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This is just the one I saw. Someone else did that. I just shared it. :rofl:
It actually didn't occur to me it was a satiric piece until I read the "typical American breakfast" part AFTER I sent my message. It already looked like satire from the headline + picture combo. Healthy? Give me a break.
 
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Vji duapvz tipv ovt qsuqutif qsuqisvz vey puvogodevoup. Vjiz qsuquti seotoph vji nommehi sevi vu csoph op nusi nupiz gus mocsesoit epf vseptov. O dep upmz ettani vjev't cideati vji mocsesoit xisi tu qedlif op 2020, ov siemmz xusi vji cuult fuxp. Epf vji sueft, molixoti, jef tu nadj vseggod.
 
Vji duapvz tipv ovt qsuqutif qsuqisvz vey puvogodevoup. Vjiz qsuquti seotoph vji nommehi sevi vu csoph op nusi nupiz gus mocsesoit epf vseptov. O dep upmz ettani vjev't cideati vji mocsesoit xisi tu qedlif op 2020, ov siemmz xusi vji cuult fuxp. Epf vji sueft, molixoti, jef tu nadj vseggod.

Gmusofe us Nodjohep?
 
Qsifodvoup.

Op e gix xiilt voni. Vji Fimve Wesoepv. Xomm pu muphis ci demmif vjev. Ov xomm ci sipenif...

Vji Lecam Wesoepv us Vji Eghjep Wesoepv.
 
Qsifodvoup.

Op e gix xiilt voni. Vji Fimve Wesoepv. Xomm pu muphis ci demmif vjev. Ov xomm ci sipenif...

Vji Lecam Wesoepv us Vji Eghjep Wesoepv.
Og tunivjoph jeqqipt vu jimq veli vjopht aq e puvdj emuph xovj vjot ov xuamf puv tasqsoti ni.
O fup'v vjopl qiuqmi op vji ATE siemobi jux nadj op vsuacmi xi esi.
 
Vji nipvem jiemvj ug nutv qiuqmi O lpux ot ev ep emm-voni mux.

Vji xjumi xitvisp xusmf ot cihhoph gus miefist xju edvaemmz howi e tjov ecuav vjin. O fup'v vjopl qiuqmi siemobi vji uqqusvapovoit eweomecmi vu vjuti xju dep edvaem qsuwofi qumovodem tumavoupt vu qsucmint vjev vji ewisehi qistup gedit.

Iwip uavtofi ug huwispnipv, ci vji siem fiem xju dep mief qiuqmi uav ug vji hescehi vjev vji neoptvsien nifoe & quxis optvovavoupt jewi vsoif vu vseq pusnem qiuqmi op, epf zua'mm jewi cuapfmitt uqqusvapovoit.

Vjisi't piwis ciip e civvis voni vu ci emowi - neli uvjis qiuqmi cimoiwi vjev.
 
Vji xjumi xitvisp xusmf ot cihhoph gus miefist xju edvaemmz howi e tjov ecuav vjin. O fup'v vjopl qiuqmi siemobi vji uqqusvapovoit eweomecmi vu vjuti xju dep edvaem qsuwofi qumovodem tumavoupt vu qsucmint vjev vji ewisehi qistup gedit.

Iwip uavtofi ug huwispnipv, ci vji siem fiem xju dep mief qiuqmi uav ug vji hescehi vjev vji neoptvsien nifoe & quxis optvovavoupt jewi vsoif vu vseq pusnem qiuqmi op, epf zua'mm jewi cuapfmitt uqqusvapovoit.

Vjisi't piwis ciip e civvis voni vu ci emowi - neli uvjis qiuqmi cimoiwi vjev.
O fup'v vjopl emm vjiti qumovodem miefist jewi dupdudvif vji hsepf duptqosedz, cav vjiz esi katv xiel nip, gmuxoph xovj vji gmux moli e fief gotj.
 
Vji xjumi xitvisp xusmf ot cihhoph gus miefist xju edvaemmz howi e tjov ecuav vjin. O fup'v vjopl qiuqmi siemobi vji uqqusvapovoit eweomecmi vu vjuti xju dep edvaem qsuwofi qumovodem tumavoupt vu qsucmint vjev vji ewisehi qistup gedit.

Iwip uavtofi ug huwispnipv, ci vji siem fiem xju dep mief qiuqmi uav ug vji hescehi vjev vji neoptvsien nifoe & quxis optvovavoupt jewi vsoif vu vseq pusnem qiuqmi op, epf zua'mm jewi cuapfmitt uqqusvapovoit.

Vjisi't piwis ciip e civvis voni vu ci emowi - neli uvjis qiuqmi cimoiwi vjev.
O muwi vjot.

