Dec 24, 2023
Alright fast laners, I finally have an update for you.
I went from the fast lane to the SUPER fast lane.
I finally decided to hire someone on UpWork today for a specific part of my app that has stumped me. I don't think I can learn this skill in a reasonable amount of time (server management & API integration, it'll probably take 1-2 years to master) plus I would much rather work on the parts I enjoy (game design/balance, art, UI, economy and AI)
I woke up this morning to 18 offers! This part of the job was so "hard" for me I didn't imagine anyone would bite. I am so grateful that since I have experience in game development I gave a generous offer so I think that's why people grabbed at it.
So far, I "hired" 2 people, and sent an offer to each. I kind of want to hire a third just to be safe.
Alright fast laners, I finally have an update for you.
I went from the fast lane to the SUPER fast lane.
Project Update
I finally decided to hire someone on UpWork today for a specific part of my app that has stumped me. I don't think I can learn this skill in a reasonable amount of time (server management & API integration, it'll probably take 1-2 years to master) plus I would much rather work on the parts I enjoy (game design/balance, art, UI, economy and AI)
I woke up this morning to 18 offers! This part of the job was so "hard" for me I didn't imagine anyone would bite. I am so grateful that since I have experience in game development I gave a generous offer so I think that's why people grabbed at it.
So far, I "hired" 2 people, and sent an offer to each. I kind of want to hire a third just to be safe.
Personal
Personally, I recently got broken up with in a terrible relationship that I clung on to for far too long (~2 years), and I am getting plastic surgery at the moment (Dec 28, 2023) to recover my self esteem.
BUT! This is excellent, because I have learned so much about working with people (met so many wonderful people and friends!) and having faith since then, that if this hadn't have happened, I wouldn't have the guts to hire somebody using money and work with people. I figured, if I can spend $30k on a risky cosmetic surgery, what's a few thousand thrown at my dream app? It'll be for a mechanic that has stumped me for weeks. A seasoned developer can wrap it up in a single afternoon.
I have thought about this app every single day all year, and waffled between procrastination and conflict with the ex. It is time to go full steam ahead. I think this will make me happier than any relationship would. And maybe the conflict was because I really wanted to be working on this, but we had different values. Also, since I will become prettier, this can only help with gaining trust, boosting my confidence and marketing my app. Money that isn't used for useful investments will be wasted on things you regret**. (I used to waste so much money - and time - on that failing relationship in health / gifts / therapy / coping / not working)
https://www.youtube . com/watch?v=Mu-es6rGfOE&ab_channel=Nevillution
"The Game of Life and How To Play It" - by Florence Scovel Shinn
** where that quote came from
Her book really made me change my mindset and filled me with faith, I wanted to share with my ex who was very negative, and all he got from that was we need to break up immediately because I wasn't his soul mate because things were "too hard"...
And I feel particularly blessed. I used to feel scarcity, I used to feel guilty that I was "privileged" to have this money (from my crypto adventures) when I was with the ex, so I wouldn't touch my money. He had such hatred for wealth. But now it's time to believe in my dreams, and part of my low self esteem was from having such "a hard life."
I reframed my thinking to think, "I deserve this money because I earned it with my ingenuity" and "It is here because a higher power is helping me create my dreams, and many people want this to come to reality. I am responding to their calls."
I read two books so far, "Low Self Esteem Workbook" and "Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand" and even, "Getting the Love You Want," - which helped me interact with people more pleasantly - I concluded, that relationship failed because I wasn't confident enough, plus it also eroded my self esteem even more the longer I was in it. I'm grateful he broke up with me because I never would've done it. I don't like to give up. I'm grateful it failed, because it was a catalyst for growth. And as you can see, I've been developing an attitude of gratitude and positivity, and extreme kindness and tenderness to myself and others. It is the way. If you're going to achieve hard things, you need to be extra kind to yourself.
I have actually made a bounty of new friends in the mere 12 days since that relationship ended. It seems like all of the energy of the universe has opened up and poured its love into me.
Also it has been RAINING men. Everything I was lead to believe in that relationship was FALSE. I feel attractive, desireable, and successful. Men better than the ex in so many ways have been coming my way, offering commitment and dates and gifts and compliments. Smarter, wealthier, fitter, more funny, more confident men. I used to be loyal to him and have no eyes for others but just him, so no matter how poorly I was treated, I thought this was as good as it gets. That was false. As a woman you really are supposed to get the best man you can or you will suffer like I did.
I also learned, I love talking about my goals, and it only motivates me more. I started journaling every day so I won't bore you guys. I want to make a YouTube video about feminine motivation someday, because I've learned women have a bigger region for visual and verbal thinking, and greater "feelings" area. While rewards, consequences, logic, SMART goals, might be motivating to men, what seems to work for me is all that airy fairy voodoo "Manifest!" feel good stuff. I learned that stress increases testosterone and motivates men, while decreasing stress motivates women. If my brain has a higher proportion of neurons dedicated to feelings and words, why force myself to think like a man to succeed (if only 10% of my brain is masculine), when I can capitalize on my strengths? (using the full 100% of my brain))That relationship made me feel so masculine, having to do everything.)
