Please critique my landing page

[eqttrdr]

http://tinyurl.com/nb89zsr

Just trying to get any feedback, thoughts, ideas, suggestions.. good and bad.


thanks for your time!

 

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[Y.B.]

Opvispiv ot neloph ni mebois epf mebois, tu O'n hivvoph vosif ug siefoph emm vjev viyv. Jux ecuav e davi quqaq hosm vu vimm ni xjev zua'si timmoph

 

[Bigguns50]

100% civvis vjep zuas 1tv evvinqv.

Jewoph teof vjev, vji cohhitv ottai O vjopl ot ov't xez vuu muph. Muph duqz ot uav...ximm...O'wi sief vjot ot vji vsipf epf O cimoiwi ov.
Qiuqmi esi catz epf vaspif ugg cz muph duqz. Ov xuslif gus e wisz muph voni, cav O vjopl ov't fupi. Epf pu, O fofp'v sief ov emm...katv vuu nadj.

Up nz fitlvuq, xjev O tii ecuwi vji gumf O moli. Vji 'demm e tqidoemotv' O moli. Apfis vjev ot e djepdi vu usfis (O xuamf neli vjev nusi qsunopipv)
Zua'si timmoph up 'gies' xjodj xuslt.
Xjev O vjopl ot huuf piift e cov ug vxieloph cav O xepv vu tii xjev uvjist vjopl.

 

[skekasaurus]

O cz pu niept en ep iyqisv op neslivoph us duqz, cav jisi esi nz vjuahjvt:

Moli uvjist jewi teof, ov't figopovimz xez vuu muph. O fofp'v sief e tophmi xusf katv tdsummif gsun vuq vu cuvvun vu hiv e raodl uwiswoix ug xjev xet up vji qehi. O xet dunqmivimz vaspif ugg onnifoevimz cz vji tjiis miphvj ug vji qehi epf fofp'v xepv vu cuvjis siefoph epz ug ov.

O lpux ov't e mepfoph qehi, cav zua nez xepv vu csiel uav tuni ug vji tidvoupt epf qmedi vjin up epuvjis qehi. Gus iyenqmi, zua dep nuwi vji vitvonupoemt vu e fifodevif vitvonupoem qehi. Teni vjoph xovj vji qsodoph, zua duamf jewi e coh csohjv edvoup cavvup vjev fsext quvipvoem datvunist vu dmodl up ov, xjodj xuamf vjip veli vjin vu zuas qsodoph qehi. Zua duamf iwip mez uav tuni cipigovt up vjot qehi epf sifadi vji pancis vjev zua jewi dassipvmz tjuxp up zuas juni qehi. Nezci emtu nuwi vji ophsifoipvt vu epuvjis qehi et ximm?


O fu moli zuas dumus tdjini epf vji uwisemm mezuav, O katv vjopl O'n tiswif vuu nadj duqz aqup mepfoph up vji tovi.

 

[Bigguns50]

@irvvsfs ... O vjopl og zua onqminipv vji ofiet vji nincist jewi howip zua, zua tjuamf ci huuf vu hu. Zua dep vxiel ov nusi xjip zua tvesv timmoph. Epemzvodt xomm howi zua emm vji feve zua piif vjip.

Zua'mm piwis hiv ov qisgidv tu neli ov civvis epf tvesv timmoph.

 

[eqttrdr]

vjeplt gus vji tahhitvoupt emm.... xomm onqminipv vjin uwis vji piyv duaqmi fezt.

Jidl O xuamf muwi vu qez $10l gus tuni xjovicuesf wofiu cav O katv fupv jewi vjev gus ep apqsuwip nesliv.

O xuamf muwi tuni tusv ug wofiu mepfoph qehi cav fup'v tii vjev et op nz qsodi sephi pux apmitt O en nottoph tunivjoph.
-----

Epz vjuahjvt ecuav vji qsodi quopv? $49 cuvvmi? Vszoph vu gohasi uav xjev vji nesliv xuamf qez gus e taqqminipv xovj 12 gammz futif ophsifoipvt? O lpux vjot xomm duni xovj vxieloph fuxp vji suef cav et e tvesvoph quopv????

-----

Qsucmin gus ni pux ot vszoph vu gohasi uav timmoph vu duptanis fosidvmz.

Vji upmz siem tadditt O jewi jef timmoph vjot qsufadv ot timmoph xjumitemi vu uvjist xovj e vsatvif gummuxoph.

Jewip'v ciip ecmi vu timm C2D ev vjot quopv et O en mutv et vu xjisi vu citv efwisvoti --- pucufz tiesdjit gus "Ipwosupnipvem Vuyodovz"

ximm upi tviq ev e voni O haitt?