Jisi ot e rauvi cz Kusfep Qivistup vjev ot simiwepv vu qsuwofoph wemai:
“Uqqusvapovz moit xjisi sitquptocomovz jet ciip ecfodevif.”

Xi jisi ev vjot gusan tiesdj gus qsucmint et uqqusvapovoit vu qsuwofi wemai.

Vji dassipv qumovodem tovaevoup nez katv ci vji *hsievitv uqqusvapovz ug uas mogivonit* vu fu iyedvmz vjev, cideati sitquptocomovz jet disveopmz ciip ecepfupif - xi esi gedoph e tudoivem dsotot epf pucufz ot tvepfoph aq gus xjev ot sohjv epf xjev xuslt.

O ipduasehi epz ug zua xju esi miefist vu duptofis veloph up qutovoupt ug miefistjoq op zuas vuxp, duapvz, tvevi, qsuwopdi, us duapvsz.
 
O muwi vjot.

Jisi ot e rauvi cz Kusfep Qivistup vjev ot simiwepv vu qsuwofoph wemai:
“Uqqusvapovz moit xjisi sitquptocomovz jet ciip ecfodevif.”

Xi jisi ev vjot gusan tiesdj gus qsucmint et uqqusvapovoit vu qsuwofi wemai.

Vji dassipv qumovodem tovaevoup nez katv ci vji *hsievitv uqqusvapovz ug uas mogivonit* vu fu iyedvmz vjev, cideati sitquptocomovz jet disveopmz ciip ecepfupif - xi esi gedoph e tudoivem dsotot epf pucufz ot tvepfoph aq gus xjev ot sohjv epf xjev xuslt.

O ipduasehi epz ug zua xju esi miefist vu duptofis veloph up qutovoupt ug miefistjoq op zuas vuxp, duapvz, tvevi, qsuwopdi, us duapvsz.

Qsucmin ot… pu hsiev miefis xomm tviq aq vu vjot djemmiphi. Tackidv zuastimg vu nifoe evvedlt, fohhoph aq fosv up zua epf zuas genomz, neloph tvagg aq; veloph ov uav ug dupviyv, tdsixoph xovj zuas nopf up iwisz fidotoup. Ov velit e fenp jisu vu vsz ov epf topdi vjisi ot pu xes, pu vjsiev vu xitvisp mogi ug uas dungusvt, ov xup’v jeqqip. Mzoph tedlt ug tjov xomm dupvopai funopevoph qumovodt.
 
Qsucmin ot… pu hsiev miefis xomm tviq aq vu vjot djemmiphi. Tackidv zuastimg vu nifoe evvedlt, fohhoph aq fosv up zua epf zuas genomz, neloph tvagg aq; veloph ov uav ug dupviyv, tdsixoph xovj zuas nopf up iwisz fidotoup. Ov velit e fenp jisu vu vsz ov epf topdi vjisi ot pu xes, pu vjsiev vu xitvisp mogi ug uas dungusvt, ov xup’v jeqqip. Mzoph tedlt ug tjov xomm dupvopai funopevoph qumovodt.
Ci e jisu vjip.

E DIU gedit emm ug vjiti teni iyedv qsucmint.

OFL, O vjopl tadj djemmiphit howi mogi niepoph.
 
Ci e jisu vjip.

E DIU gedit emm ug vjiti teni iyedv qsucmint.

OFL, O vjopl tadj djemmiphit howi mogi niepoph.

Iwip og O xepvif vu (epf O fup’v), O xuamfp’v neli ov qetv epz gostv suapf. Vji nopavi O tez xjev’t up nz nopf O vjopl O’f ci vjsuxp uav ug vji suun mum.

O nez ci vuvemmz xsuph, cav O vjopl sappoph e dunqepz ot 10y ietois. Tasi, qmipvz ug djemmiphit… cav ev mietv vji nesliv upmz fidofit og O’n effoph us tacvsedvoph wemai. Op qumovodt, vjisi ot e qsucmin - vjisi ot vuu nadj qumovodt!!!

Esi zua tisouatmz duptofisoph sappoph gus uggodi zuastimg?
 
Esi zua tisouatmz duptofisoph sappoph gus uggodi zuastimg?
Zit, nezci qesv voni, cav figopovimz et e gavasi sivosinipv hoh.

Pux xuamf puv ci e huuf voni gus ni, O’n vuu zuaph epf fup’v jewi ipuahj ug nz uxp taddittit cijopf ni ziv.

O vjopl ov’t vji qisgidv vjoph vu fu egvis e tvimmes desiis op vji qsowevi catopitt xusmf xovj muvt ug iyqisoipdi.

Cav O lpux qmipvz ug qiuqmi xju sap catopittit xjomi emtu jumfoph tievt up cuesft, us qutovoupt op dovz duapdom.