Even while packing and studying for finals, I continued to create assets for my app using these visual, feel good techniques. I've never been so productive. I also finished reading SEVERAL books instead of grieving in the last 12 days. It seems like all my energy and words spent talking about him, have now been freed up to pursue my goals. Even my previous past time of trying to cope and wailing about the failing relationship, is now gone. All my thoughts are of progress and creation.
Anyway if any of you smart, fit, wealthy men want to hmu
I AM single hahaha
And of course, I am dedicating myself to creation and wealth management. A man is not a hobby! Make your own damn money. My future clients of my app are my real lovers and providers. I think I will dedicate the next 1 - 2 years to working on my business before dating seriously again.
I am looking forward to publishing this, and growing. And then I want to go to grad school. So I feel like my dating pool will only get better.
BUT! This is excellent, because I have learned so much about working with people (met so many wonderful people and friends!) and having faith since then, that if this hadn't have happened, I wouldn't have the guts to hire somebody using money and work with people. I figured, if I can spend $30k on a risky cosmetic surgery, what's a few thousand thrown at my dream app? It'll be for a mechanic that has stumped me for weeks. A seasoned developer can wrap it up in a single afternoon.
I have thought about this app every single day all year, and waffled between procrastination and conflict with the ex. It is time to go full steam ahead. I think this will make me happier than any relationship would. And maybe the conflict was because I really wanted to be working on this, but we had different values. Also, since I will become prettier, this can only help with gaining trust, boosting my confidence and marketing my app. Money that isn't used for useful investments will be wasted on things you regret**. (I used to waste so much money - and time - on that failing relationship in health / gifts / therapy / coping / not working)
https://www.youtube . com/watch?v=Mu-es6rGfOE&ab_channel=Nevillution
"The Game of Life and How To Play It" - by Florence Scovel Shinn
** where that quote came from
Her book really made me change my mindset and filled me with faith, I wanted to share with my ex who was very negative, and all he got from that was we need to break up immediately because I wasn't his soul mate because things were "too hard"...
And I feel particularly blessed. I used to feel scarcity, I used to feel guilty that I was "privileged" to have this money (from my crypto adventures) when I was with the ex, so I wouldn't touch my money. He had such hatred for wealth. But now it's time to believe in my dreams, and part of my low self esteem was from having such "a hard life."
I reframed my thinking to think, "I deserve this money because I earned it with my ingenuity" and "It is here because a higher power is helping me create my dreams, and many people want this to come to reality. I am responding to their calls."
I read two books so far, "Low Self Esteem Workbook" and "Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand" and even, "Getting the Love You Want," - which helped me interact with people more pleasantly - I concluded, that relationship failed because I wasn't confident enough, plus it also eroded my self esteem even more the longer I was in it. I'm grateful he broke up with me because I never would've done it. I don't like to give up. I'm grateful it failed, because it was a catalyst for growth. And as you can see, I've been developing an attitude of gratitude and positivity, and extreme kindness and tenderness to myself and others. It is the way. If you're going to achieve hard things, you need to be extra kind to yourself.
I have actually made a bounty of new friends in the mere 12 days since that relationship ended. It seems like all of the energy of the universe has opened up and poured its love into me.
Also it has been RAINING men. Everything I was lead to believe in that relationship was FALSE. I feel attractive, desireable, and successful. Men better than the ex in so many ways have been coming my way, offering commitment and dates and gifts and compliments. Smarter, wealthier, fitter, more funny, more confident men. I used to be loyal to him and have no eyes for others but just him, so no matter how poorly I was treated, I thought this was as good as it gets. That was false. As a woman you really are supposed to get the best man you can or you will suffer like I did.
I also learned, I love talking about my goals, and it only motivates me more. I started journaling every day so I won't bore you guys. I want to make a YouTube video about feminine motivation someday, because I've learned women have a bigger region for visual and verbal thinking, and greater "feelings" area. While rewards, consequences, logic, SMART goals, might be motivating to men, what seems to work for me is all that airy fairy voodoo "Manifest!" feel good stuff. I learned that stress increases testosterone and motivates men, while decreasing stress motivates women. If my brain has a higher proportion of neurons dedicated to feelings and words, why force myself to think like a man to succeed (if only 10% of my brain is masculine), when I can capitalize on my strengths? (using the full 100% of my brain))That relationship made me feel so masculine, having to do everything.)
Even while packing and studying for finals, I continued to create assets for my app using these visual, feel good techniques. I've never been so productive. I also finished reading SEVERAL books instead of grieving in the last 12 days. It seems like all my energy and words spent talking about him, have now been freed up to pursue my goals. Even my previous past time of trying to cope and wailing about the failing relationship, is now gone. All my thoughts are of progress and creation.
Anyway if any of you smart, fit, wealthy men want to hmu
I AM single hahahaAnd of course, I am dedicating myself to creation and wealth management. A man is not a hobby! Make your own damn money. My future clients of my app are my real lovers and providers. I think I will dedicate the next 1 - 2 years to working on my business before dating seriously again.
I am looking forward to publishing this, and growing. And then I want to go to grad school. So I feel like my dating pool will only get better.
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