Why only certain people "enjoy" the process? (Or is it something else?)

[ApeRunner]

I'm much less motivated to work now than when I was struggling to make money.

Legendary advice.

 

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[LeoistheSun]

For me, the process wasn't any more or less enjoyable based on how much money I was making. Sure, more money is more better, but if anything, like MTF said above, the more money I was making, the less motivated I was. In other words, this is the most motivated you're likely to ever get. If you're not currently motivated (and excited) about getting up everyday and being an entrepreneur, you likely never will be.

If that's the case, perhaps entrepreneurship isn't for you? Or perhaps the specific business you're working on isn't for you?

Life is short -- when you have the option, choose something that will make you happy over something that won't...

I'm happy and motivated when I am doing something that benefits others. Its something that took me along time to figure out, and something that until recently I hadn't known.

 

[devingisraving]

I hear successful entrepreneurs say it quite a lot on motivation youtube videos or seminars.
Instead of focussing on the end goal, enjoy the journey and process along the way they say.

Personally for the majority of people in business i think it's bullshit. If you're just starting out in business and you're all excited about how much money you're going to make, or how you are going to change people's lives, give them value etc then yes i believe you will enjoy the "initial" process.

If you're making $25,000 a month or whatever your desired figure is then yes i believe you will be enjoying the daily process.

For anybody else, especially those who have been in the process for a number of years when the initial excitement has long gone and you've not reached your desired level, i believe the process becomes akin to those who go to work for somebody else every day.

It's Monday morning now, it's raining as usual and i've just taken kids to school. I'm just about to go on my daily 3m run then i will sit down and start work for the day. I can work from home or go to the office, which is exactly how i like to work compared to having to sit in a car stuck in traffic like a lot of people. So that side is all well and good.

However i wouldn't say i'm going to exactly "enjoy" what i'm going to do today. I don't look forward to sitting at my screen all day whilst the rain pounds against my window. Sure it's better than a lot other alternatives and i don't wish to sound ungrateful but if i had woken up this morning and seen that i'd made my desired target X amount of sales would i enjoy the process a lot more? Hell yes.

If i could afford to spend every school holiday away in the sun somewhere, drive a Range Rover, not have my wife work, be debt free etc how would i feel about spending this very same Monday. It would be great. I wouldn't want to do anything different.

Unless someone can perform a mindset change on me without evasive surgery i personally don't believe it's possible to enjoy the process unless you're a startup or have a desired financial income.

Look to be honest I believe to enjoy the process, one must enjoy what he initially does or just change his mindset. If what you like to do is go out and interact with people then start a business that is related to communication and interviews or whatever. The grind must be something that you are eager to do when you wake up. Money may come soon or never come, your main goal must be to make a legacy. If things aren't working out change your approach. You will always find a way tho. I would really like to engage with you on a conversation about this. Hope you enjoy your day.

 

[Niptuck MD]

it has to do with the deconditioning of years of belief “security” and “soldification” and belief in a formula that if one does, A+B then it must equal C.

This is root that has no set formulas. No set rules nor instructions. THe only data we have is FAILURE and resources like this forum that has documentation of OTHER FAILURES....

 

[LuckyPup]

The problem is the event driven approach described in Unscripted . If you do your running and fasting for your goal "to be more healthy, thinner,..." you aren't enjoying the process.

The process to your goal will only make you happy if you'll be able to find joy in sports, healthy eating, to forgo,....
Try to appreciate these actions, not for the sake of getting closer to you goal, only for the action itself. You can actively learn to enjoy activities you didn't like in the first place.

Learning to enjoy the process which brings us to our goal is the healthiest way to reach our goal finally.

I can highly recommend the classic book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People"

As the SEALs put it, learn to "embrace the suck." I second the "7 Habits."

 

[Dami-B]

Enjoy the results your processes create.

For me, writing blog posts can be daunting, but knowing someone could get a job from reading that blog post gives me satisfaction.

I like the idea of being a hero to someone else, I like the idea of mastering my skillsets so that I can show another person the way.

 

[luniac]

Diamonds probably don't enjoy the process either....

But that pressure is ultimately what causes that rock to shine.

LMAO that's hilarious.

no man diamonds are slowlane!

