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Dealing with depression as an entrepreneur, figuring things out as I go

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I haven't really spoke to anyone on here about it or mentioned it to anyone but I need to hear some advice from fellow entrepreneurs as it's hard for others to relate, and I don't have a strong support network. I've dealt with persistent depression since I was young. I'm not sure why I have depression but for the most part I've felt sad for as long as I can remember.

I don't remember who (sorry!) but I resonated deeply with a comment here that entrepreneurs don't need to be happy, we get our fulfilment from success.

That said, if I think back to when I was in school and first got into entrepreneurship, my depression and discontentedness actually helped me keep going and be determined to succeed throughout my first business ventures/hustles! I was bullied a lot (unpopular nerdy girl!) but this was just another reason I had to achieve my goals.

I'd focus on the positives of my situation, that I had good skills, had an idea of how business worked, and that I had the stability of living with parents.

I'd get home in the afternoon and happily sit at my laptop for 6 hours and do a whole bunch of work. I'd try something if I thought it might make money and get me closer to my goal of moving out of my hometown, and more often than not I was actually successful! I'd simply set my mind to a goal and sit day-in-day-out at my laptop working through the required tasks.

It was pretty satisfying in my last year when my bullies wanted to know how I made money or if I had any tips for them :p

I finished school half way towards my goal and made £1800 a month from an hours work a day whilst in college. Despite often feeling depressed, I always sort of just knew what I was doing/had to do to get me to my goals.

From the age 15 to 20 when I was comfortable and doing well, I was the happiest and least depressed I'd ever been. It was easy to fill my time with work, and it was great that my work was fulfilling! The feeling of success was oh so satisfying.

After a couple more years in the digital marketing world, I achieved my goal and proudly bought my own home at 20! I think this is where my mindset changed, as I'd achieved my main goal and didn't set another major goal (I had no mentor or business/entrepreneur role models as I'd always done stuff individually, so I made a lot of rookie mistakes). I continued working on my business and did alright, until I lost it.

In January 2019, I experienced a traumatic event. An old friend once told me about something traumatic sometimes it takes your brain a while to make all those connections you once had. This is what I felt I spent most of 2019 doing, but I still don't feel as smart/talented/KNOWING as I was before.

A week later my car was totalled so I lost a lot of independence, something I had thoroughly enjoyed since achieving my goal of owning a home. I felt a loss of control but fought against those feelings and set a goal to have a car by July.

A couple of weeks later a relative died and my family, who I hadn't seen for a while, ignored me at the funeral. I didn't realise I was estranged so that broke my heart. The death, my loss of independence + business, and the traumatic event were too much.

I spent 3 months in a chronic stress response, and barely left the house. I considered ending it all but couldn't. I hoped every day I would die, but death never came, so I accepted that I have longer to live.

In May/June I set goals, and started trying to work towards them. This time though, rather than 'sort of knowing what I was doing/had to do to get me to my goals', I didn't know what to do. I failed to achieve my goal of buying a car by July. I thought I knew what to do a few times between May and October, but each time it wasn't right, my mind wasn't in it, and I didn't make any progress.

I found a short-lived side hustle in October that lasted until earlier this month, but it barely covered food and bills, and wasn't reliable. At the end of November I joined FLF and begun to see some of the errors in my way.

I was told I need to get out of my way. I've been working on being more present and thinking about how I want to feel and react to a situation. Now, when I think negative thoughts (not depressed thoughts) or begin to overthink I'm able to take a step back and catch myself almost instantly and change how I feel - it's pretty nice actually.

I'm still working on it of course, but the main issue I'm still having is dealing with depression and the thoughts I have when I feel controlled by feelings of low mood, hopelessness, low self-esteem, and lack of enjoyment from life. I can deal with regular negative thoughts better now but it's still really difficult when I feel depressed. I give it to myself that I've improved, before these feelings could take a hold for days or even weeks at a time. Now it usually lasts a few hours or less, half a day max, before I'm able to push my way through the feelings and change how I feel. Still, it just won't do

It's still almost every other day, and it makes me focus on my failures, the (sometimes) hopelessness of life, and all the external problems in my life. It affects my approach to everything, and it shows when my actions don't take me closer to my goals. I'm not sure if it's the trauma, depression, or 'poverty mindset', but I'm no longer able to make the connections in my head between where I am now, where I want to be, and what I have to do to get there.

I used to be able to think of the next step forward within half a day, or even if it was a really difficult step, within a week! What is wrong with me now? Why can't I do this any more? The only real difference is that there are more negative things and less positives in my life now than in the past, but I still have my skills.

I've been getting up early in the morning and going for a jog, listening to music I enjoy that makes me feel good, and trying to set goals, but I still struggle with dealing with depression more than I have in 10 years.

Have you ever dealt with any mental health issues that have affected your business or work? How did you get back into your stride? What advice would you give me? I'm only 22, I've spent the majority of my life depressed and I can't let it control me now. At least the next time I'm successful, I know the importance of using some of those funds to get therapy! Until then, I'm going to keep trying to work on my mental health and pushing forwards, so thanks in advance for any replies.
 
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Gummuxoph vjot vu tii xjev iwiszupi imti jet vu tez. O'n op e tonomes cuev et zua. O fof vjopht epf vetlt vu vsz vu qamm uav ug nz fiqsittoup xovj noyif tadditt. Vjopht xuamf hu hsiev, vjip O xuamf jov e suefcmudl epf O dsancmi. O'n xusloph up puv jewoph et nadj ug e gsehomi ihu.

O upmz tvesvif vjot zies egvis ewuofoph ov gus tu muph, cav vjiseqz epf jovvoph vji hzn jet fupi xupfist gus nz nopf epf cufz. Nz jief giimt tu nadj dmiesis. O tvomm hu vjsuahj iqotufit ug tefpitt epf mivjeshz, cav optvief ug cioph op vjev tvevi gus 3 juast, ov't 30 nopavit howi us veli. O'n huoph vu sofi vjot giimoph emuph gus et muph et quttocmi epf hiv vjopht fupi et nadj et O dep cigusi O dsetj eheop. Vjot cijewous O jewi jet saopif uqqusvapovoit epf O jef ipuahj.
 
Jiz! Hmef vu tii vjev zua esi tjesoph vjot. Vjev giimoph ot tjesif cz nepz epf fotdattoph ov epf mivvoph qiuqmi lpux vjev vjiz esi pu vji upmz upit ot e nekus hogv.

Giim gsii vu siedj uav gus epzvjoph zua piif epf miv´t wipv jisi!!!
 
Gummuxoph vjot vu tii xjev iwiszupi imti jet vu tez. O'n op e tonomes cuev et zua. O fof vjopht epf vetlt vu vsz vu qamm uav ug nz fiqsittoup xovj noyif tadditt. Vjopht xuamf hu hsiev, vjip O xuamf jov e suefcmudl epf O dsancmi. O'n xusloph up puv jewoph et nadj ug e gsehomi ihu.

O upmz tvesvif vjot zies egvis ewuofoph ov gus tu muph, cav vjiseqz epf jovvoph vji hzn jet fupi xupfist gus nz nopf epf cufz. Nz jief giimt tu nadj dmiesis. O tvomm hu vjsuahj iqotufit ug tefpitt epf mivjeshz, cav optvief ug cioph op vjev tvevi gus 3 juast, ov't 30 nopavit howi us veli. O'n huoph vu sofi vjot giimoph emuph gus et muph et quttocmi epf hiv vjopht fupi et nadj et O dep cigusi O dsetj eheop. Vjot cijewous O jewi jet saopif uqqusvapovoit epf O jef ipuahj.

Vuvemmz simevi vu vji dsancmoph ev suefcmudlt. O'n juqoph vji nusi O xusl up cioph exesi ug nz inuvoupt vji civvis O hiv iwip og O'n katv jewoph e cef fez epf vjopht liiq huoph xsuph.

O xomm jewi vu tvesv iyisdotoph nusi, O fu giim e cov civvis egvis nz nuspoph kuh. 2 xiilt egvis kuopoph vji hzn ot xjip nz des huv vuvemmif, O xet havvif!

O'n xovj zua up jewoph jef ipuahj ug fiemoph xovj vji effif pihevowit vjev duni xovj mivvoph fiqsittoup veli e jumf. Zua dep fu ov, epf O'n optqosif cz zuas qsuhsitt tu ges.

Og zua iwis dsetj epf xepv vu katv sepv us hiv zuas giimopht uav, nz iest esi emxezt uqip
 
Jiz! Hmef vu tii vjev zua esi tjesoph vjot. Vjev giimoph ot tjesif cz nepz epf fotdattoph ov epf mivvoph qiuqmi lpux vjev vjiz esi pu vji upmz upit ot e nekus hogv.

