. I can’t get anytime to myself, either for work or play. I love solitude and am now surrounded by people on all sides. But my life is such that I can’t change this, or if I did change it then the consequences would be catastrophic. So I just keep pushing forward and hoping that one day my brain will enjoy this shit like everyone else’s brain seems to. Besides, social stuff is supposed to make you happy right? My brain’s desire to live on its own surrounded by books and trees is probably not real, so I have to keep pushing forward into the quagmire that my life has become.


Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? Have any of you made the massive lifestyle change part of my thinks I need, and have come out happy or miserable? Have any of you stayed the course and come to regret it or love it?

 

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[AndrewNC]

Is this a rant? I don’t know. Probably. So it’s marked ‘rant’. If you don’t want to read a long string of complaining bullplop than you should probably read one of the threads that will actually help enhance your life. But I’m writing because maybe others have dealt with this stuff as well, and I could use some perspective.


I can’t concentrate on work anymore.


I’ve never been in love with job, but now it’s like working here is making me physically ill. It feels like being trapped under a couch, or that I am wearing a lead jacket that also affects my brain. Whenever I try to concentrate I can almost hear the gears slipping in my brain.


I think it’s because I no longer see an end point to staying in this career-path, and that the job provides nothing but a paycheck. I have a second job selling paint by phone, its far less lucrative and of significantly lower social status, but I can still at least concentrate and improve at it. I’m earning some extra money, and I also feel like I’m learning a valuable skill. I can still concentrate on the readings I do. I actually did some initial work on a potential fastlane project on the weekend. But Sunday was a slower day. And work is just unbearable at this point.


I spend all my time either at work, doing house-chores, or attending to my girlfriend. I can’t get anytime to myself, either for work or play. I love solitude and am now surrounded by people on all sides. But my life is such that I can’t change this, or if I did change it then the consequences would be catastrophic. So I just keep pushing forward and hoping that one day my brain will enjoy this shit like everyone else’s brain seems to. Besides, social stuff is supposed to make you happy right? My brain’s desire to live on its own surrounded by books and trees is probably not real, so I have to keep pushing forward into the quagmire that my life has become.


Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? Have any of you made the massive lifestyle change part of my thinks I need, and have come out happy or miserable? Have any of you stayed the course and come to regret it or love it?

Yes, I went through all that and spent years discovering the solution.

1. What exactly DO you want? What is an ideal day in your life like?

Set some positive end goal/vision of the future that you can see, and start walking that path.

2. What is important to you in the business you start/work on/career? List 20 things, then rank the top 5.

3. What if you just take off the Lead Jacket? How would that feel?

 

[Tapp001]

Yes, I went through all that and spent years discovering the solution.

1. What exactly DO you want? What is an ideal day in your life like?

Set some positive end goal/vision of the future that you can see, and start walking that path.

2. What is important to you in the business you start/work on/career? List 20 things, then rank the top 5.

3. What if you just take off the Lead Jacket? How would that feel?

Thanks for the response! I wasn’t really expecting to get one.

1. What exactly DO you want? What is an ideal day in your life like?

My ideal day… Wake up excited, working on my own things. Probably a business. Make decisions and so some important work. Then lunch and exercises, followed by administrative work, and then be able to take some quiet leisure time to myself around the time I usually end up collapsing on the desk. Recharge, then in the evening spend time with girlfriend or my own group of friends, having already spent my day producing value for people and taking care of my own needs. That’s ideal right now, I think. That or the cabin filled with books J

To get there I would need to build a business, one that is not primarily dependent on the schedules of others. Heck, or even find a job where I can have that degree of freedom. But I think this freedom has to be earned. Not freedom from work (though I want to build a sellable business), but the freedom to work and live to my own natural rhythms.

2. What is important to you in the business you start/work on/career? List 20 things, then rank the top 5.

Time Freedom
Enough money to support myself and my family, and to give them the extras they deserve
Creation of real value
Sellable – will be able to cash out eventually
Feels like I am learning, or at least moving forward (engagement)

3. What if you just take off the Lead Jacket? How would that feel?

Like I would be able to move forward or at least deal with the stuff in front of me. But it’s pretty tight. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety before, and did some therapy / took some pills. But it felt like I was trying to change myself to fit a situation, rather than changing the situation to fit myself. I don’t really think a round peg should be considered mentally ill because they are having a lot of trouble fitting into a square hole.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Is this a rant? I don’t know. Probably. So it’s marked ‘rant’. If you don’t want to read a long string of complaining bullplop than you should probably read one of the threads that will actually help enhance your life. But I’m writing because maybe others have dealt with this stuff as well, and I could use some perspective.


