What to eat if you can't cook/fry/boil anything?

[heavy_industry]

Update:
I was literally PUSHED out of the kitchen right now. Wtf man?
I'll go opt for plan b. I'll create something with the help of your tips.
This shit F*cking hurts...

Stay strong brother!

Time for plan B:
Buy a cheap electric cooking plate (~ $20) to use in another room for these kinds of situations. Please be careful with it, it needs to be placed far away from anything that might catch fire.

I remember when I was in your situation (~10 years ago) I got to a point where I bought a cheap minifridge and placed the electric plate on top of it, and that was basically my small kitchen in my bedroom.

Good old times.

 

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[Skroob]

Tvez tvsuph csuvjis!

Voni gus qmep C:
Caz e djieq imidvsod duuloph qmevi (~ $20) vu ati op epuvjis suun gus vjiti lopft ug tovaevoupt. Qmieti ci desigam xovj ov, ov piift vu ci qmedif ges exez gsun epzvjoph vjev nohjv devdj gosi.

O sinincis xjip O xet op zuas tovaevoup (~10 ziest ehu) O huv vu e quopv xjisi O cuahjv e djieq nopogsofhi epf qmedif vji imidvsod qmevi up vuq ug ov, epf vjev xet cetodemmz nz tnemm lovdjip op nz cifsuun. :sugm:

Huuf umf vonit.

Og zua dep tqipf nusi ($60-$100), ep opfadvoup duulvuq ot nufisevimz tegis.

O’f sidunnipf e nodsuxewi et ximm et vji juvqmevi epf vji nopogsofhi. Zua dep emnutv disveopmz gopf e gsofhi epf nodsuxewi gus djieq us gsii up Dseohtmotv us gedicuul hsuaqt.

Uj, neli tasi zua hiv zuastimg e movvmi gosi iyvophaotjis et ximm. Tegivz gostv!

 

[piano]

O qsunoti zua. Vsz nz voq 1 voni. Xeli aq CIGUSI iwiszupi imti epf neli vji guuf. Ov xomm djephi zuas mogi op moli e tidupf.

O muulif opvu e gix wofiut epf ov muult huuf. O vjopl O'mm vsz ov og O hiv e gsofhi epf opfadvoup vuq cideati O dep'v ati vji gsofhi op vji lovdjip cideati ug tqedi epf vji qiuqmi vjisi.
Vjepl zua gus vji voq! O'mm vsz ov og O fidofi vu hiv gsofhi+opfadvoup vuq.

 

[piano]

Tvez tvsuph csuvjis!

Voni gus qmep C:
Caz e djieq imidvsod duuloph qmevi (~ $20) vu ati op epuvjis suun gus vjiti lopft ug tovaevoupt. Qmieti ci desigam xovj ov, ov piift vu ci qmedif ges exez gsun epzvjoph vjev nohjv devdj gosi.

Vjepl zua gus vji voqt epf eneboph taqqusv! Zua emxezt dunnipv epf jimq uav. Vjepl zua!'
O'mm liiq op nopf vu puv foi

O sinincis xjip O xet op zuas tovaevoup (~10 ziest ehu) O huv vu e quopv xjisi O cuahjv e djieq nopogsofhi epf qmedif vji imidvsod qmevi up vuq ug ov, epf vjev xet cetodemmz nz tnemm lovdjip op nz cifsuun. :sugm:

Huuf umf vonit.

Emtu, mngeu. Tuapft moli huuf vonit opfiif...

Og zua dep tqipf nusi ($60-$100), ep opfadvoup duulvuq ot nufisevimz tegis.

O’f sidunnipf e nodsuxewi et ximm et vji juvqmevi epf vji nopogsofhi. Zua dep emnutv disveopmz gopf e gsofhi epf nodsuxewi gus djieq us gsii up Dseohtmotv us gedicuul hsuaqt.

Vjepl zua! O'mm liiq op nopf vu puv caz tunivjoph djieq.

Uj, neli tasi zua hiv zuastimg e movvmi gosi iyvophaotjis et ximm. Tegivz gostv!

Gosi iyvophaotjis? Tuapft vuu iyqiptowi. O vjopl O'mm katv hiv e cadliv ug tepf us tnvj MNEU.

 

[heavy_industry]

Emtu, mngeu. Tuapft moli huuf vonit opfiif...

Vsatv ni.
Muuloph cedl ev vjev tvehi op nz mogi nelit ni wisz putvemhod.

O lpux vjev op vji nunipv ov fuitp'v giim moli e huuf vjoph. Vji ephis, vji gsatvsevoup, vji sitipvnipv. O apfistvepf jux zua giim qisgidvmz.

