VENT: I'm tired, worn out, trying to skirt burn out

[HoneyBadger302]

This is a VENT - it is not dictating my actions. I just don't have anyone IRL who would "get it" that I know well enough to talk to.

[vent]
I'm worn out. I was only ever sold, told, and shown the script, and I bought into it not even realizing there was another way. The only people I saw who followed other paths successfully had rather different (note, better financial) starts in life. I was not exposed to people who actually did well on their own until MUCH later in life, and by then, I was so far behind the power curve it's embarrassing. I was too stupid to question those things, or too busy fighting the forced religious oppression (especially as a female, choosing to pursue work and college already meant I was breaking out of the mold since I was raised to believe - although I never did - that my only purpose for existing was to be a servant to a husband and because of the bits I was born with that was my only value on this planet).

Sob story aside, way too late in life I started to wake up to reality that 'working hard at my job' was NOT going to get me even remotely close to the life I want. This all led to my FTE, which had me starting my business and finally landing my first good client, and honestly the financial difference has been radical - BUT -

- at this point, I'm still working solo; I still have a day job since the business does NOT have reliable income; and even before this I was working my f/t job plus p/t job(s).

And I'm worn out. I'm tired. There's a dim prick of light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a LONG ways off right now. I'm not going into running a business for a love of creating something new - I'm doing it for financial and time freedom, both things the Script will never provide me - but I don't have a "passion" for starting a business, mostly just a passion to not be an employee or cog in someone else's wheel (if I was financially free, I would probably have a "passion" business or two, but that's very different than a business I need to support my life).

I'm not tech savvy (as in I don't know coding, I'm not going to go build some killer app or that sort of thing) - not an inventor or particularly prone to great ideas. Every time I think I might have happened upon a need, a quick search shows it's already out there and solved for people. I feel my business - or my idea for it - could fulfill a need, but growth is going to be painfully slow and very time consuming until there's more capital rolling in and a network starts to develop.

In the meantime, the day to day grind of juggling it all is wearing on me. When my current contract ends, if my finances are looking okay, I'm honestly tempted to take a break from pushing and applying on behalf of the business and just work my day job for a bit - just scared of losing the tiny bit of imperceptible momentum I have worked so hard for.

No matter what, right NOW - I'm tired. I'm worn out. I'm exhausted. My ADHD keeps freaking out and putting me into shut down mode when things start to go even a little sideways. I'm mad at the world, our economy, the culture in the area of the country I live in....ugh.
[/vent]

Off I go. No rest for the weary as they like to say. Tomorrow's a new day.

 

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[Bekit]

Dude.

Your username is honey badger.

I'm going to reframe your whole post as the predator talking. (The predator is much bigger and stronger than the honey badger, by the way.)

But HONEY BADGER DON'T CARE.

Predator: I'm gonna wear you out. You know how you were sold, told, and shown nothing but the script? Yeah, that was me. And you bought into it not even realizing there was another way. Hahaha, gotcha!

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: I'm out to convince you that the only people who followed other paths successfully had rather different (note, better financial) starts in life. I'm going to keep on making every effort to make sure you're not exposed to people who actually did well on their own. And I'm going to scream into your ear that you are so far behind the power curve it's embarrassing.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: I think you were just too stupid to question those things. And I'm not ashamed to keep you focused on being too busy fighting forced religious oppression. I'll keep beating the drum that your only purpose for existing is to be a servant to a husband and yep, that is your only value on this planet.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: It was way too late in life when you started to wake up to reality that 'working hard at my job' was NOT going to get me even remotely close to the life I want. So it's over. Too late. Too bad, so sad.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: Pathetic. Look at you, still working solo; you still have a day job since the business does NOT have reliable income; and even before this you were working your f/t job plus p/t job(s). That proves it's destined to fail.

You: Honey badger don't care. Watch me succeed in the face of all of this.

Predator: No. You're worn out. You're tired.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: That dim prick of light at the end of the tunnel? Forget about it. It's way too far off right now to ever materialize. You have no passion. You have no tech skills. You don't know coding. You're not an inventor. You're not particularly prone to great ideas. What chance do you have?