I can’t concentrate on work anymore.


I’ve never been in love with job, but now it’s like working here is making me physically ill. It feels like being trapped under a couch, or that I am wearing a lead jacket that also affects my brain. Whenever I try to concentrate I can almost hear the gears slipping in my brain.


I think it’s because I no longer see an end point to staying in this career-path, and that the job provides nothing but a paycheck. I have a second job selling paint by phone, its far less lucrative and of significantly lower social status, but I can still at least concentrate and improve at it. I’m earning some extra money, and I also feel like I’m learning a valuable skill. I can still concentrate on the readings I do. I actually did some initial work on a potential fastlane project on the weekend. But Sunday was a slower day. And work is just unbearable at this point.


I spend all my time either at work, doing house-chores, or attending to my girlfriend. I can’t get anytime to myself, either for work or play. I love solitude and am now surrounded by people on all sides. But my life is such that I can’t change this, or if I did change it then the consequences would be catastrophic. So I just keep pushing forward and hoping that one day my brain will enjoy this shit like everyone else’s brain seems to. Besides, social stuff is supposed to make you happy right? My brain’s desire to live on its own surrounded by books and trees is probably not real, so I have to keep pushing forward into the quagmire that my life has become.


Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? Have any of you made the massive lifestyle change part of my thinks I need, and have come out happy or miserable? Have any of you stayed the course and come to regret it or love it?

May I ask how old you are?

 

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[Tapp001]

May I ask how old you are?

Sure! I'm 29.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety before, and did some therapy / took some pills.

My pill was moving out of my city and it solved my depression and anxiety.

Like @AndrewNC mentioned, I visualized my life and I saw it in a sunny place, away from negative influences and past histories. So I left Chicago and went to Arizona. That started the ball rolling and it hasn't stopped since.

I can't say this is your solution, just mentioning what worked for me. If you are unmarried without children, THIS IS THE TIME TO TAKE BOLD ACTION. Not necessarily a move to a new city, but the time to take calculated risks to go after the life you want.

As you get older and the responsibilities mount, the ability to take risks is like a leash that shortens.

I love solitude

Ha Ha, you sound like me. Read QUIET by Susan Cain as it explains our challenges as introverts; bottomline there is NOTHING WRONG WITH US wanting solititude!!

 

[Vigilante]

Is this a rant? I don’t know. Probably. So it’s marked ‘rant’. If you don’t want to read a long string of complaining bullplop than you should probably read one of the threads that will actually help enhance your life. But I’m writing because maybe others have dealt with this stuff as well, and I could use some perspective.


I can’t concentrate on work anymore.


I’ve never been in love with job, but now it’s like working here is making me physically ill. It feels like being trapped under a couch, or that I am wearing a lead jacket that also affects my brain. Whenever I try to concentrate I can almost hear the gears slipping in my brain.


I think it’s because I no longer see an end point to staying in this career-path, and that the job provides nothing but a paycheck. I have a second job selling paint by phone, its far less lucrative and of significantly lower social status, but I can still at least concentrate and improve at it. I’m earning some extra money, and I also feel like I’m learning a valuable skill. I can still concentrate on the readings I do. I actually did some initial work on a potential fastlane project on the weekend. But Sunday was a slower day. And work is just unbearable at this point.


I spend all my time either at work, doing house-chores, or attending to my girlfriend. I can’t get anytime to myself, either for work or play. I love solitude and am now surrounded by people on all sides. But my life is such that I can’t change this, or if I did change it then the consequences would be catastrophic. So I just keep pushing forward and hoping that one day my brain will enjoy this shit like everyone else’s brain seems to. Besides, social stuff is supposed to make you happy right? My brain’s desire to live on its own surrounded by books and trees is probably not real, so I have to keep pushing forward into the quagmire that my life has become.


Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? Have any of you made the massive lifestyle change part of my thinks I need, and have come out happy or miserable? Have any of you stayed the course and come to regret it or love it?

The more time you spend immersed in the stories of people here, the more you will see a path. Spending your whole life working to make someone else money isn't ever going to satisfy you. It's time for you to plan your escape strategy, and start building your escape hatch.

 

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[Tapp001]

My pill was moving out of my city and it solved my depression and anxiety.