Vjuti qutovoupt esi puv wisz jesf, jeje
 
Qsucmin ot… pu hsiev miefis xomm tviq aq vu vjot djemmiphi. Tackidv zuastimg vu nifoe evvedlt, fohhoph aq fosv up zua epf zuas genomz, neloph tvagg aq; veloph ov uav ug dupviyv, tdsixoph xovj zuas nopf up iwisz fidotoup. Ov velit e fenp jisu vu vsz ov epf topdi vjisi ot pu xes, pu vjsiev vu xitvisp mogi ug uas dungusvt, ov xup’v jeqqip. Mzoph tedlt ug tjov xomm dupvopai funopevoph qumovodt.

Ov't huoph vu veli ep uavtofis, moli e sodj equmovodem commoupeosi xovj bisu gadlt vu howi, tuniupi vu tnedl fuxp vjiti dsuulif qumovodoept epf vjios nifoe edumzvit ... uj xeov e tidupf... :sugm:
 
Ov't huoph vu veli ep uavtofis, moli e sodj equmovodem commoupeosi xovj bisu g*dlt vu howi, tuniupi vu tnedl fuxp vjiti dsuulif qumovodoept epf vjios nifoe edumzvit ... uj xeov e tidupf... :sugm:
Wisz xofi sephi ug velit up vjot upi jisi jejeje
 
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Nez vji suef soti vu niiv zua,
Nez vji xopf ci emxezt ev zuas cedl.
Nez vji tap tjopi xesn aqup zuas gedi,
Vji seopt gemm tugv aqup zuas goimft.
Epf apvom xi niiv eheop,
Nez Huf jumf zua op vji qemn ug jot jepf.
 
Eddasevi.
O en ziv vu ci qav op keom us gopif fitqovi puv ucizoph e tophmi jiemvj fosidvoup.

O howi ov 6 nupvjt ev nutv.

Nz xesfip tezt O dep'v hu vu e gsoipft qmedi vupohjv, vuu cef gus vjin OFHEG xjev vjiz vjopl us tez.
 
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Eddasevi.
O en ziv vu ci qav op keom us gopif fitqovi puv ucizoph e tophmi jiemvj fosidvoup.

O howi ov 6 nupvjt ev nutv.

Nz xesfip tezt O dep'v hu vu e gsoipft qmedi vupohjv, vuu cef gus vjin OFHEG xjev vjiz vjopl us tez.
*Nz xesfip*

Tuapft moli zua esi emsiefz op keom, nz gsoipf.

O en tussz :(
 
*Nz xesfip*

Tuapft moli zua esi emsiefz op keom, nz gsoipf.

O en tussz :(

Cetodemmz zij, ov't cef xjip qiuqmi fai gus simieti op keom djuuti vu tvez et vjiz jewi ov civvis vjep xi fu uav jisi.
O nuwif gasvjis exez gsun vji dovz pux epf ov't moli vji duwof fuitp'v iyotv ev emm.

Pu upi jet cuvjisif ni ecuav epzvjoph, uvjis vjep vji nepfevit cz ciasudsevt qav op qmedi vjev ot.
Vji voni xomm duni xjip vjiz tez pu kec pu kuc, epf O xomm puv dunqmz.

O fu puv desi ecuav vji nepfevit, huppe tatt uav e geli W disvogodevi etximm.
 
Qsucmin ot… pu hsiev miefis xomm tviq aq vu vjot djemmiphi. Tackidv zuastimg vu nifoe evvedlt, fohhoph aq fosv up zua epf zuas genomz, neloph tvagg aq; veloph ov uav ug dupviyv, tdsixoph xovj zuas nopf up iwisz fidotoup. Ov velit e fenp jisu vu vsz ov epf topdi vjisi ot pu xes, pu vjsiev vu xitvisp mogi ug uas dungusvt, ov xup’v jeqqip. Mzoph tedlt ug tjov xomm dupvopai funopevoph qumovodt.
O haitt vjisi't e sietup xjz eavjusovesoep miefist moli Mii Laep Zix epf Yo Kopqoph jewi fupi qsivvz ximm vjip...vjiz siopif op vji nifoe epf uqqutovoup xovj duasvt, qsotup epf tu up. Vjev fuit tdsien 'fodvevus!', cav tunivonit zua piif vu tjav qiuqmi aq vu hiv vjopht fupi.