Cubic Zirconium diamond machines are fastlane

 

[Yoda]

Many years of team racing, marathons, adventure runs.

No Western States 100? No UTMB?

Come back when you've done something.

 

[dimavdis]

I think you should find your own motives, those that will keep you going for the day/week/month/year/life. Apparently those motives will be changing as time passes and as your perspective on life/happiness also changes and you have to find them by yourself. I would say it is a battle against yourself, which you have to win. The most important battles within each person's lifes is with his own self. Winning those battles will lead you to your goals.

 

[letter9]

I dunno man, I've struggled with the same feelings you have most of my life.

I've traveled a LOT...boring.

Nice cars...boring.

I took home about $80,000 last month...boring.

The only thing that worked for me was finding a "why" that was bigger than myself.

My kids. Charity work. My God. All bigger than myself. But still not enough...

My "why" ended up being the process itself.



This ^^^^

Great post!

For me it's about process, trying and building new things and competing.
Money is just a measure of success in business game.
But they are not important on their own.
I am coming from relatively wealthy family, and was offered money and help many times, but left to another country when turned 21 - just to try achieve everything myself.

 

[Thoelk]

atm my reality involves taking a bus, train and having to walk by a lamborghini dealership frequently, it puts a bit of pain inside me and i feel like worthless scum riding the bus, i want to be the guy in a $500k+ lambo with nice clean clothes and a gorgeous woman with massive breasts sitting beside me.

It's not about what you want, it's about what you do... For what it's worth, if that's your (end-)goal of pursuing this road.. I'd suggest re-reading both books & comments of the most important posters here... I'd rather have as a goal: being able to take public transport/walk at my own pace, without having to hurry to be on time.. Because I'd have the freedom to do as I please.. a 500k car? I don't know, I don't see the benefit of it besides being a trophy to show what you've accomplished.. But that's still miles away, so no need to dream over these (for now) unreachable things.. Today is where it's at, and the process is what it's about.

 

[NVious]

Focus on improving your skillset

Focus on the grind

Focus on the fact in the long run you WILL approach 100% success rate

Achieve daily flow

NEVER stop learning

Be a learning machine-Munger

I personally fell into a deep depression and gained 100lbs not leaving my room, not showering, not doing anything, being a worthless sack of shit, why? 150 rejections over 3 months....sad

Me now? Approaching that number in 1.5 months with HIGH LEVEL people saying "we are 100% doing this" and then flaking, my mindset?

 

[Kevin88660]

There are a lot of philosophies on process and success but over the years I realized or to differentiate fads from truth.

Things and slogan like “follow your passion” and even “enjoy the process” are quarter truth (not even half) that make you avoid facing with the hard truth.

Growing up in an Asian environment allow me to critically access the self-help material in the Anglo-Saxon English speaking world from another cultural perspective. I feel that the greatest flaw in a lot of the the self help material or philosophies today (English based content) is always about “Having the Cake and wanting to eat it”. I think it probably traces back from the protestant tradition of having the desire to make money and still go to heaven.

Many want to be successful but they still are not willing to give up other superficial desires/identities. I am not talking about working 14 hours a day and not being able to see your kid. I am talking about other mumbo jumbo that are publicly respected “qualities” that people refuse to give up.

These are
-“Enjoying the process”. But most of the time you have to do whatever it takes.

- “Providing value and not about selfishly making money”. Yes even that to some extent is crap and can be applied in a way that is detrimental to the business person. There is somehow a perception that just being selfless for a long period of time there will be some cosmic karma that will naturally get you paid later. I am afraid that is very misleading. A business person always thinks about how to get himself paid. In thinking along that line inevitable he will exploring some ventures that has to providing value in a win-win manner. But you do not put your interest as priority, I realized NO ONE else in world will. This is not a charity.

-“Fear of losing individuality”. This is by far the biggest elephant in the room that no one talks about. “Be yourself”...no thats doesn't work, then “be the best version of yourself..” but why not just accept that you are a slut for success and do whatever it takes.






I think the hard truth is to get what you want, you have to do WHATEVER it takes and it is very often NOT ENJOYABLE. Books that teach you tactics reduce 20 percent of the pain if you apply them but you still have to Endure the 80 percent of the rest. If not you end up chasing fads gears after years.