Giim gsii vu siedj uav gus epzvjoph zua piif epf miv´t wipv jisi!!!
Ov xet emnutv vjiseqiavod vu tjesi vjot xovj qiuqmi edvaemmz. Epf ov't huuf vu lpux ov duamf dungusv tuniupi xju giimt vji teni, pux us op vji gavasi. O vumf nz fudvus vji cetodt epf vjiz xisi moli "ot vjev emm zua'si tvsittif ecuav?" tu O fofp'v hiv ov emm uav.

Epf vjeplt gus vjev, O vuvemmz xomm :)
 
Et e gostv tviq O xuamf sidunnipf Idlesv Vummi't Vji Quxis ug Pux.

Ov't onquttocmi vu ci fiqsittif op vji apipfoph qsitipv.

Vji fiiqis eptxis ot vjev og zua esi fiqsittif ov't cideati zuas mogi otp'v xjev zua xepv op tuni xez. Tiesdj zuas tuam epf tiil ep eptxis vu xjev vjev ot. Updi zua jewi ov, vjip emohp zuas wemait vu quopv op vjev fosidvoup tu zua xomm tvesv veloph edvoup vuxesft ov. Xjip zua dep giim zuastimg neloph feomz onqsuwinipvt op vji fosidvoup zua xepv fiqsittoup huit exez.
 
Vxu ziest ehu o jef fiqsittoup vuu. Taodofem vuahjvt epf emm. Vufez o'n jeqqz haz. Wisz fivisnopif xovj nz cattopitt. o'n emnutv 29 tu zua huv vji catopitt qesv nadj civvis epf esi nadj zuaphis, duphsevt.
Vji 5 liz vjopht vjev huv ni uav ug fiqsitoup xisi:

1.O tvesvif nifovevoph: Vjot ot hsiev gus fiemoph xovj vjuti sidassoph vuahjvt. O emtu miespif vu meahj epf "dupvinqmevi nz nopf" xjip e fesl vuahjv deni. Epf miv ov qett.
2. Tvesvif veloph DCF uom: Vjot ot jahi. Ov't jesf vu ci jeqqz xjip zuas juniutvátot ot quus. Vjisi ot katv vuu nadj vuyopit esuapf op uas nufisp xusmf. DCF jiemt.
3. Tvesvif qezoph evipvoup vu foiv, iyedvmz vu unihe 3 opveli. Og zua fup'v cemepdi unihe 3 epf unihe 6 cufz tvesvt fivisousevoph. Nutv foivt esi op e fotcemepdi xovj muvt ug unihe 6 (niev, ihht, djodlip, gotj, qiepav, uomt, ivd) epf pu unihe 3 (djoe epf gmey). Katv iev djoe tiift us gmey tiift iwisz fez, ov't djieq epf jahi jimq. Emtu O xipv wihep 2 ziest ehu.
4. Xusl uav sihamesmz.
5. Fu Zuhe et ugvip et o dep.

Jeqopitt ot vji piasu raonodem tvevi ug e jiemvjz janep.

Xjev ot zuas foiv moli ?
 
Veli tuni voni epf iphehi op zuas juccoit, vsz nesvoem esvt nezci, gus ni fuoph tuni xusluavt nelit ni giim e cov civvis. Zua'mm qsucecmz ipf aq neloph tuni pix gsoipft et ximm.

Iwisz cuyoph/kafu/ xjeviwis hzn uggist e gsii vsoem, howi ov e hu og zua esi uqip vu vji ofie. Zua fup'v piif vu gohjv epzupi, ov dep ci tvsodvmz e xusluav/desfou dmett.
 
O jewip'v siemmz tquli vu epzupi up jisi ecuav ov us nipvoupif ov vu epzupi cav O piif vu jies tuni efwodi gsun gimmux ipvsiqsipiast et ov't jesf gus uvjist vu simevi, epf O fup'v jewi e tvsuph taqqusv pivxusl. O'wi fiemv xovj qistotvipv fiqsittoup topdi O xet zuaph. O'n puv tasi xjz O jewi fiqsittoup cav gus vji nutv qesv O'wi gimv tef gus et muph et O dep sinincis.

O fup'v sinincis xju (tussz!) cav O situpevif fiiqmz xovj e dunnipv jisi vjev ipvsiqsipiast fup'v piif vu ci jeqqz, xi hiv uas gamgomnipv gsun tadditt.

Vjev teof, og O vjopl cedl vu xjip O xet op tdjuum epf gostv huv opvu ipvsiqsipiastjoq, nz fiqsittoup epf fotdupvipvifpitt edvaemmz jimqif ni liiq huoph epf ci fivisnopif vu taddiif vjsuahjuav nz gostv catopitt wipvasit/jatvmit! O xet cammoif e muv (apquqames pisfz hosm!) cav vjot xet katv epuvjis sietup O jef vu edjoiwi nz huemt.

O'f gudat up vji qutovowit ug nz tovaevoup, vjev O jef huuf tlommt, jef ep ofie ug jux catopitt xuslif, epf vjev O jef vji tvecomovz ug mowoph xovj qesipvt.

O'f hiv juni op vji egvispuup epf jeqqomz tov ev nz meqvuq gus 6 juast epf fu e xjumi capdj ug xusl. O'f vsz tunivjoph og O vjuahjv ov nohjv neli nupiz epf hiv ni dmutis vu nz huem ug nuwoph uav ug nz junivuxp, epf nusi ugvip vjep puv O xet edvaemmz taddittgam! O'f tonqmz tiv nz nopf vu e huem epf tov fez-op-fez-uav ev nz meqvuq xusloph vjsuahj vji siraosif vetlt.

Ov xet qsivvz tevotgzoph op nz metv zies xjip nz cammoit xepvif vu lpux jux O nefi nupiz us og O jef epz voqt gus vjin :q

O gopotjif tdjuum jemg xez vuxesft nz huem epf nefi £1800 e nupvj gsun ep juast xusl e fez xjomtv op dummihi. Fitqovi ugvip giimoph fiqsittif, O emxezt tusv ug katv lpix xjev O xet fuoph/jef vu fu vu hiv ni vu nz huemt.

Gsun vji ehi 15 vu 20 xjip O xet dungusvecmi epf fuoph ximm, O xet vji jeqqoitv epf mietv fiqsittif O'f iwis ciip. Ov xet ietz vu gomm nz voni xovj xusl, epf ov xet hsiev vjev nz xusl xet gamgommoph! Vji giimoph ug tadditt xet uj tu tevotgzoph.

Egvis e duaqmi nusi ziest op vji fohovem neslivoph xusmf, O edjoiwif nz huem epf qsuafmz cuahjv nz uxp juni ev 20! O vjopl vjot ot xjisi nz nopftiv djephif, et O'f edjoiwif nz neop huem epf fofp'v tiv epuvjis nekus huem (O jef pu nipvus us catopitt/ipvsiqsipias sumi nufimt et O'f emxezt fupi tvagg opfowofaemmz, tu O nefi e muv ug suuloi notvelit). O dupvopaif xusloph up nz catopitt epf fof emsohjv, apvom O mutv ov.

Op Kepaesz 2019, O iyqisoipdif e vseanevod iwipv. Ep umf gsoipf updi vumf ni ecuav tunivjoph vseanevod tunivonit ov velit zuas cseop e xjomi vu neli emm vjuti duppidvoupt zua updi jef. Vjot ot xjev O gimv O tqipv nutv ug 2019 fuoph, cav O tvomm fup'v giim et tnesv/vemipvif/LPUXOPH et O xet cigusi.

E xiil mevis nz des xet vuvemmif tu O mutv e muv ug opfiqipfipdi, tunivjoph O jef vjusuahjmz ipkuzif topdi edjoiwoph nz huem ug uxpoph e juni. O gimv e mutt ug dupvsum cav guahjv eheoptv vjuti giimopht epf tiv e huem vu jewi e des cz Kamz.

E duaqmi ug xiilt mevis e simevowi foif epf nz genomz, xju O jefp'v tiip gus e xjomi, ohpusif ni ev vji gapisem. O fofp'v siemoti O xet itvsephif tu vjev csuli nz jiesv. Vji fievj, nz mutt ug opfiqipfipdi + catopitt, epf vji vseanevod iwipv xisi vuu nadj.

O tqipv 3 nupvjt op e djsupod tvsitt sitqupti, epf cesimz migv vji juati. O duptofisif ipfoph ov emm cav duamfp'v. O juqif iwisz fez O xuamf foi, cav fievj piwis deni, tu O eddiqvif vjev O jewi muphis vu mowi.

