Quarter life crisis and a broken sat nav

[bmalc]

Hello all

I'm Brad - a 28 year old man living in the UK with big and silly dreams of making it big, and the attention span of a squirrel in Autumn (or 'Fall' for any 'Muricans reading this).

A word of warning before you read this - I will ramble on and on... For those brave enough to waste the next X minutes of their lives reading my half-journal entry/half-boring autobiography; this is the story of what brings me to this forum...

I grew up in a household which is typical for probably most of the world's population in some way or another. My parents split when I was 9 - my father (a drunk, and eventually an abuser) left the house and we struggled financially for some time. My aunt had to move into the house with us to help pay the bills, and the language around money during my upbringing often contained phrases such as 'we can't afford that', 'that's too much money', and 'do you know how much that COSTS??!' - the latter often being in response to my having broken something, or using up the last of something else.

Fast forward, we'd moved to an affordable neighbourhood in a comparatively middle class area, and as a result many of my friends growing up 'had' where I 'had not'. Holidays, presents, allowances, takeaways on the weekends, nice clothes etc.
Dont get me wrong, I didn't grow up 'poor' - just 'broke' (as Dave Chappelle put it). I still had presents at Christmas (some of which were a computer, a bike, a PS3 etc.), and when my stepfather (a relatively well off - but still working class - self employed roofer) came on the scene, eventually we went on the occasional holiday too.

One amazing part of my upbringing which I credit my dear mother greatly for - I had a solid work ethic instilled in me from a very young age. I didn't just get given things, I had to work for them. I had to do chores daily before I was allowed to play outside, often enlisting the help of my friends to get it done quicker so we could get out and get into trouble. When I was bad in school or at home (a very frequent occurrence) I was punished, and had to do even more chores. I remember one time I broke a car window which my mother had to pay a few hundred pounds to fix, and I worked it off over months. I can still remember her despair over the bill, as she never had that sort of money on hand, and I still remember the guilt I felt for causing it.

I got my first job at 16 washing dishes for a restaurant kitchen. I worked there two years, and grew to despise it. I knew I didn't want to do any sort of menial job ever again. I'm glad I worked there, as it taught me so much about the 'hard graft' - both the positive character building aspects, and the negative soul crushing ones.

I struggled through my teenage years with self esteem issues, drug addiction and a general apathetic life approach. I had no direction at all, despite my intelligence and talent in many areas of school. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

At 18, after dropping out of college just before I would have failed my A Levels (I spent most of those 2 years skipping class and getting high), I got an apprenticeship in IT by basically picking a job out of a hat. I had an interest in computers and I figured it would do for now.

I ended up working there for 9 years. My boss, an absolute gem, taught me so much - not just about IT, but about being a man - and a good one at that. He taught me how a business worked, how to sell, how to give great customer service, how to resolve problems, and through osmosis, how to be a great manager and leader. By the time I was around 25, I was basically running the place with him, and was a shoe in to take over his role as the Managing Director in a few years when he decided to take a step down.

However - as often these things do - it all began to fall apart, little by little. I became disaffected, and dissatisfied with the direction the business was was going. I lost the love for IT, and complaining customers went from a slight inconvenience that I was eager to remedy, to a daily occurrence I was just outright sick off. I could feel anger bubbling up far too often in my interactions with customers and colleagues alike. I could see the trees growing back, blocking the woods I'd once seen so clearly.

I knew I had to leave. I was leaving a cushy role with almost complete freedom, a 4 day working week (something I negotiated for the whole company that they still do to this day, nearly a year after my leaving), and a £50k salary with 10% profit-sharing. I was leaving a great boss who valued me and stood by me through pretty much everything. I was leaving nearly a decade of great relationships with customers and colleagues. I was leaving a safe, secure income on the precipice of a global economic meltdown.

On the face of things (as many of my friends and family were telling me at the time) - I was making a stupid mistake. I had no plan, no side hustle ready to be dived into full time, and no real direction of what I was going to do next. The world was my oyster, but I was a blind fisherman allergic to shellfish. As crazy as I seemed, I had some savings to fall back onto to keep my bills paid (rent is cheap when you live with your parents!), and in my view - I wasn't giving up all these wonderful things, I was leaving a place I wasn't happy. I'd learnt a lot about business, and really fancied myself an entrepreneur based on how great I was doing in my job. I could see where (I thought) my boss was making poor decisions, or missing great opportunities, or not being risky enough to facilitate real growth. I knew if I had total control, I'd run the place so much better and we'd be making so much more money.

Fast forward to nearly a year later since quitting, I have done nothing. I've read countless self-help and business books, watched hundreds of hours of business guru videos and podcasts, and have fantasised over every new shiny idea that's came my way, whilst committing to absolutely none of them. I've started (using this term very loosely) and subsequently given up on perhaps two dozen (or more) 'business ideas', including: dropshipping, selling AI generated digital art, excel spreadsheets or daily planners on Etsy, no-code app development, being a YouTuber, being an author, digital marketing, b2b process automation, newsletters, proffesional Tweeting, selling fitness courses, and plenty more pointless ventures that have done nothing for improving my income, and everything for destroying my sense of self worth.

Most of these ideas came from (you guessed it) YouTube videos and other places online where they talk about whatever bullshit, flavour of the week business model is hot right now. I started most of these with excitement, wonder, and the feeling of infinite potential. Every new idea was 'the one' and it was going to make me rich. I told everyone I knew about every idea, about how it was perfect and I'd be making money hand over fist any day now. Pretty soon after starting, I'd convince myself it was never going to work, or it would be too much hassle, too competitive, or I was too inexperienced to do it - or I would feel like it's just another scammy bullshit YouTube Guru click bait idea, and that I was a fool for even believing in it. Most of the time though, the ideas just didn't sit right with me... My friends and family grew tired of hearing the same thing every week from me, and most of them began to laugh off anything I was telling them, or just humouring me, waiting for the inevitable change of plan to come around the following week. It began really grating on me that I wasn't able to pick something, stick with it and do it quietly.

I've dipped in and out of depression for most of my life, and Jan-August 2023 was probably the longest I've gone without feeling incredibly low, which I attribute purely to my freedom from having to get up and work for someone else. It came back around 3-4 months ago though, as it always does. I'd now entirely lost my sense of purpose. With nothing to wake up for in the morning, my sleeping pattern had become nocturnal, with 5-7AM bedtimes and late afternoon awakenings. I began habitually drinking alcohol - something I've struggled with on and off for years but developed a real problem with this year (going through a 70cl bottle of spirits every couple of days). I stopped working out, and practically never left my bed (although I've more or less always spent far too long in bed every day).

Some time in mid-September, I got my motivation back. I started dieting again, lifting weights 4x week and getting out of bed to move around more. I decided I was going to really try the YouTube thing, and was working every day on scripts and video ideas, doing research and creating a Notion template to manage my projects. I felt that buzz of productivity again for the first time in a long time. Then it happened.