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: Every need you've ever thought of, a quick search shows it's already out there and solved for people. Your growth is going to be painfully slow and very time consuming. Why bother?

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: In the meantime, I'm going to be relentless at wearing you out with the day to day grind of juggling it all. When your current contract ends, it's over. That tiny bit of imperceptible momentum you have worked so hard for? Worthless.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: No matter what, I'm going to keep you tired. Worn out. Exhausted. Don't expect a break. I'm going to ramp up your ADHD until the previous freakouts looked like diddly-squat. If I can help it, things are going to keep going sideways. The one thing I do support is that you're mad at the world, our economy, the culture in the area of the country you live in. Keep up the good work.

You: Off I go. No rest for the weary as they like to say. Tomorrow's a new day.

Hey look, the honey badger won the day! That predator did its worst and still didn't manage to make a dent in your resolve! #applause

 

[Jobless]

Some spontaneous advice: Make some small changes to your environment, slowly transforming it into something new. I'm talking about how you organize your work environment, home, digital environment, the people you surround yourself with, etc. Changing these things can yield a new perspective and renewed energy. Simplify and clean up as much as possible, and maybe you will regain the sense of being in control. One step ahead.

 

[Sirrom]

Start a simple service business.

 

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[ZF Lee]

OP, you aren't alone.

And I'm worn out. I'm tired. There's a dim prick of light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a LONG ways off right now. I'm not going into running a business for a love of creating something new - I'm doing it for financial and time freedom, both things the Script will never provide me - but I don't have a "passion" for starting a business, mostly just a passion to not be an employee or cog in someone else's wheel (if I was financially free, I would probably have a "passion" business or two, but that's very different than a business I need to support my life).

This is actually a good start.

Running anything to serve customers WILL have many boring things to do.

Even with my freelance copywriting, I have many boring things to do.

Read up potential client websites...write some emails outreach...redraw some client's marketing calendars...it's not sexy work as what the gurus preach. But it moves the needle forward.

Key is to know what you want to achieve...which method appears the best for hitting it with the intel you've got...and then go do it. Act, assess, adjust.

Every time I think I might have happened upon a need, a quick search shows it's already out there and solved for people.

Well...if it really were true...that means I would be a broke copywriter by now with the 5 bazillion ones on Upwork and everyone else on the net...

Just because a solution is already out there-- it doesn't means its 100% perfect.

I'll give you an analogy:

Many times I actually avoid the BEST restaurants (on TripAdvisor or social media) in my hometown because they WILL be swamped by tourists. Because they are swamped, the cooks won't be able to keep quality control of the food. Even worse, some of their owners get greedy and start hiking prices up.

So guess where I go to? The second-rate shops nearby-- where the crowd isn't as huge...the chairs aren't as fancy... but the food is actually good and not watered-down.

I'm mad at the world, our economy, the culture in the area of the country I live in....ugh.

I'm mad too.

And this is why I work-- even though folks around me complain about my late nights.
I could do better with time management. But I want to get more things done.

I don't want the SCRIPT to take more shit from me than it already has.

 

[Antifragile]

This is a VENT - it is not dictating my actions. I just don't have anyone IRL who would "get it" that I know well enough to talk to.

[vent]
I'm worn out. I was only ever sold, told, and shown the script, and I bought into it not even realizing there was another way. The only people I saw who followed other paths successfully had rather different (note, better financial) starts in life. I was not exposed to people who actually did well on their own until MUCH later in life, and by then, I was so far behind the power curve it's embarrassing. I was too stupid to question those things, or too busy fighting the forced religious oppression (especially as a female, choosing to pursue work and college already meant I was breaking out of the mold since I was raised to believe - although I never did - that my only purpose for existing was to be a servant to a husband and because of the bits I was born with that was my only value on this planet).