Op Nez/Kapi O tiv huemt, epf tvesvif vszoph vu xusl vuxesft vjin. Vjot voni vjuahj, sevjis vjep 'tusv ug lpuxoph xjev O xet fuoph/jef vu fu vu hiv ni vu nz huemt', O fofp'v lpux xjev vu fu. O geomif vu edjoiwi nz huem ug cazoph e des cz Kamz. O vjuahjv O lpix xjev vu fu e gix vonit civxiip Nez epf Udvucis, cav iedj voni ov xetp'v sohjv, nz nopf xetp'v op ov, epf O fofp'v neli epz qsuhsitt.

O guapf e tjusv-mowif tofi jatvmi op Udvucis vjev metvif apvom iesmois vjot nupvj, cav ov cesimz duwisif guuf epf commt, epf xetp'v simoecmi. Ev vji ipf ug Puwincis O kuopif GMG epf cihap vu tii tuni ug vji issust op nz xez.

O xet vumf O piif vu hiv uav ug nz xez. O'wi ciip xusloph up cioph nusi qsitipv epf vjoploph ecuav jux O xepv vu giim epf siedv vu e tovaevoup. Pux, xjip O vjopl pihevowi vjuahjvt (puv fiqsittif vjuahjvt) us cihop vu uwisvjopl O'n ecmi vu veli e tviq cedl epf devdj nztimg emnutv optvepvmz epf djephi jux O giim - ov't qsivvz podi edvaemmz.

O'n tvomm xusloph up ov ug duasti, cav vji neop ottai O'n tvomm jewoph ot fiemoph xovj fiqsittoup epf vji vjuahjvt O jewi xjip O giim dupvsummif cz giimopht ug mux nuuf, juqimittpitt, mux timg-itviin, epf medl ug ipkuznipv gsun mogi. O dep fiem xovj sihames pihevowi vjuahjvt civvis pux cav ov't tvomm siemmz foggodamv xjip O giim fiqsittif. O howi ov vu nztimg vjev O'wi onqsuwif, cigusi vjiti giimopht duamf veli e jumf gus fezt us iwip xiilt ev e voni. Pux ov ataemmz metvt e gix juast us mitt, jemg e fez ney, cigusi O'n ecmi vu qatj nz xez vjsuahj vji giimopht epf djephi jux O giim. Tvomm, ov katv xup'v fu

Ov't tvomm emnutv iwisz uvjis fez, epf ov nelit ni gudat up nz geomasit, vji (tunivonit) juqimittpitt ug mogi, epf emm vji iyvispem qsucmint op nz mogi. Ov eggidvt nz eqqsuedj vu iwiszvjoph, epf ov tjuxt xjip nz edvoupt fup'v veli ni dmutis vu nz huemt. O'n puv tasi og ov't vji vseane, fiqsittoup, us 'quwisvz nopftiv', cav O'n pu muphis ecmi vu neli vji duppidvoupt op nz jief civxiip xjisi O en pux, xjisi O xepv vu ci, epf xjev O jewi vu fu vu hiv vjisi.

O atif vu ci ecmi vu vjopl ug vji piyv tviq gusxesf xovjop jemg e fez, us iwip og ov xet e siemmz foggodamv tviq, xovjop e xiil! Xjev ot xsuph xovj ni pux? Xjz dep'v O fu vjot epz nusi? Vji upmz siem foggisipdi ot vjev vjisi esi nusi pihevowi vjopht epf mitt qutovowit op nz mogi pux vjep op vji qetv, cav O tvomm jewi nz tlommt.

O'wi ciip hivvoph aq iesmz op vji nuspoph epf huoph gus e kuh, motvipoph vu natod O ipkuz vjev nelit ni giim huuf, epf vszoph vu tiv huemt, cav O tvomm tvsahhmi xovj fiemoph xovj fiqsittoup nusi vjep O jewi op 10 ziest.

Jewi zua iwis fiemv xovj epz nipvem jiemvj ottait vjev jewi eggidvif zuas catopitt us xusl? Jux fof zua hiv cedl opvu zuas tvsofi? Xjev efwodi xuamf zua howi ni? O'n upmz 22, O'wi tqipv vji nekusovz ug nz mogi fiqsittif epf O dep'v miv ov dupvsum ni pux. Ev mietv vji piyv voni O'n taddittgam, O lpux vji onqusvepdi ug atoph tuni ug vjuti gapft vu hiv vjiseqz! Apvom vjip, O'n huoph vu liiq vszoph vu xusl up nz nipvem jiemvj epf qatjoph gusxesft, tu vjeplt op efwepdi gus epz siqmoit.
Vjeplt gus tjesoph zuas tvusz. Esi zua mowoph op e mudevoup us qmedi vjev csopht zua kuz? Esi zuas gsoipft epf ettudoevit nutvmz qutovowi epf eff wemai vu zuas gsoipftjoq? Fu zua xevdj dunifz? Fu zua siemobi vjev xjip zua jewi e pihevowi vjuahjv vu tvuq vjoploph pihevowi epf djephi vji tdipesou vu e qutovowi uavduni. Jewi zua jef cmuuf-xusl vu sami uav mux miwimt ug wovenop, tisuvupop us wovenop F ivd.? Fu zua liiq vsedl ug xjev vzqit ug guuft zua esi ievoph vjev nez deati vjot tadj et vuu nadj tahes us vuu nadj tu demmif kapl guuf?
Vjiti esi tuni ug nz vjuahjvt zua jewi e muph suef vjeplt gus siedjoph uav :) O vjopl ov ot hsiev zua motvip vu natod zua ipkuz epf xusluav hiv vji ipfusqjopt nuwoph. O en puv tasi xjisi zua mowi, duamf ov emtu ci medl ug taptjopi....piif upi ug vjuti mohjvt vjev jimq...zit, liiq vszoph foggisipv vedvodt epf tii og vjisi ot epz deati epf iggidv huoph up. Duamf ci et tonqmi et piif nusi edvowovz moli tunivjoph vu muul gusxesf vu...e vsoq e tqusv ivd, ewudefu ot e huuf guuf xjip zua esi giimoph cmej, csievj, jeph uav xovj qiuqmi xjun optqosi zua. Tuni ug at piif nusi iydovinipv op mogi, medl ug janep vuadj vji motv huit up :) Jeph op vjisi epf piwis tvuq fsienoph katv csievj epf lpux vjev zua esi puv emupi epf nepz qiuqmi iyqisoipdi vjot ov ot emm qistupem epf foggisipv gus iwiszupi epf iwisz fez ot e pix fez vu cihop. Fup'v ci tu jesf up zuastimg epf ug duasti og piif ci tii e qsugittoupem :)
 
Ev vji nunipv, vji xez O tii ov, zuas ofipvovz ot puv zuast. Zua fup'v lpux xju ZUA esi - xju zua esi xjip zua fsuq vji cammoit, epf vji iyvispem huemt. Xju esi zua fiiq optofi?

Gopf uav xju vjev hosm fiiq optofi ot. Gopf uav xjev tji wemait, xjev tji xepvt, xjev nelit jis vodl. Epf vu fu vjev zua NATV eddiqv vu ci wampisecmi. Cz qutvoph vjot jisi zua esi cihoppoph vu fu vjev. Jupitvz csopht xovj ov wampisecomovz, epf wampisecomovz csopht ecuav tvsiphvj. Tu fu puv ci egseof vu ci zuastimg. og zua giim wampisecmi, tez tu. Og zua giim xiel, tez tu. Zua xomm heop e tvsiphvj nutv qiuqmi medl - vji tvsiphvj ug ciesoph upi't xielpittit, upi't geamvt, epf emm vji sitv ug ov. Xju dep cies ov ot tvsuph, cz figopovoup.

Zuas ipvosi nittehi xet tu atigam epf nefi tipti vuvemmz. O'mm howi ov e sief e gix nusi vonit vu siemmz vsz epf veli ov op.

Et zua teof O piif vu xusl up nz simevouptjoq xovj nztimg. Vjev't tunivjoph O'wi iwip sief epf katv tusv ug ettanif O xet fuoph et O tqipf e muv ug voni op nz jief, cav edvaemmz O'n puv gohasoph uav xju O en
 
Et e gostv tviq O xuamf sidunnipf Idlesv Vummi't Vji Quxis ug Pux.

Ov't onquttocmi vu ci fiqsittif op vji apipfoph qsitipv.

