Antifragile
Progress not perfection
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Anyone dealt with a patological narcissist as of late? I was unaware and got in some business “colaboration” with one, really it has been a horrible experience. It really seems like these people feel they are right in manipulating you with guilt and stuff. Even worst at first everything is great and they promise the world and so and almost deliver on it, but then after you are comited they show their true colors and the endless bullshit begin. They suck the joy out of your life like harry potter dementors or something. You know, that type of "people that you can't share good news with" cause they have to tell you about their own much better good news or how your news aren't really that good anyway, just sick people. Empatic people should be much more aware of this tipes of borderline psicopatic personalities, you can even be related by blood to them such as my case. Boy I'm happy my eyes are open thought. My quality of life is about to improve significantly after adressing this I hope.
Yes. I had a potential investor like that. We met, he was excellent all around, showered me with compliments and basically manipulated the meetings but I wasn't fully attune to this yet. I am no spring chicken by now, so there had been this this nagging feeling I couldn't shake that something wasn't quite right.
One meeting turned into 10, all excellent. Except the time to fund my deals was closing in fast and I I wasn't getting a firm commitment. I've danced with a few titans in the past and know that ignoring gut feelings is a bad idea. Instead, test assumptions!
This guy was supposed to invest with me mid-8 figures! Let that sink in for a moment. We are talking this deal for me being the largest deal I've ever put together by a factor of 5x from my 2nd largest. I wanted it really very much to come together and I was clinging to hope. Except for my gut feeling...
I called the next meeting and did the unthinkable, I forced commitment. It was a "shit or get off the pot" moment and all hell broke loose. How did I do it? I had my lawyers draft all the paperwork and come in with papers to sign. The guy blew up, like a powder keg on fire. There was name calling, pressure tactics, you name it - it was there. The weirdest meeting I've had in my business life - ever. Bottom line, he said that my structure doesn't work for him to the point of him walking away unless I reduced my company's compensation. I said "thank you for letting me know, this part of compensation is how I make my profits, it has been disclosed from day 1 and is not negotiable. It is also industry standard. I am glad we cleared it now while I still have other options, as my deadlines are pressing me to pick an investor". To which he said "I don't want you to have other options, I want you to deal with me"
I realized that I managed to disrupt his flow and let me show his true colours. The meeting was long, and in the end I said I'd get back to him. Two days later I wrote him a note rejecting his investment. He then went behind me to my other investors trying to collude! To my face he apologized for his behaviour and concurrently told me I was not a man of my word for not honouring him as investor because he thought he had a deal. He was even willing now to accept my terms. I still said "not this time, maybe in the future, thank you". I was polite and measured at all times.
The reason I kept saying "No" was because of the personality type. I now knew this individual would F*ck me the moment he had an opportunity. Trust was gone. These kinds of people cannot be controlled by legal paperwork or anything for that matter. They are to be avoided.
Fast forward to 6 months later... and life is better. Serendipitously I found a family office who took his spot and has even deeper pockets. Life has a way or working itself out, just listen to your gut.
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