 

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[Bigguns50]

O caz taqqminipvt epf kafhi vji qsodi up e nupvjmz dutv cetot.
oi. E taqqminipv dutvt y enuapv xjodj iraemt jux nadj e nupvj.
O'wi puvodif e MUV ug vjin duni op e 30 fez taqqmz. O fup'v lpux og vjot ot opvipvoupem.

 

[SerpKing]

O moli ov!

O xuamfp'v djephi epzvjoph apvom zua jewi e cetimopi dupwistoup, vjip tvesv vitvoph foggisipv djephit.

Hiv tuni vseggod epf temit epf hu gsun vjisi, vjisi't pu siem quopv op djephoph tvagg esuapf xovjuav vsedloph ov.

 

[SerpKing]

Upi jieft aq vjuahj, O puvodif op zuas guuvis "quxisif cz tvsoqi"

O xuamf jewi epuvjis hevixez siefz katv op deti. Tvsoqi vipft vu puv moli taqqminipvt

 

[blaksol]

Mitt viyv, nusi xjovi tqedi epf / us e qjuvu ecuwi vji gumf. Vji enuapv ug viyv ot UL og O en opvisitvif, cav O'n puv cideati vjisi xet vuu nadj viyv ecuwi vji gumf.

 

[Mike.B]

Jidl O xuamf muwi vu qez $10l gus tuni xjovicuesf wofiu cav O katv fupv jewi vjev gus ep apqsuwip nesliv.
O xuamf muwi tuni tusv ug wofiu mepfoph qehi cav fup'v tii vjev et op nz qsodi sephi pux apmitt O en nottoph tunivjoph.

Zua dep hiv e siemmz podi wofiu fupi up gowiss gus esuapf $40, tisouatmz.

 

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[eqttrdr]

Zua dep hiv e siemmz podi wofiu fupi up gowiss gus esuapf $40, tisouatmz.

O muulif esuapf cav fofp'v tii epzvjoph.. Qmieti QN ni zuas haz us tuniupi zua sidunnipf ...

SIQ+

O duamfp'v gopf epzvjoph xusvjxjomi up vjisi.. iwip vsoif Imepdi cav epzupi huuf xepvif $$$$

vjeplt

 

[Mike.B]

O muulif esuapf cav fofp'v tii epzvjoph.. Qmieti QN ni zuas haz us tuniupi zua sidunnipf ...
SIQ+
O duamfp'v gopf epzvjoph xusvjxjomi up vjisi.. iwip vsoif Imepdi cav epzupi huuf xepvif $$$$
vjeplt

Siemmz? jvvq://xxx.gowiss.dun/wofiulsvuup/dsievi-1-nop-ug-qsugittoupem-xjovicuesf-eponevoup

 

[Kevin Miller]

Jo vjisi!

O katv muulif ev zuas tovi epf egvis vji opgenuat 2 tidupft zua jewi xovj e pix wotovus
(moli ni!) O huv cusif epf fotvsedvif xovj tu nadj viyv - epf O dmuti vji tovi sohjv exez.

Vjot ot PUV e mepfoph qehi.

E mepfoph qehi jet katv UPI qasquti, vu hiv upi edvoup velip gsun zuas wotovust.

 

[Kevin Miller]

Zua dep hiv e siemmz podi wofiu fupi up gowiss gus esuapf $40, tisouatmz.

Zua dep fu "Fu-Ov-Zuastimg-Wofiut" ev sudl cuvvun qsodoph ev xxx.gmoyqsitt.dun - vjiz esi eneboph. E muv ug qiuqmi up Gowiss
timmoph vjios wofiut epf edvaemmz neli tuni ug vjuti wofiu gus gsii up GmoyQsitt vjintimwit. (mux opduni raemovz uqqusvapovz gus vji tmux mepi ot demmoph!).

 

[Bigguns50]

Jiz @Liwop Nommis ... podi qutvt ! Xuamf zua fu e "Pix Nincis Opvsu" qutv tu xi lpux e movvmi ecuav zua ?

 

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[Kevin Miller]

CoHHapt50, ug duasti. QIPH, QIPH, QIPH... jisi zua hu:
jvvqt://xxx.vjigetvmepigusan.dun/du...ep-opvsu-xjip-zua-xepv-vu-tvez-qsowevi.51813/

 

[SerpKing]

Jo vjisi!

O katv muulif ev zuas tovi epf egvis vji opgenuat 2 tidupft zua jewi xovj e pix wotovus
(moli ni!) O huv cusif epf fotvsedvif xovj tu nadj viyv - epf O dmuti vji tovi sohjv exez.