I got a call that my Dad was in the hospital, and it wasn't looking good. My father and I had a strained relationship over the years, as he was absent for much of my life, only seeing my sister and I maybe once a year for the past decade or so. We got on okay, but I harboured a lot of resentment for how little he was in my life and the fact we didn't really know each other. His alcoholism had ruined his life entirely. He lost his family, he could never hold a job and eventually gave up entirely, relying on the government to house and feed him through benefits, and he'd managed to push away everyone in his family due to some nefarious pilfering of his dementia-ridden mother's life savings (around £20k by the end). Not only that, but it of course destroyed his health, and after sitting with him for a few days in the hospital, watching him lie there, hooked up to life support machines (either completely unconscious or just barely aware of his surroundings), his body eventually gave out to the years of abuse and he died less than a month before his 57th birthday.

This plunged me into the worst depression I'd ever been through. My life became a groundhog day of drinking myself stupid, lying in bed crying, or watching movies and playing video games to take my mind off things. Only now (around 2 months later) am I beginning to feel normal again. I took a short holiday to escape for a week, and have come back with renewed motivation, but unfortunately the same lack of direction that will inevitably result in depression when I've wasted a few more months of my precious freedom on pointless and half-assed business endeavours.

This time I want to do it differently.

I read TMF a few months ago and by chance stumbled on this forum today after reading a post on here about Alex Hormozi. I figured I would join and see if I can hopefully find some resources to help me discover what I want to be when I grow up.

My biggest problems are of course:

1) Direction
2) Commitment
3) Deferred Gratification

These problems are also roughly in order of how they are listed - and I'm hoping that in the coming days I can at least figure out what the hell I'm going to do, and what type of business I'm going to start.

If anyone managed to actually read all of this, and knows of any good resources to help me figure this eternal question out at least to get me on the right track for NOW, that would be great. I know this whole question of 'purpose' is ongoing and ever changing - but I need to think of an idea for a business to start right now, and so far my brain isn't allowing me to settle on anything. I'm wondering if I'm just not equipped with the right tools, or if I'm not asking myself the right questions...

Anyway, thanks for reading, if you have...

TLDR:
I'm Brad, im a wantrepreneur, and I don't have a f*cking clue what business I want to start.

 

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[Aidan04]

I don't have time to dissect this entirely, but if you have all that experience in IT and sales and such, figure out how to leverage that.

Maybe build your own IT company or services or products that could help people in that field. Figure out how you can provide value with the skills you already have.

F*ck the whole Youtube thing, that provides absolutely no value. If you're confused, read Unscripted .

"Self improvement is masturbation."

Figure out how you can provide value, keep hitting the gym and get some cardio, throw away all the junk food, get outside, get your head right, and lock the F*ck in.

No cold showers, gratitude journal, or guru finfluencers needed.

Get to work.

 

[bmalc]

I don't have time to dissect this entirely, but if you have all that experience in IT and sales and such, figure out how to leverage that.

Maybe build your own IT company or services or products that could help people in that field. Figure out how you can provide value with the skills you already have.

F*ck the whole Youtube thing, that provides absolutely no value. If you're confused, read Unscripted .

"Self improvement is masturbation."

Figure out how you can provide value, keep hitting the gym and get some cardio, throw away all the junk food, get outside, get your head right, and lock the F*ck in.

No cold showers, gratitude journal, or guru finfluencers needed.

Get to work.

Thanks for the reply!

So the reason for steering away from the IT side of things is that I just want to do something totally different. I'm sick of the world of IT as a whole and am eager to dive into something that's completely new for me.

Agreed on the rest of your points though! Haven't read unscripted but will certainly check it out

Thanks

 

[Runum]

I just want to do something totally different. I'm sick of
the world of IT as a whole and am eager to dive into something that's completely new for me.

Agreed on the rest of your points though! Haven't read unscripted but will certainly check it out

Welcome. You do understand that the market and your customers do not care what you want or what you are sick of, don't you?

 

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[bmalc]

Welcome. You do understand that the market and your customers do not care what you want or what you are sick of, don't you?

What a strangely hostile and condescending reply to a reasonable statement

Dude if I'm choosing a path/business to start in my life, I'm going to want to have at least some interest in it. Done IT for nearly a decade, so I've been there, done that and got the T shirt - time for something new. ‍

 

[maverick]

Follow your passions, young padawan

 

[Runum]

What a strangely hostile and condescending reply to a reasonable statement

Dude if I'm choosing a path/business to start in my life, I'm going to want to have at least some interest in it. Done IT for nearly a decade, so I've been there, done that and got the T shirt - time for something new. ‍

You are welcome. I am sure you will do well at listening to your customers as well as you take advice. Good luck.

Not hostile, just cold hard facts.

 

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[bmalc]

You are welcome. I am sure you will do well at listening to your customers as well as you take advice. Good luck.

Not hostile, just cold hard facts.

Please highlight the 'advice' you gave me in your previous comment?

 

[Runum]

Please highlight the 'advice' you gave me in your previous comment?

I never said I gave you advice.

@Aidan04 did "if you have all that experience in IT and sales and such, figure out how to leverage that." but you chose to shoot that down immediately; you asked, but you want to cherry pick what you want to hear. We all do crap that we don't want to do to make profits and sales. Your customers do not care what you like or don't like.

 

[bmalc]

I never said I gave you advice.

@Aidan04 did "if you have all that experience in IT and sales and such, figure out how to leverage that." but you chose to shoot that down immediately; you asked, but you want to cherry pick what you want to hear. We all do crap that we don't want to do to make profits and sales. Your customers do not care what you like or don't like.

I didn't 'shoot it down' I simply responded, explaining why I'm not interested in continuing to work in IT? I've obviously considered it in the past, being that I worked for almost a decade in the industry, but decided against it in favour of pursuing something completely new and fresh - pretty much what I said in my response to Aidan:

So the reason for steering away from the IT side of things is that I just want to do something totally different. I'm sick of the world of IT as a whole and am eager to dive into something that's completely new for me

Anything in there stand out as 'shooting down Aidan's advice'? Reads to me like a conversational response...

you want to cherry pick what you want to hear

Nope - just responding to a comment explaining my point of view. Bold of you to assume my motivations. Although more to the point- this comment implies that you believe all advice should be taken by default and withoit question, instead of filtering it for it's relevance/value. If that's how you live your life, I advise you to invest in Blockbuster stock.

Aidan kindly responded to my post, suggesting something that may have been useful for me - I explained why it wasn't, and thanked him. He also suggested I check out the book Unscripted , and I've started reading that on Scribd already - so I did take some of his advice onboard. Pretty normal and friendly conversation here, but it does strike me that you probably don't have many of those...

We all do crap that we don't want to do to make profits and sales. Your customers do not care what you like or don't like

Yes, and a chef who doesn't personally enjoy lamb, still cooks lamb, because that's what his patrons want. He of course chose a career in cooking in the first place because he likes it. Your comment here applies to a functioning business with customers, not to the actual process of deciding which business to start in the first place... Not sure about you, but most people would like to have an interest in the field they work in.

Gotta say - as a new person in this forum, your condescending tone, and flippant, unnecessary comments are incredibly off putting. Feel like I'm on Reddit. Hopefully most people here are reasonable and friendly! The others who have commented on this thread appear to be anyway so you must be an outlier...

 

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[ZF Lee]

Hi @bmalc, really appreciate you sharing your story.

I come from a split family myself, and seen not a few relatives pass away from bad health and life choices...these things just make one never the same again.

