I don't usually grocery shop, I instacart nearly everything. But this time I just swung by the store and went in.
I have a basket, filling it up. I was getting some extra BS, and it's not going to fit so I make a choice and take it out and just keep the basics.
I think to myself "life's kinda like that huh.."
I thought about how you choose. This or that. One or the other. Many things are at the expense of another, directly.
I thought about my fitness goals in that moment and put a few more things back. At first I just couldn't physically fit the stuff in there, but then I realized if I put my goals in that basket some of the other stuff wouldn't "fit" either.
*
Life is a big store.
We look and see the isles. Inside is everything you could want.
And yes, literally everything.
You are walking through with a giant cart. You're so excited.
Everything that catches your eye you throw in.
You grab the shiny stuff first. It catches your eye...it spikes your emotions. You throw it in the cart.
You grab the things that feel good, toss em in.
You have so much room, you can still fit all the essentials.
You fit all the things in that you wanted.
But you hear rumors. People say someone who left was told they couldn't take it all.
*
And as you go to leave, and the same thing happens. The 'big man in charge' stops you, shakes his head, and hands you a basket.
You're forced to sit there and shift through everything in your giant cart.
Everything was in there, and I mean everything.
Things you didn't even think about.... things like your favorite hobbies.
Things like basic health.
Things like sleep.
Like real...real basic, foundational shit....
There was a lot of bullshit in there too...
You throw a fit and say "THAT'S NOT FAIR" and he doesn't care. No whining or complaining will get you past the door.
There's a whole group of people sitting by the exit throwing the same fit, you don't know how long they've been there....
*
You pick up things and sift through them and hold them in your hands.
"Eating whatever you want" in one hand.
"Looking the way you want" in the other.
Just one of many examples.
You go through and carve out so much. Some things in your cart were just there to fill up space. Some things meant a lot to you.
You toss out a few hobbies.
Couple of shallow relationships.
It's looking a little lean now. But everything's okay. You still have room for some good things, the essentials, and your big goals.
*
He shakes his head again, and hands you an even smaller basket.
"wow...what the hell? How am I supposed.....damn.....okay"
You take out more things. You dump out a little "time with loved ones" and throw out another hobby.
But it happens again. He keep's shrinking your damn basket.
"You're F*cking kidding me".
You keep throwing things out. Things you said you would never give up.
After enough of these cycles, you aren't even surprised anymore.
You know what's coming. It doesn't even bother you.
Another head shake.
Another smaller basket.
"Yeah I know the drill...."
*
I'm not going to finish the story because in life it doesn't end. It feels like a cliffhanger because that is exactly how life is.
You do not know yet what will be necessary to pass through those doors.
You walk through the store all young and starry eyed.
You can have it all.
You hear whispers of sacrifice but think you are different. It can't apply to you. There's a cart right in front of you. You assume they just had some bad luck. You spend another hour eating junk food, playing video games, AND designing what color your Lambo will be. You ponder the practicalities of where you'll store your private jet if you live out in the alps with your virgin Slovenian model wife. Somehow you'll find time to pay attention to her while hanging out with your old friends and eat pizza while you also have a six pack. The perfect life awaits. No time to listen to the negative Nancy stories about sacrifice and choice.
And every time you do not get what you want, you are getting your cart shrunk.
You do not get to have your cake and eat it too.
There is no clear answer what you can actually take through that door.
It is an experiment and you find out by trying.
People instinctively know they must give up things and they usually know exactly what things will need to be traded, but they don't want to accept it.
We go for years like this in a cycle of wanting more than we can fit, knowing deep down it will need to be sacrificed, but we hope it isn't that way.
We fill up our cart because we are delusional.
We don't empty it out because we don't want to be a fool.
We don't want to dump everything out and walk out missing out on a whole cart of everything we wanted.
How embarrassing... you "sacrifice" it all and you didn't have to... Nobody wants that.
So we cling to our cart and hope we leave with it.
At the end, you know what 99% of people do?
The crazy goal takes up everything so they have to leave it behind.
The basket is filled with mountains of little toys, trinkets, snacks and dopamine hits.
The big goal, unfortunately, is huge. It's a cold, big, bowling ball.
It's okay, in taking out the bowling ball people can fit all the things they want and pepper in a bunch of excuses and walk out somewhat happy.
*
When you are filling your cart to the brim, you have hope.
The man who has shaved everything off, dumped every non-essential thing and has nothing else to leave behind has no hope.