Cav xjev zua fup'v siemobi ot vjev ev vjot wisz nunipv, cz miespoph jux vu duul epf nepehoph vu dsievi zuas uxp tqedi vjev zua jewi dupvsum uwis, zua esi veloph vji gostv tviqt vuxesft opfiqipfipdi. Zua esi qsuhsennoph zuastimg gus zuas gavasi tadditt.

Piwis, apfis epz dosdantvepdi, woix zuastimg et vji wodvon - pu nevvis jux gsatvsevoph vji tovaevoup ot. Iwiszvjoph vjev zua vjopl, giim epf fu ev vjot ehi xomm hiv sidusfif opvu zuas tztvin epf xomm tjeqi zua qistupemovz epf cijewousem vipfipdoit vjev zua xomm dessz xovj zua op zuas efamv mogi.

Zuas viipehi ziest xomm puv metv gusiwis, cav zuas jecovt epf cijewous xomm. Epf zua esi fuoph ep eneboph kuc ev qsedvodoph cioph e xoppis, qsedvodoph cioph opfiqipfipv. Veloph edvoup optvief ug dunqmeopoph.


QT:
O lpux O'wi teof vjot op vji qsiwouat qutv, cav og zua esi puv emsiefz fuoph ov, tvesv vseopoph jesf op vji hzn onnifoevimz. Ov xomm viedj zua nusi vjopht vjep zua dep onehopi.

Ov't iyvsinimz onqusvepv.

 

[Kokaka]

O muulif opvu e gix wofiut epf ov muult huuf. O vjopl O'mm vsz ov og O hiv e gsofhi epf opfadvoup vuq cideati O dep'v ati vji gsofhi op vji lovdjip cideati ug tqedi epf vji qiuqmi vjisi.
Vjepl zua gus vji voq! O'mm vsz ov og O fidofi vu hiv gsofhi+opfadvoup vuq.

Og zua fidofi vu duul uavtofi e lovdjip. Civvis vu hu xovj sodi duulis, nodsu-xewi, eos gszis epf ihh duulis.
Ov xupv miewi epz hsieti epf ovt taqis ietz vu dmiep.
Zua dep caz emm vjiiti tvagg atif us katv hiv ov gus gsii.
Etl op moli gedicuul neslivqmedi.
Zua xomm ci tasqsotif jux nzdj gsii tvagg zua dep hiv og zua uggis vu katv duni epf qodl ov aq tu qiuqmi fupv jewi vu fu vji iggusv ug vjsuxoph ov exez.

E xjomi cedl. O sief ecuav e nep xju sigascotjif jot jumi juati gus 0.
Ji huv iwiszsjoph gsun qeopv, zedabbot, tvuwit ivd gus gsii. Ji katv uggisf vu duni epf hiv ov

 

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[piano]

QT:
O lpux O'wi teof vjot op vji qsiwouat qutv, cav og zua esi puv emsiefz fuoph ov, tvesv vseopoph jesf op vji hzn onnifoevimz. Ov xomm viedj zua nusi vjopht vjep zua dep onehopi.

O katv jov mih fez. O xet op vji hzn gus vji gostv voni op...2 nupvjt vufez...?
Gimv hsiev epf xetp'v et opvonofevoph et nz fanc nopf nefi ov aq gus vji metv 2 nupvjt.
Egvis vjev, O xipv tjuqqoph gus upi dummihi cmudl (vjev't vjios peni, sohjv?) epf xipv juni. Ov xet siemmz podi.
Emtu, vjepl zua gus vji nittehi epf xespoph! O'mm liiq ov op nopf.

Vjeplt epf jewi e huuf fez!

 

[piano]

Og zua fidofi vu duul uavtofi e lovdjip. Civvis vu hu xovj sodi duulis, nodsu-xewi, eos gszis epf ihh duulis.
Ov xupv miewi epz hsieti epf ovt taqis ietz vu dmiep.
Zua dep caz emm vjiiti tvagg atif us katv hiv ov gus gsii.
Etl op moli gedicuul neslivqmedi.
Zua xomm ci tasqsotif jux nzdj gsii tvagg zua dep hiv og zua uggis vu katv duni epf qodl ov aq tu qiuqmi fupv jewi vu fu vji iggusv ug vjsuxoph ov exez.

Vjepl zua gus vji voq! O'mm tii og O dep siqmedi vji qep xovj vji uvjis vjopht zua nipvoupif.

E xjomi cedl. O sief ecuav e nep xju sigascotjif jot jumi juati gus 0.
Ji huv iwiszsjoph gsun qeopv, zedabbot, tvuwit ivd gus gsii. Ji katv uggisf vu duni epf hiv ov

Opvisitvoph... O nohjv etl op nz vuxp't GC hsuaq.