But good to have you coming back to the game- as long you got breath in your lungs, you CAN get things done and overcome a good many things.

So the reason for steering away from the IT side of things is that I just want to do something totally different. I'm sick of the world of IT as a whole and am eager to dive into something that's completely new for me.

However - as often these things do - it all began to fall apart, little by little. I became disaffected, and dissatisfied with the direction the business was was going. I lost the love for IT, and complaining customers went from a slight inconvenience that I was eager to remedy, to a daily occurrence I was just outright sick off.

Welcome. You do understand that the market and your customers do not care what you want or what you are sick of, don't you?

I think Runum was referring to this...so it seems that isn't IT itself that is the problem.

You just need a new approach for dealing with lack of control over business direction...and complaining customers.
These are issues that will turn up in any industry.

Let's look back awhile...what stuff did you disagree with the old business' direction?
What kind of customer complaints that you felt were too burdensome for you to handle?

 

[srodrigo]

I don't have a f*cking clue what business I want to start.

Please note that I'm by no means "successful" as per this forum's standards (a.k.a. I still trade my time for money heavily), so I might not be the best person to give advice. Yet, I'm going to do it, and hopefully save you a few years of not achieving what you want and also feel unfulfilled.

Whatever you choose, make sure it is something important to you. I'm not saying follow your passion. Actually, be careful with this because passions come and go, and can lead to businesses that are doomed since before they start. But working on something you don't even have interest in is very tricky. Depending on your current situation (sorry, I just skimmed your OP), the drive can come from either a pain point (i.e. my boss makes my life miserable, therefore I want to build a business so I can tell him/her to f**k off), or from a desire to create something that means a lot to you (i.e. I can't stand animals being farmed and killed, so I'm going to build a vegan food business that reduces the amount of victims). If you make a lot of money from a job, the former will not work, and you need to rely on something that is important to you. At least, that's my conclusion after chasing What makes money [TM] multiplied by a couple times.

What's something important that you want to accomplish and also fulfills a need? If you fail, at least you learnt and got experience about something that made you grow, not about the latest drop shipping trends you don't even care about. Spending 5+ years on a business you don't care about has all the chances of you not putting the extra mile and also feeling like you wasted all those years for nothing. It doesn't have to come from a passion, but from something stronger (purpose). Try to find alignment on what can make money but also aligns with your values. Is there anything you really want to contribute with and can be a viable business?

Best of luck.

 

[John Clancy]

Gotta say - as a new person in this forum, your condescending tone, and flippant, unnecessary comments are incredibly off putting. Feel like I'm on Reddit. Hopefully most people here are reasonable and friendly! The others who have commented on this thread appear to be anyway so you must be an outlier...

The one-line opener @Runum posted is a reference to a key Fastlane principle (i.e. that it's more important to be passionate about your business' ability to deliver value than what your business does).

I'm not a mind-reader, so can't say for sure what spirit the message was intended in. But I think it was a reminder of this fact, not a personal critique of you.

As a blanket rule, it's better to assume positive intent in these situations.

Worst-case scenario? You fail to pick up on someone's hostile tone and aren't drawn into an argument.

Best-case?

You open yourself up to possibilities that would have been closed off otherwise.

@Runum is a guy behind a screen. Like you, like me. He's got his own story to tell. Maybe it's one you could learn from.

Likewise: maybe there are people reading this thread right now that have the insight you're looking for. And IMO, they're more likely to join the conversation if they think it'll be worth their time to do so: not just an avenue to argument.

Not a lecture - just some perspective.

--

You say you want to leave the world of IT behind and do something completely different. Fair enough.

Do you think there are any industries, working environments, or contexts you'd like to work in that would let you leverage some of the skills you've built up over your 10 years in the space?

E.g. a guy who spends 10 years selling high-end agricultural vehicles to every dealer within 300 miles may not look like a software salesman on paper. But the skills of building rapport, handling objections, dealing with B2B clientele focused on the bottom line: the instruments remain the same, even when the genre changes.

Likewise --> that same individual could build on their industry knowledge to launch a different, non-sales venture in the agriculture space - or a related one.

Bottom line: how could you build on your experience? And how could you do it in a way that would satisfy your desire for a change in circumstances without needing you to trudge through sludge for the next 20 years?

 

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[bmalc]

Hi @bmalc, really appreciate you sharing your story.

I come from a split family myself, and seen not a few relatives pass away from bad health and life choices...these things just make one never the same again.

But good to have you coming back to the game- as long you got breath in your lungs, you CAN get things done and overcome a good many things.



I think Runum was referring to this...so it seems that isn't IT itself that is the problem.

You just need a new approach for dealing with lack of control over business direction...and complaining customers.
These are issues that will turn up in any industry.

Let's look back awhile...what stuff did you disagree with the old business' direction?
What kind of customer complaints that you felt were too burdensome for you to handle?

Thanks for sharing

I think Runum was referring to this...so it seems that isn't IT itself that is the problem.
You just need a new approach for dealing with lack of control over business direction...and complaining customers.
These are issues that will turn up in any industry

Where I've mentioned being annoyed at the lack of control and being sick of customers etc. these were just some manifestations of a general apathy towards IT as an industry and towards my old company, rather than the sole reasons I was sick of it. The control problem could be solved with running my own business, sure, and of course I'd deal with annoying customers in any industry, you bet - but in general IT just isn't for me any more.

I've tired of all of the monotonous IT support tasks, all the projects like office network setups, server installations and email migrations, tired of the jargon and the products, the cliche types of customers who don't want to invest in their IT after years of convincing and then suddenly are annoyed at the IT provider when something goes wrong.

There's a million more things I can list but rather than waste your time, the bottom line is that I'm generally just really fed up of the industry, and I know that if I were to start my own IT company I would have to dive back into the support side of things myself again as I wouldn't have staff below me to do it. I managed to escape the support work years ago when getting into the management and sales side of things, so going back to it would genuinely be a nightmare...

Let's look back awhile...what stuff did you disagree with the old business' direction?

So we disagreed on priorities and services – e.g., he was undercharging for managed support plans, unprofitable pricing due to boss's decisions. He couldn't let go of unproductive customers, we lacked effective marketing (relied on word of mouth) and he wouldnt invest in it, he hired underqualified individuals just to 'get them in the door'. He was rarely present, and made minimal contribution when he was, still maintaining final say despite never being there to see why we needed to make certain decisilns. He maintained poor relationships with another IT company that outsourced to us, despite constant complaints from all of us that he was overworking us and underpaying on most jobs he used us for (he told me not 6 months after I left that he ended up axing this guy finally though at least). He wasted a lot of his own time and mine checking through invoices before they were sent out, despite the fact he didn't need to do that because I set up our billing software as such (not to mention he'd hired an under qualified, lazy, overwhelmed receptionist who he'd planned to take over this for him, and she couldn't handle even basic tasks so he just kept doing it instead of being a strong leader and making her aware/getting her to change). He made a lot of mistakes that cost us dearly, such as writing a contract that overpromised to one of our biggest customers that they were receive 'immediate support' whenever anything was an emergency (a big no no in IT - support response times have to be clearly defined with timescales and priorities, and cant just have words like 'immediate' in there to be interpreted). They hired a new manager a few years later who read through our agreement and decided to enforce the immediate support whenever she saw fit simply by calling every issue an emergency. We ended up having to go over her head and get a new contract signed, which was embarrassing to say the least. Boss refused to get a lawer to help us draft contracts at a certain point too as it 'would cost too much' failing to see how serious some of the wording on these contracts were and needed to be written correctly otherwise they could be illegal or open to interpretation. I could go on.. it sounds like I'm moaning an awful lot about the guy but he's honestly one of the nicest people I've ever known and we're still good friends - going out with him on Tuesday for a drink as we often do every few weeks/months!