He's walking out with essentially one big thing and a couple of things in his pockets.
We go through life all starry-eyed and young, putting everything in our cart.
Your basket shrinks. Another time. More rounds...
"I get it now...."
At some point you just set down the cart.
Pickup the one big thing you wanted.
And walk through.
Nothing shiny catches your eye anymore. You already know the drill.
You used to spend a bunch of time imagining. A bunch of time getting distracted.
Because what else can you do when there's a giant cart, everything you wanted, and hope?
The hopeless man succeeds because nothing glitters, he just has the thing he came for and nothing else. He's got the 1000 yard stare.
In real life, things make sense. Every time I head about someone's story of success, it makes sense.
You want things that don't add up. Your story ends with "and then everything worked out".
*
Is it really that extreme?
It depends. How rare of a life do you really want to live?
And THAT'S why we end up somewhere in the middle.
10 Million is not that much.
A 6-pack is not crazy.
You can have many things and a great life can be pretty full.
You can be fit, pretty rich, do cool stuff, enjoy life. That's actually not that hard. Trade away the moron shit and you're basically there. Read some books, do some pushups.
I promise. You can do it in your 20's even.
There's many times I've traded and chooses quick pleasures, other things, and being well rounded.
And still had room for some success.
The trick is that things don't always cost "the thing you want" 100%. It's not reversed perfectly where you have to be miserable.
That would be solipsistic. The world doesn't revolve around you. You can be miserable, sacrifice everything, AND be unsuccessful. (nightmare scenario!)
You don't lose weight because the food was unappetizing. I imagine a guy eating a literal 'dog shit' diet. Don't be dog shit guy. You are not rewarded inversely to your pain.
You don't get rich by being lonely.
But when you eat the right foods it probably won't taste like pizza and donuts.
And when you build value for the marketplace you probably will not be hanging out with friends all day.
At some point you have to lose some hope that you will have it ALL.
It is a deep, emotional thing.
Because the things we want are close to us. They are deep and emotional.
Literally the things you would yell about and say "IM NOT GIVING THAT UP".
Those things are the biggest.
...
Your basket will shrink.
You will have to look at what you want, say "I understand it now...." and pick up your own "essentials"..
And walk out the store.
I have a basket, filling it up. I was getting some extra BS, and it's not going to fit so I make a choice and take it out and just keep the basics.
I think to myself "life's kinda like that huh.."
I thought about how you choose. This or that. One or the other. Many things are at the expense of another, directly.
I thought about my fitness goals in that moment and put a few more things back. At first I just couldn't physically fit the stuff in there, but then I realized if I put my goals in that basket some of the other stuff wouldn't "fit" either.
*
Life is a big store.
We look and see the isles. Inside is everything you could want.
And yes, literally everything.
You are walking through with a giant cart. You're so excited.
Everything that catches your eye you throw in.
You grab the shiny stuff first. It catches your eye...it spikes your emotions. You throw it in the cart.
You grab the things that feel good, toss em in.
You have so much room, you can still fit all the essentials.
You fit all the things in that you wanted.
But you hear rumors. People say someone who left was told they couldn't take it all.
*
And as you go to leave, and the same thing happens. The 'big man in charge' stops you, shakes his head, and hands you a basket.
You're forced to sit there and shift through everything in your giant cart.
Everything was in there, and I mean everything.
Things you didn't even think about.... things like your favorite hobbies.
Things like basic health.
Things like sleep.
Like real...real basic, foundational shit....
There was a lot of bullshit in there too...
You throw a fit and say "THAT'S NOT FAIR" and he doesn't care. No whining or complaining will get you past the door.
There's a whole group of people sitting by the exit throwing the same fit, you don't know how long they've been there....
*
You pick up things and sift through them and hold them in your hands.
"Eating whatever you want" in one hand.
"Looking the way you want" in the other.
Just one of many examples.
You go through and carve out so much. Some things in your cart were just there to fill up space. Some things meant a lot to you.
You toss out a few hobbies.
Couple of shallow relationships.
It's looking a little lean now. But everything's okay. You still have room for some good things, the essentials, and your big goals.
*
He shakes his head again, and hands you an even smaller basket.
"wow...what the hell? How am I supposed.....damn.....okay"
You take out more things. You dump out a little "time with loved ones" and throw out another hobby.
But it happens again. He keep's shrinking your damn basket.
"You're F*cking kidding me".