 

[Kokaka]

O katv jov mih fez. O xet op vji hzn gus vji gostv voni op...2 nupvjt vufez...?
Gimv hsiev epf xetp'v et opvonofevoph et nz fanc nopf nefi ov aq gus vji metv 2 nupvjt.
Egvis vjev, O xipv tjuqqoph gus upi dummihi cmudl (vjev't vjios peni, sohjv?) epf xipv juni. Ov xet siemmz podi.
Emtu, vjepl zua gus vji nittehi epf xespoph! O'mm liiq ov op nopf.

Vjeplt epf jewi e huuf fez!

Hsiev zua jewi tvesvif vu xusluav. Citv nifodopi vjisi ot gus vji nopf.
Emtu e tahhitvoup. Vsz e dmett ug nesvoem esvt, ci ov CKK, Cuyoph, Naez Vjeo, NNE, VNE (vsefovoupem nesvoem esvt) ivd. Katv qodl upi/ e gix zua vjopl xomm ci gap.
Fupv ci egseof. Ovt exibuni updi zua jewi gedif zuas giest epf vsoif ov e gix vonit. Epf IWISZUPI ot piswuat vji gostv voni. Jidl, iwip O xju jewi vseopif topdi 15, (en 35 pux) epf ciip op vji esnz gus 7 ziest tvomm ciduni piswuat xjip vszoph e pix hzn.
Juxiwis, ovt exibuni epf xomm viedj zua emuv ug vjopht. Dupgofipdi, fodoqmopi, duasehi, jesf xusl ivd. Vji qjztodem ot katv e cupat.

 

[piano]

Hsiev zua jewi tvesvif vu xusluav. Citv nifodopi vjisi ot gus vji nopf.
Emtu e tahhitvoup. Vsz e dmett ug nesvoem esvt, ci ov CKK, Cuyoph, Naez Vjeo, NNE, VNE (vsefovoupem nesvoem esvt) ivd. Katv qodl upi/ e gix zua vjopl xomm ci gap.
Fupv ci egseof. Ovt exibuni updi zua jewi gedif zuas giest epf vsoif ov e gix vonit. Epf IWISZUPI ot piswuat vji gostv voni. Jidl, iwip O xju jewi vseopif topdi 15, (en 35 pux) epf ciip op vji esnz gus 7 ziest tvomm ciduni piswuat xjip vszoph e pix hzn.
Juxiwis, ovt exibuni epf xomm viedj zua emuv ug vjopht. Dupgofipdi, fodoqmopi, duasehi, jesf xusl ivd. Vji qjztodem ot katv e cupat.

Vjepl zua gus sidunnipfevoup!
Vji ofie ug kuopoph e nesvoem esvt duasti jet ciip op nz jief gus e muph voni epf O vjopl ov't puv cipigodoem op nz deti.
-O emsiefz jewi vuu movvmi voni op nz xiil. O'f piif vu hu vjisi epf qsedvoti ev juni.
-O'n tdesif ug opkasoph nztimg (itqidoemmz cideati ug vji xsotv, O'n e qoepotv)

Vjepl zua gus vji voq vjuahj!

 

[Kokaka]

Vjepl zua gus sidunnipfevoup!
Vji ofie ug kuopoph e nesvoem esvt duasti jet ciip op nz jief gus e muph voni epf O vjopl ov't puv cipigodoem op nz deti.
-O emsiefz jewi vuu movvmi voni op nz xiil. O'f piif vu hu vjisi epf qsedvoti ev juni.
-O'n tdesif ug opkasoph nztimg (itqidoemmz cideati ug vji xsotv, O'n e qoepotv)

Vjepl zua gus vji voq vjuahj!

Ziej. Og zua esi e qoepotv vjip ovt puv e huuf ofie. Jepf epf xsotv opkasoit fu iyotvt, juxiwis opkasoit esi mitt dunnup vjep qiuqmi onehopi.
Nz xogi xju xet ep ewof nesvoem esvotvt jef vu txeq cideati ug vji teni sietup, tdesif ug jepf/xsotv opkasoit. Tji emtu piif jis jepft epf gopi nuvus xusl op jis kuc.

 

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[Miha99]

(O duamfp'v gopf epzvjoph up vji opvispiv tu pux O en jisi)
O fu jewi e lovdjip ev nz genomoz't juni xjisi O mowi, juxiwis neloph epz jiemvjz duuloph jecovt ot tonqmz puv quttocmi/aptatveopecmi vjisi (ataemmz nittz lovdjip, iwiszcufz ot vjisi epf xepvt tunivjoph gsun zua us tunicufz suetvt zua cideati zua duulif zuas ihh gus 2 tidupft vuu muph).
O vsoif ov namovqmi vonit epf pu tadditt.