Sob story aside, way too late in life I started to wake up to reality that 'working hard at my job' was NOT going to get me even remotely close to the life I want. This all led to my FTE, which had me starting my business and finally landing my first good client, and honestly the financial difference has been radical - BUT -

- at this point, I'm still working solo; I still have a day job since the business does NOT have reliable income; and even before this I was working my f/t job plus p/t job(s).

And I'm worn out. I'm tired. There's a dim prick of light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a LONG ways off right now. I'm not going into running a business for a love of creating something new - I'm doing it for financial and time freedom, both things the Script will never provide me - but I don't have a "passion" for starting a business, mostly just a passion to not be an employee or cog in someone else's wheel (if I was financially free, I would probably have a "passion" business or two, but that's very different than a business I need to support my life).

I'm not tech savvy (as in I don't know coding, I'm not going to go build some killer app or that sort of thing) - not an inventor or particularly prone to great ideas. Every time I think I might have happened upon a need, a quick search shows it's already out there and solved for people. I feel my business - or my idea for it - could fulfill a need, but growth is going to be painfully slow and very time consuming until there's more capital rolling in and a network starts to develop.

In the meantime, the day to day grind of juggling it all is wearing on me. When my current contract ends, if my finances are looking okay, I'm honestly tempted to take a break from pushing and applying on behalf of the business and just work my day job for a bit - just scared of losing the tiny bit of imperceptible momentum I have worked so hard for.

No matter what, right NOW - I'm tired. I'm worn out. I'm exhausted. My ADHD keeps freaking out and putting me into shut down mode when things start to go even a little sideways. I'm mad at the world, our economy, the culture in the area of the country I live in....ugh.
[/vent]

Off I go. No rest for the weary as they like to say. Tomorrow's a new day.

I gave this post a GOLD like because honestly it’s more common than rare. This is what happens to just about everyone I know. And it’s usually not something anyone is willing to talk about.

Looking back, we tend to embellish a little, make ourselves look smarter… justify some bad decisions by making them look like “good experiences”.

Few are brutally honest AFTER reaching success. Yet I think it’s normal and part of the process. As much as this statement sucks.

If I had to do it all over again, I’d be born rich. That’s my joke answer but that’s because of dark moments like wha you describe… it’s just part of it.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Johnny boy]

You had great parents and you rebelled against them and they were right all along.

This reality you’re in is your payment for your hubris.

 

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[REV5028]

A lot of what you've shared resonates with me, and as Antifragile said it's refreshing to hear someone else say what very few often admit.

I'm doing it for financial and time freedom, both things the Script will never provide me - but I don't have a "passion" for starting a business, mostly just a passion to not be an employee or cog in someone else's wheel (if I was financially free, I would probably have a "passion" business or two, but that's very different than a business I need to support my life)

Any reason your "passion" business couldn't support your life? How many months would you need at your day job plus the side income to pay off debts or save up enough to cover most of your expenses for a few months? I thought it would take me years to pay off my debt, but when I actually sat down and did the math I can be (mostly) debt free and almost a year ahead on mortgage payments in 11-12 months with my full time job and the $400 extra from my current side hustle that I intend to grow into something bigger and better. This lightened my emotional dread significantly; it wasn't nearly as bleak as it felt. Also, even though I'm very much passionate about what I'm building I am currently just as passionate about the financial and time freedom of having any sort of business and it makes things frustrating - I think this is where the majority of us start. We yearn so desperately for that freedom and we feel so pressured by time that it's hard to find any joy or hope in the early days. I believe that there's a "cross over point" where you'll start seeing the fruits of your daily 1% efforts and things will feel a lot less dark.

I'm not tech savvy

While tech is all the rave these days, people will still need things that aren't so reliant on tech. Two phrases come to mind: 1) "history repeats itself" - society once wasn't so heavily dependent on technology, and since we're still wired like those of our prehistoric ancestors, I think non-tech services and solutions are going to start having a higher demand. 2) ... sh!t... lost my train of thought... oh yes, there it is... "in a gold rush, sell shovels" - so many people are flocking to tech. Look somewhere different.