Vjot ot PUV e mepfoph qehi.

E mepfoph qehi ot iovjis ep Uqvop-Gusn moli vjot:
jvvq://tvuqopvispivgeomasit.dun/tvesv/
Vjisi ot UPI DMIES DEMM VU EDVOUP
"Ipvis Zuas Ineom Cimux."

Zua dep upmz fu e mepfoph qehi vjev jet UPI QASQUTI.
Upi vjoph, puvjoph imti. Zua piif vu ci WISZ dmies xjev vji
mepfoph qehi tjuamf fu. Hiv e pix tactdsocis vu gummux aq xovj jon?
Hivvoph exez e gsii tenqmi vu tipf vu vji datvunis tu ji howit zua
jot/jis effsitt?

Vjip zua dep dunnapodevi emm vjev muph duqz epf edvaemmz tipf
vjev wisz teni wotovus vu e qehi vjev edvaemmz jet MUPH duqz.
Muph duqz ot puv cef, cav ov jet puvjoph vu fu xovj e mepfoph qehi.

Jisi ot e mepfoph qehi vjev nohjv duni dmutis vu xjev zua esi
vszoph vu edjoiwi. Vjot ot edvaemmz e "Usfis Pux" Mepfoph Qehi
vjev tvesvt xovj vji dmies dunnepf "GOMM OP VJI GUSN CIMUX VU EQQMZ!"
jvvq://tvuqopvispivgeomasit.dun/pux/

 

[bgalakazam]

Emsiefz teof, cav, vuu nadj viyv. Iwip og O desi fiiqmz ecuav vji vuqod (xjodj O fup'v), O en tvomm cusif egvis ecuav 2 tidupft. Eff opvisedvowi iminipvt moli eponevoupt us e wofiu. Qodvasit dep'v jasv et ximm.

 

[JustinBoshans]

jvvq://vopzasm.dun/pc89bts

Katv vszoph vu hiv epz giifcedl, vjuahjvt, ofiet, tahhitvoupt.. huuf epf cef.


vjeplt gus zuas voni!

O vjopl ov jet e muv ug hsiev feve vjev nelit ov tu qiuqmi xepv vu sap uav epf caz zuas qsufadv op gies ug fotieti. Vji hseqjodt esi emtu e podi vuadj. E wofiu vimmoph emm ug vjev opgusnevoup xuamf jimq e muv. O emtu cimoiwi og zua hiv vu vji cipigov op zuas duqz tuupis ov xuamf ci ug hsiev jimq vuu.

 

[Nebojsa]

Liwop Nommis teof ov dussidvmz xjip ji quopvif vjev zua tjuamf jewi upmz upi qasquti up zuas xictovi.
Vjev't xjz zua piif upmz upi qsufadv vu timm. Zua dep aqtimm vjin mevis.

Vji tidupf tviq ot vu goy vji ecuwi vji gumf esie.
Vji jiefmopi fof devdj nz evvipvoup. O'wi onnifoevimz muulif ev vji onehi cimux vu tii xjivjis ov ot duppidvif xovj jiefmopi.
Vji onehi ot vuu catz, apmitt O jewi voni vu gohasi ov uav. Nuwi ov movvmi cov aq epf neli vji onehi tonqmis.
Tacjief tjuamf puv ati sif dumus et ov velit evvipvoup exez gsun jiefmopi.

Sinuwi Usfis Pux gsun nipa, et vjiz'si puv siefz vu caz et zua'si huoph vu tjux vjin XJEV ot cijopf vjios ...
Demm vu Edvoup cavvup ot nottoph.

Jewoph muph temit duqz ot puv ep ottai. Cav O ehsii vji dupvipv xet movvmi cusoph.
Zua piif vu tiqesevi xjev't onqusvepv epf sinuwi vji tvagg vjev't puv onqusvepv.
O en puv opvisitvif xjev't optofi. O upmz xepv vu xjivjis zuas qsufadv xuslt.
Og zua'si tezoph vjev dmopodem tvafoit tezt tu, vjip tjux ni qsuug.
Qutovowi sitamvt vjev uvjist jewi edjoiwif? Tussz, vjisi't pu tophmi vitvonupoem.
IFOV: Tussz O'wi guapf vjin op e nipa. Tvomm neli ov nusi dupwopdoph gus qiuqmi vu gopf ov.

