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TheRegalMachine

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A teacher I admired said this to me as I was walking to class one day. I was confused by his comment and he explained that I looked like "a man on a mission". At the time I didn't realize I was on a mission and I was going about it all the wrong ways.
This moment took place in the halls of a "non-profit" Mc-degree mill Devry clone "school" about 12 years ago. Fresh out of high school I was naive and instead of going to a school with program of study I really wanted, I chickened out and tried to get to a dream via a back door. You see ever since I was a kid I loved cartoons, animation, and storytelling. I lived in a city and state with some good schools for studying those arts but I decided instead that I'd become a graphic artist/designer, get a job doing that, and chase my real dream while working. Like i said I was young and naive. The school I went to did not prepare me for anything close to the job for graphic design. In fact I would have learned more buying books and figuring it all out myself. But I was still indoctrinated into the mindset that a piece of paper was my way to success.

For over a decade it was a slow education in reality for me. I had to learn schooling doesn't get you anything but debt, a 9 to 5 doesn't do anything but chews you up and spit you out, the world doesn't play fair it brings gun, an axe handle, a folding chair, and some big friends to a knife fight every time.
I'm not good with math but if I were I'd reckon I've spent the majority of my 20s searching for jobs online, filling out applications, and sending in resumes. And I can count on my fingers the times I've been called back or interviewed. It lead to stints of depression where I didn't want to get up some days and some nights I'd roll over and pray to god to let me die in my sleep.

Now a sidewalker or slowlaner would blame the economy, job market, or think it's because they don't have the right degree. While those "can" be issues they weren't the definitive issue in my case. My issue was I let fear, doubt, and laziness control me time and time again. I've been a chicken-shit and naive. Boy have I been naive. Deep down I knew I had to make a change soon or face the consequences of inaction.

In 2012, I was faced with such a consequence, I went back to another "non-profit" school after being given the ultimatum of either go back to school or be homeless. I tried to make the best of the situation thrust upon me. I went through a phase of bettering myself in those months, found that I had a lot to learn about life, but also I had something to offer the world when I set my mind to it. After getting a diploma (thats right I added more debt to my name for an effing diploma) I went though another long stretches of unemployment, it's like me finding a job was like Rocky chasing a chicken, and when I did snag a job I felt like a slave. I'd worked my a$$ off only to be tossed aside once they got what they wanted from me. An easily replaced cog.

One recent job I had was at a company that makes airplane parts. It was horrible. My hands were numb from using hot torches, handling hot molds, touching strange chemicals. One night my fingers drew closed and wouldn't open. My sinuses burned and lungs wheezed because of the strange chemical smells permeating from the hot molds we made. I'd look at the regular employees and see them hobble to the break room sweating from the furnace like heat. They'd complain about the job and the managers then would try to justify staying. They sucked it up because they had no other choice as one of them said "Those stupid bills had to be paid somehow." I'd hobble behind them, back feeling like it's about to tear apart from bending and lifting. One night I sat in an empty break room by myself at midnight. I thought about how stupid it is for me to struggle sometimes beg to get a job just to break my back for peanuts. I didn't want to be like these other guys. Taking it because they have no other choice but to. Everyday I'm haunted by the thoughts of past dreams and wanting to achieve something that matters, something that isn't a quota, something that isn't making some other SOB rich. I wasn't making strides towards my own goals in life and I felt guilty because of it.

Since September of last year I have been on a mission to learn as much as I can to break free from the cycle of waiting for someone to give me a chance to toil away for money. I started with "Two Dads", I tired to see if the art in deal making could be of use. I had a stint of listening to a guy with the a library wine as well but kept feeling like I was being lead by someone more interested in being trendy.
After awhile I lost interest in guys who came from backgrounds that were already well adjusted.
I found a few Grant Cardone books to be extremely helpful. Then I found The Millionaire Fastlane . It was like mana from heaven. Insightful as f*** (can I say that here IDK).
For the first time in my life I feel like I have some weapons to take with me on my mission.
And it felt good that Grant Cardone and @MJ DeMarco are just like me. Guys from nothing, who struggled, yet, they made something of themselves. No two well off dads, no real estate mogul father to give them small loans, no dad with an established store they can inherit.

So right now I feel like I'm starting over again, my life is in a rough spot right now but I'm not going to give up. I'm going to stay determined, take some massive action, and go all in.
I hope I can learn a lot from the forum and not just reach my dream but go even further beyond them.

Thanks for reading.
 
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