 

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[Mckenzie]

I feel like you're confusing the word process with the word problem. And you might think it's semantics, but it's not. Language is SO important because the way we describe an experience becomes the experience.

This particular situation is what we call a problem. Sure it's a part of the greater process of building a business -- but that's what a business IS, finding solutions to problems and then delivering on that again and again and again.

Now the truth is you probably like dealing with some problems more than others, right?

You enjoy solving the problem of 'how do I collect money' or 'how do I ship this item' -- and I'm guessing you've already solved these problems. Or at least come up with a solution that's repeatable.

The challenge that you're having right now is frustrating and pissing you off because you haven't solved the problem yet.

And if I may be so bold -- the reason that is is because your emotional state in this moment is blocking your creativity -- blocking your resourcefulness.

When you're in a state of frustration, angry, lethargic, pissed off, overwhelmed, overloaded, sad, depressed you AREN'T going to come up with a bunch of different ways to solve the problem -- and this is where you are right now.

How do I know? Because if you only have 2 options -- you've failed. I don't know you so I don't mean to shove this in your face but from what I understand the only way you can solve the inventory problem is by paying the money... and the only way you can pay the money is if you get the inventory. No wonder you're in this zone!

If you were *in this moment* in an emotional state of gratitude, confidence, certainty, power, strength, happiness, joy, excited, motivated, creative -- you're going to say something like:

"Well what if I call the supplier and try to negotiate 90 day payments even though no one else has been able to do it?"
"What if I put this on a 0% interest credit card and then repay that in 90 days?"
"What if I ask a friend to invest for a couple of weeks while I solve this cashflow problem?"
"What if I find a different supplier that will work with me on this?"
"What if I can find a supplier that will supply smaller order sizes until I can afford a larger order?"
"What if I can partner with my supplier to create a win-win situation for us both?"
"What if I can partner with my customers to create a win-win situation?"

NOW you have options. When you have options you're in control. When you feel like you're in control? THAT'S when the process becomes fun. THAT'S where you turn this feeling of overwhelm into a feeling of POWER.

And if you think I'm just blowing smoke -- ask any of the top entrepreneurs on the forum here. The reason this community is so powerful is because when you're in a shitty emotional state you can call someone and say "hey man, I've got this problem. What do you think I can do?"

... which is kind of what you've done right here. Maybe the question in your next post should be "I'm having cashflow issues, what are some creative ways to solve it?" I guarantee you you'll find gold.

But last thing I'll say is that if you're in one of these negative emotional states you're going to respond to every one of those questions with:

"I can't. No one can. They said no. I don't have any friends. There aren't any suppliers. No one will do smaller order sizes. I can't partner with my supplier. I can't partner with my customer. That's stupid. That'll never work."

So to come full circle and answer the question one last time...

You've got to start from a place of gratitude, brother. If you aren't grateful for these problems you're having you have forgotten (in this moment) what a freaking awesome life you lead to be able to do something like this. Can you imagine the 60k-desk warriors who are going to be there for the rest of their lives until they get laid off? Can you imagine the people who can't start a business because they are terrified out of their wits at what you're facing now? You are a F*cking warrior -- a gladiator!

Look how much further ahead you are. Look at what you've already accomplished. Look at your mindset and how it's different than the vast majority of people around you. And then start to get grateful for the shit you've forgotten. Like your health, your family, your wealth, the roof over your head, the technology you didn't have to invent that you run your business on now -- hell the ability to HAVE a problem like you're currently having.

When you're grateful, when you're happy, when you're excited. You enjoy this thing we call a process.

No one said it would be easy. They only said it would be worth it.

Bump.
Thank you so much @Kung Fu Steve. Your posts in this thread are so important to me today. You just bent my head & turned it 180 degree the other way around! Thank you, thank you and thank you...
Also @Paul David , I really appreciate your OP, your honesty here. I can relate to most of what you described here. Any updates Paul? Thanks

 

[Paul David]

Interchange process with growth.

Process = Growth

When people say they enjoy the process, my belief is that they actually mean growth. The continuous improvement of your business. Achievement.