Lastly, don't give up on yourself. Give yourself some rest and some grace. If you need to take a break from the business for a bit to gain some clarity, do it. You've come so far and have achieved so much - achievements made while drinking the Kool Aid still count (something that has taken me 2 years to accept). You've got this, lady!

 

[Andy Black]

Figure out how to keep your one client happy, without being so tired. Then how to get more.

Our constraints (lack of time, lack of money, whatever) help us.

 

[HoneyBadger302]

Appreciate those responding - my journey is in that stage of having a almost non-existent circle IRL, and sometimes it's just good to get it off my chest to the ether and realize/be reminded that I'm not alone and it's all just a part of the journey.

Like I said at the beginning, it's not changing my actions, I'm still very driven to change my situation. My life has radically changed in many good ways, zero regrets on the current course - just juggling it all gets tiring sometimes (plus it's spring and the start of the "summer" season always piles on before things get a little more routine again).

 

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[amp0193]

Anyone who's found success has gone through this.

Those who don't, quit because it got too hard.

Learn to love the struggle.

The Obstacle is the Way

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Hang in there.

When I look back, I could have written your post 30 years ago. I had the same types of feelings and frustrations and I've come to believe that it mostly everyone coming from nothing experiences some level of this.

Anxiety is future based and is the chasm between WANT and HAVE.

For me, the answer is also to recenter to what you do HAVE (focus on where you have come from and today) and simply try to win the day. How can you fire your feedback loop with genuine wins (not cheap dopamine shortcuts), no matter how small, each day? Sometimes winning also means losing a battle here or there in defense of winning the war.

Dude.

Sometimes I forget cuz of the name and the motorcycle avatar, but HoneyBadger is female.

 

[Lex DeVille]

Dude.

Your username is honey badger.

I'm going to reframe your whole post as the predator talking. (The predator is much bigger and stronger than the honey badger, by the way.)

But HONEY BADGER DON'T CARE.

Predator: I'm gonna wear you out. You know how you were sold, told, and shown nothing but the script? Yeah, that was me. And you bought into it not even realizing there was another way. Hahaha, gotcha!

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: I'm out to convince you that the only people who followed other paths successfully had rather different (note, better financial) starts in life. I'm going to keep on making every effort to make sure you're not exposed to people who actually did well on their own. And I'm going to scream into your ear that you are so far behind the power curve it's embarrassing.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: I think you were just too stupid to question those things. And I'm not ashamed to keep you focused on being too busy fighting forced religious oppression. I'll keep beating the drum that your only purpose for existing is to be a servant to a husband and yep, that is your only value on this planet.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: It was way too late in life when you started to wake up to reality that 'working hard at my job' was NOT going to get me even remotely close to the life I want. So it's over. Too late. Too bad, so sad.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: Pathetic. Look at you, still working solo; you still have a day job since the business does NOT have reliable income; and even before this you were working your f/t job plus p/t job(s). That proves it's destined to fail.

You: Honey badger don't care. Watch me succeed in the face of all of this.

Predator: No. You're worn out. You're tired.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: That dim prick of light at the end of the tunnel? Forget about it. It's way too far off right now to ever materialize. You have no passion. You have no tech skills. You don't know coding. You're not an inventor. You're not particularly prone to great ideas. What chance do you have?

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: Every need you've ever thought of, a quick search shows it's already out there and solved for people. Your growth is going to be painfully slow and very time consuming. Why bother?

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: In the meantime, I'm going to be relentless at wearing you out with the day to day grind of juggling it all. When your current contract ends, it's over. That tiny bit of imperceptible momentum you have worked so hard for? Worthless.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: No matter what, I'm going to keep you tired. Worn out. Exhausted. Don't expect a break. I'm going to ramp up your ADHD until the previous freakouts looked like diddly-squat. If I can help it, things are going to keep going sideways. The one thing I do support is that you're mad at the world, our economy, the culture in the area of the country you live in. Keep up the good work.

You: Off I go. No rest for the weary as they like to say. Tomorrow's a new day.

