Hi All,
I've spent the past 2 days doing some real soul searching.
Where my family is going, how the world is changing, etc.
And in particular, my actions/activities on these forums.
I'm hanging up my mod spurs for a while. Perhaps for good-- we'll see.
Everyone reacts differently to changing times/crises.
As a control freak, my natural tendency is to, well, try and hold the reins a bit tighter.
Not a good, or realistic solution, mind you. Just who I am.
Got so bad that I was badgering MJ about some of the conspiracy posts and negativism on these forums, and he, being the mensch that he is, posted the "lets stop the blame game" notice to try and address this.
By holding on too tightly, trying to keep the forums focused in a positive, proactive direction, I violated the rights of some members who, well, were not very positive, or proactive. With MJ's permission, I removed a challenge/disagreement that I felt detracted from the point of his notice. And I deleted a thread w/a cartoon that used the world "f*ck" (normally, I'd have just inserted the asterisk, but couldn't w/an image).
Looking at the surprised and negative reaction to this, from both mods and forum members, it became crystal clear to me that I was in the wrong. I was the problem here, not the negative posters.
My instincts as a mod have been to not have these forums turn into the mangled mess that we saw over at richdad. I fought there for years to have someone clean up things, to no avail.
So as a mod on these forums, I've quietly PM'd folks who broke the no spam/no religion/no politics/no "I'm a victim" guidelines. If they continued, I edited their posts, and explained why in the "reason for editing". I've done this for more than a year.
Again, I can see now that this was my own problem, not the other posters. I saw my edits/requests as a way to improve things.
While they might have for me, these changes didn't improve the forums, at least for others.
I need to learn how to live with negative viewpoints and people who are re-active instead of pro-active on these forums. And I need to accept, with grace, people whom I feel hurt the cameraderie of what we have here.
For a while, I saw these forums as an oasis to "get away" from the insanity of the rest of the world-- a place where like minded people worked together to come up with positive solutions to sticky financial problems and challenges.
I still think this is that kind of place.
But not everyone here has that kind of energy. And I will no longer fight or challenge those who don't see the value in positive/proactive solutions to problems/challenges.
Anyways, this is a long winded way of saying, I still love all of you, and will continue to share what's happening in our lives as we move forward.
But I will be doing it on different terms, with restraint, and with a different perspective.
And for the next few weeks, at least, I won't be around the fastlane very much, as I refocus my life energies onto more personal pursuits of positive, proactive activities.
My sincere apologies to all here who have been harmed, offended, or hurt by my actions. That was never my intent.
Best,
-Russ H.
I've spent the past 2 days doing some real soul searching.
Where my family is going, how the world is changing, etc.
And in particular, my actions/activities on these forums.
I'm hanging up my mod spurs for a while. Perhaps for good-- we'll see.
Everyone reacts differently to changing times/crises.
As a control freak, my natural tendency is to, well, try and hold the reins a bit tighter.
Not a good, or realistic solution, mind you. Just who I am.
Got so bad that I was badgering MJ about some of the conspiracy posts and negativism on these forums, and he, being the mensch that he is, posted the "lets stop the blame game" notice to try and address this.
By holding on too tightly, trying to keep the forums focused in a positive, proactive direction, I violated the rights of some members who, well, were not very positive, or proactive. With MJ's permission, I removed a challenge/disagreement that I felt detracted from the point of his notice. And I deleted a thread w/a cartoon that used the world "f*ck" (normally, I'd have just inserted the asterisk, but couldn't w/an image).
Looking at the surprised and negative reaction to this, from both mods and forum members, it became crystal clear to me that I was in the wrong. I was the problem here, not the negative posters.
My instincts as a mod have been to not have these forums turn into the mangled mess that we saw over at richdad. I fought there for years to have someone clean up things, to no avail.
So as a mod on these forums, I've quietly PM'd folks who broke the no spam/no religion/no politics/no "I'm a victim" guidelines. If they continued, I edited their posts, and explained why in the "reason for editing". I've done this for more than a year.
Again, I can see now that this was my own problem, not the other posters. I saw my edits/requests as a way to improve things.
While they might have for me, these changes didn't improve the forums, at least for others.
I need to learn how to live with negative viewpoints and people who are re-active instead of pro-active on these forums. And I need to accept, with grace, people whom I feel hurt the cameraderie of what we have here.
For a while, I saw these forums as an oasis to "get away" from the insanity of the rest of the world-- a place where like minded people worked together to come up with positive solutions to sticky financial problems and challenges.
I still think this is that kind of place.
But not everyone here has that kind of energy. And I will no longer fight or challenge those who don't see the value in positive/proactive solutions to problems/challenges.
Anyways, this is a long winded way of saying, I still love all of you, and will continue to share what's happening in our lives as we move forward.
But I will be doing it on different terms, with restraint, and with a different perspective.
And for the next few weeks, at least, I won't be around the fastlane very much, as I refocus my life energies onto more personal pursuits of positive, proactive activities.
My sincere apologies to all here who have been harmed, offended, or hurt by my actions. That was never my intent.
Best,
-Russ H.
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