That achievement allows your brain to release certain chemicals like dopamine, allowing you to get pleasurable feelings from growth and achievement. If you're not achieving anything, and your brain is not releasing the necessary chemicals for "enjoyment", then you're not enjoying the process.

You need to focus on growth.

And if your brain is wired differently, and you don't enjoy growth, then you need to reconsider being an entrepreneur.

So essentially then it's a normal feeling to be downbeat when your business isn't "growing" ? I get a dopamine rush when i get an email saying New order. But it also works the opposite way. If i go a day without one i become anxious, and start asking questions such as "is this really a good idea" or "this isn't going to work". Maybe the negative talk stems from mistakes in business i've made in the past, and i've lost confidence in myself.

 

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[dru-man]

These videos were brilliant!

 

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[Paul David]

We spend most of our lives trying to escape our fear of death.

Why do we want to make money? To feel secure and live long.
Why do we want to be healthy? To feel secure and live long.
Why do we want to have good relationships? To feel secure and live long.

Feeling like we're escaping death gives us a certain pleasure which most people confuse with happiness. It's the rush we get from buying a new car or getting a new girl.

What happens once we make enough money is that we don't know what to do anymore because we're so used to running away from death. We're trying to avoid the fear of nothingness / purposelessness that's getting more and more present, the less we have to run away from. We search for meaning.

We start new businesses or project our desire for purpose into another area that we can improve on ("now that I have money, I can focus on getting the body of my dreams and THEN life will be perfect").

Of course, this also won't happen. If you are fortunate enough to be at this stage of life, then the solution is to stay with that fear until it's gone, without reacting to it. It's just a feeling and will cease after enough time spent with it. What comes afterward is the real joy.

How does that all relate to enjoying the process?

It's quite simple actually: Whenever you're still in the process of building your business, you're likely running away from death. Nobody enjoys running away from something, this is why the process can feel dreadful and motivation decreases.

Whenever you're not happy working, ask yourself "Is my real motivation to work right now to escape death?" (aka. make ends meet?). Most of the time, if not all the time, the answer will be a yes.

In this stage, if we exchange the running away from with a running toward, life changes.

If you're working for a higher goal than surviving, which also concerns other people ("I really want to teach X how to do Y, that's why I'm creating my course!"), then you need less will power to sit down and work.

If you, in addition, decide to spend time with your fear of death (or the more dominant manifestation of not making enough money), you have less and less to run away from and more and more to run toward.

Happiness increases, quality increases, output increases, income increases.

Are you using the reference to escaping death/living long as a metaphor or not?
I'll answer those questions you asked with my current mindset:

Why do we want to make money?
I want to make money because first of all i hate the fact that my Wife has to travel 40 mins to work to sit at a job each day she hates. She has to because we need the money. Secondly i want to make more money because whenever my children are off school or whenever i choose i want to leave this country and go somewhere else. Thirdly i want to make money because i want the freedom it will provide me to do whatever i want with my time regardless if it makes more money or not.

Why do we want to be healthy?
This of course is related to death. I do not want to die young, especially before my children are grown up. However the reason why i exercise every day is because i usually get to a point where my jeans are tight around my thighs (i put weight on thighs rather than stomach) and it annoys me so much i start cutting down. I also don't eat vegetables apart from peas really. I just don't like the taste. If i could eat they way i wanted and not put weight on would i exercise? Absolutely not. It's a means to an end.

Why do we want to have good relationships?
This is a difficult one for me. When i left school i worked for my Father in a scrap yard with him and two other men. After a few years i left and started my own computer shop where i worked on my own for years until i started getting help from a retired paramedic. I've had the odd other staff member of the years but thats about it. I closed the shop and sell 100% online and now i have two staff members, one of them is my brother. I work at home 4 days a week and during those days apart skype conversations i very rarely speak to or see other people except my wife and children. (apart from school run).

I watched Justin's youtube video above and although he lost me half way through i agree that we are always running towards things we deem make us happy.