Like @AndrewNC mentioned, I visualized my life and I saw it in a sunny place, away from negative influences and past histories. So I left Chicago and went to Arizona. That started the ball rolling and it hasn't stopped since.

I can't say this is your solution, just mentioning what worked for me. If you are unmarried without children, THIS IS THE TIME TO TAKE BOLD ACTION. Not necessarily a move to a new city, but the time to take calculated risks to go after the life you want.

As you get older and the responsibilities mount, the ability to take risks is like a leash that shortens.

Bold action. That's probably what it's going to take. I have no kids, but an SO who pretty much depends on me (and I do love her). But yah, I thinks its going to have to be now or never.

Thank you for your insight!

 

[Tapp001]

The more time you spend immersed in the stories of people here, the more you will see a path. Spending your whole life working to make someone else money isn't ever going to satisfy you. It's time for you to plan your escape strategy, and start building your escape hatch.

Yup! I started to come to this realization after finally making it to my dream job, working productively and happily for 9 months, then being kicked out the door with narry a thought. After that, the work seemed to loose its appeal. Its taken a few years to process. About six, as a matter of fact, with many a false start. But this time, since starting the Boron Letters in April, the desire to escape has been pretty consistent.

The major change has been finding this forum. Its hard to keep the motivation up in a vacuum, but always being around (and talking to) those people who have actually done it? That's spectacular.

 

[Get Right]

Can you do just one simple/little thing today to move yourself forward?

If yes, can you do another simple/little thing tomorrow?

It's the process of adding these up that makes lasting change. You can work on speed and scale later, just one simple thing today.

 

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[Tapp001]

Can you do just one simple/little thing today to move yourself forward?

If yes, can you do another simple/little thing tomorrow?

It's the process of adding these up that makes lasting change. You can work on speed and scale later, just one simple thing today.

Steps for today. 1) The sales job after work. Two hours of flow, learning to call, and learning to sell. 90 calls a night, with no fear.

2) Spend some time researching content promotion methods. Very related to my fastlane project.

 

[Get Right]

Cool, just remember this is a marathon, not a sprint.

 

[Sean Haddad]

Is this a rant? I don’t know. Probably. So it’s marked ‘rant’. If you don’t want to read a long string of complaining bullplop than you should probably read one of the threads that will actually help enhance your life. But I’m writing because maybe others have dealt with this stuff as well, and I could use some perspective.


I can’t concentrate on work anymore.


I’ve never been in love with job, but now it’s like working here is making me physically ill. It feels like being trapped under a couch, or that I am wearing a lead jacket that also affects my brain. Whenever I try to concentrate I can almost hear the gears slipping in my brain.


I think it’s because I no longer see an end point to staying in this career-path, and that the job provides nothing but a paycheck. I have a second job selling paint by phone, its far less lucrative and of significantly lower social status, but I can still at least concentrate and improve at it. I’m earning some extra money, and I also feel like I’m learning a valuable skill. I can still concentrate on the readings I do. I actually did some initial work on a potential fastlane project on the weekend. But Sunday was a slower day. And work is just unbearable at this point.


I spend all my time either at work, doing house-chores, or attending to my girlfriend. I can’t get anytime to myself, either for work or play. I love solitude and am now surrounded by people on all sides. But my life is such that I can’t change this, or if I did change it then the consequences would be catastrophic. So I just keep pushing forward and hoping that one day my brain will enjoy this shit like everyone else’s brain seems to. Besides, social stuff is supposed to make you happy right? My brain’s desire to live on its own surrounded by books and trees is probably not real, so I have to keep pushing forward into the quagmire that my life has become.


Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? Have any of you made the massive lifestyle change part of my thinks I need, and have come out happy or miserable? Have any of you stayed the course and come to regret it or love it?

You sounds just like me, and I'm sure like MANY others. I just don't care about the job anymore and it would take A LOT more money to make me care (which of course I won't get). Work + Overtime + Girlfriend + Familial Duties + Responsibilities usually leads to small amounts of free time, and you only want to use that precious free time to relax and unwind in solitude after so much social stimulation.

If you have a passion, or inkling, to do something other than what you do for work, then the feeling will NEVER go away. It will bug you the rest of your life, unless you squash (pun intended) that part of your soul. If you "stay the course" but hold on to that feeling that bothers you, you will regret it later. If you "stay the course" but let go and forget that part of you, you will learn to accept the grind. Your choice.

