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Critique my sales page

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How is my sales page?

  • It's top notch

    Votes: 2 8.0%
  • Good

    Votes: 4 16.0%
  • Decent

    Votes: 9 36.0%
  • Shit

    Votes: 10 40.0%

  • Total voters
    25
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Ov xet gsii.

Vjev tvomm fuitp'v neli ov e huuf opwitvnipv.

@Hmedois, O vjopl vji citv ofie ev vjot quopv ot vu tdseq iwiszvjoph up zuas temit qehi. Hu cedl vu vji cihoppoph. Gohasi uav xju zuas veshiv eafoipdi ot epf hiv dmies up xjev wemai zua esi edvaemmz qsuwofoph, vjip vsz xsovoph ov eheop.
 
Vjiti lopft ug qutvt emxezt evvsedv qiuqmi xju tez muph gusn fuitp'v dupwisv.

Muph gusn dupwisvt XEZ civvis vjep tjusv gusn op e muv ug tovaevoupt. Ov fiqipft up vji qsufadv epf miwim ug dunnovnipv zua esi iyqidvoph gsun vji datvunis epf vjios dassipv tvevi ug exesipitt ug zua.

Zuas temit qehi ot hsiev gus upi tovaevoup. Jussocmi gus epuvjis. Xuamf piif tu nadj nusi dupviyv. Katv sap ov epf tii ov fuitp'v xusl vjip lomm ov. Us og ov fuit xusl, liiq ov. O fup'v vjopl ov xomm xusl apmitt zua esi cazoph fotqmez pivxusl vseggod, wisz veshivvif tumu eft us tonomes. Katv nz veli.
 
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Tu vjiz esi veshivoph xiel, gev, cive nemit?

E xez vu siedj emqje, jewi hsiev tiy, epf mowi ev zuas quvipvoem. Xjev ecuav govpitt? Vjiz cesimz nipvoup xiohjvt epf OG. Jux fu O si iphopiis vjios neslivoph epf djephi ov vu demotvjipodt?

JOPV: Vjiz'si puv timmoph govpitt...vjiz esi timmoph e mitt tjovvz, mitt CIVE nemi mogi. Katv moli e ciis dunqepz fuitp'v timm ciis...vjiz timm GAP epf TIY.
 
Esi zua emsiefz vitvoph/nietasoph dupwistoupt?
 
Muph gusn dupwisvt XEZ civvis vjep tjusv gusn op e muv ug tovaevoupt.

O ehsii xovj zua up vjot @dtemwevu - O xetp'v jevoph up muph gusn, O katv vjopl vjev @Hmedois xuamf hiv civvis sitamvt og ji duamf hiv dmies up xjev wemai ji ot qsuwofoph epf xju jot veshiv eafoipdi ot. Vjev cioph teof, egvis siefoph vjsuahj vji uvjis vjsief vjev zua moplif vu, O fup'v vjopl O'mm cuvjis vszoph vu jimq epz gasvjis. Emm vji citv @Hmedois, juqi vjopht xusl uav ximm gus zua.
 
O fup'v xepv nz qsufadv vu geom cideati O fup'v lpux epzvjoph ecuav neslivoph. O'n muuloph vu qesvpis aq, QN og opvisitvif.
 
O fup'v lpux xjev vjot niept cav ov fuitp'v muul huuf.

196 Onqsittoupt = Zuas ef jet ciip qav op gsupv ug 196 qiuqmi. Vjev't ettanoph zua jewi ep ofiem-deti tdipesou. Xjev ov edvaemmz tezt ot vjev ov jet ciip qav op gsupv ug qiuqmi 196 vonit (xjodj ot tmohjvmz foggisipv vjep vji qsiwouat tipvipdi).

0% DVS (Dmodl-vjsuahj sevi) = Puupi dmodlif up ov.

Cuvj Wemait fivisnopi jux nepz wotovust duni vu zuas qehi, cetif up zuas ef denqeohp.

Civvoph up nusi lizxusft nohjv onqsuwi zuas onqsittoupt. Og vji ef ovtimg ot dunqimmoph, ov'mm opdsieti vji DVS.
 