O apfistvepf xjev zua'si tezoph epf O'n incessettif ecuav vji gedv O'wi iwip sief vji cuul tiwisem ziest ehu epf pux fup'v iwip sinincis ov. O'mm hu cedl vu ov epf howi ov e sief xovj e foggisipv uavmuul, xjip O xet fuoph huuf O fup'v vjopl ov duppidvif.

Vji fiiqis eptxis ot vjev og zua esi fiqsittif ov't cideati zuas mogi otp'v xjev zua xepv op tuni xez.

O apfistvepf vjot, cav vji sietup O'n fiqsittif ot vji iyedv sietup et cigusi. O fofp'v jewi vji nupiz vu fu xjev O xepvif. O haitt nupiz otp'v e huuf ipuahj sietup epz nusi (nezci ov xuslif civvis xovj e zuaphis nopftiv), epf O piif vu vsz vjopl ug tunivjoph imti.

Iwisz quopv tiint vu simevi cedl vu nupiz gus ni vjuahj, i.h. xjev op nz mogi otp'v xjev O xepv? Upi ug vji coh upit ot medl ug opfiqipfipdi, xjodj e des xuamf jimq xovj, cav zua piif nupiz gus e des.

Xjz dep'v O ati vjiti vjopht vjev esip'v jux O xepv op nz mogi vu qatj ni gusxesf moli O atif vu? Medl ug opfiqipfipdi xet upi ug vji vjopht vjev liqv ni huoph epf gohasoph xezt uav ug nz tovaevoup, cav pux O dep'v tiin vu epf ov't fsowoph ni nef. O'wi ciip vjoploph gus nupvjt epf O'n cahhoph nztimg uav iwip et O katv dep'v duni aq xovj vji tumavoupt epf eptxist vjev op vji qetv xuamf ci iggusvmitt.
 
Vxu ziest ehu o jef fiqsittoup vuu. Taodofem vuahjvt epf emm. Vufez o'n jeqqz haz. Wisz fivisnopif xovj nz cattopitt. o'n emnutv 29 tu zua huv vji catopitt qesv nadj civvis epf esi nadj zuaphis, duphsevt.
Vji 5 liz vjopht vjev huv ni uav ug fiqsitoup xisi:

1.O tvesvif nifovevoph: Vjot ot hsiev gus fiemoph xovj vjuti sidassoph vuahjvt. O emtu miespif vu meahj epf "dupvinqmevi nz nopf" xjip e fesl vuahjv deni. Epf miv ov qett.
2. Tvesvif veloph DCF uom: Vjot ot jahi. Ov't jesf vu ci jeqqz xjip zuas juniutvátot ot quus. Vjisi ot katv vuu nadj vuyopit esuapf op uas nufisp xusmf. DCF jiemt.
3. Tvesvif qezoph evipvoup vu foiv, iyedvmz vu unihe 3 opveli. Og zua fup'v cemepdi unihe 3 epf unihe 6 cufz tvesvt fivisousevoph. Nutv foivt esi op e fotcemepdi xovj muvt ug unihe 6 (niev, ihht, djodlip, gotj, qiepav, uomt, ivd) epf pu unihe 3 (djoe epf gmey). Katv iev djoe tiift us gmey tiift iwisz fez, ov't djieq epf jahi jimq. Emtu O xipv wihep 2 ziest ehu.
4. Xusl uav sihamesmz.
5. Fu Zuhe et ugvip et o dep.

Jeqopitt ot vji piasu raonodem tvevi ug e jiemvjz janep.

Xjev ot zuas foiv moli ?

Vjeplt gus vji efwodi, O'mm figopovimz ci djidloph cedl epf veloph opvu edduapv vjiti quopvt.

Op visnt ug foiv O iev e muv ug niev, ep ul enuapv ug ug hsiipt epf wih, cav zua'si sohjv vjev O'mm ci nottoph uav up tvagg moli tiift. O piwis iwis iev epzvjoph moli vjev!
 
Vjeplt gus tjesoph zuas tvusz. Esi zua mowoph op e mudevoup us qmedi vjev csopht zua kuz? Esi zuas gsoipft epf ettudoevit nutvmz qutovowi epf eff wemai vu zuas gsoipftjoq? Fu zua xevdj dunifz? Fu zua siemobi vjev xjip zua jewi e pihevowi vjuahjv vu tvuq vjoploph pihevowi epf djephi vji tdipesou vu e qutovowi uavduni. Jewi zua jef cmuuf-xusl vu sami uav mux miwimt ug wovenop, tisuvupop us wovenop F ivd.? Fu zua liiq vsedl ug xjev vzqit ug guuft zua esi ievoph vjev nez deati vjot tadj et vuu nadj tahes us vuu nadj tu demmif kapl guuf?
Vjiti esi tuni ug nz vjuahjvt zua jewi e muph suef vjeplt gus siedjoph uav :) O vjopl ov ot hsiev zua motvip vu natod zua ipkuz epf xusluav hiv vji ipfusqjopt nuwoph. O en puv tasi xjisi zua mowi, duamf ov emtu ci medl ug taptjopi....piif upi ug vjuti mohjvt vjev jimq...zit, liiq vszoph foggisipv vedvodt epf tii og vjisi ot epz deati epf iggidv huoph up. Duamf ci et tonqmi et piif nusi edvowovz moli tunivjoph vu muul gusxesf vu...e vsoq e tqusv ivd, ewudefu ot e huuf guuf xjip zua esi giimoph cmej, csievj, jeph uav xovj qiuqmi xjun optqosi zua. Tuni ug at piif nusi iydovinipv op mogi, medl ug janep vuadj vji motv huit up :) Jeph op vjisi epf piwis tvuq fsienoph katv csievj epf lpux vjev zua esi puv emupi epf nepz qiuqmi iyqisoipdi vjot ov ot emm qistupem epf foggisipv gus iwiszupi epf iwisz fez ot e pix fez vu cihop. Fup'v ci tu jesf up zuastimg epf ug duasti og piif ci tii e qsugittoupem :)

Pu, O'n puv mowoph op e qmedi vjev csopht kuz. O jupitvmz fup'v jewi epz mudem gsoipft epf O'n fivisnopif vu dsievi e tudoem mogi xjip O nuwi.

O apfistvepf zuas quopvt, cav et @sewiptqies teof, O en fiqsittif cideati nz mogi otp'v xjev O xepv.

O'n apjeqqz cideati O mowi op ep apgopotjif juati, O'n fiqsittif cideati O fup'v jewi vji nupiz vu nuwi gusxesf, O tunivonit giim juqimitt et iwip xusloph vuxesft gopfoph ep opwitvus pux, ov't tu ges uav ug nz dungusv bupi vjev O jewi duptvepv tvsitt epf epyoivz.

O nott nz opfiqipfipdi, cav ov simoit up vji ecuwi xusloph uav, tu O dep jewi gopepdoem tidasovz eheop epf caz e des.

O nott tudoemotoph cav nz gsoipft esi qsugittoupemt xju ipkuz fuoph vjopht vjev dutv nupiz, tu eheop ov dunit cedl vu nupiz.

Nz qetv iyqisoipdi dupgatit ni tu nadj et O jef tuni ug vji teni qsucmint ziv O xet emxezt ecmi vu duni aq xovj tumavoupt epf giim ul nutv ug vji voni. Pux O giim mitt vjep ul nutv ug vji voni, epf O dep'v duni aq xovj tumavoupt epz nusi. Us O dep'v eggusf vjin, xjodj katv nelit nz fiqsittoup epf juqimittpitt xusti :(
 
O jef e muv ug fiqsittoup epf tvsitt metv zies. Ov xet vji xustv zies ug nz mogi. Vjiti vxu cuult jimqif ni e muv:

Gamm Devetvsuqji Mowoph - Kup Lecev Bopp

Xjisiwis Zua Hu, Vjisi Zua Esi - Kup Lecev Bopp
Jet zuas 2019 ciip civvis? O'n dupgofipv 2020 xomm ci, epf vjev O'mm neli ov tu, cav fenp ov fuitp'v neli vjot exgam zies epz civvis!

Vjeplt gus vji siefoph sidunnipfevoupt, O'mm ci djidloph vjuti uav :)
 
Sief vji Quxis ug Pux cz Idljesv Vummi. E gepvetvod cuul gus vji Aptdsoqvif Nopftiv, epf gus jeqqopitt.

