How to fix speed-dating?

[Frances Kelleher]

Hey everyone!

Two days ago I’ve visited my first ever speed-dating event. And it was a very disappointing experience. A bunch of skinny shy nerd guys and overweight 30+ girls with lists of psy-disorders longer than “War and Peace” with some organizers added just to keep gender balance. I truely expected something different.

When I got home, my brain cells started to work. This is a business, right? And it even makes some money (we all payed 100 NIS to get there). So what is wrong that guys like me are so disgusted?

For me, I went there for 2 main reasons. Fistly, concentration. As an entrepreneur, I possess some freedom over my time, but I am also consumed with my work and an opportunity to meet lots of new people in a short time is HUGE.

Secondly, intention. I do not have any problem approaching girls anywhere, but I do have ethical problems with approaching them with sexual intention in the middle of something. I would not be wanting to be approached like that while on commute or at an activity, so I do not think it is appropriate for me to do it. And speed-dating basically solves the problem as everyone there basically concsented that they came to meet and mate.

And instead of dedicated, tight-scheduled and intentional people I got a bunch of shy and unattractive people just too scared to get something else.

So I am wandering - how one could make speed-dating more like I imagined? Or is it just me who wants this strange thing with strange values?

I can promise you apps work and are a fantastic tool for people who have little time.Let me be clear-I work for no dating app ,and have said no to a couple who asked to work with me , as our values were not aligned. This is just my experience with having my clients use them correctly.

We have had 5 engagements,one wedding and 7 long term relations last year alone and these were ALL from the apps. No one met in person.These are the only ones I know about as I reached out asking my clients how they were getting on since we worked together.One man was 35 ,was never on a date with a girl in his life,was never on an app in his life.Two months after we worked together he met a fabulous girl,9 months later they were engaged.They are getting married this year.

Its hard to go out alone and have fun when your over 30 and all your friends are married,having kids or shacked up with someone. Where as on the apps you sit at home ,eating your dinner and have access to a sea of women .They are amazing, once you know how to use them correctly.
This is why it kills me so much that people can't meet someone on them because all they need is the blueprint to meet quality people. If you don't know how to drive, you don't blame the car. Its the same thing.

A girl in Ireland is now doing a thing like walking speed dating which I think is better than normal speed dating.People go somewhere scenic for a walk and they have 10 mins talking to everyone on the walk.Its less pressure and you make friends too there so you could have people to socialise with to meet girls in real life.

All I want to get for my clients is results so they can be as happy as me and all they care about is can I crack the whip.I care about feed back and evidence and that a blueprint works and I can promise you the apps work when you know how to drive them. Test them for yourself and see.Good luck with it all!

 

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