Here's my day with the current processes and my ideal day with same processes but more earning more money.
Currently: 7.30am - 8.30am I get Kids up, breakfast, dress them and take to school.
9.00am - Home and 3 mile run in my garage on treadmill.
9.45am-10am Start working for the day, usually until 12.30pm-1pm then i'll have dinner at home alone.
1.30pm-5pm. Apart from Mondays when kids aren't in after school club i will work at my desk. Might have a ten minute look at Soccer websites at 3pm, local newspaper website. Then i'll go and pick kids up at 5pm.
5.30pm-8pm. Give kids tea, wife is usually in work so i'll have my tea with kids or after on my own. Shower or bath kids and put them to bed.
8pm-11.30pm I work downstairs on the sofa with my laptop whilst my wife watches the TV.
That's a general day Monday to Friday.

Now here's another way to spend the day with same business processes.
7.30am - 8.30am Kids up for school, breakfast, dress them and then my wife takes them to school whilst i do my 3m run.
9.00am - Start work for a few hours.
12.30pm-1pm Go out for lunch with my wife somewhere. Maybe a bit of shopping. Clothes etc.
4pm. Do another couple of hours work until around 6pm.
6pm Wife has done the tea, collected kids up from school.
8pm-11.30pm We could get a babysitter and go to the movies, watch a play, go for a few drinks. Or i could go back to work for a couple of hours. Unless there is a soccer match on or a good film watching TV bores me. I'd rather work.

 

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[Fortune5ive]

Anyone who says that bs already made their millions.

 

[mayRaS.P.B.]

I'm struggling with this a lot of parts of my life.

What helped me so far was to set process related goals instead of event related goals.

Short example from my training:
I always wanted to hold a handstand, becaus it's fun and cool. My goal was something like "hold it for 30sec" or "hold it for 1min", depending on how confident I was.
Naturally I failed to reach the goal with the first tries. And while I got better, I was still working towards that one point in time, that " would make me enjoy handstands more".

Not long ago, I realised it is not working this way. So I set the goal of "training everyday for 5min".
Now everytime I trained for 5min, I reached my goal and enjoyed it.
Naturally I became better. I might reach the 30sec stand faster with an event related goal, but this way I'm enjoying it more.


The real challenge is that event related goals are really important.
I can set the goal to " cold call for 1h a day" and enjoy the process - because I acomplish the goal every day.
But if I don't reach my event-goal of "10 new customers", the business would die.


I hope this helps you somehow!
~Ika

This is a really good way of thinking about the process. Thanks for sharing, I am going to try and apply this when setting my goals.

 

[maverick]

You go through life creating memories and anecdotes. Adversity builds character, achievements builds confidence and fortune build humbleness. That's why "the process" is so enjoyable.

 

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[furiousJ]

I Really like MJs analogy of the desert of desertion, having spent a long vacation there myself. Without feedback and validation it can be hard to stay motivated for a long period of time. The only thing I find that helps is taking whatever action is necessary at the moment.
*edit oops didn't read op, smh at myself

 

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[ruzara5]

i personally don't believe it's possible to enjoy the process

Sometimes the process is longer. If success is attained. Hooray. If it fails. Reflect and if possible analysis. There is that saying. 'Fall down seven times get up eight'. Also have some 'water' while going through the desert of desertification. Where a good hat. And enjoy the sunshine. It is sometimes a desert out there.

 

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[Matt Sun]

My brasilian yoga teacher has this podcast i listen to learn portuguese, and there is a story about a monk who was always happy, for 5 years always happy, ten, 20, 50 years. So his student asked him, how can you be so happy ?! He replied:
-Every morning I wake up and I realize I have a choice, I can be miserable or I can be happy.

Relating to this forum, MJ de Marco also talks about his FTE and that he realize he wasn't a looser, he was a chooser.

This is similar to yoga/ayurvedic philosophy.

For what i 've read you:

-have a father with 20+ property
-have a wife
-have a son

Honestly, the choice is yours.

 

[Brian Suh]

I hear successful entrepreneurs say it quite a lot on motivation youtube videos or seminars.
Instead of focussing on the end goal, enjoy the journey and process along the way they say.

Personally for the majority of people in business i think it's bullshit. If you're just starting out in business and you're all excited about how much money you're going to make, or how you are going to change people's lives, give them value etc then yes i believe you will enjoy the "initial" process.

If you're making $25,000 a month or whatever your desired figure is then yes i believe you will be enjoying the daily process.

