Transform Your (Entrepreneurial) Mindset With Insights From Derek Sivers

[MTF]

I recently finished reading Derek Sivers' new book Useful Not True. I've found it very quotable, with lots of interesting, unique thoughts on how to change how you think about something—and choosing a more useful perspective.

Here are some of the best quotes and my comments. Some may be taken a little out of context as I didn't want to quote too much of the book.

People speak as if they’re stating facts. They say things like “You can’t do that” and “Here’s what women want”. But it’s just their current perspective. It’s their metaphorical time zone, which is probably different from yours.

They’re not wrong. It’s just not the only answer.

This is roughly the same thing I discussed in my recent thread GOLD! - MINDSET - Think for Yourself. No More Questions.. Whoever the person giving advice is, nobody gives 100% correct, universally applicable advice. There are always more answers.

Family, friends, colleagues, and communities put social pressure on you to do what they want you to do. They say it’s your obligation or your duty. But those terms are social expectations. They’re not real. They’re not even universal. They’re just one way to see the situation.

The people saying it’s your obligation really just want you to do something. But instead of saying “I want,” they blame a higher legitimacy. It’s manipulative. They say their wishes are laws you must obey.

This is essentially the message of Unscripted . As with the previous quote, people will try to impose their beliefs on you, maybe citing some higher purpose. But it's still just their opinion. Don't let social pressure destroy your dreams.

When I’m feeling troubled, it helps to look around at reality. Am I in physical danger? No. I’m in a room. I’m safe. It’s a reminder that the trouble is in my head.

So I get away from all people and media, to avoid all viewpoints, opinions, and drama. I shut off my devices. I go to a place where the natural world is untouched by humans. Ideally deep into nature and stay a few days, but a beach or a forest for an hour will do.

I fill my senses with reality: wind blowing, waves crashing, plants and animals doing their thing. This place was about the same a million years ago, and a million years from now, when people are gone. Nature carries on. Humans are just another chattering species, making noise like birds and dogs.

Almost nothing people say is true. My thoughts aren’t true. Norms, obligations, the past, the future, and fears: none of it is real. They’re just thoughts formed into stories. Out here, they don’t exist.

I find this a better starting place for reframing.

I think that it's imperative to spend time in nature or otherwise away from other people to clear your mind. It's very hard to reframe if you're constantly exposed to noise or feel super stressed with all the drama around.

I’m pretty bad at bowling and frisbee. I roll the ball or throw the disc straight at the target, but away it curves. After this happens a few times, I adjust. I stop aiming straight since that’s not working. If it always curves to the left, I aim to the right.

It feels wrong to aim away from the target. But it curves back to the center. It works.

Same with thoughts. I try to think straight, but sometimes my thoughts lean to one side. When my mind is missing the target, I aim it the other direction, to compensate.

I tend to blame others too much. Everything bad is someone else’s fault. So, to compensate, I assume absolutely everything is my fault.

I tend to underestimate how much time a project will take. So, to compensate, I make my best prediction, then double it.

I tend to assume I’m right. Then I noticed I was talking more than listening, and wasn’t learning. So, to compensate, I assume I know nothing and have a lot to learn.

To be clear: The new thought is not meant to be correct. It’s a counter-balance, to correct for my tendencies. Like aiming the bowling ball or frisbee to the right, so that it curves back into the target.

I just love this concept of compensating your thoughts and trying the opposite.

You might say, “I can’t help the way I feel”, as if it’s completely out of your control — as if you have no choice and are unable to feel any other way. But you do have a choice. Think a different way and you’ll feel a different way. You choose your reaction. Not the first one, but the next.

There’s a crucial moment in between when something happens and when you actually respond. It’s an important life skill. It’s as simple as this:

1. Something happens.
2. Get past your first emotional reaction.
3. Consider other ways of looking at it.
4. Pick one that feels empowering or useful.
5. It shapes how you feel and what you’ll do.

Simple, but not easy. The hardest part was getting past your first reaction.

You choose how you think and feel. You choose your meanings. Other people’s judgements, values, and meanings are also inside of you, but you can replace these with your own.

If you don’t choose your perspectives then you leave them up to mood, manipulation, or your worst impulses. Control your thoughts or be controlled.

Not much to add here: it's a neat description of the process of reframing. In the end, it all comes down to emotional control and the ability to move past your first reaction.

Doubt limitations. What’s another way to see it? What perspective would help? Ask better questions.

“I’m too old” becomes “How can I use my age to my advantage?”

“I can’t afford it” becomes “How can I afford it?”

Every problem becomes “What’s great about this?”

Much of the book comes down to asking better questions. This is a super simple but powerful reframing: instead of blaming your limitations, figure out what's great about them.

You seem to be locked in a jail cell. But if you know there’s actually a secret exit, you’ll look harder, pushing and pulling everything until you find it.

You seem to be holding a bag of trash. But if you know there’s actually a diamond inside, you’ll sift through the junk until you find it.

Your mind has a lot of trash, and often tells you there’s no way out of your situation — there’s nothing great about this. But if you decide that there is, you’ll keep looking until you find it.

I love these little hacks. Take a look at my profile pic

Eventually, you don’t need more information or time. You’ve found some good options. You need to decide. You need to switch from explorer to leader — to leading yourself.

Stop considering other viewpoints. Stop changing the course. Pick a destination and cut off other options. “Here’s where I’m going. Here’s why. Here’s how. Let’s go.” Describe the plan clearly and simply so it’s easy to remember. Go in a straight line, obstinate and undistractable. Ignore that explorer inside of you that says, “What if I tried something else, instead?”

There are two sides of yourself: the explorer and the leader. Most people who get stuck keep exploring, even when there's nothing more to explore. Then, for years, they never start anything and get frustrated with entrepreneurship even though they have never really tried it.