What kind of customer complaints that you felt were too burdensome for you to handle?

Really this was more manifestation of being fed up where I was, rather than specific customer complaints- I was just getting sick of certain customers and was losing the ability to keep cool and calm, which was partly what tipped me off to their being a problem. I had impeccable customer service for nearly a decade before this started to happen and it really was just another sign that I needed to get out of there. Our company was getting more and more complaints in general, partly due to being understaffed - which was a combination of hiring the wrong people and being in a hiring/firing loop instead of hiring the right people in the first place, and because we were still holding on to dead weight customers and partners taking up all our time, as mentioned. Understaffing and overworking meant poorer service. After many many attempts at resolving this it was just the final nail in the coffin for me, I felt I needed to jump off a sinking ship.

Ironically, most the things my boss disagreed with me about he's since implemented and has found them to have helped. We laugh about it now that he should have listened to me haha

So yeah I'm well aware that disagreements and annoying customers will follow me anywhere, I was just fed up of working at that place and generally want to try something totally new instead of getting back into IT

 

[bmalc]

The one-line opener @Runum posted is a reference to a key Fastlane principle (i.e. that it's more important to be passionate about your business' ability to deliver value than what your business does).

I'm not a mind-reader, so can't say for sure what spirit the message was intended in. But I think it was a reminder of this fact, not a personal critique of you.

As a blanket rule, it's better to assume positive intent in these situations.

Worst-case scenario? You fail to pick up on someone's hostile tone and aren't drawn into an argument.

Best-case?

You open yourself up to possibilities that would have been closed off otherwise.

@Runum is a guy behind a screen. Like you, like me. He's got his own story to tell. Maybe it's one you could learn from.

Likewise: maybe there are people reading this thread right now that have the insight you're looking for. And IMO, they're more likely to join the conversation if they think it'll be worth their time to do so: not just an avenue to argument.

Not a lecture - just some perspective.

--

You say you want to leave the world of IT behind and do something completely different. Fair enough.

Do you think there are any industries, working environments, or contexts you'd like to work in that would let you leverage some of the skills you've built up over your 10 years in the space?

E.g. a guy who spends 10 years selling high-end agricultural vehicles to every dealer within 300 miles may not look like a software salesman on paper. But the skills of building rapport, handling objections, dealing with B2B clientele focused on the bottom line: the instruments remain the same, even when the genre changes.

Likewise --> that same individual could build on their industry knowledge to launch a different, non-sales venture in the agriculture space - or a related one.

Bottom line: how could you build on your experience? And how could you do it in a way that would satisfy your desire for a change in circumstances without needing you to trudge through sludge for the next 20 years?

Yeah I see your point but I definitely read condescension there.. the flippant rhetorical question, subsequent sarcasm and presumptive comment about my 'cherry picking what I want to hear'. Hard to read anything other than negative tone here, but I see your point that perhaps it was simply a reference to a Fastlane principle etc. and perhaps I've read some hostility there that wasn't intended, in which case @Runum, I apologise!

Anyway- aside from all that...

Yeah ideally I'd like to find something that excites me but that I can apply preexisting skills to of course - many of the skills I've built over my career are for sure transferable to a bunch of different industries. Constantly dealing with customers, b2b sales and support, communicating complicated issues in layman's terms, managing projects, business strategy, negotiation, structuring packages, problem solving etc. - there's a whole load of things I've learned that apply to many businesses.

I think my struggle here at the moment is needing to find something that 'clicks' you know? My head is all over the place after this last year and my father's passing, and I definitely have an overwhelming sense of hopelessness.. perhaps I've built up this idea in my head that I will just 'find something' I want to do that's pefect for me - maybe I'm being delusional and just need to settle on something I can do well over something that I'll enjoy..

 

[bmalc]

Please note that I'm by no means "successful" as per this forum's standards (a.k.a. I still trade my time for money heavily), so I might not be the best person to give advice. Yet, I'm going to do it, and hopefully save you a few years of not achieving what you want and also feel unfulfilled.

Whatever you choose, make sure it is something important to you. I'm not saying follow your passion. Actually, be careful with this because passions come and go, and can lead to businesses that are doomed since before they start. But working on something you don't even have interest in is very tricky. Depending on your current situation (sorry, I just skimmed your OP), the drive can come from either a pain point (i.e. my boss makes my life miserable, therefore I want to build a business so I can tell him/her to f**k off), or from a desire to create something that means a lot to you (i.e. I can't stand animals being farmed and killed, so I'm going to build a vegan food business that reduces the amount of victims). If you make a lot of money from a job, the former will not work, and you need to rely on something that is important to you. At least, that's my conclusion after chasing What makes money [TM] multiplied by a couple times.

What's something important that you want to accomplish and also fulfills a need? If you fail, at least you learnt and got experience about something that made you grow, not about the latest drop shipping trends you don't even care about. Spending 5+ years on a business you don't care about has all the chances of you not putting the extra mile and also feeling like you wasted all those years for nothing. It doesn't have to come from a passion, but from something stronger (purpose). Try to find alignment on what can make money but also aligns with your values. Is there anything you really want to contribute with and can be a viable business?

Best of luck.

Hello!
Yes I guess in a roundabout way that's sort of what I'm getting at - I want to do something that aligns with my values or interests rather than just 'anything'. Just picking something I don't care about is part of the problem that got me here, as you rightly pointed out RE the dropshipping..

I'll certainly spend some time trying to dig deep and come up with some issues that are close to my heart and values, and see where I might find a problem to be solved there...

Thank you for your advice!

 

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[Spenny]

I've tired of all of the monotonous IT support tasks, all the projects like office network setups, server installations and email migrations, tired of the jargon and the products, the cliche types of customers who don't want to invest in their IT after years of convincing and then suddenly are annoyed at the IT provider when something goes wrong.