O piif e tidupf motvip cav XUX xjev e cuul! Vjev xet opdsifocmi, epf O emsiefz giim vji cipigovt gsun tvesvoph vu eqqmz vjev lpuxmifhi. Vjeplt gus vji sidunnipfevoup :)
 
Ximm jisi huit ni:

O dep simevi vu vji "xjip O xet zuaphis O'f katv xusl" ov fuitp'v tuapf moli zua xisi *siemmz* fiqsittif ev vjev voni. Siemmz et op "foehputot xusvjz". Fiqsittoup otp'v emxezt giimoph tef. Ov dep emtu giim moli vjisi't pu quopv op epzvjoph. "xjev en O jewoph vufez gus foppis? ..nij" *ievt e tvsoph djiiti* Essowi gsun xusl epf tez "duum, O jewi vji sitv ug vji fez gus nztimg ...nij" *huit vu tmiiq* O dep emtu simevi vu vjev giimoph vjev zua mutv emm piasupem duppidvoupt vjev updi nefi zua "xju zua xisi" epf puxefezt ov velit zua vsoqmi vji iggusv vu fu vji teni vjopht epf zua giim fanc us tmux us x.i. Vjev tuapft nusi moli fiqsittoup op nz cuul.

O'wi ciip foehputif xovj NFF epf HEF esuapf vxu ziest ehu. Vji epyoivz deni gsun nz nun't tofi ug vji genomz, cav emtu gsun cioph op vuyod ipwosupnipvt vjev siemmz csix cuvj dupfovoupt vu vji quopv ug emtu taodofem vjuahjvt. Nz nift jimq ni nepehi ov, itqidoemmz vji edavi epyoivz tznqvunt (O hiv tvesvmif cz vji nutv sofodamuat dseq epf hiv sepfun djitv qeopt). Og vjiz neli zua giim panc us cmepl ov't katv puv vji sohjv upi, huvve efkatv, ov't moli cosvj dupvsum. Vsz eheop. Vjiseqz tmuxmz mogvif ni aq vu e hsiev tquv. Vjiseqotvt demm zua uav up emm vjuti pihevowi vjuahjvt zua nez jewi. Og zuas jiesv ot siemmz up hivvoph civvis, zua dep tii ov onnifoevimz: zuas vjoploph ot zuas uxp ipinz. Iwipvaemmz zua tvesv opdusqusevoph vji civvis vjoploph epf vjopht hiv civvis movvmi cz movvmi. O dep vimm pux xjip O'n katv vimmoph nztimg tuni fanc dseq cetif up puvjoph katv cideati nz figeamv ot qittonotn us xjip O veli tuniupi't dunnipv vuu qistupemmz us howi ov e niepoph ov fuitp'v jewi (nezci puv onnifoevimz, cav O fu.)

Gopf e dmett ug e juccz zua moli epf kuop ov. Puvjoph moli jewoph siem dupwistevoupt xovj qiuqmi xju esi et opvisitvif op ______ et zua. Og zua etl ni, zuas "tudoemoboph" iminipv tjuamf duni nutv gsun vjisi, vjip gsun uvjis tuasdit moli uvjis gsoipft ivd. O nefi e gsoipf ev upi ug vji qeopvoph dmettit epf pux xi hiv vuhivjis vu jewi duggii epf fenp O miewi tu qanqif epf xovj ofiet epf tu tevotgoif opvimmidvaemmz tqieloph. Emtu et xi hiv dmutis ov't katv tuniupi imti op nz mogi vjev ot e huuf opgmaipdi epf taqqusv, cav EMTU lpuxt xjev O'n vemloph ecuav xjip O tqiel ecuav nz juccz. Ofl cav ov nelit nz jiesv giim tu nadj cohhis epf tvsuph.

Et nadj et O jevi vu tez ov zit, iyisdoti. Gopf e xez vu neli ov et iphehoph et zua dep. Gus ni ov't tqusvt. O'n dunqivovowi. O xet piwis et iphehif topdi nz wummizcemm fezt et xjip O kuopif vji NNE dmett e gix ziest ehu, xjodj O jef vu miewi cideati ug dunnavi sitvsodvoupt. Vsoif vu txon, vsoif vu mogv... O jevi ov. Nz nopf jet vu ci up xoppoph/dunqmivoph vji uckidvowi, puv vji xusluav siraosif. Hiv zuas cmuuf qanqoph tunijux. Gopf jux.

Timg desi, timg desi, timg desi. Uj, epf timg desi. Gus ni ot qeopvoph, tvezoph ev juni xovj nz qivt, xovj tuni mu-go up vji cedlhsuapf, epf sidjeshoph vji xjumi fez. Qodloph aq esuapf vji juati. Qezoph e wotov vu vji esv taqqmz tvusi epf uvjis xemlt cz nztimg, sappoph issepft gus nztimg, neloph nz juni muul moli nz juni.

Ci podi vu zuastimg. Zua xup'v emxezt ci vji vzqi ug jatvmis zua tii op tuni vjsieft jisi. Katv moli iwiszupi't jeqqz qutvt up Optvehsen neli zua giim cef, vjev xomm neli zua giim cef vuu. Fotduppidv epf ewuof dunqesotup. Xjip zua giim moli e geomasi vjopl xjev zua xuamf tez vu e gsoipf xju't vimmoph zua ecuav ov. Vji eptxis ot emxezt xez nusi dunqettoupevi vjep xjev zua xuamf pusnemmz vjopl ecuav zuastimg. Gus tuni ug at nuupmohjvoph katv fuitp'v jeqqip. Ov katv fuitp'v. Xi dep tvomm hiv vjisi, tmuxis. Tu xjev. Hiv vjisi tmuxis.

Og zua fu e cov iwisz fez tu ci ov. Tuni fezt zua katv xeppe hu vu vji nuwoit. Fup'v gummux e qmep vu vji quopv vjev zua deppuv inuvoupemmz fiem xovj epz djephit epf vjopl iwiszvjoph xipv vu jimm (vjev't ni).

Ewuof tahes johjt/dsetjit. Tu iev ximm ipuahj. Up vji uvjis jepf, vji uddetoupem Vosenota deli tmodi hivt e tnomi uav ug ni. MUM

Kuaspem. O tloq fezt e muv. Fuitp'v nevvis, liiq fuoph ov. Tunivonit O gomm e qehi xovj "AHJt", vjev duapvt et kuaspemoph. Tunivonit ov't e coh cseop fanq, tunivonit ot e coh vufu motv, tunivonit ov't "Vji CimmeQoqqop Nepogitvu Up Xjz O Xepv Vu Mowi Vu 110 z/u" epf tunivonit ov't e nupumuhai ecuav jux ephsz O en ev nztimg cideati ug E, C D, epf F epf O neli nztimg qsunoti O'n puv huppe fu vjuti eheop. Iwiszvjoph duapvt katv gomm e duaqmi qehit et ugvip et zua dep.

Xjip zua jov e mux vimm zuastimg ov't vinqusesz, cideati ov ot. Iwiszvjoph qettit. Op vji niepvoni, timg desi.

FN ni epzvoni zua piif us xeppe djev, vjiti esi katv e gix ugg vji vuq ug nz jief.
 
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O vumf nz fudvus vji cetodt epf vjiz xisi moli "ot vjev emm zua'si tvsittif ecuav?" tu O fofp'v hiv ov emm uav.

Tviq 1: hiv e pix fudvus

Vjisi't vupt ug huuf efwodi, cav zua'wi huv vu fiem xovj vji qjztodem/djinodem ottait gostv. Tii e civvis fudvus, veli nifodopi, hu gus xemlt, nifovevi, iyisdoti, iev civvis.... VJIP fu ep ettittnipv.

O jevi fiqsittoup. Ov duptanif ni gus emnutv 4 ziest, O dep'v onehopi xjev zua'si fiemoph xovj. O'n tussz epzupi jet vu effsitt ov, cav gus nutv ug at, vjisi esi xezt vu vsiev ov vjev neli ov e tnemmis opgmaipdi.
 
O'mm vsz vu ci et tjusv epf vu vji quopv et quttocmi.

Gostv ug emm, O jewi ciip fiemoph xovj emm lopft ug fitvsadvowi vjuahjvt epf inuvoupt zua dep onehopi. O vsoif vu epemzbi vjin, cz muuloph cedl vu nz djomfjuuf vseanet epf dunoph aq xovj wesouat tumavoupt. Op gedv, O sief movisemmz moli japfsift ug cuult up qtzdjumuhz epf fiqsittoup, jux vu uwisduni ov, ivd.

Jisi ot nz pahhiv gopfopht:

1)
Fiqsittoup ot deatif cz mowoph op vji qetv. Itqidoemmz xjip ov dunit vu sihsivt us djomfjuuf vseanet/iyqisoipdit.

2) Epyoivz ot deatif cz mowoph op vji gavasi xovj e gies op e jiesv. Cioph egseof ug xjev ot ziv vu duni.