Hey look, the honey badger won the day! That predator did its worst and still didn't manage to make a dent in your resolve! #applause

Waterbear don't care either.

 

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[Kevin88660]

This is a VENT - it is not dictating my actions. I just don't have anyone IRL who would "get it" that I know well enough to talk to.

[vent]
I'm worn out. I was only ever sold, told, and shown the script, and I bought into it not even realizing there was another way. The only people I saw who followed other paths successfully had rather different (note, better financial) starts in life. I was not exposed to people who actually did well on their own until MUCH later in life, and by then, I was so far behind the power curve it's embarrassing. I was too stupid to question those things, or too busy fighting the forced religious oppression (especially as a female, choosing to pursue work and college already meant I was breaking out of the mold since I was raised to believe - although I never did - that my only purpose for existing was to be a servant to a husband and because of the bits I was born with that was my only value on this planet).

Sob story aside, way too late in life I started to wake up to reality that 'working hard at my job' was NOT going to get me even remotely close to the life I want. This all led to my FTE, which had me starting my business and finally landing my first good client, and honestly the financial difference has been radical - BUT -

- at this point, I'm still working solo; I still have a day job since the business does NOT have reliable income; and even before this I was working my f/t job plus p/t job(s).

And I'm worn out. I'm tired. There's a dim prick of light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a LONG ways off right now. I'm not going into running a business for a love of creating something new - I'm doing it for financial and time freedom, both things the Script will never provide me - but I don't have a "passion" for starting a business, mostly just a passion to not be an employee or cog in someone else's wheel (if I was financially free, I would probably have a "passion" business or two, but that's very different than a business I need to support my life).

I'm not tech savvy (as in I don't know coding, I'm not going to go build some killer app or that sort of thing) - not an inventor or particularly prone to great ideas. Every time I think I might have happened upon a need, a quick search shows it's already out there and solved for people. I feel my business - or my idea for it - could fulfill a need, but growth is going to be painfully slow and very time consuming until there's more capital rolling in and a network starts to develop.

In the meantime, the day to day grind of juggling it all is wearing on me. When my current contract ends, if my finances are looking okay, I'm honestly tempted to take a break from pushing and applying on behalf of the business and just work my day job for a bit - just scared of losing the tiny bit of imperceptible momentum I have worked so hard for.

No matter what, right NOW - I'm tired. I'm worn out. I'm exhausted. My ADHD keeps freaking out and putting me into shut down mode when things start to go even a little sideways. I'm mad at the world, our economy, the culture in the area of the country I live in....ugh.
[/vent]

Off I go. No rest for the weary as they like to say. Tomorrow's a new day.

This is a VENT - it is not dictating my actions. I just don't have anyone IRL who would "get it" that I know well enough to talk to.

[vent]
I'm worn out. I was only ever sold, told, and shown the script, and I bought into it not even realizing there was another way. The only people I saw who followed other paths successfully had rather different (note, better financial) starts in life. I was not exposed to people who actually did well on their own until MUCH later in life, and by then, I was so far behind the power curve it's embarrassing. I was too stupid to question those things, or too busy fighting the forced religious oppression (especially as a female, choosing to pursue work and college already meant I was breaking out of the mold since I was raised to believe - although I never did - that my only purpose for existing was to be a servant to a husband and because of the bits I was born with that was my only value on this planet).

Sob story aside, way too late in life I started to wake up to reality that 'working hard at my job' was NOT going to get me even remotely close to the life I want. This all led to my FTE, which had me starting my business and finally landing my first good client, and honestly the financial difference has been radical - BUT -

- at this point, I'm still working solo; I still have a day job since the business does NOT have reliable income; and even before this I was working my f/t job plus p/t job(s).

And I'm worn out. I'm tired. There's a dim prick of light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a LONG ways off right now. I'm not going into running a business for a love of creating something new - I'm doing it for financial and time freedom, both things the Script will never provide me - but I don't have a "passion" for starting a business, mostly just a passion to not be an employee or cog in someone else's wheel (if I was financially free, I would probably have a "passion" business or two, but that's very different than a business I need to support my life).