So we disagreed on priorities and services – e.g., he was undercharging for managed support plans, unprofitable pricing due to boss's decisions. He couldn't let go of unproductive customers, we lacked effective marketing (relied on word of mouth) and he wouldnt invest in it, he hired underqualified individuals just to 'get them in the door'. He was rarely present, and made minimal contribution when he was, still maintaining final say despite never being there to see why we needed to make certain decisilns. He maintained poor relationships with another IT company that outsourced to us, despite constant complaints from all of us that he was overworking us and underpaying on most jobs he used us for (he told me not 6 months after I left that he ended up axing this guy finally though at least). He wasted a lot of his own time and mine checking through invoices before they were sent out, despite the fact he didn't need to do that because I set up our billing software as such (not to mention he'd hired an under qualified, lazy, overwhelmed receptionist who he'd planned to take over this for him, and she couldn't handle even basic tasks so he just kept doing it instead of being a strong leader and making her aware/getting her to change). He made a lot of mistakes that cost us dearly, such as writing a contract that overpromised to one of our biggest customers that they were receive 'immediate support' whenever anything was an emergency (a big no no in IT - support response times have to be clearly defined with timescales and priorities, and cant just have words like 'immediate' in there to be interpreted). They hired a new manager a few years later who read through our agreement and decided to enforce the immediate support whenever she saw fit simply by calling every issue an emergency. We ended up having to go over her head and get a new contract signed, which was embarrassing to say the least. Boss refused to get a lawer to help us draft contracts at a certain point too as it 'would cost too much' failing to see how serious some of the wording on these contracts were and needed to be written correctly otherwise they could be illegal or open to interpretation. I could go on.. it sounds like I'm moaning an awful lot about the guy but he's honestly one of the nicest people I've ever known and we're still good friends - going out with him on Tuesday for a drink as we often do every few weeks/months!

Really this was more manifestation of being fed up where I was, rather than specific customer complaints- I was just getting sick of certain customers and was losing the ability to keep cool and calm, which was partly what tipped me off to their being a problem. I had impeccable customer service for nearly a decade before this started to happen and it really was just another sign that I needed to get out of there. Our company was getting more and more complaints in general, partly due to being understaffed - which was a combination of hiring the wrong people and being in a hiring/firing loop instead of hiring the right people in the first place, and because we were still holding on to dead weight customers and partners taking up all our time, as mentioned. Understaffing and overworking meant poorer service. After many many attempts at resolving this it was just the final nail in the coffin for me, I felt I needed to jump off a sinking ship.

Holy moly this is a lot of problems to solve.
You've lined out so many problems here, it's screaming for a solution - and I assume you could find a solution.

@marchioness had a similar situation of being annoyed at the accounting industry, but she's going about providing solutions to that. Annoyance is ripe opportunity here. The customers whining is an opportunity. The boss blundering is an opportunity. The solutions missing is an opportunity.

Hard to read anything other than a negative tone here, but I see your point that perhaps it was simply a reference to a Fastlane principle, etc. and maybe I've read some hostility there that wasn't intended, in which case @Runum, I apologise!

Tough love? Maybe so, but a negative tone? I'm afraid I have to disagree. @Runum is correct; some customers demand you to split oceans like Moses, but we must try as best as possible.

My experience is people here are usually straight up with critique; they will tell you what they're thinking, and that's a good thing - coming out the gates swinging at people who are mostly trying to help doesn't tend to bode well. We're trying to help.

Edit: See this thread. It's a similar situation to yours.

 

[bmalc]

Holy moly this is a lot of problems to solve.
You've lined out so many problems here, it's screaming for a solution - and I assume you could find a solution.

@marchioness had a similar situation of being annoyed at the accounting industry, but she's going about providing solutions to that. Annoyance is ripe opportunity here. The customers whining is an opportunity. The boss blundering is an opportunity. The solutions missing is an opportunity.


Tough love? Maybe so, but a negative tone? I'm afraid I have to disagree. @Runum is correct; some customers demand you to split oceans like Moses, but we must try as best as possible.

My experience is people here are usually straight up with critique; they will tell you what they're thinking, and that's a good thing - coming out the gates swinging at people who are mostly trying to help doesn't tend to bode well. We're trying to help.

The solution to most of these is just better management to be honest, haha! XD

I mean sure there's a few nuggets in there and I'd imagine our little IT company wasn't alone regarding many of these problems, so perhaps there's something in there worth pondering! I'll certainly have a think.. I guess I'm not sure if any of these problems would constitute a whole business offering, but rather they'd culminate into better strategy for running an IT company but definitely worth a think.

I appreciate what I assume is your wider point here: that I should be looking for problems rather than specific industries or roles to fill though, thanks!

I will check @marchioness post history to see what you're talking about, thanks for the tip!

Tough love? Maybe so, but a negative tone? I'm afraid I have to disagree. @Runum is correct; some customers demand you to split oceans like Moses, but we must try as best as possible.

hmm yeah guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that! But let's not dwell...

My experience is people here are usually straight up with critique; they will tell you what they're thinking, and that's a good thing - coming out the gates swinging at people who are mostly trying to help doesn't tend to bode well. We're trying to help.

I will agree I could have avoided being so defensive, sure - I'm not accustomed to letting strangers on the internet talk down to me, but perhaps you're right and that wasn't his intention and I've misread or attributed malice where there was none. It is difficult to interpret tone sometimes via text, and perhaps you're right and he was just trying to help. As I say though, let's not dwell! Today is a new day...

Thanks for your comments though, I appreciate it!

 

[ZF Lee]

Thanks for sharing

Where I've mentioned being annoyed at the lack of control and being sick of customers etc. these were just some manifestations of a general apathy towards IT as an industry and towards my old company, rather than the sole reasons I was sick of it. The control problem could be solved with running my own business, sure, and of course I'd deal with annoying customers in any industry, you bet - but in general IT just isn't for me any more.

I've tired of all of the monotonous IT support tasks, all the projects like office network setups, server installations and email migrations, tired of the jargon and the products, the cliche types of customers who don't want to invest in their IT after years of convincing and then suddenly are annoyed at the IT provider when something goes wrong.

There's a million more things I can list but rather than waste your time, the bottom line is that I'm generally just really fed up of the industry, and I know that if I were to start my own IT company I would have to dive back into the support side of things myself again as I wouldn't have staff below me to do it. I managed to escape the support work years ago when getting into the management and sales side of things, so going back to it would genuinely be a nightmare...

So we disagreed on priorities and services – e.g., he was undercharging for managed support plans, unprofitable pricing due to boss's decisions. He couldn't let go of unproductive customers, we lacked effective marketing (relied on word of mouth) and he wouldnt invest in it, he hired underqualified individuals just to 'get them in the door'. He was rarely present, and made minimal contribution when he was, still maintaining final say despite never being there to see why we needed to make certain decisilns. He maintained poor relationships with another IT company that outsourced to us, despite constant complaints from all of us that he was overworking us and underpaying on most jobs he used us for (he told me not 6 months after I left that he ended up axing this guy finally though at least). He wasted a lot of his own time and mine checking through invoices before they were sent out, despite the fact he didn't need to do that because I set up our billing software as such (not to mention he'd hired an under qualified, lazy, overwhelmed receptionist who he'd planned to take over this for him, and she couldn't handle even basic tasks so he just kept doing it instead of being a strong leader and making her aware/getting her to change). He made a lot of mistakes that cost us dearly, such as writing a contract that overpromised to one of our biggest customers that they were receive 'immediate support' whenever anything was an emergency (a big no no in IT - support response times have to be clearly defined with timescales and priorities, and cant just have words like 'immediate' in there to be interpreted). They hired a new manager a few years later who read through our agreement and decided to enforce the immediate support whenever she saw fit simply by calling every issue an emergency. We ended up having to go over her head and get a new contract signed, which was embarrassing to say the least. Boss refused to get a lawer to help us draft contracts at a certain point too as it 'would cost too much' failing to see how serious some of the wording on these contracts were and needed to be written correctly otherwise they could be illegal or open to interpretation. I could go on.. it sounds like I'm moaning an awful lot about the guy but he's honestly one of the nicest people I've ever known and we're still good friends - going out with him on Tuesday for a drink as we often do every few weeks/months!