You keep throwing things out. Things you said you would never give up.
After enough of these cycles, you aren't even surprised anymore.
You know what's coming. It doesn't even bother you.
Another head shake.
Another smaller basket.
"Yeah I know the drill...."
*
I'm not going to finish the story because in life it doesn't end. It feels like a cliffhanger because that is exactly how life is.
You do not know yet what will be necessary to pass through those doors.
You walk through the store all young and starry eyed.
You can have it all.
You hear whispers of sacrifice but think you are different. It can't apply to you. There's a cart right in front of you. You assume they just had some bad luck. You spend another hour eating junk food, playing video games, AND designing what color your Lambo will be. You ponder the practicalities of where you'll store your private jet if you live out in the alps with your virgin Slovenian model wife. Somehow you'll find time to pay attention to her while hanging out with your old friends and eat pizza while you also have a six pack. The perfect life awaits. No time to listen to the negative Nancy stories about sacrifice and choice.
And every time you do not get what you want, you are getting your cart shrunk.
You do not get to have your cake and eat it too.
There is no clear answer what you can actually take through that door.
It is an experiment and you find out by trying.
People instinctively know they must give up things and they usually know exactly what things will need to be traded, but they don't want to accept it.
We go for years like this in a cycle of wanting more than we can fit, knowing deep down it will need to be sacrificed, but we hope it isn't that way.
We fill up our cart because we are delusional.
We don't empty it out because we don't want to be a fool.
We don't want to dump everything out and walk out missing out on a whole cart of everything we wanted.
How embarrassing... you "sacrifice" it all and you didn't have to... Nobody wants that.
So we cling to our cart and hope we leave with it.
At the end, you know what 99% of people do?
The crazy goal takes up everything so they have to leave it behind.
The basket is filled with mountains of little toys, trinkets, snacks and dopamine hits.
The big goal, unfortunately, is huge. It's a cold, big, bowling ball.
It's okay, in taking out the bowling ball people can fit all the things they want and pepper in a bunch of excuses and walk out somewhat happy.
*
The greatest thing that can happen to you is when you become hopeless.
When you are filling your cart to the brim, you have hope.
The man who has shaved everything off, dumped every non-essential thing and has nothing else to leave behind has no hope.
He's walking out with essentially one big thing and a couple of things in his pockets.
We go through life all starry-eyed and young, putting everything in our cart.
Your basket shrinks. Another time. More rounds...
"I get it now...."
At some point you just set down the cart.
Pickup the one big thing you wanted.
And walk through.
Nothing shiny catches your eye anymore. You already know the drill.
You used to spend a bunch of time imagining. A bunch of time getting distracted.
Because what else can you do when there's a giant cart, everything you wanted, and hope?
The hopeless man succeeds because nothing glitters, he just has the thing he came for and nothing else. He's got the 1000 yard stare.
In real life, things make sense. Every time I head about someone's story of success, it makes sense.
You want things that don't add up. Your story ends with "and then everything worked out".
*
Is it really that extreme?
It depends. How rare of a life do you really want to live?
And THAT'S why we end up somewhere in the middle.
10 Million is not that much.
A 6-pack is not crazy.
You can have many things and a great life can be pretty full.
You can be fit, pretty rich, do cool stuff, enjoy life. That's actually not that hard. Trade away the moron shit and you're basically there. Read some books, do some pushups.
I promise. You can do it in your 20's even.
There's many times I've traded and chooses quick pleasures, other things, and being well rounded.
And still had room for some success.
The trick is that things don't always cost "the thing you want" 100%. It's not reversed perfectly where you have to be miserable.
That would be solipsistic. The world doesn't revolve around you. You can be miserable, sacrifice everything, AND be unsuccessful. (nightmare scenario!)
You don't lose weight because the food was unappetizing. I imagine a guy eating a literal 'dog shit' diet. Don't be dog shit guy. You are not rewarded inversely to your pain.
You don't get rich by being lonely.
But when you eat the right foods it probably won't taste like pizza and donuts.
And when you build value for the marketplace you probably will not be hanging out with friends all day.
At some point you have to lose some hope that you will have it ALL.
It is a deep, emotional thing.
Because the things we want are close to us. They are deep and emotional.
Literally the things you would yell about and say "IM NOT GIVING THAT UP".
Those things are the biggest.
...
Your basket will shrink.
You will have to look at what you want, say "I understand it now...." and pick up your own "essentials"..
And walk out the store.
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