I'm not tech savvy (as in I don't know coding, I'm not going to go build some killer app or that sort of thing) - not an inventor or particularly prone to great ideas. Every time I think I might have happened upon a need, a quick search shows it's already out there and solved for people. I feel my business - or my idea for it - could fulfill a need, but growth is going to be painfully slow and very time consuming until there's more capital rolling in and a network starts to develop.

In the meantime, the day to day grind of juggling it all is wearing on me. When my current contract ends, if my finances are looking okay, I'm honestly tempted to take a break from pushing and applying on behalf of the business and just work my day job for a bit - just scared of losing the tiny bit of imperceptible momentum I have worked so hard for.

No matter what, right NOW - I'm tired. I'm worn out. I'm exhausted. My ADHD keeps freaking out and putting me into shut down mode when things start to go even a little sideways. I'm mad at the world, our economy, the culture in the area of the country I live in....ugh.
[/vent]

Off I go. No rest for the weary as they like to say. Tomorrow's a new day.

No passion for business? Not knowing what to do? Not seeing lights at the end of the tunnel?

Just repeat what others have done before and look for business ideas within a narrower niche.

If you look at the forum here and anecdotally elsewhere most people who made it are in e-commerce or sass.

A large enough TAM with persistent needs will create most millionaires in any given time frame.

Being not interested in tech leaves you with e-commerce. Also there are a lot of good case studies of e-commerce posted here.

It will beat 90 percent of the original ideas

 

[Bekit]

Sometimes I forget cuz of the name and the motorcycle avatar, but HoneyBadger is female.

Yeah I saw this line in the post but chose to leave in "dude."

(especially as a female, choosing to pursue work and college already meant I was breaking out of the mold since I was raised to believe - although I never did - that my only purpose for existing was to be a servant to a husband and because of the bits I was born with that was my only value on this planet).

Can a girl call another girl "dude"? I do with my sisters occasionally. Shrug.

@HoneyBadger302 I hope me saying "dude" didn't come across as wrong or weird to you. I also had a very religious upbringing where women weren't supposed to work. I was raised to believe that it was very shameful to pursue a career as a woman. I totally get the struggle in breaking out of that mold, and I cheer you on in taking these bold steps forward!

You've got this! We're rooting for you!

 

[Panos Daras]

Dude.

Your username is honey badger.

I'm going to reframe your whole post as the predator talking. (The predator is much bigger and stronger than the honey badger, by the way.)

But HONEY BADGER DON'T CARE.

Predator: I'm gonna wear you out. You know how you were sold, told, and shown nothing but the script? Yeah, that was me. And you bought into it not even realizing there was another way. Hahaha, gotcha!

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: I'm out to convince you that the only people who followed other paths successfully had rather different (note, better financial) starts in life. I'm going to keep on making every effort to make sure you're not exposed to people who actually did well on their own. And I'm going to scream into your ear that you are so far behind the power curve it's embarrassing.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: I think you were just too stupid to question those things. And I'm not ashamed to keep you focused on being too busy fighting forced religious oppression. I'll keep beating the drum that your only purpose for existing is to be a servant to a husband and yep, that is your only value on this planet.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: It was way too late in life when you started to wake up to reality that 'working hard at my job' was NOT going to get me even remotely close to the life I want. So it's over. Too late. Too bad, so sad.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: Pathetic. Look at you, still working solo; you still have a day job since the business does NOT have reliable income; and even before this you were working your f/t job plus p/t job(s). That proves it's destined to fail.

You: Honey badger don't care. Watch me succeed in the face of all of this.

Predator: No. You're worn out. You're tired.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: That dim prick of light at the end of the tunnel? Forget about it. It's way too far off right now to ever materialize. You have no passion. You have no tech skills. You don't know coding. You're not an inventor. You're not particularly prone to great ideas. What chance do you have?

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: Every need you've ever thought of, a quick search shows it's already out there and solved for people. Your growth is going to be painfully slow and very time consuming. Why bother?