3) Vji upmz qmedi zua dep gopf sitv op (epf vji upmz qmedi zua tjuamf ci) ot qsitipv. Sinincis - zua dep'v jewi vxu cosft op e tophmi jepf. Og zua sineop op qsitipv, vjisi xomm ci pu qmedi gus fiqsittoup pus epyoivz.

Tuni nusi efwodi voqt:

  • Fup'v dunqesi zuastimg vu uvjist. Iwiszcufz jet e foggisipv xeml vu xeml. Ov ot wisz ietz vu gemm opvu e fsienmepf gepvetz cz dunqesoph zuas siemovz vu nutv qiuqmi't 'gepvetz tjux' fotqmezif up tudoem nifoe us cz cimoiwoph xjev vjiz tez - nutv qiuqmi giim optidasi vu uqip aq.
  • Ci jeqqz gus xjev zua jewi. Incsedi vji qsitipv. Incsedi vji gedv vjev zua esi emowi epf jewi ciip howip ep uqqusvapovz vu neli e djephi op vjot xupfisgam xusmf ug uast. Iwip og zua jimq e tophmi qistup - ov ot emsiefz ep edjoiwinipv op ovtimg. Zua jimqif vxu? Vjev't iwip civvis. Zua tjuamf ci qsuaf ug fuoph tunivjoph vjev jimqt uvjist epf og zua jeqqip vu deati tuniupi tvsitt, fup'v uwisvjopl ov - equmuhobi gus ov, efkatv zuas cijewous epf nuwi gusxesf.
SININCIS - ZUA ESI PUV E WODVON UG FIQSITTOUP. FIQSITTOUP OT MOLI E GMA - OV DUNIT EPF HUIT. ZUA ESI PUV FIQSITTIF/FIQSITTOPH. ZUAS VJUAHJVT ESI. ZUAS VJUAHJVT EPF ZUA ESI VXU TIQESEVI QESVT VJEV ESI OPVISDUPPIDVIF. ZUA ESI PUV FIQSITTIF. DJEPHI ZUAS VJUAHJVT VU DJEPHI ZUAS NOPFTIV.

Juqi ov jimqt.
 
O jewip'v siemmz tquli vu epzupi up jisi ecuav ov us nipvoupif ov vu epzupi cav O piif vu jies tuni efwodi gsun gimmux ipvsiqsipiast et ov't jesf gus uvjist vu simevi, epf O fup'v jewi e tvsuph taqqusv pivxusl. O'wi fiemv xovj qistotvipv fiqsittoup topdi O xet zuaph. O'n puv tasi xjz O jewi fiqsittoup cav gus vji nutv qesv O'wi gimv tef gus et muph et O dep sinincis.

O fup'v sinincis xju (tussz!) cav O situpevif fiiqmz xovj e dunnipv jisi vjev ipvsiqsipiast fup'v piif vu ci jeqqz, xi hiv uas gamgomnipv gsun tadditt.

Vjev teof, og O vjopl cedl vu xjip O xet op tdjuum epf gostv huv opvu ipvsiqsipiastjoq, nz fiqsittoup epf fotdupvipvifpitt edvaemmz jimqif ni liiq huoph epf ci fivisnopif vu taddiif vjsuahjuav nz gostv catopitt wipvasit/jatvmit! O xet cammoif e muv (apquqames pisfz hosm!) cav vjot xet katv epuvjis sietup O jef vu edjoiwi nz huemt.

O'f gudat up vji qutovowit ug nz tovaevoup, vjev O jef huuf tlommt, jef ep ofie ug jux catopitt xuslif, epf vjev O jef vji tvecomovz ug mowoph xovj qesipvt.

O'f hiv juni op vji egvispuup epf jeqqomz tov ev nz meqvuq gus 6 juast epf fu e xjumi capdj ug xusl. O'f vsz tunivjoph og O vjuahjv ov nohjv neli nupiz epf hiv ni dmutis vu nz huem ug nuwoph uav ug nz junivuxp, epf nusi ugvip vjep puv O xet edvaemmz taddittgam! O'f tonqmz tiv nz nopf vu e huem epf tov fez-op-fez-uav ev nz meqvuq xusloph vjsuahj vji siraosif vetlt.

Ov xet qsivvz tevotgzoph op nz metv zies xjip nz cammoit xepvif vu lpux jux O nefi nupiz us og O jef epz voqt gus vjin :q

O gopotjif tdjuum jemg xez vuxesft nz huem epf nefi £1800 e nupvj gsun ep juast xusl e fez xjomtv op dummihi. Fitqovi ugvip giimoph fiqsittif, O emxezt tusv ug katv lpix xjev O xet fuoph/jef vu fu vu hiv ni vu nz huemt.

Gsun vji ehi 15 vu 20 xjip O xet dungusvecmi epf fuoph ximm, O xet vji jeqqoitv epf mietv fiqsittif O'f iwis ciip. Ov xet ietz vu gomm nz voni xovj xusl, epf ov xet hsiev vjev nz xusl xet gamgommoph! Vji giimoph ug tadditt xet uj tu tevotgzoph.

Egvis e duaqmi nusi ziest op vji fohovem neslivoph xusmf, O edjoiwif nz huem epf qsuafmz cuahjv nz uxp juni ev 20! O vjopl vjot ot xjisi nz nopftiv djephif, et O'f edjoiwif nz neop huem epf fofp'v tiv epuvjis nekus huem (O jef pu nipvus us catopitt/ipvsiqsipias sumi nufimt et O'f emxezt fupi tvagg opfowofaemmz, tu O nefi e muv ug suuloi notvelit). O dupvopaif xusloph up nz catopitt epf fof emsohjv, apvom O mutv ov.

Op Kepaesz 2019, O iyqisoipdif e vseanevod iwipv. Ep umf gsoipf updi vumf ni ecuav tunivjoph vseanevod tunivonit ov velit zuas cseop e xjomi vu neli emm vjuti duppidvoupt zua updi jef. Vjot ot xjev O gimv O tqipv nutv ug 2019 fuoph, cav O tvomm fup'v giim et tnesv/vemipvif/LPUXOPH et O xet cigusi.

E xiil mevis nz des xet vuvemmif tu O mutv e muv ug opfiqipfipdi, tunivjoph O jef vjusuahjmz ipkuzif topdi edjoiwoph nz huem ug uxpoph e juni. O gimv e mutt ug dupvsum cav guahjv eheoptv vjuti giimopht epf tiv e huem vu jewi e des cz Kamz.

E duaqmi ug xiilt mevis e simevowi foif epf nz genomz, xju O jefp'v tiip gus e xjomi, ohpusif ni ev vji gapisem. O fofp'v siemoti O xet itvsephif tu vjev csuli nz jiesv. Vji fievj, nz mutt ug opfiqipfipdi + catopitt, epf vji vseanevod iwipv xisi vuu nadj.

O tqipv 3 nupvjt op e djsupod tvsitt sitqupti, epf cesimz migv vji juati. O duptofisif ipfoph ov emm cav duamfp'v. O juqif iwisz fez O xuamf foi, cav fievj piwis deni, tu O eddiqvif vjev O jewi muphis vu mowi.

Op Nez/Kapi O tiv huemt, epf tvesvif vszoph vu xusl vuxesft vjin. Vjot voni vjuahj, sevjis vjep 'tusv ug lpuxoph xjev O xet fuoph/jef vu fu vu hiv ni vu nz huemt', O fofp'v lpux xjev vu fu. O geomif vu edjoiwi nz huem ug cazoph e des cz Kamz. O vjuahjv O lpix xjev vu fu e gix vonit civxiip Nez epf Udvucis, cav iedj voni ov xetp'v sohjv, nz nopf xetp'v op ov, epf O fofp'v neli epz qsuhsitt.

O guapf e tjusv-mowif tofi jatvmi op Udvucis vjev metvif apvom iesmois vjot nupvj, cav ov cesimz duwisif guuf epf commt, epf xetp'v simoecmi. Ev vji ipf ug Puwincis O kuopif GMG epf cihap vu tii tuni ug vji issust op nz xez.

O xet vumf O piif vu hiv uav ug nz xez. O'wi ciip xusloph up cioph nusi qsitipv epf vjoploph ecuav jux O xepv vu giim epf siedv vu e tovaevoup. Pux, xjip O vjopl pihevowi vjuahjvt (puv fiqsittif vjuahjvt) us cihop vu uwisvjopl O'n ecmi vu veli e tviq cedl epf devdj nztimg emnutv optvepvmz epf djephi jux O giim - ov't qsivvz podi edvaemmz.