Really this was more manifestation of being fed up where I was, rather than specific customer complaints- I was just getting sick of certain customers and was losing the ability to keep cool and calm, which was partly what tipped me off to their being a problem. I had impeccable customer service for nearly a decade before this started to happen and it really was just another sign that I needed to get out of there. Our company was getting more and more complaints in general, partly due to being understaffed - which was a combination of hiring the wrong people and being in a hiring/firing loop instead of hiring the right people in the first place, and because we were still holding on to dead weight customers and partners taking up all our time, as mentioned. Understaffing and overworking meant poorer service. After many many attempts at resolving this it was just the final nail in the coffin for me, I felt I needed to jump off a sinking ship.

Ironically, most the things my boss disagreed with me about he's since implemented and has found them to have helped. We laugh about it now that he should have listened to me haha

So yeah I'm well aware that disagreements and annoying customers will follow me anywhere, I was just fed up of working at that place and generally want to try something totally new instead of getting back into IT

Wow...a lot you have shared.

I actually think if you want to try something new, sure.
There's no rules that says you can't try stuff.

Still, it's a lot easier to capitalise on your current strengths. It does take MORE time to try to conquer new stuffs, and you are at a stage where you need some small wins quickly.

If you are talking on direction to start, check out this video by MJ:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_58zPgArb4&t=339s


From a job...to a specialized skill...to a specialized unit...each step of the way gets you funds and experience for the next step. Many can already make a good living with the specialized skill, but of course, if you can go forward...go.

Since you are from IT, maybe you can transfer some of your analytical skills to data science? Digital marketing? (Skip the rubbish by the Twitter asses and start with a basic job working for ACTUAL marketers) Web design? (we got Fox around here for that)

This isn't an exhaustive list...but these are a few skills that came to my head, which might still borrow some mental models from your older time in IT. Stuff you might be able to pick up quicker, rather than totally starting from zero.

 

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[bmalc]

Wow...a lot you have shared.

I actually think if you want to try something new, sure.
There's no rules that says you can't try stuff.

Still, it's a lot easier to capitalise on your current strengths. It does take MORE time to try to conquer new stuffs, and you are at a stage where you need some small wins quickly.

If you are talking on direction to start, check out this video by MJ:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_58zPgArb4&t=339s


From a job...to a specialized skill...to a specialized unit...each step of the way gets you funds and experience for the next step. Many can already make a good living with the specialized skill, but of course, if you can go forward...go.

Since you are from IT, maybe you can transfer some of your analytical skills to data science? Digital marketing? (Skip the rubbish by the Twitter asses and start with a basic job working for ACTUAL marketers) Web design? (we got Fox around here for that)

This isn't an exhaustive list...but these are a few skills that came to my head, which might still borrow some mental models from your older time in IT. Stuff you might be able to pick up quicker, rather than totally starting from zero.

Thanks for this all! I will definitely watch that and also have a think about what you've said..

I guess a sort of IT-adjacent industry might be a better shout than starting something totally from scratch.. perhaps I've been too rash in deciding to avoid IT altogether, and maybe something like web design or something analytical could be a good avenue...

I'm currently about halfway through Unscripted and it's definitely made me confront some hard truths about myself regarding my self-perception and other beliefs, as well as my work ethic and values. Much of why I've spent this last year doing what I've been doing is broken down quite clearly in the book, and whilst I've known this in the back of my mind, it's nice to have it all laid out plainly for me to read and stop bullshitting myself!

Thanks again for all of this, much appreciated!

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I'm currently about halfway through Unscripted and it's definitely made me confront some hard truths about myself regarding my self-perception and other beliefs, as well as my work ethic and values. Much of why I've spent this last year doing what I've been doing is broken down quite clearly in the book, and whilst I've known this in the back of my mind, it's nice to have it all laid out plainly for me to read and stop bullshitting myself!

You pretty much described my decision making process here in regards to WHO do I try to help, and WHO do I just ignore?

The first question I ask myself, "Is this guy bullshitting himself?"

The second question I ask, "Is this guy open-minded enough to STOP bullshitting himself?"

I'm glad my 2nd book seems to be getting through to you.

Congrats on being open minded to the message.

 

[bmalc]

You pretty much described my decision making process here in regards to WHO do I try to help, and WHO do I just ignore?

The first question I ask myself, "Is this guy bullshitting himself?"

The second question I ask, "Is this guy open-minded enough to STOP bullshitting himself?"

I'm glad my 2nd book seems to be getting through to you.

Congrats on being open minded to the message.

Thanks for the message MJ!

Yep, definitely a good criteria to use, haha

I see it all the time in my peer groups, acquaintances etc., and it's very easy to sit on a pedestal and tell yourself 'they're all living in the clouds/bullshitting themselves - not me though, I know I'm going to be successful!!'. Not so easy to admit to yourself that you're exactly the same!

Both TMF and Unscripted (so far) are great books, and have certainly changed my perspective on a lot of things, so thank you for writing them so well! Will check back in once I've finished Unscripted !

 

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[Aidan04]

You pretty much described my decision making process here in regards to WHO do I try to help, and WHO do I just ignore?

The first question I ask myself, "Is this guy bullshitting himself?"

The second question I ask, "Is this guy open-minded enough to STOP bullshitting himself?"

I'm glad my 2nd book seems to be getting through to you.

Congrats on being open minded to the message.

Unscripted is your best work in my opinion.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Unscripted is your best work in my opinion.

Thank you, although I think it depends on each person's situation.

Fastlane = A business/financial philosophy.
Unscripted = A life philosophy.
TGRRE = I understand the first 2 books, but I need to see it applied in action, and leave feeling I can do it too.

 

[Yugein]

Hello all

I'm Brad - a 28 year old man living in the UK with big and silly dreams of making it big, and the attention span of a squirrel in Autumn (or 'Fall' for any 'Muricans reading this).

A word of warning before you read this - I will ramble on and on... For those brave enough to waste the next X minutes of their lives reading my half-journal entry/half-boring autobiography; this is the story of what brings me to this forum...

I grew up in a household which is typical for probably most of the world's population in some way or another. My parents split when I was 9 - my father (a drunk, and eventually an abuser) left the house and we struggled financially for some time. My aunt had to move into the house with us to help pay the bills, and the language around money during my upbringing often contained phrases such as 'we can't afford that', 'that's too much money', and 'do you know how much that COSTS??!' - the latter often being in response to my having broken something, or using up the last of something else.

Fast forward, we'd moved to an affordable neighbourhood in a comparatively middle class area, and as a result many of my friends growing up 'had' where I 'had not'. Holidays, presents, allowances, takeaways on the weekends, nice clothes etc.
Dont get me wrong, I didn't grow up 'poor' - just 'broke' (as Dave Chappelle put it). I still had presents at Christmas (some of which were a computer, a bike, a PS3 etc.), and when my stepfather (a relatively well off - but still working class - self employed roofer) came on the scene, eventually we went on the occasional holiday too.