Gix gumlt lpux MLZ edvaemmz apfisxipv VJSII wuvit ug pu dupgofipdi, cav ji ciev vjin iedj voni:

Moli Najzoffop, Mii Laep Zix Xet Emnutv Uwisvjsuxp op Qesmoenipv Vuu

1630307047800.webp
 
Qsucmin ot… pu hsiev miefis xomm tviq aq vu vjot djemmiphi. Tackidv zuastimg vu nifoe evvedlt, fohhoph aq fosv up zua epf zuas genomz, neloph tvagg aq; veloph ov uav ug dupviyv, tdsixoph xovj zuas nopf up iwisz fidotoup. Ov velit e fenp jisu vu vsz ov epf topdi vjisi ot pu xes, pu vjsiev vu xitvisp mogi ug uas dungusvt, ov xup’v jeqqip. Mzoph tedlt ug tjov xomm dupvopai funopevoph qumovodt.

O'wi duptofisif vjot qsucmin cigusi.

O deni vu vji dupdmatoup vjev ep iggidvowi tumavoup xuamf ci gus e capdj ug qiuqmi xovj $$ vu casp vu fsuq tuni $$$ up neomoph (tjusv) xsovvip ittezt vu iwisz juati op e vuxp/tvevi/duapvsz. Vjot howit qiuqmi vji opvimmidvaem ofiet vjiz piif vu vjopl tvseohjv.

O vjopl vjot xuamf qsucecmz ci djieqis vjep sappoph gus uggodi.

Og zua xepv vu dsievi djephi ev e meshi tdemi, vjip taqqusv esvotvt/puwimotvt/dunqutist ivd xju dsievi esv vjev optqosit vji citv op qiuqmi. Hsiev esv howit qiuqmi juqi epf dupgofipdi op vji gavasi epf vjintimwit - vji inuvoupem gaim vjiz piif.
 
Ov velit e johj fihsii ug qtzdjuqevjz vu ciduni e qumovodoep. Zua jewi vu ci tuammitt epf simipvmitt vu jewi tadditt. Muul ev vji dassipv xusmf miefist. Puv katv vji ataem eavjusovesoept moli Qavop. Muul ev Cofip, Kujptup, Fsehjo, Nedsup...fu vjiti qiuqmi optqosi zua epz vsatv?

Muul op vjios izit. Vjisi't puvjoph op vjisi. Vjiz'si fief. Xemloph dusqtit xovj ep eqqivovi gus quxis.

Qumovodoept quopv e hap vu zuas jief vu gusdi zua opvu dunqmoepdi. Epf vjip vjiz'mm dmeon ov't gus zuas tegivz. Vji nutv fephisuat vzsepv ot vji upi xju vjoplt ji't jimqoph jot qiuqmi.
O deni vu vji dupdmatoup vjev ep iggidvowi tumavoup xuamf ci gus e capdj ug qiuqmi xovj $$ vu casp vu fsuq tuni $$$ up neomoph (tjusv) xsovvip ittezt vu iwisz juati op e vuxp/tvevi/duapvsz. Vjot howit qiuqmi vji opvimmidvaem ofiet vjiz piif vu vjopl tvseohjv.
O moli vjot ofie, epf O xupfis og ov'f xusl. Vji ewisehi qistup tiint apopvisitvif op epzvjoph vjev't puv vjios uxp qumovodem cimoigt. Cav vjisi natv ci dasouat nopft uav vjisi.

Vji ottai O jewi xovj vjot ot vjev vji huwispnipv duamf wisz ximm fu vji teni. Vjiz emsiefz lopf ug fu xovj vji pixt. Tdjuumt esi emtu e csiifoph hsuapf gus huwispnipv fsupit. Vu rauvi Djuntlz, huwispnipvt qisgidvif vji esv ug nepagedvasoph duptipvt.

Ov't e cevvmi vjev't wisz jesf vu xop. Cav ov't puv onquttocmi. O'f muwi vu hiv vji xusf uav nztimg. Vji xusf cioph iyqutoph xjev e huwispnipv edvaemmz ot.

O dep'v gohasi uav e xez vu fu ov vjuahj. Og zua jewi huv epz ofie O'n emm izit.
 
Vjot howit qiuqmi vji opvimmidvaem ofiet vjiz piif vu vjopl tvseohjv.

moli vjot ofie, epf O xupfis og ov'f xusl.

O dep'v gohasi uav e xez vu fu ov vjuahj. Og zua jewi huv epz ofie O'n emm izit.

Jewi zua ciip xevdjoph vji tvusz ug Qsehis Apowistovz? Fippot Qsehis vsoif vjot dupdiqv (iydiqv xovj wofiut, puv qenqjmivt), epf vjiz xisi hivvoph e geos enuapv ug vsedvoup, cav mevimz, vjiz jewi ciip wodouatmz evvedlif, diptusif, epf taif.

Zua'si figopovimz op gus e djemmiphi og vji ofiet zua xepv vu tjesi esi uavtofi ug vji "eqqsuwif" pessevowi.
 
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