Derek describes it well in another chapter:

You load the program into the computer, and it begins its calculations. It’s computing. It’s working hard, and it’s going to take some time.

If you interrupt it with new instructions, it has to begin all over again, because the parameters have changed. If you keep giving it new information, it will never finish its job.

People who tell me they are lost and running in circles have one thing in common: They say they keep listening to podcasts, reading books, watching videos, doing courses — taking in more and more information — and still don’t know what to do.

Consider the computer metaphor for yourself. You’ve taken in so much information, and heard so many instructions. That’s enough input. It’s time for output. Run the program. Stop interrupting yourself with new information. Let yourself execute one plan of action, and see it through to fruition.

There are many other interesting thoughts in the book but it's relatively brief and I don't want to post too much of the content.

On the book page, there are some great questions to ask yourself:

When something goes wrong​

• What’s great about this?
• How can I use this to my advantage?
• Does this change the goal, or the path, or nothing?
• How can I reduce the downsides?

When changing direction​

• When I was at my happiest, what was I doing?
• What have I strongly wanted for the longest time?
• What’s the opposite of what I usually do?
• Which of my old beliefs are not serving me?
• Forget me. What would be most helpful for others?

When stuck​

• What is my one top priority now?
• How can I begin without waiting for anything?
• What advice would I love to hear from an all-knowing sage?
• What am I doing that’s actually a distraction?
• Instead of avoiding mistakes, how can I make more to learn faster?
• Who can help?

To make peace with what’s out of your control​

• What happens if I ignore it and do nothing?
• Should I learn a lesson from this, or just move on?
• How can I blame no one, and see this as nobody’s fault?
• How can I be OK no matter what happens?

 

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[fastlane_dad]

I recently finished reading Derek Sivers' new book Useful Not True. I've found it very quotable, with lots of interesting, unique thoughts on how to change how you think about something—and choosing a more useful perspective.

Here are some of the best quotes and my comments. Some may be taken a little out of context as I didn't want to quote too much of the book.



This is roughly the same thing I discussed in my recent thread GOLD! - MINDSET - Think for Yourself. No More Questions.. Whoever the person giving advice is, nobody gives 100% correct, universally applicable advice. There are always more answers.



This is essentially the message of Unscripted . As with the previous quote, people will try to impose their beliefs on you, maybe citing some higher purpose. But it's still just their opinion. Don't let social pressure destroy your dreams.



I think that it's imperative to spend time in nature or otherwise away from other people to clear your mind. It's very hard to reframe if you're constantly exposed to noise or feel super stressed with all the drama around.



I just love this concept of compensating your thoughts and trying the opposite.



Not much to add here: it's a neat description of the process of reframing. In the end, it all comes down to emotional control and the ability to move past your first reaction.



Much of the book comes down to asking better questions. This is a super simple but powerful reframing: instead of blaming your limitations, figure out what's great about them.



I love these little hacks. Take a look at my profile pic



There are two sides of yourself: the explorer and the leader. Most people who get stuck keep exploring, even when there's nothing more to explore. Then, for years, they never start anything and get frustrated with entrepreneurship even though they have never really tried it.

Derek describes it well in another chapter:



There are many other interesting thoughts in the book but it's relatively brief and I don't want to post too much of the content.

On the book page, there are some great questions to ask yourself:

I haven't read this particular book yet - although must say am a huge fan of Sivers and his thoughts. His curious nature / methodologies / way of asking questions is unlike that of many other thinkers I've came across.

He definitely has a 'life approach' parallel of the book 'Unscripted '. Many can learn from his openness to ideas, philosophies and experiments. He spends countless time questioning everything around him -- and then coming up with answers, which are many times even then open to interpretation.

I like (and agree) much of what you quoted above, and what he writes about.

Derek is definitely a must follow author / blogger for anyone not only interested in FASTLANE / ENTREPRENEURSHIP, but living an 'unscripted ' life in general. Many times the two go hand in hand.

Awesome post !!

 

[Yeti]

I recently finished reading Derek Sivers' new book Useful Not True. I've found it very quotable, with lots of interesting, unique thoughts on how to change how you think about something—and choosing a more useful perspective.

Here are some of the best quotes and my comments. Some may be taken a little out of context as I didn't want to quote too much of the book.



This is roughly the same thing I discussed in my recent thread GOLD! - MINDSET - Think for Yourself. No More Questions.. Whoever the person giving advice is, nobody gives 100% correct, universally applicable advice. There are always more answers.



This is essentially the message of Unscripted . As with the previous quote, people will try to impose their beliefs on you, maybe citing some higher purpose. But it's still just their opinion. Don't let social pressure destroy your dreams.



I think that it's imperative to spend time in nature or otherwise away from other people to clear your mind. It's very hard to reframe if you're constantly exposed to noise or feel super stressed with all the drama around.



I just love this concept of compensating your thoughts and trying the opposite.



Not much to add here: it's a neat description of the process of reframing. In the end, it all comes down to emotional control and the ability to move past your first reaction.



Much of the book comes down to asking better questions. This is a super simple but powerful reframing: instead of blaming your limitations, figure out what's great about them.



I love these little hacks. Take a look at my profile pic



There are two sides of yourself: the explorer and the leader. Most people who get stuck keep exploring, even when there's nothing more to explore. Then, for years, they never start anything and get frustrated with entrepreneurship even though they have never really tried it.

Derek describes it well in another chapter:



There are many other interesting thoughts in the book but it's relatively brief and I don't want to post too much of the content.

On the book page, there are some great questions to ask yourself:

Love Derek.

His book Anything You Want is one of the book that I read countless time.

I wasnt aware of this book, gotta get em now!