One amazing part of my upbringing which I credit my dear mother greatly for - I had a solid work ethic instilled in me from a very young age. I didn't just get given things, I had to work for them. I had to do chores daily before I was allowed to play outside, often enlisting the help of my friends to get it done quicker so we could get out and get into trouble. When I was bad in school or at home (a very frequent occurrence) I was punished, and had to do even more chores. I remember one time I broke a car window which my mother had to pay a few hundred pounds to fix, and I worked it off over months. I can still remember her despair over the bill, as she never had that sort of money on hand, and I still remember the guilt I felt for causing it.

I got my first job at 16 washing dishes for a restaurant kitchen. I worked there two years, and grew to despise it. I knew I didn't want to do any sort of menial job ever again. I'm glad I worked there, as it taught me so much about the 'hard graft' - both the positive character building aspects, and the negative soul crushing ones.

I struggled through my teenage years with self esteem issues, drug addiction and a general apathetic life approach. I had no direction at all, despite my intelligence and talent in many areas of school. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

At 18, after dropping out of college just before I would have failed my A Levels (I spent most of those 2 years skipping class and getting high), I got an apprenticeship in IT by basically picking a job out of a hat. I had an interest in computers and I figured it would do for now.

I ended up working there for 9 years. My boss, an absolute gem, taught me so much - not just about IT, but about being a man - and a good one at that. He taught me how a business worked, how to sell, how to give great customer service, how to resolve problems, and through osmosis, how to be a great manager and leader. By the time I was around 25, I was basically running the place with him, and was a shoe in to take over his role as the Managing Director in a few years when he decided to take a step down.

However - as often these things do - it all began to fall apart, little by little. I became disaffected, and dissatisfied with the direction the business was was going. I lost the love for IT, and complaining customers went from a slight inconvenience that I was eager to remedy, to a daily occurrence I was just outright sick off. I could feel anger bubbling up far too often in my interactions with customers and colleagues alike. I could see the trees growing back, blocking the woods I'd once seen so clearly.

I knew I had to leave. I was leaving a cushy role with almost complete freedom, a 4 day working week (something I negotiated for the whole company that they still do to this day, nearly a year after my leaving), and a £50k salary with 10% profit-sharing. I was leaving a great boss who valued me and stood by me through pretty much everything. I was leaving nearly a decade of great relationships with customers and colleagues. I was leaving a safe, secure income on the precipice of a global economic meltdown.

On the face of things (as many of my friends and family were telling me at the time) - I was making a stupid mistake. I had no plan, no side hustle ready to be dived into full time, and no real direction of what I was going to do next. The world was my oyster, but I was a blind fisherman allergic to shellfish. As crazy as I seemed, I had some savings to fall back onto to keep my bills paid (rent is cheap when you live with your parents!), and in my view - I wasn't giving up all these wonderful things, I was leaving a place I wasn't happy. I'd learnt a lot about business, and really fancied myself an entrepreneur based on how great I was doing in my job. I could see where (I thought) my boss was making poor decisions, or missing great opportunities, or not being risky enough to facilitate real growth. I knew if I had total control, I'd run the place so much better and we'd be making so much more money.

Fast forward to nearly a year later since quitting, I have done nothing. I've read countless self-help and business books, watched hundreds of hours of business guru videos and podcasts, and have fantasised over every new shiny idea that's came my way, whilst committing to absolutely none of them. I've started (using this term very loosely) and subsequently given up on perhaps two dozen (or more) 'business ideas', including: dropshipping, selling AI generated digital art, excel spreadsheets or daily planners on Etsy, no-code app development, being a YouTuber, being an author, digital marketing, b2b process automation, newsletters, proffesional Tweeting, selling fitness courses, and plenty more pointless ventures that have done nothing for improving my income, and everything for destroying my sense of self worth.

Most of these ideas came from (you guessed it) YouTube videos and other places online where they talk about whatever bullshit, flavour of the week business model is hot right now. I started most of these with excitement, wonder, and the feeling of infinite potential. Every new idea was 'the one' and it was going to make me rich. I told everyone I knew about every idea, about how it was perfect and I'd be making money hand over fist any day now. Pretty soon after starting, I'd convince myself it was never going to work, or it would be too much hassle, too competitive, or I was too inexperienced to do it - or I would feel like it's just another scammy bullshit YouTube Guru click bait idea, and that I was a fool for even believing in it. Most of the time though, the ideas just didn't sit right with me... My friends and family grew tired of hearing the same thing every week from me, and most of them began to laugh off anything I was telling them, or just humouring me, waiting for the inevitable change of plan to come around the following week. It began really grating on me that I wasn't able to pick something, stick with it and do it quietly.

I've dipped in and out of depression for most of my life, and Jan-August 2023 was probably the longest I've gone without feeling incredibly low, which I attribute purely to my freedom from having to get up and work for someone else. It came back around 3-4 months ago though, as it always does. I'd now entirely lost my sense of purpose. With nothing to wake up for in the morning, my sleeping pattern had become nocturnal, with 5-7AM bedtimes and late afternoon awakenings. I began habitually drinking alcohol - something I've struggled with on and off for years but developed a real problem with this year (going through a 70cl bottle of spirits every couple of days). I stopped working out, and practically never left my bed (although I've more or less always spent far too long in bed every day).

Some time in mid-September, I got my motivation back. I started dieting again, lifting weights 4x week and getting out of bed to move around more. I decided I was going to really try the YouTube thing, and was working every day on scripts and video ideas, doing research and creating a Notion template to manage my projects. I felt that buzz of productivity again for the first time in a long time. Then it happened.

I got a call that my Dad was in the hospital, and it wasn't looking good. My father and I had a strained relationship over the years, as he was absent for much of my life, only seeing my sister and I maybe once a year for the past decade or so. We got on okay, but I harboured a lot of resentment for how little he was in my life and the fact we didn't really know each other. His alcoholism had ruined his life entirely. He lost his family, he could never hold a job and eventually gave up entirely, relying on the government to house and feed him through benefits, and he'd managed to push away everyone in his family due to some nefarious pilfering of his dementia-ridden mother's life savings (around £20k by the end). Not only that, but it of course destroyed his health, and after sitting with him for a few days in the hospital, watching him lie there, hooked up to life support machines (either completely unconscious or just barely aware of his surroundings), his body eventually gave out to the years of abuse and he died less than a month before his 57th birthday.

This plunged me into the worst depression I'd ever been through. My life became a groundhog day of drinking myself stupid, lying in bed crying, or watching movies and playing video games to take my mind off things. Only now (around 2 months later) am I beginning to feel normal again. I took a short holiday to escape for a week, and have come back with renewed motivation, but unfortunately the same lack of direction that will inevitably result in depression when I've wasted a few more months of my precious freedom on pointless and half-assed business endeavours.

This time I want to do it differently.

I read TMF a few months ago and by chance stumbled on this forum today after reading a post on here about Alex Hormozi. I figured I would join and see if I can hopefully find some resources to help me discover what I want to be when I grow up.

My biggest problems are of course:

1) Direction
2) Commitment
3) Deferred Gratification

These problems are also roughly in order of how they are listed - and I'm hoping that in the coming days I can at least figure out what the hell I'm going to do, and what type of business I'm going to start.