I'm still holding on to that part of the soul, so work sucks. However, I don't want to take the plunge, even though I know it would make me feel so free. If you can find a way to work on a side project that you enjoy doing that can be monetized, do that while working the 9 to 5. Then when you can't take it anymore and leave the job, you'll at least be somewhere other than square one on your side biz. Make sure your side project is something that gives you energy to work on, and does not consume energy (ie, require motivation). If you rely on motivation as a driving force, it will fail you as it is a limited resource. Discipline, however, is the ritual of habitual practice. It is the act of just doing, with no limited resource driving it. Discipline is more likely to get you to your goals than motivation, but discipline is easier to practice when it's for something you believe in and enjoy.

Just my two cents. I'm only 26 and am making $0 outside my job, so you can take my advice with a grain of salt.

 

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[Miketing]

I don't think anyone truly enjoys spending their whole life working for someone else and trading time for money. They just do it because that's what 'everyone' else does. People get stuck in the same thought patterns and the same habits and don't even realise it. They know some people get more out of life but they don't see it as a tangible goal, something they can actually reach.

You know what's out there now you're here though. You know there's more to life. You're on the right path, teaching yourself a skill that you can progress at and transfer to any other field you choose to. Just keep doing what you're doing, keep grinding and the results will come. Learn and progress, look for opportunities. You know what to do already.


Everyone's brain works differently, there's no need to compare yourself to others all the time. It sounds like you're more of an introvert and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Try to look at the benefits, you don't need to rely on other people to be happy. Go create your own happiness and enjoy being self-reliant.

 

[Andy Black]

Is this a rant? I don’t know. Probably. So it’s marked ‘rant’. If you don’t want to read a long string of complaining bullplop than you should probably read one of the threads that will actually help enhance your life. But I’m writing because maybe others have dealt with this stuff as well, and I could use some perspective.


I can’t concentrate on work anymore.


I’ve never been in love with job, but now it’s like working here is making me physically ill. It feels like being trapped under a couch, or that I am wearing a lead jacket that also affects my brain. Whenever I try to concentrate I can almost hear the gears slipping in my brain.


I think it’s because I no longer see an end point to staying in this career-path, and that the job provides nothing but a paycheck. I have a second job selling paint by phone, its far less lucrative and of significantly lower social status, but I can still at least concentrate and improve at it. I’m earning some extra money, and I also feel like I’m learning a valuable skill. I can still concentrate on the readings I do. I actually did some initial work on a potential fastlane project on the weekend. But Sunday was a slower day. And work is just unbearable at this point.


I spend all my time either at work, doing house-chores, or attending to my girlfriend. I can’t get anytime to myself, either for work or play. I love solitude and am now surrounded by people on all sides. But my life is such that I can’t change this, or if I did change it then the consequences would be catastrophic. So I just keep pushing forward and hoping that one day my brain will enjoy this shit like everyone else’s brain seems to. Besides, social stuff is supposed to make you happy right? My brain’s desire to live on its own surrounded by books and trees is probably not real, so I have to keep pushing forward into the quagmire that my life has become.


Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? Have any of you made the massive lifestyle change part of my thinks I need, and have come out happy or miserable? Have any of you stayed the course and come to regret it or love it?

There's nothing wrong with you.



As you get older you tune in to what you like and you care less about what other people think you should/need/ought to do. (I'm allergic to people who use those words now.)

One of the privileges of getting older is that you're allowed (expected?) to not care what others think of you.

Do things your way, not what you think *should* be your way.



Know yourself and play to your strengths. Double, quadruple, 10x down on your natural tendencies, and what comes easy to you.

What gives you energy?

What saps your energy?

I love talking to people, and I also love my own company.

I know one-on-one conversations energise me. I know speaking in front of a group of people energises me. I know group conversations sap my energy.

What tasks end up top of your list naturally?

What tasks do you put bottom of your lost naturally?

These are all clues.



As you say, it sounds like you need to make some space in your day for yourself.

You *can* find those moments.

It's not all about going flat-out from one engagement to another.

You can stop and watch what's going on around you - and be present in the moment.

Take pleasure in the little things that are already around you.

Be grateful for what you already have. Really look at all you have going for you, and appreciate it. Damn, but it's a hard trick to pull off!

When you see an old person sitting on a bench watching the world rush by, and you realise they've made time slow down for themselves, then you'll start to "get it".

I can find those moments in my day, and we've 3 young sons. Mind you, I don't watch TV...




Last year I came over all peaceful.