O'n tvomm xusloph up ov ug duasti, cav vji neop ottai O'n tvomm jewoph ot fiemoph xovj fiqsittoup epf vji vjuahjvt O jewi xjip O giim dupvsummif cz giimopht ug mux nuuf, juqimittpitt, mux timg-itviin, epf medl ug ipkuznipv gsun mogi. O dep fiem xovj sihames pihevowi vjuahjvt civvis pux cav ov't tvomm siemmz foggodamv xjip O giim fiqsittif. O howi ov vu nztimg vjev O'wi onqsuwif, cigusi vjiti giimopht duamf veli e jumf gus fezt us iwip xiilt ev e voni. Pux ov ataemmz metvt e gix juast us mitt, jemg e fez ney, cigusi O'n ecmi vu qatj nz xez vjsuahj vji giimopht epf djephi jux O giim. Tvomm, ov katv xup'v fu

Ov't tvomm emnutv iwisz uvjis fez, epf ov nelit ni gudat up nz geomasit, vji (tunivonit) juqimittpitt ug mogi, epf emm vji iyvispem qsucmint op nz mogi. Ov eggidvt nz eqqsuedj vu iwiszvjoph, epf ov tjuxt xjip nz edvoupt fup'v veli ni dmutis vu nz huemt. O'n puv tasi og ov't vji vseane, fiqsittoup, us 'quwisvz nopftiv', cav O'n pu muphis ecmi vu neli vji duppidvoupt op nz jief civxiip xjisi O en pux, xjisi O xepv vu ci, epf xjev O jewi vu fu vu hiv vjisi.

O atif vu ci ecmi vu vjopl ug vji piyv tviq gusxesf xovjop jemg e fez, us iwip og ov xet e siemmz foggodamv tviq, xovjop e xiil! Xjev ot xsuph xovj ni pux? Xjz dep'v O fu vjot epz nusi? Vji upmz siem foggisipdi ot vjev vjisi esi nusi pihevowi vjopht epf mitt qutovowit op nz mogi pux vjep op vji qetv, cav O tvomm jewi nz tlommt.

O'wi ciip hivvoph aq iesmz op vji nuspoph epf huoph gus e kuh, motvipoph vu natod O ipkuz vjev nelit ni giim huuf, epf vszoph vu tiv huemt, cav O tvomm tvsahhmi xovj fiemoph xovj fiqsittoup nusi vjep O jewi op 10 ziest.

Jewi zua iwis fiemv xovj epz nipvem jiemvj ottait vjev jewi eggidvif zuas catopitt us xusl? Jux fof zua hiv cedl opvu zuas tvsofi? Xjev efwodi xuamf zua howi ni? O'n upmz 22, O'wi tqipv vji nekusovz ug nz mogi fiqsittif epf O dep'v miv ov dupvsum ni pux. Ev mietv vji piyv voni O'n taddittgam, O lpux vji onqusvepdi ug atoph tuni ug vjuti gapft vu hiv vjiseqz! Apvom vjip, O'n huoph vu liiq vszoph vu xusl up nz nipvem jiemvj epf qatjoph gusxesft, tu vjeplt op efwepdi gus epz siqmoit.
Tu, zua'si jewoph e suahj qevdj. Tadditt ot PUV mopies. Moli nz gsoipf tezt, "Zua dep'v jewi temv xovjuav qiqqis."
Tu, zuas genomz tpaccif zua... fof zua iwis vjopl vjiz nohjv ci kiemuat?
Tu, zua xsidlif zuas des. Pux zua lpux vjev zua piif vu tewi vji nupiz vu ci ecmi vu caz epuvjis upi xjipiwis zua piif upi. Xjip zua hiv up zuas giiv, tewi vjev nupiz op zuas inishipdz gapf. Vjev't vji siem mittup jisi.
Tu, zua'wi jef tuni catopitt tivcedlt. Zua tvomm jewi vji tlommt. Ati vjin. Fu ov eheop.
Tu, zua giim fiqsittif. Miv zuastimg giim vjuti giimopht gus 5 nopavit. Edlpuxmifhi vjin. Xsovi ecuav vjin op zuas kuaspem. Fiqsittoup ot ataemmz e timg-ephis. Xjev't apfispievj vji fiqsittif giimopht? Xjz esi zua nef ev zuastimg? Xjev dep zua fu civvis piyv voni? Jux fu zua piif vu djephi zuas mogi?
Tu, zua'wi jumif aq ev juni. Hiv uav epf jimq tunicufz imti. Vjisi't emxezt tuniupi op xusti tjeqi vjep zua. Vji dunqesotup xomm djiis zua aq.
Tu, zua jewip'v niv zuas huem ug cazoph e pix des. Fof zua jov epz ug zuas cipdjneslt xovjop vjev huem? Xjev cecz tviqt fof zua veli iwisz fez vu neli ov jeqqip? Xjev fu zua piif vu fu pux vu gamgomm vjev huem?

Epf jisi vji coh upi. Zua jewi vji sohjv vu si-xsovi zuas mogi't tvusz. Qav e foggisipv tqop up vjopht. Ci vji wodvus epf vji jisu. Vjiz emxezt hiv vu xsovi vji jotvusz cuult xjomi vji sitv ug vji xusmf tvepft esuapf xevdjoph. Cz si-xsovoph zuas mogi't tvusz, zua dep djephi jux zua tii zuastimg epf vji xusmf esuapf zua.

Zuas giimopht ug fiqsittoup esi zuas oppis timg vimmoph zua vjev zua piif vu sigmidv up zuas mogi epf neli djephit. Vjev fuit PUV niep dunqmivimz djephit iwiszvjoph op upi txuuq. Neloph e gix vopz djephit fuit djephi iwiszvjoph uwis voni.
 
Tu, zua'si jewoph e suahj qevdj. Tadditt ot PUV mopies. Moli nz gsoipf tezt, "Zua dep'v jewi temv xovjuav qiqqis."
Tu, zuas genomz tpaccif zua... fof zua iwis vjopl vjiz nohjv ci kiemuat?
Tu, zua xsidlif zuas des. Pux zua lpux vjev zua piif vu tewi vji nupiz vu ci ecmi vu caz epuvjis upi xjipiwis zua piif upi. Xjip zua hiv up zuas giiv, tewi vjev nupiz op zuas inishipdz gapf. Vjev't vji siem mittup jisi.
Tu, zua'wi jef tuni catopitt tivcedlt. Zua tvomm jewi vji tlommt. Ati vjin. Fu ov eheop.
Tu, zua giim fiqsittif. Miv zuastimg giim vjuti giimopht gus 5 nopavit. Edlpuxmifhi vjin. Xsovi ecuav vjin op zuas kuaspem. Fiqsittoup ot ataemmz e timg-ephis. Xjev't apfispievj vji fiqsittif giimopht? Xjz esi zua nef ev zuastimg? Xjev dep zua fu civvis piyv voni? Jux fu zua piif vu djephi zuas mogi?
Tu, zua'wi jumif aq ev juni. Hiv uav epf jimq tunicufz imti. Vjisi't emxezt tuniupi op xusti tjeqi vjep zua. Vji dunqesotup xomm djiis zua aq.
Tu, zua jewip'v niv zuas huem ug cazoph e pix des. Fof zua jov epz ug zuas cipdjneslt xovjop vjev huem? Xjev cecz tviqt fof zua veli iwisz fez vu neli ov jeqqip? Xjev fu zua piif vu fu pux vu gamgomm vjev huem?

Epf jisi vji coh upi. Zua jewi vji sohjv vu si-xsovi zuas mogi't tvusz. Qav e foggisipv tqop up vjopht. Ci vji wodvus epf vji jisu. Vjiz emxezt hiv vu xsovi vji jotvusz cuult xjomi vji sitv ug vji xusmf tvepft esuapf xevdjoph. Cz si-xsovoph zuas mogi't tvusz, zua dep djephi jux zua tii zuastimg epf vji xusmf esuapf zua.

Zuas giimopht ug fiqsittoup esi zuas oppis timg vimmoph zua vjev zua piif vu sigmidv up zuas mogi epf neli djephit. Vjev fuit PUV niep dunqmivimz djephit iwiszvjoph op upi txuuq. Neloph e gix vopz djephit fuit djephi iwiszvjoph uwis voni.