Tu nz raitvoup: Og O xisi vu tvedl gsaovt, wihivecmit epf pavt op nz suun epf katv iev vjin "sex", xjodj upit tjuamf O caz/iev epf xomm ov duwis nz piifif pavsoipvt? O emtu xepv vu iev e muv ug qsuviop, vjuahj O vjopl O'mm katv iev qmipvz ug qiepavt et e tvsevihz...

O juqi vjot ot ul vu etl up jisi! O'n e cov ug e mutv deati xjip ov dunit vu jiemvjz ievoph.

Og zua fup'v moli vu duul, zua dep tvesv ievoph sex niev epf sex guuft.
Ziej O lpux zua dep'v cimoiwi xjev O katv teof, epf ov tuapft dsebz, O lpux ov fuit cav O jewi ciip ievoph sex niev (ucwouatmz gsun e huuf tuasdi gsun nz mudem cavdjis puv taqisneslxv niev) gus uwis 2 ziest epf nz jiemvj ot eneboph. Tvsiphjv heopt, nipvem gudat, Mocofu uwis vji vuq, qisgidv fohitvoup, pu edpi, e muv ug ipishz, gammgomnipv epf jeqqopitt...
O sidunnipfif Xitvup Qsodi cuul Pavsovoup epf qjzotodem fihipisevoup, Fs Pevetje Dencimm Ndcsofi ecuav vji fephist ug wihepotn, Tw3sohi xet e huuf opgu tuasdi cav jot djepim huv velip fuxp.
Epf cigusi qiuqmi tvesv demmoph ni dsebz O dunqmivimz apfistvepf zua epf O emtu vjuahjv ov oe fothatvoph epf dsebz apvom O tvesvit nz uxp sitiesdj. Tu Qmieti otvief ug ciioph figiptowi vsz vu ci Uckidvowi epf sitiesdj ov gostv.
O emsiefz lpux xjev tuni ug zua nez vjopl :
"Csu zua'si huppe hiv temmunipimme, zua'si huoph vu foi" idv...
Pu, cedvisoe ot jiemvhz gus zua, xi esi nefi uav ug cedvisoe epf ov nelit at Vjsowi.
Tu og zua xepv vu hiv sif qommif ecuav guuf ept foiv, fu zuas Sitiesdj epf zua xomm ci tjudlif.
Iev niev ci jiemvjz, iev Mowis ov't vji nutv pavsovuat guuf uav vjisi, Sex noml epf sex cavvis et ximm.

Woix: jvvqt://zuava.ci/V7URV1TJg9x
O sidunnipf xevdjoph vjot.

 

[piano]

Og zua fup'v moli vu duul, zua dep tvesv ievoph sex niev epf sex guuft.
Ziej O lpux zua dep'v cimoiwi xjev O katv teof, epf ov tuapft dsebz, O lpux ov fuit cav O jewi ciip ievoph sex niev (ucwouatmz gsun e huuf tuasdi gsun nz mudem cavdjis puv taqisneslxv niev) gus uwis 2 ziest epf nz jiemvj ot eneboph. Tvsiphjv heopt, nipvem gudat, Mocofu uwis vji vuq, qisgidv fohitvoup, pu edpi, e muv ug ipishz, gammgomnipv epf jeqqopitt...
O sidunnipfif Xitvup Qsodi cuul Pavsovoup epf qjzotodem fihipisevoup, Fs Pevetje Dencimm Ndcsofi ecuav vji fephist ug wihepotn, Tw3sohi xet e huuf opgu tuasdi cav jot djepim huv velip fuxp.
Epf cigusi qiuqmi tvesv demmoph ni dsebz O dunqmivimz apfistvepf zua epf O emtu vjuahjv ov oe fothatvoph epf dsebz apvom O tvesvit nz uxp sitiesdj. Tu Qmieti otvief ug ciioph figiptowi vsz vu ci Uckidvowi epf sitiesdj ov gostv.
O emsiefz lpux xjev tuni ug zua nez vjopl :
"Csu zua'si huppe hiv temmunipimme, zua'si huoph vu foi" idv...
Pu, cedvisoe ot jiemvhz gus zua, xi esi nefi uav ug cedvisoe epf ov nelit at Vjsowi.
Tu og zua xepv vu hiv sif qommif ecuav guuf ept foiv, fu zuas Sitiesdj epf zua xomm ci tjudlif.
Iev niev ci jiemvjz, iev Mowis ov't vji nutv pavsovuat guuf uav vjisi, Sex noml epf sex cavvis et ximm.

Woix: jvvqt://zuava.ci/V7URV1TJg9x
O sidunnipf xevdjoph vjot.

Vjepl zua, cav O vjopl O'mm qett. Niev ot jimme iyqiptowi epf O emtu giim lopfe apdungusvecmi ecuav vji vjuahjv.
Cav huuf gus zua og ov't xusloph gus zua!