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: In the meantime, I'm going to be relentless at wearing you out with the day to day grind of juggling it all. When your current contract ends, it's over. That tiny bit of imperceptible momentum you have worked so hard for? Worthless.

You: Honey badger don't care.

Predator: No matter what, I'm going to keep you tired. Worn out. Exhausted. Don't expect a break. I'm going to ramp up your ADHD until the previous freakouts looked like diddly-squat. If I can help it, things are going to keep going sideways. The one thing I do support is that you're mad at the world, our economy, the culture in the area of the country you live in. Keep up the good work.

You: Off I go. No rest for the weary as they like to say. Tomorrow's a new day.

Hey look, the honey badger won the day! That predator did its worst and still didn't manage to make a dent in your resolve! #applause

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg&t=200s&ab_channel=czg123

 

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[HoneyBadger302]

I hope me saying "dude" didn't come across as wrong or weird to you.

Not at all - between the name I use (not legal, but I use it professionally and everywhere, just a 2-letter nickname), what I do for fun (aka racing motorcycles) and my personality, it not uncommon for folks to think I'm a dude until they meet me or it somehow comes up otherwise.

And in my circles, "dude" is something I use all the time LOL, and don't blink an eye at. Now, c*n! or others, and them may be fightin' words, but I'm actually pretty easy going and have been called some VERY colorful names by the occasional guy who's fragile ego got fractured when "a girl" beat him lol.

Didn't even pick up on the "dude" until someone else pointed it out LOL

 

[Antifragile]

Can a girl call another girl "dude"?

Dudette

You are welcome.

Haha.

 

[NewManRising]

This is a VENT - it is not dictating my actions. I just don't have anyone IRL who would "get it" that I know well enough to talk to.

[vent]
I'm worn out. I was only ever sold, told, and shown the script, and I bought into it not even realizing there was another way. The only people I saw who followed other paths successfully had rather different (note, better financial) starts in life. I was not exposed to people who actually did well on their own until MUCH later in life, and by then, I was so far behind the power curve it's embarrassing. I was too stupid to question those things, or too busy fighting the forced religious oppression (especially as a female, choosing to pursue work and college already meant I was breaking out of the mold since I was raised to believe - although I never did - that my only purpose for existing was to be a servant to a husband and because of the bits I was born with that was my only value on this planet).

Sob story aside, way too late in life I started to wake up to reality that 'working hard at my job' was NOT going to get me even remotely close to the life I want. This all led to my FTE, which had me starting my business and finally landing my first good client, and honestly the financial difference has been radical - BUT -

- at this point, I'm still working solo; I still have a day job since the business does NOT have reliable income; and even before this I was working my f/t job plus p/t job(s).

And I'm worn out. I'm tired. There's a dim prick of light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a LONG ways off right now. I'm not going into running a business for a love of creating something new - I'm doing it for financial and time freedom, both things the Script will never provide me - but I don't have a "passion" for starting a business, mostly just a passion to not be an employee or cog in someone else's wheel (if I was financially free, I would probably have a "passion" business or two, but that's very different than a business I need to support my life).

I'm not tech savvy (as in I don't know coding, I'm not going to go build some killer app or that sort of thing) - not an inventor or particularly prone to great ideas. Every time I think I might have happened upon a need, a quick search shows it's already out there and solved for people. I feel my business - or my idea for it - could fulfill a need, but growth is going to be painfully slow and very time consuming until there's more capital rolling in and a network starts to develop.

In the meantime, the day to day grind of juggling it all is wearing on me. When my current contract ends, if my finances are looking okay, I'm honestly tempted to take a break from pushing and applying on behalf of the business and just work my day job for a bit - just scared of losing the tiny bit of imperceptible momentum I have worked so hard for.

No matter what, right NOW - I'm tired. I'm worn out. I'm exhausted. My ADHD keeps freaking out and putting me into shut down mode when things start to go even a little sideways. I'm mad at the world, our economy, the culture in the area of the country I live in....ugh.
[/vent]

Off I go. No rest for the weary as they like to say. Tomorrow's a new day.