If anyone managed to actually read all of this, and knows of any good resources to help me figure this eternal question out at least to get me on the right track for NOW, that would be great. I know this whole question of 'purpose' is ongoing and ever changing - but I need to think of an idea for a business to start right now, and so far my brain isn't allowing me to settle on anything. I'm wondering if I'm just not equipped with the right tools, or if I'm not asking myself the right questions...

Anyway, thanks for reading, if you have...

TLDR:
I'm Brad, im a wantrepreneur, and I don't have a f*cking clue what business I want to start.

I have read your entire autobiography, I warn you immediately that I absolutely cannot help you or give you advice because I did it in the only but to reassure myself that I do not feel alone, because we have the same age and I think our lives are eerily 98% identical.
At best, my post will just allow you to tell yourself that you are not alone in this situation. I know and perceive what you feel.

PS: I am French and use a translator, there are surely mistakes, sorry.

 

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[bmalc]

I have read your entire autobiography, I warn you immediately that I absolutely cannot help you or give you advice because I did it in the only but to reassure myself that I do not feel alone, because we have the same age and I think our lives are eerily 98% identical.
At best, my post will just allow you to tell yourself that you are not alone in this situation. I know and perceive what you feel.

PS: I am French and use a translator, there are surely mistakes, sorry.

Haha thank you for the message! Nice to hear its not just me lol

 

[JordanK]

This might be a left of field suggestion but from reading your thread I think you'd benefit from some extensive travel. If you have a few thousand in savings left, head out to a cheaper region like Southeast Asia/Bali for a few months and hang around with other entrepreneurs who are doing what you aspire to do/living freely.

Being from Ireland (similar lifestyle/weather/culture) to the UK. I found traveling really unlocked a different side to me and meeting others who live life completely differently exposed me to a world I knew nothing about or couldn't ever imagine previously.

Some people get a similar benefit from leaving their hometown and going to college but you've lived at home and worked for 9 years since leaving school.

Your money will go further in these countries too so you'll experience a lifestyle that is unachievable for the same amounts in the UK. When you come home you'll never quite be able to adapt back to the level you were once at.

Failing that, get involved in local networking groups.
You need to surround yourself with people winning and potential mentors.

 

[bmalc]

This might be a left of field suggestion but from reading your thread I think you'd benefit from some extensive travel. If you have a few thousand in savings left, head out to a cheaper region like Southeast Asia/Bali for a few months and hang around with other entrepreneurs who are doing what you aspire to do/living freely.

Being from Ireland (similar lifestyle/weather/culture) to the UK. I found traveling really unlocked a different side to me and meeting others who live life completely differently exposed me to a world I knew nothing about or couldn't ever imagine previously.

Some people get a similar benefit from leaving their hometown and going to college but you've lived at home and worked for 9 years since leaving school.

Your money will go further in these countries too so you'll experience a lifestyle that is unachievable for the same amounts in the UK. When you come home you'll never quite be able to adapt back to the level you were once at.

Failing that, get involved in local networking groups.
You need to surround yourself with people winning and potential mentors.

Haha! Funny you should mention - I'm already doing exactly that! Parents are moving to Portugal and my plan originally was to move with them and find a place for myself there but I don't meet the income requirements. My plan now is to to travel until my savings run out (I should get a few years in).

I'm starting either in Australia or Thailand and will spend a lot of time in South East Asia for the reasons you've mentioned! Probably leaving for place number 1 in January or February

 

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[DavdoesWoodnTenn]

Yeah I see your point but I definitely read condescension there.. the flippant rhetorical question, subsequent sarcasm and presumptive comment about my 'cherry picking what I want to hear'. Hard to read anything other than negative tone here, but I see your point that perhaps it was simply a reference to a Fastlane principle etc. and perhaps I've read some hostility there that wasn't intended, in which case @Runum, I apologise!

Anyway- aside from all that...

Yeah ideally I'd like to find something that excites me but that I can apply preexisting skills to of course - many of the skills I've built over my career are for sure transferable to a bunch of different industries. Constantly dealing with customers, b2b sales and support, communicating complicated issues in layman's terms, managing projects, business strategy, negotiation, structuring packages, problem solving etc. - there's a whole load of things I've learned that apply to many businesses.

I think my struggle here at the moment is needing to find something that 'clicks' you know? My head is all over the place after this last year and my father's passing, and I definitely have an overwhelming sense of hopelessness.. perhaps I've built up this idea in my head that I will just 'find something' I want to do that's pefect for me - maybe I'm being delusional and just need to settle on something I can do well over something that I'll enjoy..

Yeah I see your point but I definitely read condescension there.. the flippant rhetorical question, subsequent sarcasm and presumptive comment about my 'cherry picking what I want to hear'. Hard to read anything other than negative tone here, but I see your point that perhaps it was simply a reference to a Fastlane principle etc. and perhaps I've read some hostility there that wasn't intended, in which case @Runum, I apologise!

Anyway- aside from all that...

Yeah ideally I'd like to find something that excites me but that I can apply preexisting skills to of course - many of the skills I've built over my career are for sure transferable to a bunch of different industries. Constantly dealing with customers, b2b sales and support, communicating complicated issues in layman's terms, managing projects, business strategy, negotiation, structuring packages, problem solving etc. - there's a whole load of things I've learned that apply to many businesses.

I think my struggle here at the moment is needing to find something that 'clicks' you know? My head is all over the place after this last year and my father's passing, and I definitely have an overwhelming sense of hopelessness.. perhaps I've built up this idea in my head that I will just 'find something' I want to do that's pefect for me - maybe I'm being delusional and just need to settle on something I can do well over something that I'll enjoy..

Eveving blmac.
I have read all Ur (whole) post & members comments up to this point. Just my personal (HO) & thoughts on this.
I think what others are saying (trying 2) is that beings U have prior IT exp, go w/what you know : 2 get started.
I understand & know what Ur saying. You (had Ur fill of it) & don't want to get back into the IT field.
Then don't... : ) Don't settle 4 doing "IT" work again... Understandably so, U weren't happy with the w/things were being done (while U were employed) by Ur old boss. (my interpretation of the others comments are:
JUST Use what U have EXP in & know how U don't want it to be from prior exp? I believe all they're trying to say is U have 10 yrs. exp in the IT field, then just use it to get started (do it differently) IE: teach others.
Then again : ) what do I know: I've been trying to get outta working a $ for yrs. I'm a 60 yr young, carpenter (by trade) for 25yrs & grease monkey by choice, make extra $ doing it for others (mostly single moms) to keep them from being ripped off by shops.
Just a thought
B-Safe & Have a Blessed Evening & Happy Holidays
David AKA DavnTenn

 

[JordanK]

Haha! Funny you should mention - I'm already doing exactly that! Parents are moving to Portugal and my plan originally was to move with them and find a place for myself there but I don't meet the income requirements. My plan now is to to travel until my savings run out (I should get a few years in).

I'm starting either in Australia or Thailand and will spend a lot of time in South East Asia for the reasons you've mentioned! Probably leaving for place number 1 in January or February

Check your family history. If you happen to have Irish ancestry you could get one of our EU Passports.