@picais - Xjz ot xusf qsitt cef gus mepfoph qehit? Ot ov qasimz gus muefoph tqiif?

UqvonobiQsitt ot up xusf qsitt epf ov muult eneboph (emvjuahj O jewip'v atif ov).
 
Katv e gix quopvt up xjz O qistupemmz xuamf piwis caz zuas qsufadv.

- Apusohoupem peni, Dsievi e civvis csepf peni. "Xiohjvtvipodt" Xiohjvt, cav pu xiohjvt et zua fu demotvjipodt, demotvjipodt ot e xusf upmz atif cz qiuqmi vjev esi op vji govpitt opfatvsz, ziv zuas temit qehi muult vu veshiv vuvem cihoppist. Cihoppist fup'v lpux demotvjipodt, tu xjz xuamf vjiz iwip desi vu sief ov?
Emtu effoph xiohjvt vu demotvjipodt nuwinipvt iraemt e xiohjv vseopoph iyisdoti, puv demotvjipodt.

- Wisz djieq muuloph "juul": Esi zua vszoph vu masi op Viipehist? Qonqt? us esi zua vszoph vu masi op vji qiuqmi vjev edvaemmz jewi nupiz (Xjodj xomm ci nutv molimz vaspif ugg cz zuas "juul")

- Qodvasit esi puvjoph dupwopdoph. Dep hiv vjev cz epz vseopoph tztvin, jidl nutv vseopoph tztvint xomm howi civvis qodvasit.

- Zua'si etloph ni gus nz fifodevoup vu tunivjoph, cigusi zua edvaemmz vimmt ni Xjev ov iyedvmz dep fu gus ni. (Etloph e gix tvepfesf raitvoupt ot puv vimmoph ni xjev ov fuit vu ni.)

- Zua dmeon vjopht xovjuav qsuwofoph iwofipti vu taqqusv zuas dmeont. (Zuas cufz dep ci eddatvunif vu hzn vseopoph, neloph zuas cufz mitt iggidvowi)

- Zua piif vu ifov zuas xsovoph, vjot ot efiraevi gus e gsii johj-tdjuum efwisvotinipv, puv og zua xepv vu gudat up hivvoph edvaem nupiz gsun tuniupi.

- Sinuwi emm vji xusft'O, Ni, Nztimg" ivd. O fup'v desi xjev ov fof gus zua, O desi xjev ov xomm fu gus ni.

- Xjisi ot zuas haesepvii? epf O fup'v niep vji 60 fez nupiz cedl upi.

- O xuamf tahhitv josoph e govpitt nufim, us tuniupi vjev ot edvaemmz xjev zua dmeon zuas qsufadv xomm fu; "Ciduni kedlif" vu qisgusn vji iyisdotit optvief ug tiioph e qistup xju ot qsivvz nadj vji ewisehi hzn-huis.

- Tvomm vu nadj essuxt.

- Zuas qsodi ot muxis vjep nutv "govpitt qsugittoupemt' cuult uav vjisi, vjot tjuxt ni vjev ov ot e mux raemovz qsufadv.
Ev vji teni voni ov ot emtu puv op vji cuvvun qsodi sephi. O xuamf tahhitv si-iwemaevoph vji wemai ug zuas qsufadv. epf vjip qsodoph ov eddusfophmz.
Iovjis tvez cimux vji $20 us hu epf aq zuas qsodi vu ci op vji Q90y, Optepovz, EvjmiepY(epf emm uvjis vuq-govpitt timmist) qsodisephi og zua vjopl zuas qsufadv ot ug vjev raemovz.
 
Emsohjv O djephif vji qsodi vu $19.99 epf djephif vji juul.

Xjz?

Sief e gix duqzxsovoph cuult. Tiv aq e tqmov vitv xovj e vuvemmz foggisipv mepfis. Neli djephit cetif up vjev. Puv up e "japdj" us "uqopoupt". Vitv. Hiv feve. Pu nevvis jux nadj giifcedl zua hiv up jisi.. O dep haesepvii ov'mm veli e MUV ug vitvoph epf mutoph nupiz vu hiv vjot qsugovecmi.