You sound just like me. I am experiencing everything you are RIGHT NOW. And interestingly, my past experiences are very similar to yours.

I too wanted to get off the grind and have a life of freedom. I wasn't born with any advantages, and on top of it, I had/have a shitty family.

I got a little success when I moved away and I got a degree too (got me out of my mindset bubble). But this never panned out because I learned my inherent qualities did not make me a good employee. People don't want someone who is bright and will outshine them, but if you appear too stupid, they think you don't qualify for the job.

There are other reasons too but I won't point them out. This made me give up on jobs and being an employee. I also couldn't stand the people I was working around. All kinds of backstabbing, jealous, low quality, lazy, ignorant, people.

I started the freelance hustle with copywriting and I did OK. But I got burned out and I was also distracted from my demanding family. But I did learn that I could make money for myself, talk to people, have people praise the work I did, and so on.

I had a few years of major disruptions and life changes in my life following this. I ended up moving back to Los Angeles (not that I wanted to). Within 2 months I was doing contract IT work. I knew absolutely zero about installing, troubleshooting, and other technical aspects of the work. I learned it all hands-on and through observation.

The whole field is very competitive and male-dominated (there is a power element to it). But despite this I pushed through and was pretty successful due to my perseverance, qualities, smartness, and my unwillingness to be intimidated and bullied.


I was making pretty good money, especially for Los Angeles. I even began to pick up big jobs for big projects and was working with some big brands like Chanel, Loro Piana, major banks, investment firms (Merrell, and others), law offices, medical and dental offices, and so on.

I had some people fly me places, pay my hotel (nice hotels), food was covered, and I was getting fat payments.

I literally had enough knowledge, skills, and a network to start my own business. But in 2023, my past caught up to me again. My family and crappy friends found ways to stress me out, sabotage me, zap my energy, etc.

Plus, I had a few bad experiences on some jobs where people tried to sabotage and intimidate me (had a guy pull scissors on me and act like he was going to stab me).

It made me start to apply myself less, feel like I should try something else, and I was just burned out with all the driving, work, dealing with difficult people, etc.

I lost all my progress. The only thing I've retained is my experience and skills. But for months I have been enraged, impatient, stressed, no drive, no desire for a business or freedom. It feels like I have no ideas and I feel like I may not ever find the financial success to to keep me ahead of being broke.

Most of my life I never made very much, literal surviving. I've spent my entire adult life alone with no family. I was pushed away.

I am 43 years old, about to be 44 years old in April. I am growing kind of bitter and extremely angry how, despite the work I've done on myself and the work I have put out there (then having it crumble), I can't seem to get anywhere. I am even beginning to think it may not happen for me or it is too late.

But I refuse to just wither away and be defeated. The alternative would be miserable. I have no job now, but I do take some small contract jobs. But I no longer go the distances I used to, or no longer take on big jobs. There are parts of Los Angeles I also will not go to due to experiences (racism).

My solution right now is to move to another state and start fresh. I know once I am focused and there is no stress or distractions I can quickly get something going. I can't tell you how many people have said great things about me and my work, I've had people approach me often and just start talking to me, and so forth. I have that quality that makes people gravitate toward me, and they quickly learn that I have value, and not only that, I am adaptable and smart.

However, I need to feel good about myself, feel secure, and have no negative energy around me (mainly my family and lingering friends). I am determined to cut them all out for good. They will have to figure everything out on their own.

A change of environment, a change of your social circle, and absorbing positive readings, along with physical and mental health work might be in order for you.

Literally, let it all collapse and start over. Quit trying to hang onto these past successes or an ego you've created. It feels like you're a loser, but I am now learning, it is necessary in order to move onto a successful future. You will always retain your experiences and skills.

Once your mind is clear and you are operating on a healthier mindset, the ideas and opportunities will appear (even if in your head you don't think so). But you need to come up with a good plan and act swiftly and decisively. The quicker the better so you can get over this hump.

Anyway, good luck.

 

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