Recently, I've seen many people on this forum deeply stressed out. To the point where some members throw a tantrum, ignore all advice and decide to take the easy way out by leaving the forum.
In this post, I'm going to talk about ways in which you can relax yourself and prevent perhaps irrational decisions.
1: Sleep over it.
I often get deeply stressed out myself. How I feel about it, I will leave out. What's important is that no matter how much I suffer during the day or the lonely evening, I know that after I go to bed and wake up, I'll feel better.
This might seem like generic advice, and maybe it is, however I think that the basics often get overlooked, especially in a confused mental state.
To me, knowing that there is always a tomorrow, another day where I wake up refreshed, really helps me as I know that I can basically start anew.
If that doesn't apply to you though, here come other tips:
2: Talk to someone.
This might be hard for some. It is for me.
However, apart from real people, you also have this forum right here.
You can very well start a PM with a member here and ask if they can help you/listen to you. Although I'd recommend you to do that if you've already been on the forum for a little while (1-2 months maybe?). I can't really explain why exactly, however my gut feeling tells me that.
Besides that, many people start threads talking about their problems ("I live in 'bad' country x, help me!" "I'm a depressed loner with college debt" etc) and so can you if you look for guidance.
Although please first use the search function in the top right corner, as we usually get the same situations over and over and thus already have great advice instantly availlable.
3: Journaling and a few others.
If you really don't have anyone (which is probably not true, but let's assume it is for this example) you can do a few things of these:
-You can journal about your feelings. Just writing down what is happening and how you feel can be really, really good. As an alternative you can also draw something or make music.
-Have an imaginary chat. You can take a piece of paper or just do it in your head. But basically you think of a dialogue on the spot with a person of your liking. It doesn't even have to be a real person or can be one you yet have to meet.
For example the future mother of your children (if that applies to you) might encourage you. Telling you sweet things.
You might think to yourself that all advice and talk you'll get will be bad as you can't help yourself right now, so why should a person emulated by your brain produce anything good?
I don't know how or why, but in my case when I think of someone or think in the 3rd person, great thoughts often come to me. For example I can give 200+ suggestions to someone who asks me something but I sometimes struggle to do that for myself.
-Exercise or beat something up. You might be scared right now, you might be sad right now, might be frustrated or many others! Why don't you go on a run then? Why don't you go to the forest and knock dead branches and trees down or do as many push ups as you can?
I recently was very angry at myself and extremely frustrated so I ran to one end of my town to the other and back (average speed was likely 10km/h, so quite fast imo) and ran for almost an hour.
And I actually combined the run with the imaginary chat.
I had done a person wrong in my mind and so I imagined that person how they saw me suffering, laughing at me and having a great time at my expense. Around 30 minutes in and I just wanted to take the bus already but I remembered them and just kept going although I wanted to literally F*cking throw up on the spot.
But when I came home, drenched in sweat and physical distress, I felt so happy and relieved. That person wasn't angry at me anymore and we made quits or however that saying goes.
4: Do something!
Chances are, you've been sitting on your bum for a long time and felt sad or whatever you're perhaps feeling right now.
Don't you think distracting yourself is going to help? You know, actually doing something that exists in the real, physical world?
By doing "something" I mean simple tasks. It doesn't even have to be something big.
It can be to just clean your room for 3 minutes and if you (feel) like it (!) go for longer.
Or even smaller things like just opening your window!
Trust me, it'll get better 99% of the time.
5: Watch a great comedy.
When I've been sad, I sometimes started watching comedy shows and often I'd found myself ashamed at how well it worked.
Perhaps you're thinking right now that it won't work, but so did I and I got massively humbled (or chances are you just don't know any good comedies that you really like).
6: Listen to music that resonates with you.
If you're angry, go listen to the DOOM Soundtrack and perhaps do pushups.
If you're stressed, perhaps listen to lofi or something like that.
And if you're sad I'd recommend some great classical music:
Maurice Ravel: Piano Concerto in G, 2nd Movement 'Adagio Assai', Pavane pour une infante defunte.
Chopin: Prelude op. 28. no. 4, Nocturne Op 27 No 2, Ballade 1 and 4, Etude Op 10 No 6
7: Reevaluate and reprioritise your life.
There were and perhaps still are times where I take on too many things at once.
After all, I'm doing composing, window cleaning/business, piano practise, school, gym and many more and so for me it gets very very easy to get overwhelmed.
Perhaps you have too much on your shoulders? Or you do the wrong thing? Think about it perhaps.
8: Read up on some books.
This isn't always a good idea. However I think that sometimes they really can be the answer.
The Stoic philosophy really helped me, especially in dealing with rejection when going door to door. For that I'd recommend the book "How to think like a roman emperor".
Perhaps a few people here have problems forming habits, and for that I have the book "Tiny Habits" by BJ Fogg. Amazing author, I just love him. His methods don't rely on willpower at all so the methods work on anybody. And Atomic Habits is also actually partly based on his research.
For me, I hadn't been able to fully form a very consistent routine that's based on the same habits, only a few.
However now I can definitely identify if habits of other people are going to work and why. It's also extremely helpful if you decide to create habits for others.
And those are the ones I can think of right now...
If anybody has suggestions or things that worked for himself, I might add it to this post!
And to anybody who's struggling right now; you can do it! Yes, it's suffering. Misery perhaps, however it will pass and in less than a hundred years, you'll finally rest for all eternity anyways.