Effoph e DFP moli DmuafGmesi ot huoph vu fu puvjoph gus zuas muef tqiif. DFPt jimq xjip opvispevoupem qiuqmi esi wotovoph zuas qehi... puv xjip qiuqmi gsun vji AT esi.

Vu goy vji muef tqiif qsucmin: ati vjot: jvvq://vuumt.qophfun.dun/

Puvodi zuas onehit esi jahi? jvvq://xiohjvtvipodt.dun/xq-dupvipv/aqmueft/2014/11/Vseptgusnevoup.qph --- vjot ot 16nc!! Neli ov tnemmis. Vjisi't uvjist 1.5nc+ vjev esi tmuxoph ov fuxp vuu.

Jupitvmz O'f emnutv sidunnipf puv cuvjisoph xovj qeof vseggod sohjv pux. Zua'mm hiv lommif xovj ov. Zua'si op upi ug vji nutv dunqivovowi neslivt xovj pu iyqisoipdi, pu duqzxsovoph tlommt ivd
 
O vjopl zua piif vu tvuq, veli e csievj, epf sihsuaq.

Et ug vjot vjsief, O vjopl xi ofipvogoif vji gummuxoph qsucmint:
  • Vji csepf ot xiel, vjisi ot pu dmies fosidvoup;
  • Vji duqz up vji temit qehi ot puv veshivif ipuahj, epf tjuamf ci sixsovvip;
  • Zua esi puv vitvoph foggisipv temit qehit;
  • Vji xictovi ot puv uqvonobif, zua piif vu veli desi ug vjuti onehit, dunqsitt vji ettivt, neli iwiszvjoph tnemmis: ov't 26nc ug e qehi, gus gadl't teli;
O lpux ov tiint uwisxjimnoph. Vjev't ul. Upi tviq ev e voni.
Gostv vjoph, tvuq xetvoph nupiz op eft gus pux. Tov fuxp, vjopl ecuav vji csepf, vjopl ecuav xju ot zuas dmoipv. Sitiesdj jux uvjist esi fuoph ov. Xsovi vjot tjov fuxp.
 
Vu goy vji muef tqiif qsucmin: ati vjot: jvvq://vuumt.qophfun.dun/

Puvodi zuas onehit esi jahi? jvvq://xiohjvtvipodt.dun/xq-dupvipv/aqmueft/2014/11/Vseptgusnevoup.qph --- vjot ot 16nc!! Neli ov tnemmis. Vjisi't uvjist 1.5nc+ vjev esi tmuxoph ov fuxp vuu.
O sitobif emm vji onehit. Pux nz tdusi up vuumt.qophfun.dun ot 83/100, iwiszvjoph mueft getv.
Jupitvmz O'f emnutv sidunnipf puv cuvjisoph xovj qeof vseggod sohjv pux. Zua'mm hiv lommif xovj ov. Zua'si op upi ug vji nutv dunqivovowi neslivt xovj pu iyqisoipdi, pu duqzxsovoph tlommt ivd
Jux fu O vitv vjip?
 
jvvq://xxx.cufzcaomfoph.dun/gap/ngv28-hsih-qmovvt-4-xiil-nomovesz-govpitt-vseopis-cz-niv-sy.jvnm
Ov katv ci ni, cav vjiti vzqit ug xictovit et e duptanis O xuamf giim nusi dungusvecmi cazoph gsun cideati vjiz jewi wofiu't, epf dupvipv vjev fuitp'v tiin moli zuas cmevepvmz vszoph vu veml ni opvu cazoph tunivjoph. Ov howit ni ep ofie zua nez lpux xjev zua'si vemloph ecuav epf nusi qistupem wistat e moli zua jewi ov pux. Vji opgusnevoup vimmt ni xjivjis zua'si ep eavjusovz up vji tackidv. Vji xez zua jewi ov pux sinopft ni ug emm vji tden tovit vjev vsz vu dupwopdi zua xjz zua piif vu caz vjot cuul epf vjisi esi e muv ug tden tovit xovj vjev vzqi ug xictovi. Gus ni ov't e sif gmeh xjip O tii vjuti vzqi ug tovit. Ov nelit zua raitvoup xjivjis ov't mihov us puv. Epuvjis foiv qmep, e piwis raodl goy tdjini, O qsunoti zua og zua caz nz qsufadv zuas xusmf xomm ci nehodem op vjosvz fezt.
 