For anybody else, especially those who have been in the process for a number of years when the initial excitement has long gone and you've not reached your desired level, i believe the process becomes akin to those who go to work for somebody else every day.

It's Monday morning now, it's raining as usual and i've just taken kids to school. I'm just about to go on my daily 3m run then i will sit down and start work for the day. I can work from home or go to the office, which is exactly how i like to work compared to having to sit in a car stuck in traffic like a lot of people. So that side is all well and good.

However i wouldn't say i'm going to exactly "enjoy" what i'm going to do today. I don't look forward to sitting at my screen all day whilst the rain pounds against my window. Sure it's better than a lot other alternatives and i don't wish to sound ungrateful but if i had woken up this morning and seen that i'd made my desired target X amount of sales would i enjoy the process a lot more? Hell yes.

If i could afford to spend every school holiday away in the sun somewhere, drive a Range Rover, not have my wife work, be debt free etc how would i feel about spending this very same Monday. It would be great. I wouldn't want to do anything different.

Unless someone can perform a mindset change on me without evasive surgery i personally don't believe it's possible to enjoy the process unless you're a startup or have a desired financial income.

Knowing my outcome the process doesn’t matter. The result is so juicy that I’ll do what it takes

 

[Solais]

I hear successful entrepreneurs say it quite a lot on motivation youtube videos or seminars.
Instead of focussing on the end goal, enjoy the journey and process along the way they say.

Personally for the majority of people in business i think it's bullshit. If you're just starting out in business and you're all excited about how much money you're going to make, or how you are going to change people's lives, give them value etc then yes i believe you will enjoy the "initial" process.

If you're making $25,000 a month or whatever your desired figure is then yes i believe you will be enjoying the daily process.

For anybody else, especially those who have been in the process for a number of years when the initial excitement has long gone and you've not reached your desired level, i believe the process becomes akin to those who go to work for somebody else every day.

It's Monday morning now, it's raining as usual and i've just taken kids to school. I'm just about to go on my daily 3m run then i will sit down and start work for the day. I can work from home or go to the office, which is exactly how i like to work compared to having to sit in a car stuck in traffic like a lot of people. So that side is all well and good.

However i wouldn't say i'm going to exactly "enjoy" what i'm going to do today. I don't look forward to sitting at my screen all day whilst the rain pounds against my window. Sure it's better than a lot other alternatives and i don't wish to sound ungrateful but if i had woken up this morning and seen that i'd made my desired target X amount of sales would i enjoy the process a lot more? Hell yes.

If i could afford to spend every school holiday away in the sun somewhere, drive a Range Rover, not have my wife work, be debt free etc how would i feel about spending this very same Monday. It would be great. I wouldn't want to do anything different.

Unless someone can perform a mindset change on me without evasive surgery i personally don't believe it's possible to enjoy the process unless you're a startup or have a desired financial income.

It's not something that can be rationalized. You have to go deep into the trenches and pull off a victory. That's where the reward lies.

 

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[MoneyHacker]

I recommend the book: Do things that don't scale

 

[DavidePaco00]

I try to look at a stoic/zen point of view towards the 'journey'.
You can look forward towards something, but also be in the 'present moment', meaning; not beating yourself up mentally over your external environment.

I don't want to always try to get to the next thing, without actually appreciating what I already have, and that can include struggle.

Exactly , I agree with You. Everyone should have an end goal, without falling in endless mental masturbation wich not only doesn't let You enjoy the moment, but also drains a ton of mental energy.

 

[KindlyCutTheCrap]

This is a very intereting discussion - it points to the underlying yearning for starting a business. Partly money, partly avoiding a boss/job that's unpleasant.

What I find works for me when I get despondent about what am I doing here? is to look for the good stuff coming in that I might be overlooking, e.g. did someone make you a cuppa and if so, notice that they took time out of their day to wish you to be more comfortable and at ease. Or, did someone write Thank you in an email, if so, they were showing you how much they appreciated your effort. Or, did the cat sidle up to you and seek your company, if so, they enjoy hanging out with you (they may also be telling you it's dinner time . Think back to yesterday or today and see whether anyone has done anything at all to make your life more pleasant or comfortable in some way. Simply notice.