Mattie
Bronze Contributor
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Mine was prolonged grief and bereavement. I experienced a lot of Grief from divorce, three grand parents passing away, and losing other things in a year. Depression and Grief can blend into one another. Most of my life I've experience many losses and grief since I was a baby. So probably a mixture of both.
It's important to know the difference between Grief and Depression. Also whether it's a normal reaction to circumstances at the time, or continuous over a long period of time and is a disorder. Emotional attachments and letting go of the pain and suffering.
Depression was never a safe place. It was very painful and fortunately, the pain was great enough I had to move through it and change everything about my life. I do go to depression forums and talk to other people. I can say some of them may do it for attention. The thing I've learned is the psychology world promotes taking pills and talking about your feelings.
Depression was my excuse to fight hard and overcome it and choose life instead of death.
What helped me was dumping out every thought I had in my writing one time, and believing it was like emptying a garbage can and learning new ways of thinking at the same time. Lingering on more than that, you're reopening the wound over and over again. When we go to the hospital we don't reopen the wounds in our flesh. We mend the wound, give it time to heal, and medicate if needed.
Self-talk
Depression is a label given to me by someone else. The label is not who I am. The label is not my outcome or destiny. It is temporary. I can overcome depression and grief. Depression doesn't define me or what I am capable of doing.
Obstacles are removable and temporary. Instead of being overwhelmed by an imaginary mountain, one obstacle at a time.
One thought
One emotion
One feeling
One step at a time
One project at a time
One hour at a time
No matter how long it takes to get there.
Negative thoughts I don't have anymore. They rarely exist, if they do not more than a few minutes. At the time when Negative thoughts came my way I would turn them around.
I can't do this. I can do this.
I'm tired. I'm energetic.
I'm exhausted, I'm bubbly.
I don't want to do this. Do it anyway.
I hate the world. I love the world.
I am not good enough, I'm good enough. I'm going to reach my genius. I'm going to reach my greatness.
I want to give up, I can't quit. I can't give up. I have one shot. I one opportunity. Eminem.
I'm a failure. Failure isn't an option. There is no such thing as failure, only opportunity to grow, learn, and become my full potential.
I can't forgive. Yes, I can and do forgive others for all they say and do, because I know they are wounded themselves.
I blame you. I can't blame you, because I know this has gone on for centuries and generation after generation. I forgive all of you down the line.
I don't feel like doing all this work. I have to do all this work, I'm a path cutter, and I have the opportunity to stop it from spreading to my son and future generations and be the legacy my grandfather left behind.
I used to beat myself up because I'm a perfectionist.
Stop beating yourself up. Be loving, kind, nurturing, gentle with yourself.
Have compassion, empathy, and understanding, and love for yourself. When you can, you can do it for others.
Methods I used
Emotional Freedom Technique
NLP
Mental Toughness: Military & Sports Psychology
Visualization & Meditation
Writing
Music therapy with positive lyrics
Art therapy
Self-guided meditations on emotions, Anger, depression, fear, etc.
Read so many books I couldn't tell you. I know it has to be over a 1000 the last two years. Over the my life time I don't know. lol
listened to so many podcasts and videos on different branches of psychology, philosophy, science, neurology, brain training, spirituality, religion, military , sports psychology.
Besides all the entrepreneur, millionaire, billionaire, mindset stuff the last year.
There's so many steps along the way. Information doesn't help you unless you apply what you learn, discipline yourself every day, and master every emotion, thought, and feeling. At the beginning it's tough. Where I am today, the work has paid off. And I know I'll never be there again.
Suffering is a part of our world. It's something you have to accept. There's some things you can control and other things you can't control.
Serenity Prayer is always a reminder of that. Know what you can and can't change. Focus on what you can control.
Accept you can't change other people. You can't fix them, save them, or help them sometimes other than just be the messenger. It's their choice to help themselves, and do the inner work. No one could do it for me.
I don't think it can be taught, I really think you have to go through the experience. I share information, but everyone's experience is different.
Backstory
Traumatic Events
Perception
Beliefs
Thoughts
Players in life who give support and guidance
Education, and application
Self-discipline
Timing
Patience
Severity and type of Depression, or PTSD
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