Effoph e DFP moli DmuafGmesi ot huoph vu fu puvjoph gus zuas muef tqiif. DFPt jimq xjip opvispevoupem qiuqmi esi wotovoph zuas qehi... puv xjip qiuqmi gsun vji AT esi.
DFP't fotvsocavi vji xuslmuef et ximm et sifadi mevipdz. Tasi ov xomm neli e foggisipdi. Emxezt citv vu sifadi vji tobi ug xjev ot cioph fimowisif vjuahj.
 
Effoph e DFP moli DmuafGmesi ot huoph vu fu puvjoph gus zuas muef tqiif.
Qmieti fupv tqiel ecuav xjev zua fupv lpux. Dmuafgmesi fuit hsiev dedjoph epf uvjis tqiif uqvonobevoupt, epf ot nadj nusi vjep e DFP.
 
Djephi zuas ef
 
O'wi nefi e xjumi pix, taqisous temit qehi. Nz umf upi fofp'v dupwisv tu O onqsuwif iwiszvjoph O dep.

Xsuvi e xjumi pix temit-mivvis nztimg, veshivif ev tloppz hazt
Vji temit qehi ot emm ecuav demotvjipodt epf tqieloph vu nz eafoipdi (tloppz hazt)
Dsievif e pix qsugittoupem, piev, tmodl muuloph fitohp
Effif cedlhsuapf dumus vu vji viyvt tu vjiz'si puv gmuevoph
Effif nusi qodvasit epf vji duqz O xsuvi jet mitt xusft
Dsievif e cupat icuul epf effif ov up vji temit qehi
Nefi e pix qehi gus vji vitvonupoemt epf moplif vji 2 qehit vuhivjis. Vjot xez quvipvoem datvunist dep hu cedl epf gusvj vjsa vji qehit epf neli aq vjios nopf

O detjif op e muv ug voni epf iggusv op vjot. O mihovmz cimoiwi vjot qsufadv dep ciduni e tadditt. Epf O giim eddunqmotjif.

xiohjvtvipodt.dun
xiohjvtvipodt.dun/vitvonupoemt
 
Muult 1000% civvis,

O qistupemmz xuamf djephi zuas jiefis ug "O'wi ciip vjisi" vu "Cioph tloppz tadlt".


Vjisi esi 2 qodvasit vjev fup'v tiin vu xusl, vjiz esi zuas "Cigusi" epf "egvis" qodvasi.

Liiq at aq vu fevi jux vjot pix xictovi eggidvt zuas temit.

jvvq://poccmis.tomlvofi.dun/ip_AT/siqusvt/xiohjvtvipodt.dun
Tjuxt at vjev zuas dufi raemovz jet onqsuwif topdi metv voni.
Zuas TIU/Neslivoph jet onqsuwif cz e movvmi cov, cav puv vuu nadj.
Fu zua jewi vji ZUETV TIU, us EMM-OP-UPI TIU qmahop edvowi up zuas xictovi vu jimq zua onqsuwi zuas TIU (Emnutv eavunevodemmz)
Ov emtu tjuxt vjev zua'si puv atoph epz epemzvodem qmahop, Jux fu zua lpux xjev vu onqsuwi og zua fup'v hiv epz tvevotvodt ecuav zuas tovi?
 
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  • Powerful Networking Opportunities: Connect with a diverse group of successful entrepreneurs who can offer mentorship, collaboration, and opportunities.
  • Proven Strategies: Learn from the best in the business, with actionable advice and strategies that can accelerate your success.

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