I attribute part of it to someone pulling me up when I started a sentence with "My problem is ..."

He told me no-one was shooting at me, I wasn't starving, and I was of sound body and mind. I didn't have any "problems".

I attribute another part of it to when I realised "I am enough". I don't *need* to do anything. I've nothing to prove to anyone, and I'll live my life my own way.

I also attribute it to a habit I got into last summer of going for a walk every evening... Just for 45 minutes along a canal.

I'd have a short window in the evening to get some "work" done, and I used half of it to go for a walk.

It helped me clear my head.

It helped me appreciate the now.

It helped me realise The ONE Thing I needed to do that evening to keep moving forward.

As @Get Right says, it's a marathon, not a sprint. You keep putting one foot in front of the other.



Enjoy the journey @Tapp001

 

[458]

Worst case scenario you can always move to Bangladesh and become a ship breaker for 3 pence an hour..

 

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[GuestUser450]

As you get older and the responsibilities mount, the ability to take risks is like a leash that shortens.

@Tapp001 Unfortunately, I can attest to this. Asking your partner to share your journey is not only a hard sell, it's rarely in their best interests. And it's hard enough to crack it on your own, but making it to the other side with spouse + kids in tow is beyond difficult. Take action - know yourself first.

 

[Tapp001]

Worst case scenario you can always move to Bangladesh and become a ship breaker for 3 pence an hour..

Ha! Point taken. I know things could be infinitely worse. As @Andy Black alludes, I'm not starving or being shot at so I don't have real problems.

But I've gotten a lot of positivity from you folks today. Though the problems may be slight, they do still cause some pain and being present in the forum helps a great deal. One step at a time, learn to know myself, and keep moving forward in the fastlane.

 

[SparksCW]

This is how I have been feeling the past year or ten! very unhappy at the day job, running my own business in the evenings which is doing well. My life has just been work/work on business/work on house/family. I have a young boy and an upcoming wedding. I no longer have hobbies or leisure time and it's been all round quite tough.

So I recently quit my job and will be going full time on my own business later this year once my notice is worked. I want to move out of the city, not far.. just a bit closer to places I can see myself actually going to. I have sold my expensive Range Rover and currently car less but planning to buy a very cheap, but much more fun car and hope to get out for some driving as that's what I enjoy, but haven't been out for a "drive" for years. One of my main monetary goals is a supercar as I really want to go out driving and to car events etc... the thing is, the supercar is still a while off, so I had put those leisure activities I want to do on hold until the day I get the supercar, what if I never get it either by choice or chance? Sometimes you have to create the lifestyle around what you can do, or you'll miss out. As Andy Black says, "you can find those moments".

I have commitments, a wife and kid, it does restrict you a bit but only if you let it. OK so you won't really be able to go travelling around the world, but I can easily go camping or on holidays, for as long as I want, as long as I have my laptop and a data connection and my staff back at the office then I can look after my business whilst building memories. In hindsight I would have lived my life differently, (i'm 31, so not exactly past it) but ultimately the choices I made have got me here today and I wouldn't change what I have right now.

As MJ DeMarco recommends, consider and visualise what you actually want and then work towards that. I have a Trello board with my "ideal life" and will be working towards that from now on rather than working on the dreams and wishes of my boss. To be honest my realistic dream life that I'm working towards isn't all that unachievable (once you take out all the supercars and toys I want haha!) and it was only since I had the balls to quit my job that I realised I'm about 60% of the way there already, and whilst quitting my job has taken the majority of my current income away, I still feel like I've taken a massive step forward towards the goal, not backwards. It's hard to explain.

If you take one thing away from this thread, and I speak from experience, either do it or don't do it, but if you don't do it then don't moan about it! I spent years wanting to leave work and change my life, I spent years saying I'd leave work, at one point I actually quit, but stayed..... it's just torture to yourself and boring for everyone you speak to year after year. Do it, or don't do it. But remember that life is short and you only get one shot.

This time I have "burnt my ships" so I have no choice but to leave at the end of August and start working on the life I actually want.

 

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[Get Right]

@Tapp001 - Have you made 1 step today?

 

[Tapp001]

@Tapp001 - Have you made 1 step today?

Another two hours of paid sales self-training after work. I really do think Im getting better at it. Its not so much about reciting a script as it is 'having a conversation with intent to sell'.

 

[Get Right]

@Tapp001 Have you made your step today?

If so, that's 3 steps closer to your goal now.

 

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