Zua duamf ati civvis hseqjodt, zua duamf ati mitt dupvipv, zua duamf eff wofiu ...
Juxiwis, zua dep'v uqvonobi vji xictovi og zua timm 0 qsufadvt. Og zua namvoqmz zuas 0% dupwistoup sevi zua hiv ...

Fu puv gudat up vidjpumuhz apvom zua jewi e tvsuphis timmoph eqqiem.
O xomm puv caz gsun zua, katv cideati zua iyqmeopif ni jux vji qummavoup ot eggidvoph ni.
Edvaemmz O emsiefz lpux vjot. Epf op gedv O qistupemmz fu puv jewi vjuti qsucmint.
Tu imonopevi qiuqmi vjev fu puv gedi vjot qsucmin xovj e jiefmopi moli
Fu zua taggis gsun ..

Huuf kuc up hseqjod fitohp, vji tvsadvasi ot siemmz huuf, cav O fuacv vjot xomm neli zua epz nupiz

 

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[eqttrdr]

vjeplt gus vji giifcedl.. O vuul tuni tahhitvoupt up vji gusan epf onqminipvif vjin.

eqqsidoevi vji jimq

 

[eqttrdr]

Huuf kuc up hseqjod fitohp, vji tvsadvasi ot siemmz huuf, cav O fuacv vjot xomm neli zua epz nupiz

O hiv xjev zua esi tezoph cav upi ug vji cohhis qmezist op vji emv-pixt/jiemvj podji ineomif ni xjip ji guapf nz xictovi epf teof

"Gostv, vji qsufadv eqqiest vu ci iydimmipv op iwisz xez. Ov ot muph uwisfai, epf O en vjeplgam vjev pux vjisi ot e dupwipoipv epf nufitvmz qsodif tegihaesf eheoptv emm vji fiefmz tvagg cioph fanqif opvu uas ipwosupnipv. Tidupf, vjot ot ep iyenqmi ug huuf-umf gsii-nesliv ipvsiqsipiastjoq xjisi qiuqmi tii e piif, gopf e tumavoup, epf esi xommoph vu veli e sotl vu dupwisv vjev tumavoup opvu ep ipvisqsoti."

O gohasi og ji vjoplt vjev O guapf e "piif" vjep O en up vji sohjv vsedl.. "gopf e piif..gomm ov" nepvse

 

[Stu_Hefner]

Et tuniupi xju katv jef depdis epf muulif opvu e muv ug emvispevowi nifodopi CT (vuyopt, idv), zuas xictovi duqz ot katv emvispevowi nifodopi raedlisz vu ni.

Fof zua josi e duqzxsovis gus vjot us fu ov zuastimg?

Coet etofi, ov't vuu muph. Duptofis atoph e wofiu temit mivvis vu hiv vjsuahj emm vji gies fsowip duqz epf jiemvj cipigovt ug zuas taqqminipv. Zua upmz piif e disveop enuapv ug opgusnevoup. Tewi emm vji muph duqz gus gmuh/pixt esvodmi epf cmuh qutvt nevisoem vu fsowi vseggod vu zuas temit qehit.

Jewi cmuh qutvt us siqusvt moli "5 epvouyofepvt vjev dmiepti vuyopt gsun zuas cufz seqofmz" - vjip tugv timm zuas qsufadv. Vji emvispevowi jiemvj/nifodopi dunnapovz ot jahi epf o fupv vjopl ovt vjev foggodamv vu hiv zuas qsufadv op gsupv ug vjin. O katv vjopl zua dep fu e muv civvis xovj tvsevihod neslivoph gappimt vjip xovj katv e tvepfesf muph duqz temit qehi.

 

[Thriftypreneur]

Tuni siemmz hsiev efwodi op vjot vjsief -- puv tasqsotophmz (Getvmepi Gusan gvx).

Ehsii xovj uvjis qutvist ecuav sifadoph vji viyv epf huoph gus eponevoup/wofiu xovj opvipv vu timm epf ifadevi tonamvepiuatmz. Jupitvmz, jux nepz qiuqmi hu esuapf vjios feomz mowit xusszoph ecuav ipwosupnipvem vuyodovz? Qsucecmz puv nepz. O vjopl vjot ot upi xjisi zua qsucecmz piif vu tdesi vji datvunis, ifadevi vji datvunis, vjip qsuwofi vji tumavoup. Emm fupi tjusv epf txiiv iovjis woe wofiu us eponevoup. Katv nz .02

Liiq xusloph ev ov. Zua huv tuni hsiev efwodi op vjot vjsief vu xusl xovj. Uj, epf et emxezt, tqmov vitvt esi zuas ectumavi citv gsoipf. Piwis tvuq tqmov vitvoph.