So perhaps be grateful for your suffering. Because that means that you live.
In this post, I'm going to talk about ways in which you can relax yourself and prevent perhaps irrational decisions.
1: Sleep over it.
I often get deeply stressed out myself. How I feel about it, I will leave out. What's important is that no matter how much I suffer during the day or the lonely evening, I know that after I go to bed and wake up, I'll feel better.
This might seem like generic advice, and maybe it is, however I think that the basics often get overlooked, especially in a confused mental state.
To me, knowing that there is always a tomorrow, another day where I wake up refreshed, really helps me as I know that I can basically start anew.
If that doesn't apply to you though, here come other tips:
2: Talk to someone.
This might be hard for some. It is for me.
However, apart from real people, you also have this forum right here.
You can very well start a PM with a member here and ask if they can help you/listen to you. Although I'd recommend you to do that if you've already been on the forum for a little while (1-2 months maybe?). I can't really explain why exactly, however my gut feeling tells me that.
Besides that, many people start threads talking about their problems ("I live in 'bad' country x, help me!" "I'm a depressed loner with college debt" etc) and so can you if you look for guidance.
Although please first use the search function in the top right corner, as we usually get the same situations over and over and thus already have great advice instantly availlable.
3: Journaling and a few others.
If you really don't have anyone (which is probably not true, but let's assume it is for this example) you can do a few things of these:
-You can journal about your feelings. Just writing down what is happening and how you feel can be really, really good. As an alternative you can also draw something or make music.
-Have an imaginary chat. You can take a piece of paper or just do it in your head. But basically you think of a dialogue on the spot with a person of your liking. It doesn't even have to be a real person or can be one you yet have to meet.
For example the future mother of your children (if that applies to you) might encourage you. Telling you sweet things.
You might think to yourself that all advice and talk you'll get will be bad as you can't help yourself right now, so why should a person emulated by your brain produce anything good?
I don't know how or why, but in my case when I think of someone or think in the 3rd person, great thoughts often come to me. For example I can give 200+ suggestions to someone who asks me something but I sometimes struggle to do that for myself.
-Exercise or beat something up. You might be scared right now, you might be sad right now, might be frustrated or many others! Why don't you go on a run then? Why don't you go to the forest and knock dead branches and trees down or do as many push ups as you can?
I recently was very angry at myself and extremely frustrated so I ran to one end of my town to the other and back (average speed was likely 10km/h, so quite fast imo) and ran for almost an hour.
And I actually combined the run with the imaginary chat.
I had done a person wrong in my mind and so I imagined that person how they saw me suffering, laughing at me and having a great time at my expense. Around 30 minutes in and I just wanted to take the bus already but I remembered them and just kept going although I wanted to literally F*cking throw up on the spot.
But when I came home, drenched in sweat and physical distress, I felt so happy and relieved. That person wasn't angry at me anymore and we made quits or however that saying goes.
4: Do something!
Chances are, you've been sitting on your bum for a long time and felt sad or whatever you're perhaps feeling right now.
Don't you think distracting yourself is going to help? You know, actually doing something that exists in the real, physical world?
By doing "something" I mean simple tasks. It doesn't even have to be something big.
It can be to just clean your room for 3 minutes and if you (feel) like it (!) go for longer.
Or even smaller things like just opening your window!
Trust me, it'll get better 99% of the time.
5: Watch a great comedy.
When I've been sad, I sometimes started watching comedy shows and often I'd found myself ashamed at how well it worked.
Perhaps you're thinking right now that it won't work, but so did I and I got massively humbled (or chances are you just don't know any good comedies that you really like).
6: Listen to music that resonates with you.
If you're angry, go listen to the DOOM Soundtrack and perhaps do pushups.
If you're stressed, perhaps listen to lofi or something like that.
And if you're sad I'd recommend some great classical music:
Maurice Ravel: Piano Concerto in G, 2nd Movement 'Adagio Assai', Pavane pour une infante defunte.
Chopin: Prelude op. 28. no. 4, Nocturne Op 27 No 2, Ballade 1 and 4, Etude Op 10 No 6
7: Reevaluate and reprioritise your life.
There were and perhaps still are times where I take on too many things at once.
After all, I'm doing composing, window cleaning/business, piano practise, school, gym and many more and so for me it gets very very easy to get overwhelmed.
Perhaps you have too much on your shoulders? Or you do the wrong thing? Think about it perhaps.
8: Read up on some books.
This isn't always a good idea. However I think that sometimes they really can be the answer.
The Stoic philosophy really helped me, especially in dealing with rejection when going door to door. For that I'd recommend the book "How to think like a roman emperor".
Perhaps a few people here have problems forming habits, and for that I have the book "Tiny Habits" by BJ Fogg. Amazing author, I just love him. His methods don't rely on willpower at all so the methods work on anybody. And Atomic Habits is also actually partly based on his research.
For me, I hadn't been able to fully form a very consistent routine that's based on the same habits, only a few.
However now I can definitely identify if habits of other people are going to work and why. It's also extremely helpful if you decide to create habits for others.
And those are the ones I can think of right now...
If anybody has suggestions or things that worked for himself, I might add it to this post!
And to anybody who's struggling right now; you can do it! Yes, it's suffering. Misery perhaps, however it will pass and in less than a hundred years, you'll finally rest for all eternity anyways.
So perhaps be grateful for your suffering. Because that means that you live.
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