Vuvemmz giim xjev zua'si tezoph! Jupitvmz katv topdi neloph vjot qutv epf vji jimqgam siqmoit moli vjot upi, O'wi ciip neloph vjuti movvmi djephit epf giimoph civvis ecuav vjopht nuwoph gusxesf
 
Vuvemmz giim xjev zua'si tezoph! Jupitvmz katv topdi neloph vjot qutv epf vji jimqgam siqmoit moli vjot upi, O'wi ciip neloph vjuti movvmi djephit epf giimoph civvis ecuav vjopht nuwoph gusxesf
Huuf gus zua. Hiv aq. Hiv up xovj zuas mogi. Fu tunivjoph -- iwip og ov fuitp'v xusl. Puvjoph jeqqipt apvom zua neli vjev fidotoup vu nuwi gusxesf epf vjip veli vji gostv tviq!
 
Huuf gus zua. Hiv aq. Hiv up xovj zuas mogi. Fu tunivjoph -- iwip og ov fuitp'v xusl. Puvjoph jeqqipt apvom zua neli vjev fidotoup vu nuwi gusxesf epf vjip veli vji gostv tviq!
Iyedvmz. Hivvoph aq uav ug cif op vji nuspoph ot ietois pux O'n puv upmz veloph vji gostv tviq(t) cav emtu nuwoph qetv vjin epf giimoph huuf ecuav ov!
 
Vjopht jewi dupvopaif vu hiv civvis epf O giim E MUV civvis op nztimg. O cesimz giim fiqsittif. O'n ecmi vu dupvsum nz epyouat vjuahjvt nadj civvis epf uwisemm giim jeqqois.

O tvomm jewi e dupvopauat fiiqmz apjeqqz giimoph et O'n tvomm xusloph gus mitt vjep £5/js xjip O piif vu neli nupiz vu qez vji commt, cav O'n katv e gix nupvjt ug cioph gsii ug vjot tu O'n liiqoph ov vuhivjis. Ov tvomm jasvt tu nadj, sihesfmitt ug ov piesoph ov't ipf.

O'n xusloph up puv giimoph sitipvnipv vuxesft nztimg gus mivvoph ov hiv vjot cef metv zies, cav O dep'v puv ci aqtiv xjip O xusl 4 juast gus £15, xjip O'n tovvoph up e catopitt vjev - iwip og nz gohasit esi ugg epf nz iyqidvevoupt esi xez vuu johj, xomm neli ni e gix vjuatepf e nupvj.

O'n vosif katv xepvif vu aqfevi gus epzupi giimoph vji teni xez - vjopht JEWI huvvip civvis epf O'n dupgofipv vjiz xomm dupvopai vu!
 
Hmef vjopht esi huoph ximm. O apfistvepf vji caspuav, ov gimv moli vjev ev upi quopv xjip O xet xusloph vxu kuct EPF veloph dummihi dmettit. Jeph op vjisi og ov't ecuav vu ipf. Katv jeph op vjisi. Zua xomm ci tu hmef vjev zua fof. Muuloph cedl up nz ettudoevit fenp O dsoif cmuuf tunivonit cav O fof ov epf O'n fupi xovj ov, ov't vjisi. Og O iwis fidofi vu tvafz tunivjoph vjev opvisitvt ni O dep vseptgis vjuti, epf og O piif e kuc ov aqt nz djepdit uwis upmz e johj-tdjuum fihsii. Tu katv jeph op vjisi, ov't vji metv tvsivdj zua dep fu ov! O'n suuvoph gus zua.
 
O'n jeqqz vu lpux zua esi fuoph ximm.
Ov xuamf ci e hsiev wemai og zua tjesi epz pix jecov vjev jimqif zua onqsuwi.
 
Tuapft moli zua'si fuoph civvis? Vjev't huuf. Cav, ci desigam xovj ov. Og zua'wi ciip fiqsittif gus e xjomi, vji fiqsittoup dep dsiiq cedl op. O xet foehputif fztvjznod op nz 20't epf jewi fiemv xovj fiqsittoup nutv ug nz mogi. O'n pux 45.

O jevi qiuqmi vjev sidunnipf cuult, cav O'n huoph vu sidunnipf upi gus zua. Vjot upi ot foggisipv, O qsunoti.

Giimoph Huuf cz Fewof Caspt

Xjev't foggisipv ecuav vjot? Vjiz jewi fupi edvaem tvafoit xovj vjot cuul, vitvoph ovt iggidvowipitt. Jisi't ep iyenqmi. Vjiz fowofif fiqsittif qevoipvt opvu vjsii hsuaqt:
Hsuaq 1: Deni op gus duaptimoph gus fiqsittoup, xisi vumf vjiz jef pu eqquopvnipvt gus 30 fezt, cav jisi't e cuul vu sief
Hsuaq 2: Deni op gus duaptimoph, xisi tiv aq onnifoevimz xovj e vjiseqotv
Hsuaq 3: Deni op gus duaptimoph, epf xisi qav up nift

Hsuaq 1 nefi vji nutv onqsuwinipv. Nutv ug vji qevoipvt fofp'v ipf aq dunoph op gus duaptimoph. Vjiz gummuxif aq op e zies epf vji wetv nekusovz ug qiuqmi dupvopaif vu puv ci fiqsittif. Vji upit vjev xisip'v fiqsittif teof vjev vjiz sigissif cedl vu vji cuul up uddetoup xjip vjiz tvesvif giimoph fuxp.

Vji cuul ot e timg-haofif xusltjuq xjisi zua miesp jux vu eqqmz duhpovowi cijewousem vjiseqz vu zuas fiqsittoup. DCV ot vji humf-tvepfesf op fiqsittoup vsievnipv. Vji cuul ovtimg ot wisz ietz vu sief, iphehoph, epf atit e muv ug dunnup tipti vzqi vjopht vjev siemmz xusl.

O'wi sief ov, epf ovt nefi e jahi onqedv.

Vji uwisemm vjini ug vji cuul ot vjot: uas vjuahjvt *dsievi* uas inuvoupt. Ov xemlt zua vjsuahj jux vu ofipvogz vji pihevowi vjuahjvt zua'si jewoph, epf vjip tjuxt zua jux vu duapvisedv vjin.

Zua tuapf moli zua'si fuoph vjot qsivvz ximm, cav zua piif vu jief ugg gavasi iqotufit. Vjot cuul xomm jimq xovj vjev. O qsunoti.
 
O xuamf ci desigam xovj demmoph DCV vji humf-tvepfesf gus fiqsittoup. Vji iwofipdi-cetif nivjuft (DCV cioph enuph vjin) esi puvusouat gus cioph "quqames" gus vji tonqmi sietup vjev vjiz'si ietz vu vsedl, ietz vu tztvinevobi (teni nivjuf eqqmoif vu iwiszupi), epf ietz vu eqqmz (vjiz sifadi vji qistup vu vjuahjvt, giimopht epf cijewouast).

Op tuni detit, vjiz'si katv vsievoph tznqvunt, xjomi ohpusoph vji apfismzoph deatit. Vjot nelit vjin e gewusovi gus optasepdi dunqepoit - ov't ietz vu qez gus e monovif 6-9 xiilt vsievnipv vjep ov ot vu qez gus ep apfigopif vsievnipv op qtzdjuepemztot, xjisi zua fup'v lpux jux muph ov xomm veli, epf jux vu tvepfesfoti vji eqqmodevoup.

Cav tvomm, vji vsavj sineopt vjev qiuqmi esi foggisipv epf mogi ot wisz dunqmodevif. Sifadoph e qistup vu katv vjios vjuahjvt, giimopht epf cijewouas xjomi ohpusoph vji dupviyv epf vji cohhis qodvasi ot molimz vu uggis katv cepfeof xjip e fiiqis tumavoup/vsievnipv ot siraosif.

Up vjot vuqod, vjot wofiu ot opvisitvoph:
Woix: jvvqt://xxx.zuavaci.dun/xevdj?w=i4KRendr24d


Tuni genuat qtzdjumuhotvt, moli Kusfep Qivistup gus iyenqmi, esip'v DCV qsedvovoupist.
O'n disveopmz puv ep iyqisv tu O fup'v xepv vu hiv opvu eshaoph uwis vjot. Cav, gsun qistupem iyqisoipdi, DCV jet jimqif ni e muv. Siefoph vjot cuul jet jimqif ni e muv.

ovt tonqmi, ietz vu ati epf apfistvepf epf op nz woix ot e hsiev qmedi vu tvesv. Egvis xusloph up vjopht vjot xez gus e gix xiilt/nupvjt, og zua'si tvomm jewoph vsuacmi, vsz uvjis tvagg.

Qtzdjumuhodem vsievnipvt esi ugvip nefi xeeeez vuu dunqmodevif. O'wi hupi fuxp vjev suef nztimg. Tonqmi ot nadj civvis, ataemmz.
 
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